Revised Patriot Act Will Make It Illegal To Read Patriot Act

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

Revised Patriot Act Will Make It Illegal To Read Patriot Act
WASHINGTON, DC—President Bush spoke out Monday in support of a revised version of the 2001 USA Patriot Act that would make it illegal to read the USA Patriot Act. "Under current federal law, there are unreasonable obstacles to investigating and prosecuting acts of terrorism, including the public's access to information...
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Yeah... The new Onion is out. :evilgrin:
http://www.theonion.com/3936/
It wouldn't surprise me though.

[indepat]

1. Does this mean citizens have no right to know anything

W says they haven't a right to know, that he'll decide? Being dictator is surely easier.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

3. I believe from this point, only prosecutors shall have access to

any legal publications published from this date on.

We will still be allowed to have a public defender, but for only an hour because more than that would be entitlement.

Trials may now be held by phone between the arresting officer and a Judge with an eight ball (not the drug).

Unreasonable search and seizure is the probing of body cavities without a Doctor present (who's fees will be paid for by the defendant.

[Oracle]

4. How long do these fucks expect to be in power?

a year and half/ 5 1/2 years or longer? Do these fascist plan to just run a dictatorship forever? And when King George retires in say twenty years, then in pops Jeb, then the twins...how about Jebs crackhead daughter?

Why all the bullshit? don't they know if there's another administration all that shit can be removed? Or does Tom Delay plan to hold Congress for the repukes indefinably?

[Emboldened Chimp]

2. Sad thing is

in this environment, this story is believable. Sad.