DU Fantasy thread - HEyHEY sees Tucker Carlson at the mall what does he do

[HEyHEY]

?

Yo tell the story!

[Rabrrrrrr]

1. HEyHEy grabs the chick working the sunglasses kiosk and

rips off her fake fingernails and rips the gum out of her mouth and makes a sea urchin like sculpture out of it and shoves it up Tucker's ass then goes over to the "Mementos" kiosk and pushes the faux-entrepreneur in the monogrammed polo shirt working there out of the way and uses his engraver machine to carve "Shitless cocknob WunderFuck" on his forehead before launching his now passed-out body into the PretzelTime counter and forcing uncooked pretzel dough down his throat until he asphyxiates. Then he walks over to Circus Time, or whatever equivalent cheap-ass fake children's toy store there is, and puts his foot into the $6.50-an-hour-earning Assembly of God attending "manager's" face, and kicking "I voted to have my income reduced because wallowing in my own shit is preferable to giving rights to nonwhites and gays" into his stomach for disregarding his own interests and electing Shrubbie McFuckNuts.

[HEyHEY]

3. Love the use of kiosks

[Kali]

12. great writing

even though I don't watch tv or know who the guy really is - I'm learning from DU!

[Rabrrrrrr]

15. Thanks!

Of course I hate Shrubbie McCokeSpoon more than anyone, but my hatred of the ignorant shitknockers who work at and hang out at malls is pretty close.

:P

[glarius]

2. Here's what I suggested a little earlier tonight!

Don't you think it would be a good idea?....hahaha
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=2122316

[HEyHEY]

5. Not just any shit...French Canadian shit!

The kind French Seps would throw on Drapeau in the 70s!

;-)

Not sure if you saw my post in GD but I heard the whole Parrish thing and...yeah she did kick ass.

[glarius]

8. Ya...and yet there was Tucker again today....right back at it with the

insults to Canadians....He is the most obnoxious person on CNN....or any other station...

[HEyHEY]

10. What did he say?

[glarius]

13. I can't remember exactly.....he was really saying the same sort of things

he said before....That Canada is nothing without the USA...and we are pathetic....stuff like that....I was so mad I couldn't really register everything he was saying....The trouble was the guy speaking for Canada (don't know who he was) wasn't very quick on the draw....

[Rabrrrrrr]

11. Don't say "ya", say "oui"

:-)

[HEyHEY]

14. D'Accord!

[WindRavenX]

4. It goes as following

HEyHEY decapitates Tucker Carlson with one fell swoop with his razor-edged hockey stick.
Then he and the rest of the sane world goes out for Canadian beer and chicken wings.

[HEyHEY]

6. MM CHicken wings

I'd eat Carlson brains...but they have no substance

[WindRavenX]

7. Yeah not a smart move

You'd probably get "mad dumbass disease" from that man's brains...ick.
Actually, buffalo wings sounds mighty tasty now :9

[Ima]

16. ROTFLMAO

"mad dumbass disease"

[roguevalley]

9. pee on him.

[hunter]

17. HeyHey flips the poor old man a loonie...

Tucker Carlson says, "Bless you sir! For an additional twenty cents I'll give you a blowjob too."

HeyHey laughs, takes out his cellphone and calls the immigration police.

Tucker Carlson is deported to a slave camp in Iowa and spends the rest of his life adulterating cans of generic USDA approved "potted meat products" with dead rats and floor sweepings.

[JVS]

18. Buys him some beers, gets him drunk, drowns him in toilet, goes home