New Alerts - Serious........ NOT!! :-)

[moroni]

Viruses you should be aware of...

THE GEORGE BUSH Virus...
(Causes your computer to think it won the election, even though the
motherboard and fatherboard bought it.)

THE AL GORE Virus...
(Causes your computer to just keep counting.)

THE CLINTON Virus...
(Gives you a 7-Inch Hard Drive with NO memory.)

THE BOB DOLE (AKA: VIAGRA) virus...
(Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.)

THE RONALD REAGAN virus...
(Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.)

THE JESSE JACKSON virus...
(Warns you constantly about illegitimate file reproduction, while
illegitimately reproducing files in the background.)

THE MIKE TYSON virus...
(Quits after two bytes.)

THE OPRAH WINFREY virus...
(Your 300 mb hard drive shrinks to 100 mb, then slowly expands to
re-stabilize around 200mb.)

THE JACK KEVORKIAN virus...
(Deletes all old files.)

THE PROZAC virus...
(Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.)

THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus...
(Only attacks minor files.)

THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus...
(Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.)


And last but not least....

THE LORENA BOBBITT virus...
(Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through a Window.

[efhmc]

1. Welcome here. Cute post. Although many might not like the Clinton or

Gore references. You are much more confident than I. I didn't even know how to start a thread or that I could for about 500 or more posts. Again, welcome and keep threading.

[scarlet_owl]

2. Welcome, moroni!

:toast: :bounce:

[KCDem]

3. I once had a good floppy joke.

Can't remember it now, but I won't be able to sleep tonight because of it and may repost around 4 am. :mad:

[KCDem]

4. cool, I remembered!

What's the difference between a woman and a computer?

A woman won't accept a 3 1/2 inch floppy. :evilgrin:

Welcome to DU, Moroni!

[newyawker99]

5. Hi moroni!!

Welcome to DU!! :toast: