Favorite Beavis and Butthead quote

[ButterflyBlood]

this one always makes me crack up for some reason. It's in the episode where they want to throw a party and buy some stale donuts at the gas station:

Butthead: Alright, now all we need is some hard stuff.
Beavis: Heh heh, I got some hard stuff.
Butthead: Not that Beavis, I mean like, some booze.

and then in the episode where Butthead's choking and Beavis calls 911:

911: Have you performed the Heimlich on him?
Beavis: Have I licked his rectum? No, but there was this one time me and Butthead were playing truth or dare...

[BigMcLargehuge]

1. The choking on chicken one is my all time favorite.

911 operator: You don't know the Heimleich Maneuver it's in every restaurant in America!
Beavis: Oh right... thank you, drive through...

Later he returns with the SIGN from the fast food place where they work. And what sign is it? "Employees must wash hands before returning to work"

Kills me just thinking about it.

[Cush]

2. would tell you

but my brother has my DVD's.

But from "Tainted Meat"

Butthead (over the mic) "Damn it Beavis, put that away. You're not supposed to have your penis out at work"....{customer at drive through drives away}

From the Dream On ep

Beavis: "But master, does not the fire need the water, does not the mountain need the storm too? And does not your scrotum need the kicking?"

Butthead: Number 1, I order you to go take a number 2

Butthead: Fire those retro rockets, shoot the futon torpedos, and you, show me your thingys

[rucky]

3. Burritos for Breakfast?

Stewart's mom is kewl.

[underpants]

4. Come to Butthead

:bounce:

[AnnabelLee]

5. Rod Munch

With the unnecessary series of rabies shots for Beavis.:D

On edit: I always laugh when I remember the voice-over before the commercial break that said something like, "Beavis searches for his mother, who has her DNA changed in order to avoid him".

[peekaloo]

6. Diarrhea.....cha cha cha

their little ditty for greeting Daria.

[JVS]

7. Beavis commenting on a video in which a woman vomits blood

"That was beyond the limits of good taste."
It just kills me. Beavis, arbitrator of good taste! :-)

[CO Liberal]

8. "I Need TP For My Bunghole!!!!"

:-)

[dolo amber]

9. While watching the video

for "Pavement - Cut your hair" in which the band just sorta sits around a barber shop, Butthead says:

"They're not trying very hard."

Also, while watching some horridly cheesy 80's hair band video, Butthead says:

"These effects aren't very special." :D

[regularguy]

10. Butthead: These chicks are hot!

Beavis: Are you sure they're chicks?

Betthead:They better be chicks, 'cause they're giving me a Woodrow.

[regularguy]

11. While watching the Dead Milkmen video:

"A real punk rock chick would eat this guy alive"

[frylock]

12. from the poetry slam/cornholio episode..

I forget the title, but Cornholio is onstage just rambling after drinking a pot of crappucino, and some dude turns to Butt-head and remarks about Beavis' poetry:

Dude: This is some pretty ground breaking stuff! Your friend, is he Spanish? Russian?

Butt-head: yeh.. he's rushin'!

[phillybri]

13. "Beavis, I have seen the top of the mountain...and it is good."

He was looking down some chick's shirt while she was cutting his hair....Classic.

[mac56]

14. My fave

Beavis: Nobody likes stuff that sucks!
Butthead: Then why does so much stuff suck?

[sexybomber]

15. "This bowling ball isn't human. It doesn't feel pain.'

"It can't be reasoned with!"

[Cush]

16. or..

while watching the video for Blackhole Sun:

Butthead: It is in these hills that Juan Valdez and his trusty goat go to collect coffee beans in the morning

[SmileyBoy]

29. I remember that one!!!!!! LOL LOL LOL

That one almost made me piss my pants when I first saw it in 1995 or so. A kick-ass quote along with a kick-ass song!!!!

[Swede]

17. " Tatttoo's are cool" Beavis

"Yeah,I wish I was born with one." Butthead
"You're not born with a tattoo,dumbass. You get them when you join the navy." Beavis

[PROGRESSIVE1]

18. None what so EVER!!!!!!!!!

White Trash :eyes:

[catmandu57]

19. "This sucks, change the channel"

Beavis: "I wonder what they did before they had TV".
Butthead: " Don't be stupid--they've always had TV, there's just more stuff on it now".

[Kolesar]

20. "One more time, If I wanted to read, I would go to school"

Whenever they were watching a video with the lyrics displayed on the screen.

[ProudGerman]

21. Hmmm, this white trash's favorite is:

It was after Beavis was no longer allowed to mention fire (I think it was after an incident where a 4 year old was left unattended and babysat by B&B, and ended up burning the trailer down, could be wrong though). Anyways, the producers of the cartoons came up with several clever ways around that. They were watching that video where the guy runs down a street in slow motion completely engulfed in flames. Beavis is mesmerized, sounding like a gravily voiced woman on a slow build to orgasm. Butthead interrupts him several times, and Beavis uncharacteristicly threatens to kick the crap out of Butthead if he didn't shut up. The whole exchange is hilarious.

Either that, or "My people have but one bunghole."

[SmileyBoy]

22. BH: "Knock-Knock..."

Beavis: "Who's there?"
BH: "Ura."
Beavis: "Ura who??"
BH; "You're an.... uh... urine..."

[ButterflyBlood]

24. ha ha that reminds me of the substitute teacher one

Teacher: What's your name?
Butthead: Joe
Teacher: Joe what?
Butthead: Joe Mama
Teacher: ha ha, that's funny. Humor is good. And what's your name?
Beavis: Jack
Teacher: Jack what?
Beavis: Jack uh...Jack Mama

[SmileyBoy]

23. Beavis: "Um, just for the record, even tho I know already...."

"...What does 'bisexual' mean??"
BH: "You dumbass!! You don't know what bisexual means??? It means he has TWO WIENERS, buttmunch!!!"
Beavis: "Um... But how does he take a leak if he's got two wieners??"
BH: "He just chooses which one."

[SmileyBoy]

25. "I come from Lake Titticaca!! Titti-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca..."

He then sang: "BUNG-HOOOOLLLLIII-OOOOO-OOOOOO-OOOO-OOOOOOO...." like a Gregorian chant.

[rppper]

26. Washin' the dog...Washin' the dog...(ie:breaking the law;judas priest)

"The future sucks. Change it."

"I'm pretty cool Beavis, but I cannot change the future."
Beavis & Butthead

another favorite...

[scarlet_owl]

27. "Damn, I'm smooth"

Or, "Hey baby, want to stroke my beard?"

[einsteins stein]

28. hhhu hhu hhuh...He said "extend" (nt)

[mkregel]

30. Their comment on the hair-farm band 'Nelson'

Dude those chicks look like GUYS!

[bbernardini]

31. The Todd Rundgren mention

Don't remember the exact wording, but they were watching a video, and one of them said somebody in it was Todd. I almost pissed myself.

[He loved Big Brother]

32. My favorite-

Butthead: "If you had a pile of suck, and a pile of this video, they would, like, be the same pile and stuff."

[Best_man23]

33. A quote I sometimes use to describe the Dumbya Administration

"This sucks worse than anything that has sucked before."

[AntiBushRepub]

34. What about..

When Stuart's mom went upstair with the thermometer to take Stuarts temperature when he was sick..

Butthead: She's gonna stick that thing up his butt.
Beavis: YHmmhh..Yeah!.. then she's gonna put it in his mouth!

[Zenaholic]

35. When they go to the mall with beards glued to their faces

...and some on their hands.
And they're following these girls around the mall trying to pick them up. And the one girl says something like, "Maybe if you'd stop wanking it, and grow up, I'd go out with you."

And Bevis says, "Heh heh. How'd she know we we wank it?"

[Zero Gravitas]

36. I don't like math

there's like too many numbers.

[davidinalameda]

37. I love Beavis and Butthead

Just wondering when they're gonna come out