You've GOT to see this!

[Sean Reynolds]

Found this site (gasp if it's been posted before)!

This guy is ANTI-PORN, interracial marriages, pre-maridal sex, homosexuality, fetishes, abortion, etc.

Jesus Christ this is sick.

And to boot? He's an ugly ass senior.

http://www.spies.com/%7Egus/ran/0012/antiporn/

I myself would think someone THIS ugly would want to look at porn; cause he aint ever going to get laid.



Bet he posts over at freerepublic!

[Deja Q]

1. .

. Sorry.

:cry:

[roguevalley]

2. someone said he's a satire. I hope so, poor sod. :)

*

[Sean Reynolds]

3. heh, still ugly.

;-)

[BlueJazz]

4. You know, I read his entire web page and I ....

....must say....I normally am a peaceful man and much prefer to
think situations through and use intelligent logic and thought when assessing a situation.
So.....why do I just want to beat the living Shit out of this crazy son-of-a-bitch??

[scarlet_owl]

5. I feel so bad for this schmuck.

He's ignorant AND gross. I hope this is satire. Oh, and what the hell is that thing on the shelf in the left hand side of the picture?

[curse10]

6. Those curtains and window treatments are atrocious!

That's the real crime here. :puke:

[catpower2000]

9. ROFL...

I was thinking THE SAME THING.

Cat

[TrogL]

7. It's not satire

check out his links and the "fag" page, copied word for word from Fred Phelps.

[Fenris]

8. Well, as an unaccredited psychiatrist, allow me to opine

And please leave a reply, as this took longer than I thought and I can't really figure out why I wrote it.

Let me begin by "anal"yzing David's first stated opinion:

I want to ban pornography with a 10-year prison term for viewing or participating in pornography, as well as oral and anal sex with a 1-5 year prison term for oral sex and a 1-10 year term for anal sex. I also want to ban the manufacture and sale of contraceptives (birth control) with a prison term of up to 1 year in jail and/or a fine of up to $5,000 for violating this ban. None of these laws will be retroactive.

First off, under "King" David's law, I would be serving somewhere in the neighborhood of 8,000 consecutive life sentences (and that is a conservative estimate). Whilst I have yet to engage in anal sex (and God willing, someday I will), I have both viewed pornography (although not "participated" in it...again, God willing...) and performed oral sex as well as recieved oral sex. A lot. And while I am unclear of what Our Glorious Leader defines as "birth control" or "contraceptives," it is safe to assume, being a condom man myself, that I would owe somewhere in the region of, oh five or ten million dollars. A steep price to pay for a thin piece of latex, I'd say. But then I don't have the special relationship with God David does.

I also support a ban on interracial marriage. While I am not racist, I believe that God intends people to marry within their own race. Any and all interracial marriages currently licensed should immediately be annulled, with any children born to said couple, allowed only to marry with other children of interracial couples. All races ought to have equal opportunity in employment, pay, etc. Therefore, I believe that Affirmative Action is racist against white people and ought to be abolished.

I firmly believe that sex should be shared with your spouse and that there ought be be love between the married couple. However, man and wife ought to be of the same color as stated above.

Hey! you know who else banned interracial marriages? Hitler! And might I say, it worked out famously for him! And hey, this law permitting mixed race children to marry other mixed race children is perfect! Finally, I'll be able to find that special Chinese/Zambian/Jewish someone without having to deal with all that white riff-raff like David! And by the way, thanks for approving of "sex" and "love." Because no one else has ever thought of saying "sex is good" or "love is good" before! Well, no one said racially pure love and sex are good.

I am in favor of the death penalty for murder (including performing an abortion), attempted murder, rape, incest, pedophilia/child molestation, bestiality, necrophilia, transvestites, treason, spying against the state, espionage, drug dealing, vampirism, adultery, and armed robbery.

FINALLY! A despotic ruler who has come out against the powerful Vampire lobby! And look, without a complicated trial by jury, I won't have to wonder what punishment a criminal will get. Because it will be death!

I would really like to know how transvestites are on the same level as gang raping incest spawned murderers in David's America. I mean...transvestites?

I am also 100% against homosexuality and I believe homosexuals (including lesbians and bisexuals) as well as people with fetishes, ought to be put in mental hospitals. This must be done NOW, before they degenerate society and our children's morals even further. I also believe ANY children in the custody of homosexuals ought to be taken away IMMEDIATELY, in order to prevent further emotional and sexual abuse. DO NOT let your children near one of these vile monsters! Read the Fag Facts page to get more insight into the sexual habits of homosexuals and others of their ilk.

Well, hey, I'm for taking Rosie O'Donnel's kids away, but I think that qualifies as more of a personal vendetta.

I really like this idea of institutions for homosexuals. It would really take the search factor out of dating. How hard can it be to find your true love when he's right next to you in King David's forced labor camp...I mean institution? And believe me, David, I will read the "Fag Facts" page. Because cutely alliterating a vile message always makes me click the link.

I believe in a national dress code. The National Dress Code (NDC) will be as follows:

All persons must wear clothing from their neck to three inches below their knees when in public or in the presence of children.

Women MUST wear dresses. Trousers are NOT lady-like and therefore, women ought not to wear them.

Jeans are to be banned.

Any profanity or sexual references on clothing will be banned.

Businesses must comply with the NDC. Failure to do so will require business owners to sell their operation to the highest bidder.

Failure to obey the NDC will be subject to a fine NOT exceeding $10,000 and/or up to 30 days imprisonment.

Aw, now he wants to take my "Animal (Fuck Like A Beast)" T-shirt away?

I'm confused as to what a pice of clothing stretching from the neck to below the knees would look like. A giant sweatshirt, perhaps? Or maybe we should wear human-sized condoms.

Trousers aren't ladylike. Damn straight. It makes life suck for fat, ugly, obviously loveless guys like David and all of his shoe mirror clad bretheren.

You know, I like it when a despot starts throwing out rules with acronyms like NDC. Makes me feel safe.

I am completely in favor of banning the flawed and blasphemous Theory of Evolution from ever again being taught in public schools. It has paved the way for atheism to take root in this country. It has also lead to Kinsey's famous sexual "research" that lead to the sexual revolution. This, in turn, has contributed to the moral decay of America. God created man is his own image and we must never ever forsake His word. If we do, America will end up like Sodom and Gomorrah.

Point A: Yes, let's go back to telling boys that God made them out of dirt and telling girls that God made them out of some asshole's ribs. And by the way, girls, thanks for getting us thrown out of Eden.

Point B: I have no idea what logical pattern King David followed to link the theory of evolution to the Kinsey study.

Prison cells will be made smaller. I would set this to approximately 1/2 of their average current size.

Prisoners kept in their cells 24/7 (i.e. NEVER leaving their cell during incarceration).

Prisoners will only be fed bread and butter.

NO contact with ANY other human being during incarceration.

NO TV, medical care, or entertainment of any sort.

NO sunlight will penetrate a prison cell.

Disobedient or rebellious prisoners can be beaten by the guards as punishment.

ANY inmate that attempts to escape will be executed on site.

Yes, depriving prisoners of decent meals, sodomy, TV, medical care, sunlight and making them live in cramped cells twenty-four hours a day is totally the Christian thing to do. I recall Jesus saying something like that in Luke. Or maybe it was Mark. Or maybe it was something by Pat Robertson.

I am a firm believer in the Temperance movement.

Hey, we tried that one! No fair!

I support a total ban on tattooing. Tattooing is the desecration of one's own body and is indeed harmful. It often causes infections and can result in severe scarring and is very difficult to remove. Therefore, all tattooing ought to be banned as soon as possible.

I can see David lying in bed right now, his hand in a blasphemos location, fantasizing about that girl who sits in front of him with the Chinese character tattooed on the small of her back. And he's soiling his body! Jesus will not be happy.

I support implementing a Federal Anti-Vice Squad (FAVS) that will enforce all the morality laws enacted once fellow moralists are elected to high positions in government. The FAVS will have full search and seizure powers and will be able to, for example, demand a spare key from someone to search homes for pornography or tobacco, etc. The FAVS will also be responsible for enforcing the NDC with patrolling of streets and informants on the streets of America.

Iran has something like that. And come to think of it, so did Afghanistan. And EVERYONE was happy!

I enjoy politics. I hope to run for local office in the near future. If I am successful, I will likely run for higher office later on down the road. I will fight as a moralist. I will try to institute the above goals of mine to restore the traditional Judeo-Christian values that our Puritan forefathers founded the United States upon at Plymouth Rock.

You know how you can tell that the Puritans were batshit insane? They wore buckles on their hats. That's the kind of logic we need in this country.

I like to watch Benny Hinn's This is Your Day, The Hour of Power with Rev. Robert Schuller, The 700 Club, 60 Minutes, and C-SPAN.

My favorite Gospel songs are: Gimme That Old Time Religion (sung by Jack Scott) and Onward Christian Soldiers.

This is David. I am Fenris. One of us likes to listen to gospel songs and watch Benny Hinn. The other had lots of sex in high school. Like to guess which is which?

I'll give you a hint:



This person has a list of favorite Bible quotes on his personal anti-pornography website!

[scarlet_owl]

10. Check out the screen saver.

[mbartko]

13. Why Tigers Eat Their Young

"...While I am not racist, I believe that God intends people to marry within their own race." Or, in the case of our hero here, within their (sic) own not-so-extended family.

"I enjoy politics. I hope to run for local office in the near future." Please tell me by local, he means Mars or Jupiter.

"If I am successful, I will likely run for higher office later on down the road." At which point, the crusade is meaningless, since Hell will have frozen over.

"I will try to institute the above goals of mine to restore the traditional Judeo-Christian values that our Puritan forefathers founded the United States upon at Plymouth Rock." Neato! And you thought that the U.S. was founded in 1776. Nice of the Puritans to add the Judeo part of the tradition while Europe was kicking the crap out of Jews and the Puritans were being kicked out for being too extreme even for Europe.

Need justification? Take some revisionist history, add your own deranged thoughts that you confuse with God's, and poof! Instant kook.

[davsand]

11. We had a guy like this over at SenateSim.com

They finally gave up and banned him. If I'd not seen a photo of both the guys I'd swear it was one and the same.

As I recall, the guy at SenateSim called me a whore one night when I suggested that shrub had known 9/11 was coming. He also invited me to "****" myself. I always wondered, but never got the chance to ask, what those four astrisks stood for. I'd have thought a Godly guy like that would have not used language like that...

You could try asking this guy his opinion of what shrub knew and did he LIHOP. If he calls you a whore and suggests you should do something involving four punctuation marks to your self I think it might be a match.

Laura

[2bfree]

12. How sad.

This young man must have been abused as a child and must have a nut case Dad who hammered this crap into his head 24/7 or is picked on at school in some horrible way. Whatever happened to him to make him have this much hate in him must have been really bad. He even has a link posted that goes to his picture on uglypeople.com. He isn't ugly, just has terrible acne and a view of life that will eat him from the inside out.

[mbartko]

14. You're right

Wow, I feel bad about what I wrote now. You're absolutely right, this poor kid has some serious issues. Add to that his constant dosings of charletans like Benny Hinn, and this kid is in serious psychological trouble.