It's Time Again! STUPID CUSTOMERS!!!!

[WillParkinson]

Last night I had the RUDEST customers ever in the 17 years that I worked at the hotel.

The woman calls and orders, "A grilled caesar for two" and I ask, "So you want two Grilled Chicken Caesars?" and she says, "No, just one but bring an extra plate and silverware." Then she tells me to also bring "Extra bread rolls and butter and make sure the bread is really hot".

I sighed deeply.

I put the order together and took it to the room. I knock on the door. No answer. I knock again. No answer. I knock one more time and hear, "Just a minute."

So I wait.

And wait.

Finally I knock again. The guy comes to the door and says, "Oh, I'm sorry. We were watching a movie and it was just getting to the good part."

EXCUSE F*CKING ME????? You order food. We tell you within 30 minutes for delivery. So I have to stand outside while you WATCH A MOVIE? Meanwhile I've got 3 other orders on the elevator waiting to go up.

And you know what made it worse? He was watching it on his personal DVD setup (one of the big, expensive ones) which means he could have paused the stupid thing!

Another woman calls down and says she wants to order a cheeseburger. I ask her how she'd like it cooked. She says, "What do you mean 'cooked'?" I said, "Do you want it Medium, Medium-Well, Well done?" And she says "Oh, the biggest one you've got."

I swear I screamed at least 3 times last night.

[displacedtexan]

1. write this stuff down!

what a great book this would make!
i once had a student ask me how you say bon voyage in french.

[WillParkinson]

2. Well?

What was your answer?

[radfringe]

3. not a stupid customer story, but funny anyways

years ago, a friend, her 8 year old son and I went out to breakfast

The server came over to take our orders. My friend and I ordered, then the server turned to the 8-year old son

He ordered 2 eggs, toast, bacon and orange juice.

The server asked how he wanted his eggs. With a little bit of a confused and bewildered look on his face he said "Rare?"

[Uroboros]

4. Here's the best stupid customer story ever!

..at least the best that's ever happen to me. :)

Use to work at this graphic place once here in NYC. Woman sent us a layout job that would eventually be printed on a paper stock she had chosen. Before we went ahead with the job; I faxed her the lay out so that she could approve it.

Well she calls back and says that she likes the layout but that it's NOT ON THE PAPER SHE ASKED FOR. My jaw dropped. I guess she had no concept of how a fax machine worked and perhaps thought we used those fancy transporters from Star Trek.

Yes madam..I'll beam over that copy to you ASAP.

IDIOT!

In my current job I was recently asked to output a Powerpoint file but without any hard copy from the client. Instructors were that if the font was missing (because they didn't send it!); I was to replace with it something similar. Which of course is rather difficult since I have no idea what the font might look like without a hard copy!

Yes the customer is NOT always right.

[Booberdawg]

6. LOL!

heh - wasn't on the right paper :-) dumbfuck

[displacedtexan]

5. my latest adventure

printing and copying the directory for a small (250) nonprofit:
the secretary kept stalling because she hadn't maintained the database. her excuse: i need to know specifically which font and which format (msword; publisher; access; excel) you have to have.

i told her it just didn't matter. all she had to do was GIVE ME THE CORRECT DATA. i could make it look anyway the director wanted.
i never did get through to her; the director and i spent 2 days updating the database before i could print the directory.
it's beautiful, btw.

[Racenut20]

7. D*mn, U all reminded me it is almost Tax season again.

[baldguy]

8. Here's a few:

I currently work at a bank in NY. During the recent blackout many, many people called to ask if the ATMs were working.

My 911 stupid customer story: I worked at a mail-order computer company. Customer ordered on monday. He called Wednesday, when ALL air traffic was grounded indefinitely, and screamed at me to get his stuff to him the next day OR ELSE!

In college: I worked at a liquor store (and, yes I do have MANY stories!) Doing inventory on sunday, with a sign with four-inch letters on the front door: "CLOSED FOR INVENTORY". Plus liquor stores are normally closed on sunday.

Every ten minutes there was an illiterate idiot alcky knocking on the door.

[WillParkinson]

14. 9/11 package...

Did you hop on your bike and rush it to him at no extra charge? <People are...silly.>

[TreasonousBastard]

9. Vent freely...

with those who share your pain:

http://www.customerssuck.com/

http://www.geocities.com/waitstaffpage/sites.html
(beware the broken links)

Alas, "The Waiter's Revenge" and "Disgruntled." were great sites that have gone on to bit heaven.

[blondeatlast]

17. Those are great sites for anyone who has to deal with the public.

I work in a library and I see some really wierd stuff, too.

[BiggJawn]

10. So, the blue-collar ReTHUGlicans are in town?

The people formally known as Murkan Sheeple. The ones who carry cards that say "Suck IN. Blow OUT. Repeat."?

You SHOULD write these down for a book someday. Maybe a movie.

[Le Taz Hot]

11. Well, lemme see . . .

I've already related the story about the woman coming into the sheet music store asking for "the original cast recording of Handle's "Messiah" so I can't use that one.

OK, here's one. The music store in which I used to work had been a grocery store about 15 years ago. Lady walks in, wanders around with a quizzical look on her face, meanders through the tubas, guitars, drum sets, keyboards, etc. and finally reaches the sheet music section in the back. Finally, she spots me at the counter, walks over to me and asks, "Where's the milk?"

Honest-to-goddess true story.

[WillParkinson]

13. <SIGH>

You've got to wonder who ties these peoples shoes in the morning.

[Cheswick2.0]

12. Home Equity Loans

I worked for 9 months at fleet bank. My job was to help people get their home equity loan process completed.

One day a customer called who could only be approved for about 50k because he had a previous home eq loan with another bank that was for approx 90 percent of the value of his home. He wanted to know what that had to do with fleet since it was with another bank. He just could not understand that he could not have loans worth more than the value of his house.

[LynneSin]

15. My experience at the AT&T Wireless store last night

I was also a customer, but there were others there too and one was just annoying as hell. And since the salespeople couldn't do anything, I did something instead.

I had to buy a new cell phone yesterday. My old cell was just close to death and I had dropped it during the storm we had from Isabel this past Thursday night. The phone has been dropped plenty of time and the battery lasts for about an hour, so I figured it was easier to get a new phone than to try to get this old running again. I'm happy with ATT service and by extending my contract I got another phone for free (once I mail in the rebate of course).

Mind you, this is Friday night and most of Delaware was hit hard with the storm. I was shocked the store was open because that area (kirkwood) routinely loses power and/or floods during the storm. But they were open and doing business.

I was one of a few customers in there and another 2 walk in (looked like mother & daughter). There were 2 sales people. The older lady asked where all the female sales reps were in a very loud and obnoxious voice. To be honest, I saw a female rep leave just as I came in. I didn't think anything of the male:female ratio ESPECIALLY since it was a shocker the store was even open. I wanted to say something to the lady but just ignored her.

THEN she kept interuptting me with my salesperson. Mind you there was another salesperson helping her, but she kept bothering me to ask questions about my phone, AT&T service and why was I crazy to buy another phone like I had since the first once must have been junk since I'm replacing (she was also saying it loudly). I politely said that my phone was well over a year old and had been dropped many times and still worked and if it wasn't for my clutziness I wouldn't have to buy another phone.

But what made me yell out loud :mad: !!!!

When you came in the store there was a small sign "No Public Restrooms". I mean, it's an AT&T store (it's a stand alone) and personally I would never even think of asking to use their bathrooms. It's a highway with plenty of fastfood restaurants with bathrooms that I wouldn't even think of bugging for a bathroom. But then the lady starting screaming "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DON'T HAVE BATHROOMS FOR YOUR CUSTOMERS. THIS PLACE HAS HORRIBLE SERVICE AND I CAN'T BELIEVE ANYONE WOULD BUY HERE". Well, that pissed me off because I was a customer and I thought this lady was completely out of line. She was pissing off all the other customers in the store and so I yelled out "FOLKS, THESE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MORE THAN HELPFUL ESPECIALLY SINCE MOST OF THE STORES ON KIRKWOOD HIGHWAY SEEM TO BE CLOSED BECAUSE OF THE STORM" Then I went to the lady and suggested she try the restroom next door at Arby's if she really had to go because more retail stores don't normally provide public restrooms.

She left. However, the younger girl (her daugther stayed). About 20 minutes later the girl made her purchases and the woman came back.

[blondeatlast]

18. I think I can speak for anyone who has ever had to wait on

rude people when I say, LynneSin, THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF OUR WEARY HEARTS! People like you keep us going, you really do.

[Skittles]

16. I WAS PAGED AT 2 IN THE MORNING

When I called the number displayed, the guy talking sounded like he was in an echo chamber. I asked him where he was and he said IN THE BATHROOM; I'M SITTING ON THE TOILET. I hung up and he paged me back. I called him again and he answered the phone in that strange echo chamber. I hung up and I guess he either finished his business or got the point: next time he paged I called back and he was out of the bathroom.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

[ironflange]

19. My favorite story

Many, many, MANY years ago I took a job working the main restaurant & bar at the Calgary Stampede. Naturally, they had a band playing in there every night; a fairly average combo from somewhere in California, woohoo. After a few nights of this, one of the other temp workers, who was from Newfoundland, naturally, pulled me off to the side. He said, "You know, that band isn't very good. They just keep playing the same bunch of songs every night." I managed to keep a straight face as I gently explained some of the subtleties of the live music biz to the poor guy.

[Ellen Forradalom]

21. Something about Newfoundlanders?

Please, fill us south-of-the-border types in.

[ironflange]

24. Well,

some folk from outside Nfld tend to think of Newfies as being slightly dim.

I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize for my unkind remark; I've never had anything against Newfoundlanders. Except the dumb ones, but that can apply to anyone from anywhere.

There's an old joke:

What's black and blue and floats in the bay?

A mainlander who tells Newfie jokes.

[JohnyCanuck]

20. What do you mean you gave me knew spark plugs?

About 25 years ago I was working as a service advisor in a service station in a department store chain. A customer came in to pick up a car after leaving it for a tune up. When he saw the bill he hit the roof and told us we were ripping him off because we put new spark plugs in the car as part of the tuneup and he knew it didn't need new plugs because he had replaced them himself just two weeks ago. All we should have done was check and adjust the timing and maybe replace the points(this was before all cars had electronic ignitions). Anyway he walked up one side of me and down the other and said he was going to write a letter to head office and let them know he would never be bringing his car back to our shop again because we ran such a crooked operation.

I was really taken aback, because I knew our mechanics were pretty good guys and I was sure they wouldn't have replaced the parts if they didn't need them. This was just before closing up in the evening and all the mechanics had left for the day, so I couldn't even ask them for any details. Anyhow I tried to tell him as calmly as I could that we always left the old parts in the car, so he could pay the bill, check the trunk for the old parts and come back the next day and discuss with our shop foreman whether or not the plugs really needed replacing. If they didn't, I'd give him a refund. After giving me the gears a bit more he very grumpily paid the bill and stormed off out the door, muttering under his breath about how you can't trust anyone when it comes to car repairs and he would certainly be back the next day as he knew the plugs were almost brand knew.

About 3 minutes later he was back with a very sheepish look on his face to tell me that when he looked at the old parts he remembered that it was his wife's car in which he had changed the plugs, not his own car (the one that had the tune up), so we were quite correct in assesing that the plugs needed replacing. I guess I have to give him credit for coming back to apologise.

[DS1]

22. hehehe

I plan on leaving my current job in retail, and moving quickly into a new job as soon as it's formally offered. Needless to say, the usual 2 week notice courtesy probably won't be possible, so the first customer that fucks with me after I get an offer, accept it, and be assigned some hours, is going to get a berating from hell. The goal is to get fired.

/twiddles thumbs

[DS1]

23. maybe 'cheeseburger' is some sort of code

:evilgrin:

[Wcross]

25. I guess I will share a story

I was in school working side jobs. One time I was asked to clean up a closed corner gas station so the broker could show it to buyers. It was a good gig, paid 200 for a days work and a trip to the dump.

There were no signs up, the pumps were covered with plastic-no way anybody would think it was open. I was sweeping the lot and sure enough a car pulls up and stops at the pump. They start leaning on the horn when I didn't come over to pump the gas. I went over, and this guy acted like I was a pinhead because I wouldn't pump his gas! I told him the place had been closed for over a year, then he tells me that he needs gas! This is in the middle of the city- gas everywhere and he needs it from a closed gas station. Type a person talking to a stoner college dude! I told him to wait a minute, I got in my car and went to lunch. He was gone when I got back.

[radwriter0555]

26. I USED TO MAKE TINFOIL HATS! I wish I was kidding. Worked for a

small city in LA. We had any number of mentally fragile constituents who called in with any number of issues, ranging from freaky to insanely bizarre.

Had one little old lady who I made a tinfoil hat for, so that the cable company couldn't listen to her through her teevee.

Had one asshole who pretended to be an AIDS patient for years to engender sympathy and subsidies. He was obsessed with dog poop and the people who left it behind.

Had one OLD guy who was EXTREMELY concerned with his neighbor's turtle who would wander onto his side of the yard they shared. Couldn't we DO something about that?

One lady called in SCREAMING top of her lungs about the tree out front, OH THE HORROR it was TOO BIG. She was SCREAMING away, her husband wrestles the phone from her... I ask, "is she always like this?" he says "YES, what am I gonna do?" I say, "well I'm sorry, tell her I swore at you and hung up.." he says "yeah, I'll figure out something..."

Stella Lucetta. WHY didn't the city make her neighbors cut their tree so she could have a view? Threatened a code enforcement officer with a gun.

Had one CRAZY cat lady with 42 cats in a rented house.

[MisterP]

27. people don't leave dog poop behind, dogs do

just ensuring...