Tell me who would actually believe this story.

[SemiCharmedQuark]

My husband's boss (who is a complete asshole by the way, but that is besides the point) keeps insisting up and down that this story is true. But then, he insists Reagan was a good president and Sadaam had weapons of mass destruction.

OK so here is the story:

A small white woman (notice how he even puts the race in for you...ugh) is housesitting for some family friends that have a Great Dane. This is over Thanksgiving, by the way. The dog dies so she calls animal control to pick it up. They say they will not pick it up because she is deep in the city (Chicago), but if she brings it to them, they will dispose of it. The dog weighs 150 pounds (woah, right). Since she can't carry it any other way, she puts the dog in a suitcase and takes it on the El (??) to get to animal control. Anyway, while she is sitting there, a big black man (he actually put that in there, I shit you not) sits next to her and starts talking to her. He asks her what is in the suitcase (Because you never see people with suitcases on the El, right?) and she just says "nothing". The El stops and the guy takes the bag and runs off. That's right. He RUNS off the freaking El dragging a 150 suitcase somehow. What's better, that he is able to easily run with 150 pound suitcase or that he can get off the El so freaking quickly.

I cannot believe how many people were believing this bullshit story. And it pisses me off ESPECIALLY that it throws race in there like that is supposed to make it more plausible.

[SmileyBoy]

1. What exactly is the point the person telling this story trying to make???

Don't trust the "darkies"???

:shrug:

[NightTrain]

2. I grew up around people who would gladly believe that bullshit story.

Thankfully, I got over that mentality myself some years ago.

[Philostopher]

14. Like when Lionel Richie told his doberman

to stop sniffing the white lady's butt on the elevator in Las Vegas, and he said "Lady! Get down!" the white woman dropped on her stomach in the elevator, and then Lionel offered to pay her hotel bill for the rest of her stay.

That's the one the mouth-breathers I went to high school with loved to tell, over and over. And over.

This one sounds approximately as legit.

[LisaLynne]

3. I believe that is an urban legend. nt

[CornField]

4. LMAO!

I'm crying because I'm laughing so hard. Your comments were cracking me up.

There is an El in Chicago -- it's the commuter train. I've only ridden on it a couple of times and I don't recall seeing anyone with a suitcase, but I wasn't really looking either.

I'm having trouble visualizing a suitcase large enough to hold a 150 pound great dane.

[DrZeeLit]

6. Me, too. I'm squinting at the screen thinking... MORANS!! All..... n/t

[liberalhistorian]

10. Exactly!

Great Danes are HUGE animals, there is simply no way that one could even begin to fit in a suitcase, at least not any suitcase I've ever seen. Of course, it doesn't matter since the story is pure urban legend bullshit.

[SmokingJacket]

5. It's TOTALLY an urban legend.

Look at the books of Jan Brunvand. Urban legends are full of dead dobermans and race issues.

[asthmaticeog]

7. snopes is your friend.

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/gruesome/deadcat.htm

[SemiCharmedQuark]

8. No, see, that's the best part. I pointed him to Snopes, but he still

insists that it is real. This is because "a cat is totally different".

[asthmaticeog]

9. Wow, then he's a TOTAL fuckwit.

[alphafemale]

19. "Urban Legend" books - Racism, death and pets are key in many stories

"Choking Doberman" "Sit/Down Whitey" "Mexican Pet"
etc. etc.

[Hans Delbrook]

11. Kind of ot but..

It's funny because I actually used to bring a dead cat on public transportation (commuter rail line here in Philadelphia.)

I'm not crazy or in a cult it's just that it was a cadaver we dissected for anatomy class. I used to take the train home every w/e and I needed to bring my cat home so I could study. I had it in a small black plastic bag but I was always afraid some one would ask, "So, what's in the bag?" And I would have to reply, "Dead cat. Wanna' see?" I always figured I would at least get a bench seat to myself, at lest until they kicked my ass off at the next stop.

[The Doctor.]

13. We kept our pigs at the lab, and we only got one cadaver per class.

But I remeber the time I brought the cadaver home on the green line in Boston....

[Hans Delbrook]

15. You mean, like..

...human cadaver? This story I gotta' hear.

[The Doctor.]

16. Well... We had just got done with a lab....

and I asked Prof. Malloy (no relation) if this subject's hypothalamus would bear similarities in density to Bertha's (my lab sow) given that both of them had become Cambridge Property only two months ago and in accordance with our reclamation proceedures. (died around the same time).

Seeing as how both subjects were stored similarly, I reasoned that it would be worth noting that a human hypothalamus was either more or less dense than that of a pig. (Kind of like system bus in a computer)

I had no problem extracting the gland from Bertha earlier, but Prof. Malloy insisted that the lab was vacant that weekend - don't ask me to go into detail, but the physics guy at the time spent alot of time doing 'research' with Prof. Malloy.

So, with a demeanor of abject non-chalance, I told the prof. that I had a friend with a refrigerated truck and an absolute certainty that this extraction could be pulled off in just a couple of hours with Mr. Doe returned no later than the next morning.

He bought it.

I had lied.

You see, it was January, an I knew that it wouldn't be difficult to keep the 'subject' cool using the Green line because it ran out above the Charles - no prob.

It also worked because I had a friend (Marilyn was a theatre major and ... quite 'pliable' :evilgrin: ) Who provided me with the accoutrements from the prop room I needed.

So, with 'Mr. Doe' Heavily bundled in winter garb and mounted upright in a wheelchair (borrowed from the forensics lab... yes, the forensics lab...) I made the way with my 'ill father' to the green line.

All was going very well. I knew I could have that specimen out in a relatively short time (I had a 3500 rpm bone saw I 'borrowed').

But, while on the train, just after going over the Charles, a woman who had been looking strangely at the both of us suddenly said, "Henry?... Henry?... Where have you been?!!"

It took me a few seconds to realize she was speaking DIRECTLY to 'Mr. Doe'.

She stood up almost as fast as I did, luckily I caught her attention so that the others on the train weren't looking at my cadaver-in-a-wheelchair.

I said, "This is my father, he is very ill from Chemotherapy - I don't know who you are but you are disturbing him."

She stood shocked for a moment and then regained herself, "THAT is my husband, Henry! And I don't know WHO the hell you are!"

At that moment the train stopped and I said, "Is this your stop?" to the woman.

We stared at each-other for an interminable moment... her eyes were like burning saphires.
(I thought that was of consequence given that "Mr. Doe's" eyes were blue too.)

Then I heard the bell indicating the doors were about to slam shut.
I Grabbed the handles of the wheelchair and bolted for the door.

She stood shocked, she never caught me.

As it turned out; the hypothalamus had the EXACT same density...

Darn.


How's that?

[Hans Delbrook]

17. I can't breathe for laughing

Even if you're having me on - it was worth it.

[The Doctor.]

18. *Takes a Bow* ...ty (but the stories I have from My tenure......)

[The Doctor.]

12. The simple solution is to do a

"dramatic reenactment"

Tell your Husband's boss you'd love to see that and see if he starts doing the physics.

Probably not though- reality doesn't enter into these people's brains.