I could use a virtual DU hug....(long read)

[mikita]

I have only ditto-head relatives (call Clinton a rapist and Whistle-Ass brilliant in the same sentence), and I am usually quiet rather than trying to swim upstream, but I finally had it, and decided silence was tacit approval. Here's what happened, and I'd really like to know if you think I'm overly sensitive....

Older Brother sent email with a make believe California driver's license that had a picture of a wild-eyed Mexican with a clip of bullets around his neck (you can imagine) and such things as
DOB: unknown, SEX: mucho, WT: Too much Signature: big X.

You get the picture I'm sure.

The text said:
New California Drivers License:
There is science, logic, reason; there is thought verified by experience. And then there is California.

He added: Funny 'cause it's true...

He sent this to a dozen people, including relatives (younger brother and cousin).

I replied:

Older Brother,
I am appalled that you find this "funny" on ANY level. Please don't send me stuff like this.
(I copied relatives because I wanted to let them know not to send me shit like this).
M.

Older Brother's response:
Hi M, Guess you've never been rear-ended by an illegal Mexican driver (I paid for all the damages), watched pregnant Mexican women cross the border to give birth in a US hospital so their children are US citizens (at my expense), saw your children's educational curriculum watered down to accommodate all the illegal "Latins" in the district. Sad to say, most everything on the "new driver's license" is true. That, coupled with frustration, is what makes this funny. Sorry if it's not your cup of tea. Not to worry. I'll take you off the list.

If you'd prefer a more scholarly examination of the issue, you might want to try the following book (gave a link to a book called Mexifornia). The scope of this problem is alarming, made worse when US citizens can't find politicians with enough spine to tackle it.
Talk to you soon. Love, Older Brother

M. responded:
Hi Older Brother:
Thanks for taking me off the list. One thing we can agree on -- this is not my cup of tea. Sweeping generalizations about Mexicans are no better than the generalized bashing of Jewish people that Mom partakes in. The portion of my taxes that goes to pregnant Mexican women pales in comparison to what I'm paying for corporate welfare or Halliburton in Iraq. Not a perfect world.
Love,
M.

Younger brother weighed in:
Uhhh,OK. Another interpretation is that it ridiculing the state of politics in California, not maligning Mexicans. Using Alfonso Bedoya,("I don't have to show you any stinking badges!") merely highlights the satirical content. To each his own.
Love,
younger brother

Older Brother:
Hey, looks like the third shift research team beat me to my points. Yes, it's satire and yes, it's about illegal immigration. It is not about all Mexicans. I'm surprised you would think I'd indulge in anything akin to anti-Semitism. It may also not have been a good idae to acquaint "cousin" with this side of Mom; he's particularly fond of her.

You compressed many talking points in the next sentence: misspent tax dollars, "corporate welfare", Halliburton earning money (oh, dear). I'm happy to continue to conversation if you are.
See ya.
Older Brother

I'm leaving it here and not responding because it think it's useless, but I'd love to hear DU comments, and will gratefully accept any hugs.
I feel lonely right now.

Mikita

[proud patriot]

1. (((hug)))

Let us know if you want help responding .

[mikita]

3. yes i would love help...

I know how I feel but have trouble expressing myself. One of the reasons why I lurk all the time, and only post every blue moon.

I'd love ANY advice!

[Boudicea]

2. Good for you for standing up to that crap

It can be hard to do that with siblings. Bravo! P.S. No advise from me, only 1 of my 3 bros will speak to me.

[mikita]

5. thank you....

your response made me laugh....which I haven't done today.

My stats aren't good. My sister, who was my soul-mate in thoughts, died, and I only have these 2 brothers left.

[Pale Blue Dot]

4. Over Christmas, I got in my first political fight with my family

My younger sister actually said that "Bush can't be a bad man because Laura Bush is a good woman and she would never marry a bad man." Well, the faulty logic just set me off. It was during the ensuing "conversation" that I told my family that no WMD would ever be found - something I have yet to rub in their faces.

Cheer up, mikita, you turned out well.

[VermontDem2004]

12. Laura Bush a good woman?

perhaps she doesn't know about her hit and run on her fiancee.

[Kamika]

6. heh i know how you feel

My family isnt as horrible as your brother but mom and dad thinks bush is pretty much sent here by God.

I found just shutting up was the best way to counter it..

you cant debate with a freeper it is impossible.. Its like punching a brick wall with your fist over and over and over..

Im glad my sister is a liberal like me because i would have seriously disowned a brother like yours (based on this )

[displacedtexan]

7. don't forget to remind brother dear

that rush is the guru of the uneducated masses.

it took me more than a decade to bring my brother back from the darkside, but it happened! as long as you continue to add qualifiers, (like, 'you know i love you, but i disagree...'), you should be able to keep your cool and your brother's affection.

HUG SENT!

[mikita]

8. I think you're a better person than I....

I don't really feel much affection for either brother anymore. I feel guilty, guilty, guilty about my feelings towards what's left of my family, but I honestly wouldn't choose these guys for friends if I met them at a party.

You have my utmost admiration for hanging in there.

[sangh0]

9. Tell them

"I'm glad to see you're still so interested in illegal immigration. I suggest you keep pushing that issue, seeing as how well it's worked in the past for you Republicans" (then send him some info on Pete Wilson's disasterous attempt to deny illegal immigrants health care, educations, etc)

You should also get them riled by sending them a pic of Bush* in his flight suit along with some links about how Bush* went AWOL.

DOB: reborn at age 40 after a lot of cocaine and alcohol,
SEX: None (have you taken a look at "Pickles" lately?)
WT: Too much beer
Signature: big X.

[mikita]

11. tears of laughter now....

oh.. my.. god.. I love your rejoinder on the DOB, SEX, WT, Signature. This is too funny. Thank you SO much for your ideas, and your humor!!

[AnnabelLee]

10. This is such a difficult situation

I can only offer you a hug (((((mikita)))))

When you have differing political views from the rest of your family, it sometimes comes down to a hard choice.:-(

[prolesunited]

13. Well, let's see

I got in an argument with my sister about 9-11 being wrapped in the flag and tied with the bow of religion. Her response, "Some people just care about God and country more than you," which led to a heated debate.

The other night during a family dinner at a restaurant, my younger brother suggest we just "nuke the Mideast and be done with it." As soon as I started going off on him, they changed the subject since we were in public.

The solution for me is to just not talk about politics with them, but since that is such a big part of my life these days, it definitely stifles conversation.

But family is family and I'm sure you share other bonds with them. Don't let politics destroy those. Hope everything works out.

[mikita]

14. you've hit on a core of the problem for me...

and that is that the current geopolitical situation is very much a part of my life, like it or not.

So I stay away from politics/religion/race/ and then there are these stunning silences. We can't even discuss books anymore, as I keep devouring books that are no where near my brother's radar.

So then they say whatever they want, insulting whomever they please, and I just remain quiet. I feel like the movie (Network, I think?)

I'M MAD AS HELL AND I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!

I seem to lose either my soul or whatever bonds there are with family.

[prolesunited]

16. Sit down with them and set up some boundaries with them

Explain how you feel and that you want to continue your relationship with them but you need to establish ground rules. Tell them you don't want to listen to slurs and insults any longer and that these issues are important to you.

To be honest, I simply spend less time around my family these days. My dad voted for Bush. Eeeek! He regrets it now, but still. :eyes:

[mikita]

18. so do you think I should continue emailing them on this?.....

neither lives close to me (thankfully). I've tried earlier to converse with both separately on the phone and "older" told me I was a "pathetic loser" and "younger" said he would communicate with me "when he felt like it". Perhaps if I leave it right where it is now, and don't respond, I'll stay out of deeper doo-doo.

[prolesunited]

22. Sounds like they are not budging

For the sake of family harmony, I would just leave it alone. I don't think you'll be able to change their minds, so why beat your head against a brick wall. Why not use your energy to help persuade other friends and co-workers who are open minded?

[mikita]

23. thanks for your help and support ... means alot n/t

[salin]

26. They know where you stand - leave it at that.

There have been many stories of relatives and colleagues - hearing that "last straw" of news (varies what pushes people over the edge) and finally getting fed up with BUsh - and quietly letting the previously dissed person know that they have changed their view. If and when this happens with any who had been involved in the email interchange - they will let you know - and then be open for more information. If it doesn't - you have dropped it and set some boundaries.

[BigMcLargehuge]

15. Internecine battling is the worst

:hug: Mikita.

At least you can be proud that both your brothers are literate enough to discuss this without e-mail flamethrowers. I know how hard it is when an ideological divide separates us from kith and kin.

Agree to disgree, do your part for the cause and don't worry about converting them. In my experience everyone has that defining experience that pushes them to one side or the other. For your older brother it may have been the car accident, and it's a shame that something so inconsequential could feed such a dislike of social programs.

Politics aside, they are your brothers, and if anything like mine (and they sound like it) I still love and look after them all the time. Politics is politics and blood is blood.

Be your own person and let them be theirs.

[soleft]

17. My mother calls Bill O'Reilly her boyfriend

So I'm with you in spirit.

[mikita]

19. my mom loves Rush....

she's 91 and very little money, and I'll never understand what any Republican has done for her, but there it is. At least O'Reilly is a wee bit better looking, IMHO.

Thanks!

[cally]

20. Time to invoke the familial guilt

I have no idea how you sway them because I have failed to sway some members of my family. They do laugh at Arnold and told me that they were proud of me for going to anti-war rallies, so I still have hope. However, I'm a master at the guilt aspect. You asked them to not send you their filth and they ridiculed you for it. Respond by asking if they respect your feelings, beliefs, and education. I told them that I know they disagree with me but this is not a joking matter. It's who I am now. I did that and I quit getting the filth. Good luck.

[mikita]

21. thanks much cally.... great suggestions.... n/t

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

24. How about responding with a few facts

1. Licensed drivers can get insurance. Licensing drivers will lead to more insured drivers on the road.

2. Undocumented aliens usually have false identification due to tough california laws and therefore pay taxes they are unlikely to recover.

3. Undocumented workers pay into the state disability pool.

4. Undocumented workers pay federal taxes and pay into a social security fund they will most likely not be able to reclaim.

5. Immigration is the responsibility of the FEDERAL government (i.e. GEORGIE)

6. Undicumented workers are only here because businesses HIRE them.

7. Ever eat an onion picked by a causasian? Didn't think so.

8. NONE (ABSOLUTELY NONE) of the studies documenting the COSTS ofundocumented workers EVER mentions the above offsets.

9. If your brother really wants to see the California economy tank..let's send undocumented workers home. Hotels will have unmade beds, fruits will ROT on the vine, carswashes will close, dishes will not get washed...the list is endless.

10. Ask your brother why school in wealthier areas with little or NO undocumented workers also have some mighty poor test scores and how schools in Anaheim and other areas of Orange County where a number of migrant workers live can still be competitive...also ask him why white male college degrees are declining when they have every opportunity to enroll.

Please ask your brother to conduct a survey amongst his racists friends and find out which of them will nominate themselves or their KIDS to fill these jobs.

Feel free to steal this post!

on edit: Almost forgot (((((HUG)))))

[mikita]

25. A BIG THANKS for all....

I knew only a few of these, as I watch our Christmas tree economy (in NC) supported by very hard-working young migrant workers. I did SO want to say that SOMEONE out there is hiring them (for next to nothing), and WHO might that be?

I haven't resorted to baiting them, but BOTH brothers are currently unemployed, thanks to our marvelous leadership.

Thanks both for your great information AND hug!!

[salin]

27. While I would suggest taking Cally's approach

eg lets respect each other enough not to egg each other on - respect me enough to let me disagree with you and not get flooded with those emails that you KNOW I will disagree with, and I will respect you enough not to harp on you for sending that stuff out that does - to some recipients - read like racist commentary (at least you, dear brother, should know this so you are careful to whom you send this - because some folks will find it more of a reflection upon you, than "satire". )

Okay maybe not that last item.

But if he (they) keep sending you stuff. And you don't mind being as snide as he is being with you - Then regardings the bro. in California (or so it sounds) - let him know that you are pretty sure that there are migrant farm worker jobs - and that if he is willing to work below minimum wage (so the companies make more money... oh dear!) - that he could both get work, and take the job away from an illegal immigrant. And if he got some of his unemployed friends to do the same - they might stem the "demand" side of illegal immigration by taking away enough jobs that illegals wouldn't immigrate because their were no jobs.

[mikita]

28. oh too great thou art !!!!!

I am at least having some fun composing "virtual" emails that I'll never send....

I so love your point "if he is willing to work below minimum wage (so the companies make more money...oh dear!)". You don't know how that 'oh dear' of his irritated my bowels.

The real laugh is that older bro left California (with my help, stupid ass that I was) in 1989, and is now a resident in NC!!!
So the "accident" he purports to have had is ancient history. And god knows where he's getting all his "facts".

Fortunately for me, I headed for the mountains of NC and he is still stuck in the piedmont.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

29. Good for you!

It's tiresome receiving that kind of crap; and if they can't take your criticism, they shouldn't be sending it out!

~huggggggggggs~

[mikita]

31. thanks for your kind words...

your posting name scared me at first because it is amazingly close to some real names involved here. whew!!

[scarlet_owl]

30. Here's a hug

You done this Mexican-American proud. Keep on standing up, we're all behind you.

:pals: :hug:

[mikita]

32. dear scarlet owl -- thank YOU....

It is so wonderful to hear from you. It makes all my tears and angst today worth it. I will stand a bit taller now....and not second-guess myself.

[newyawker99]

33. ((((((mikita))))))

:-)

[mikita]

34. Thank you DUers for your support today....

I have to leave for a while, but I really appreciate all the kind words, hugs, encouragement and brilliant ideas supplied today.

A good friend who is not on DU sent the following prayer for me
today, and I thought I should share:

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest
the crotch of the person who screws up your day
and may their arms be too short to scratch. Amen.

Love you all. This is a magnificent support system.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

35. And take solace in the fact that

HE'S IN PEIDMONT and YOU'RE NOT!!!! :evilgrin:

[ikojo]

36. Mikita....I know how you feel....

there are just certain things I don't talk to my siblings about and W is one of them. As a matter of fact my very conservative sister called me on my cell phone the morning "it" was in St Louis. She just had to rub it in how much she likes him. Now mind you it is against her class interests to support this administration but she does because he is anti choice! That is the ONE issue she is rabid about...babies, babies, babies!

Here is your hug.....:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:


For sticking it out in a freeper family.....:yourock:

[regnaD kciN]

37. Here's one...

:hug:

BTW, your brother is an asshole.