PRAZE JEEBUS! I HAVE ARRIVED!!!!!!!

[Runcible Spoon]

I'd just like to pray to the Lord and His shepherds of mercy, including:

Pat Robertson! Who has a NEW diet book out! I thought the original title "Jeezus Die(te)d for your Sins" was better, but anywho!




Yes folks, I thanks everyone at the 700 Club for accepting me into this righteous flock!


***disclaimer*** YES I KNOW this has been done umteen million times but I worked SOOOO hard to get to 700 posts let me have a little fun! And this was not meant to deride or degrade the beliefs of all decent liberal Christians who truly follow the teachings of Jesus and don't watch Robertson and his ilk or listen to their hate-filled, bigoted vitriol!

[Runcible Spoon]

1. someone respond dammit!

post on my thread or I'll find out where you live and sign you up to receive lifelong phone calls and mailings from Jesus of Latter Day Saints Church!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Obviousman]

2. i love the original name

funniest thing ive heard all day

[Runcible Spoon]

3. Praze you, brother Obviousman!

thanks for checking in! just think, only 465 more posts and you too can join our sacred flock!

[Runcible Spoon]

4. kicking again!

my book title joke was FUNNY DAMMIT

[progressoid]

5. I can see it now

Pat's doing some serious prayin on the TV and starts getting the vibe from God and says, "There is a couple in Kansas that have an eating disorder. This is causing you great distress. I feel the spirit of the Lord moving through you. You can feel the Spirit telling you to shed a couple pounds. God wants you to pick up the phone and order 'Pat's Weightloss Challenge'. Praise Jayzuz!!"

"Oh, yeah, and God says you should get one for your tubby cousin too."

[Runcible Spoon]

6. snarf!

They can have exorcisms, where the Devil has to be chased out because Twinkies are the minions of SATAN!

[progressoid]

8. Evil Hostess

ON a related note; I had a great-uncle that called all-you-can eat buffets sinful. Gluttony you know.

[CornField]

7. My Brother

I knew the Lord was keeping around the 700 fold for some reason known only to Him. I was not to question... but now His reasoning is clear. I was kept in this place of the most lowly so that I could welcome ye unto our fold.

[Runcible Spoon]

9. Praze you, brother Cornfield.

we have the Lord's work to do in this den of heathens!

[CornField]

11. Uhmm... Sister CornField

But don't you fret about it... I'm just searching around this mighty cyber house of worship for an exit.

[Runcible Spoon]

12. yeah, uhh, it's also sister Farceofnature!

;)

[CornField]

13. You'd think the boobs would give us away.

LMAO!

[RevolutionaryActs]

10. "Jeezus Die(te)d for your Sins" LOL! omg I cant breathe!

So damn funny!

[Runcible Spoon]

14. Pat's Workout DVD:

On the DVD:
"Pat's Weight Loss Challenge Eating Plan
Pat's Weight Loss Upper Body Workout
Pat's Weight Loss Lower Body Workout
Pat Answers Your Weight Loss Questions
Exercise Along with Your 25 Minute Fat-Burning, Weight Loss Workout with Kristi Watts"

http://www.cbn.com/special/weightlossDVDpremium/index.asp

Pat...Robertson's...sexy...upper..lower..body...model of...Christian...physical perfection...DROOOOLLL!

[Runcible Spoon]

15. kick for the witching hour crew!

HELP get me OUT of the 700 club!!!

[Book Lover]

16. The woman on the box cover does NOT look happy

I swear, Pat looks like he's scolding her!

[Runcible Spoon]

17. well she WASNT doing her exercise in the most righteous way!

how could she hope to get a ripped bod like Pat's if she mocks God by exercising wrong?

[Runcible Spoon]

18. KICK

halfway there!

[umtalal]

19. Is he telling us to go ahead and puke??? n/t

[Runcible Spoon]

22. may the Lord give you strength

to do whatever it takes to get a ripped righteous bod like Pat's!

[elperromagico]

20. Well, the title "Cookin' In The Kitchen With Jesus" was taken.

Is there a recipe for John the Baptist Locusts in the book?

[Runcible Spoon]

21. just a chapter on how Catholics always char the body of Christ

when grilling at improper temperatures