Dating advice

[TSIAS]

I never thought I'd be coming to DU to ask for this kind of advice, but here goes.

I'll preface by saying that I'm 20 years old and a college student.

There's this girl I like in my English Literature class. I'm rather inexperieced on the dating scene, and I suspect she is as well. We've talked casually for a month in class and I discovered that I kind of liked her.

We were having a test this week and she suggested that we get together and study. First, we went to this pizza place and got some lunch. Things were going pretty well. But when we got back to the school library and started studying, things got uncomfortable. Out of nowhere, she started talking about how lonely she was. I wasn't exactly sure to respond. In retrospect, I wish I would have been more helpful. I tried to respond the best I could, but I worry it wasn't adequate.

She cut the study session short. She told me she was sick, and I have reason to believe that was true. But she admitted to me that she was feeling nervous and fidgety.

I can't for the life of me figure out what happened. The fact that she would share a personal thing like that with me must bean something. Unfortunately, I'm not sure how to take it.

In another related question, one of my best friends told me that I should ask her out even if I'm not sure what the response will be. Other people have said that I should try to get closer with her and become "friends" and hope that leads somewhere.

I wish I could get a better read on people sometimes. It seems like this situation is full of contradictions. I see signs that shows she's interested, but then again I'm not entirely sure. I don't want to make a bad decision and make her uncomfortable.

Argh, the life of a 20 year-old. I'm sure I'll laugh at trials and tribulations like these ten years down the road.

-Taylor

[greatauntoftriplets]

1. Ah... Taylor....

I think she wanted you to suggest ways of making her less lonely.

Good luck with her.

[Fenris]

2. Make the first move.

I think you might be in the clear here. But you should act.:)

[flamingyouth]

3. She obviously felt like she could speak openly to you

You're a nice guy (I remember you well from the basement during primary season :D). She might now feel awkward that she divulged this info to you. That's my take on it.

It sounds trite, but just continue to be yourself and be nice to her. I would act on it. :hi:

[RagingInMiami]

4. I think she likes you

and was telling you she was available. But when she saw that you did not respond right away, she probably got embarrassed and left.
But what the hell do I know? I'm 36 and I'm still trying to figure women out.

[JanMichael]

5. Dude just ask her out. The "friends" ploy at this point is wasting time.

And perhaps opportunity.

Plus you're a nice guy anyway, she'll probably say yes, and if not that's just one more experience to get you more confidant to go after the next girl.

Good luck!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

6. Ask her to go for a cup of coffee

or something casual...take it slow...

[Fleshdancer]

7. sounds like she wanted to ask you out but got too nervous

It doesn't hurt to take it slow. Next time tell her you really enjoyed lunch and then ask her for coffee or lunch again. If she agrees, you'll know she wants to spend more time with you and there's not as much pressure on you because it's not like a full fledge date.

If that goes well, then ask her out on a date. :) Good luck!

[THUNDER HANDS]

8. ask if you can borrow some paper clips

trust me, works like a charm! :D

[SmokingJacket]

9. Forget the "friends" thing.

That only works if you're already in her crowd -- you need to take action.

Be forthright: ask her out on a date.

You sound nice. Go for it!

[cally]

10. Ask her to a movie

I think she was wanting a date and you didn't respond. So just ask her. Good luck. I agree with others..you are a nice guy and deserve the best.

[AngryAmish]

11. Never get stuck being "just friends"

especially if you like her. You end up following her around like an idiot. However, if she has good looking friends, than she can be a useful bridge to them.

[underpants]

12. They truly are strange creatures-hard to understand

I'd go along with how you are going along. If it happens it happens BE COOL

A nice dinner after the test would go a long way-if you can afford it.

Oh BTW-she's sounds vulnerable-don't take advantage of that just yet............but know that you can-see that was terrible but don't be surprised or hurt if someone else does and then you have that whole consoling thing in front of you.

[Exultant Democracy]

13. Dude, ask her out.

Always always make a move. This isn't just advice about girls, it is about life.

[Scrooge]

14. Ask her out.

Just go see a movie or something. Make it feel like a friends thing, and go from there. If she leans into you when you talk, and laughs at all your jokes even if they arent all that funny..well then she has the hots for you. Keep it on a friendly basis, but do go to a movie and a walk or something afterwards.

goodluck!

[warrens]

15. Just be upfront and ask her out

And take it from me, if she says no, she will suddenly email you or something. She didn't choose you for a study friend by accident.

Girls obsess far more than we do. They have a lot more pressure, like being called a slut by their friends, even if they are only kidding. Call a guy a slut and he laughs. The worst thing that happens is she really means no, but it looks like she likes you but is uptight. A few years ago, she was probably a gangly teenager who nobody looked at, and she is even more nervous than you.

[ScreamingMeemie]

16. Taylor! I've missed you. Be careful. Ask her out to dinner or for a walk.

On the one hand she may be a keg ready to explode. Or, she may just be nervous and not sure how to act with you. Spend a little bit more "friend" time and see if you can get a read...Good luck! It's great to see you. :hi:

[TSIAS]

17. Hey there

I'm going to see if she wants to do lunch tomorrow after class.

Btw, who'd have thought the Packers would be having a better season than my Dolphins? :cry:

:hi:

[Poiuyt]

18. Don't be too much of a friend

You don't want her thinking of you as the brotherly type.

[bettyellen]

19. yep, she likes you and went out on a limb... she wants a relationship, so

try to respect that, she said she was lonely. So if you're in it for more than a roll in the hay, go for it. for sure. But Taylor, nobody/no situation out there is a sure thing, so stop wishing for it. That, you just have to get used to.

[RiffRandell]

20. Ask her out once more when "she's feeling better:"

I think she was sick, (all of my family was sick this week, too) but if she blows you off after that, ditch her, and save your self respect.