What's the most bizarre thing that you ever believed about sex?

[madison2000]

Now that we're bringing back "abstinence education"...

I remember reading some sort of menstruation literature in which they mentioned having an "accident"... and I wondered if I was more vulnerable to being in a car accident during my period!

I also remember that when I got my first period my mother said "now don't do anything to embarrass me" and I thought she meant like "Don't bleed all over the couch" or something!

[northzax]

1. er, that someone would have it with me?

really, I thought it would happen once upon a time.

[Arkana]

67. That's funny

Right now, I'm working on them coming within 10 feet and not screaming in horror. :P

[ET Awful]

2. That I could get any :) n/t

[northzax]

4. Ha, beat you!

you must work on that clicker finger, grasshopper. :)

[ewagner]

3. Rember being terribly

confused when I was very young, over a statement about a "piece of a$$"....spent hours and hours trying to figure that out....

[UncleSepp]

6. My dad used to have the same confusion!

He told me he used to wonder what anyone would do with a piece of someone's a**. Put it on a jar on their desk, maybe?

[retread]

41. I still have trouble with that one!

*

[Beware the Beast Man]

5. When I was wee little, I had a hard time reading between the lines

when my Mom gave me "the talk." I thought that if your got real close to the right person, that's how you made a baby.

[madison2000]

10. Well, I believe that the abstinence program is teaching

something close to that- that you can get pregnant by "touching genitals".

[ContraBass Black]

85. Yes, I thought it was just by sleeping beside each other,

And I wondered how sperm could fly before I found out about the physcal contact part.

The term "sleeping together" is misleading.

[Demit]

7. that it would naturally be good with someone you loved. Hahahaha!

Not.

[meegbear]

8. When I was a kid, we had a large medical book

and a section had color plates showing the body. A couple of them showed the cross-section of a woman with different stages of a child growing in the womb.

Before understanding sex, I thought that women just "had them"; the baby just grew inside and she gave birth.

[illflem]

9. When I was in first grade

the classmate who told me about where babies come from said the man peed inside the women. I had a hard time for several years believing that babies came from piss.

[ET Awful]

13. I had a classmate tell me that too . . .

I immediately went and looked it up in an encyclopedia myself to verify (I wasn't about to believe I came from urine :))

[Beaverhausen]

15. I thought that too. I can't believe I'm not the only one!

[sniffa]

11. i remember seeing my first vagina

at a very young age, and thinking, "hey, her's didn't grow yet" and it made sense, since she was a year younger than me.

sometime Later i saw a different vagina and that's when it hit me that boys were different from girLs (this girL was oLder, so it shattered my "penis hasn't grown yet theory").

i chewed over this for a whiLe (it reaLLy bLew my mind) over the differences between us and i finaLLy figured out that my thingie must go inside that sLit.

then i thought of my parents and how they were different, and the concLusion i drew was that that's how babies were made. not the mechanics of it aLL, just stick it in and a baby is made.

i think i was Like 6 or 7 maybe. my chiLdhood kinda runs together.

[Modem Butterfly]

22. My brother thought I'd broken mine

It's true. Mom used to bathe us together and apparently I wanted to touch what my brother had that was different. He covered it with his hands and said, "No, you broke yours,"

[DrWeird]

12. I remember wondering if butt sex was physiological possible.

Turns out it is.

[bicentennial_baby]

40. Thankfully

Sorry, just the freak in me peeking out today!

[The empressof all]

14. The belly button belief

When I was very young I thought that babies were born out of a womans belly. Her belly button would magically open up, and the kid would pop out.

[Endangered Specie]

24. Isn't that a C-section?

;)

[bobthedrummer]

75. I was sure it had something to do with navels and "seeds" too when I was

about 10.

[NoSheep]

16. I believed that I would "Never, ever do THAT!" n/t

[koopie57]

17. I was a teenager

and couldn't figure out what a rubber was and how it would work. One day this kids eraser broke off his pencil and he said "opps, lost my rubber" and everyone laughed. So for a long time I thought a rubber was like a pencil eraser and the guy popped in on/in somehow. Then I couldn't figure out how it stayed in there when he came. When I found out what they really were I couldn't believe it.

Gee, I was awfully niave. I think, looking back, that it is not right not to be up front with these kids. They are curious and it is a big part of their lives with all the hormones raging.

[Red State Rebel]

48. My daughter thought you got pregnant every time you had sex

I didn't discourage that misinformation but one day her brother heard her say something that indicated her belief and told her otherwise. I could have smacked him! hahaha!!!

[bobweaver]

18. When I was 5 years old

I thought that all dogs were boys and all cats were girls

[Steely_Dan]

37. So did I...

It still makes sense to me today.

-Paige

[Sequoia]

19. That I would go to hell for sex before marriage

Fundie suff ya know.

[Beer Snob-50]

20. i dated a girl

and she thought there was a chance that she could get pregnant from mutual masterbation. she was late one month and blamed it on me even though we had never had intercourse yet (she was a freshmen in college at the time.)

[movie_girl99]

21. i've got a classic one for ya

I know better but my idiotic, retarded freep-mole headed boss is under the impression that you have to orgasm to get pregnant. The man is 50 years old and considers himself to have been a "stud" in HS. What a fucking moron.

[DulceDecorum]

25. So then, tell us please,

how many times has his wife had an orgasm?
How many times has ANY woman he slept with had an orgasm?

No wonder these poeple are obsessed with Clinton's penis......

[movie_girl99]

34. he has 3 kids so I'd guess 3

I'm not sure why we were on the topic ...i think it had something to do with getting pregnant and fertility drugs. Jesus, i couldn't believe it. Oh yeah and this is the same guy who doesn't drink...except for margaritas..WTF???!!

[Tess49]

69. I know a woman who thinks that, or at least she did.

The problem is that she slept with two men -- became pregnant by one and assumed for twenty years that the child was the son of Guy A who she had an orgasm with, and not Guy B who she didn't have one with. Imagine the look on her face when I explained things to her!

[ContraBass Black]

87. I don't think I would tell her.

[Elidor]

23. I believed it would make me happy & clear up zits

And that I would be transformed from an irritable misanthrope to a zen master possessed of a preternatural calm.

[madison2000]

26. well the zits cleared up eventually didn't they?

And a girl's breasts grow bigger if she lets a boy touch them, don't they?

[masaka___]

89. Ha.

> And a girl's breasts grow bigger if she lets a boy touch them, don't they?

There's only one way to find out... ;-)

[Endangered Specie]

27. It took a little while for me to realize you had to go back and forth...

They always talked about insertion, but they never really did mention the whole in and out thrusting part. Silly? Well, they never did describe that you had to 'oscillate' in order to get anything done. and besides, most PG-13 movies where they are supposed to be screwing they arent rocking back and forth, (unlike in the 'dirtier' movies)

[retread]

44. Wait a minute!! You have to 'oscillate'!! Damn!! No wonder!

*

[madison2000]

28. A man can tell if a girl is a virgin by the way she walks

and brushes up against things.

This, from a guy who is now my brother-in-law. :grr:

[BiggJawn]

29. That i would meet a wonderful woman and do it every night...

...for the rest of my life.

SUCKER!!!!!!!!!
:cry:

[stupid grin]

30. When my boyfriend wanted to do it "doggy style"

in high school, I thought it was anal sex. I didn't realize you could get it in there from that position.

[progressiveBadger]

39. I had a girlfriend who thought that same thing

I never was able to convince her... she wasn't very adventurous.

[Jessica]

31. In my early adolescent years,

my loving mother told me I would lose my virginity if I used tampons. And I believed her. Fool me once, Mom ... x(

[arwalden]

32. That Old People Didn't Do It... And That My Parents Had Only Done It Twice

[MountainLaurel]

33. Thought "pregnant" was a dirty word

Because someone, when I was a small spud, told me not to say pregnant, but to say "having a baby."

But a good friend of mine thought until college that if you had sex in a hot tub, the girl couldn't get pregnant because it would boil the sperm. Catholic school boy, but one who grew up living above his father's bar, so you'd think he would have gotten the info early on.

[NewJeffCT]

35. when i first heard the words 'blow job'

When I first heard somebody use "blow job" in connection with a penis, I couldn't figure out what the big deal was about somebody blowing on your penis...

Was I naive or what?

[koopie57]

59. I didn't know what a blow job was neither

and I was out with this guy and I just wanted to go home cuz he turned out to be a real ass. He said he would take me home if I would give him a blow job and I thought how bad could that be. The next thing I know ... I knew what a blow job was. No one was more surprised than I, but it only took a second or two and I was on my way home.

[madison2000]

68. a second or two!

[koopie57]

72. *LOL*

actually all it took was a little, uhm, well, wind *blush*. We were in still in high school.

[bif]

36. I truly thought I discovered "Phoning the Czar."

And that it was a new body fluid no one ever knew about before.

[Tess49]

81. Where did that expression come from?

[BareskinMatt]

38. That it started more love than it ended.

Love can die from mistletoe as well as it can thrive.

[pagerbear]

42. I had a voice teacher who said....

that sex improves one's singing of Puccini. I never found out, since Puccini isn't really right for my voice.

[leftofthedial]

43. that after we got married

we could have all the sex we wanted

[buddhamama]

46. you mean, it's not true!?

as good a reason as any not to get married ;-)

[retread]

47. Catch the word we?

*

[buddhamama]

51. yeah, i did

and your point would be...?

[retread]

52. It wasn't-- we could have all the sex I wanted.

*

[ElectroPrincess]

45. That I could catch

"the cooties!!" (no joke) from a yucky 4th grade classmate if he touched me.

[ChickMagic]

49. That I would lay an egg like a chicken

I wouldn't leave the bathroom because I was afraid it would fall out and break on the floor and embarrass me. My mom wouldn't go outside while she was pregnant because, "People would know what she'd done." Sure, she was married. Hell, I didn't know what she'd done.

[Texasgal]

50. My father once told me, when I was young that

I could get pregnant by sitting on a mans lap in a wet bathing suit! Scared the shit outta me for years!

[trackfan]

53. I had a great deal of confusion about terms

I thought "fucking" meant only butt-fucking, whereas "screwing" referred to vaginal sex; I couldn't figure out what a "blow job" was.

That was in grammar school. In high school, I had a girlfriend who thought an erection contained an actual bone, and that's why it was called a "boner". My wife says she also believed this into her 20's!

[madison2000]

54. I once believed men knew more about sex than women

:shrug:

[jackelope72]

55. I used to think that bisexuals...

only liked to have sex with two people--one of each gender--at the same time. I used to think that a bisexual's life was one big long string of three-ways.

Then I got out of high school and actually met a few, who quickly corrected my false thinking.

[madison2000]

57. and what did you think of people who are bilingual?

:loveya: :loveya:

[Goathead]

56. That some women's vaginas were sideways.

It was in elementary school and these kids told me that women from the Far East(not the term they used) had sideways vaginas.

[Tess49]

71. My mother tod me that! I couldn't figure it out.

[Goathead]

77. It was just rascist B.S.

[Bunny]

58. When I was in fifth grade, I heard that boys got "boners".

I thought it meant that an actual bone came out of their weiners! :+

[Liberaltarian]

60. that women would have no interest/wouldn't enjoy anal sex...

but i've found quite the contrary to be true, and a lot of the time, they're the ones who initiate it.

[hyphenate]

61. Well, not so bizarre

But I remember when I was given a lot about the "talk" that for the better part of the next couple of months, I tended to stare at the crotches of TV characters constantly. Come to think of it, I still do. :evilgrin:

[Magrittes Pipe]

62. That pregnancy or venereal disease could be spread via intercourse.

What a naive child I was! :D

[tigereye]

78. that's funny Al

yours is the only one of these responses that doesn't seem based on silly or misinformation.

[shain from kane]

63. puppy dogs

When I was a little boy, I asked my dad what those two dogs were doing in the park, and my dad said that they were making puppies.
Later that same night, when I got up to get a drink of water, I heard noises coming from my mom and dad's bedroom. I opened the door, and asked my parents what they were doing. My dad began stuttering, and finally said that they were making a baby sister. I started crying, and told mom to turn over, since I would rather have a puppy.

[battleknight24]

92. OMG... I just want to let you know...

... that is the funniest shit I have heard in years... I cannot stop laughing...

I've been really stressed out over the passed few days... with final exams and all (I'm in college)... but this really took the edge off...

[Longgrain]

64. Not me,

but I knew one guy in college who insisted that as a child he thought that all cats we female, and once asked his dad, "If all cats are girls how can they have babies?"

Must have been a very interesting conversation for a little boy.

[SarahB]

65. That being loud in bed isn't a good thing.

:eyes:

[confusionisnext]

66. I used to think that Mommies pooped out their babies.

Made me scared when mom used to sit on the can when she was pregnant with my younger brother.

[CanuckAmok]

70. That is's ever "free".

mmmm...bitter.

[Hillaryin08]

73. that i could get pregnant in a swimming pool

if i pulled my suit to the side.

[foxy]

74. Hmm..first period in fourth period..

how embarrassing is that? :(

[DrWeird]

80. Huh. I didn't even know what periods were in the 4th grade.

But then I was a boy and hadn't been given that talk yet. Did you know what was going on or was it a real Stephen King's "Carrie" type experience?

[madison2000]

83. I remember my girlfriend telling me that boys had periods too

but they only happened at night...very mysterious!
:freak:

[Schema Thing]

76. Girls have girl babies, and boys have boy babies

Actually, I don't really think I truly believed that; I think it was just humorous to me to see people's reactions to me saying that as a kid. Then again, I may have believed it. *shrug*

[AlFrankenFan]

79. That it took a day to have it n/t

[jayctravis]

82. When my Dad first explained it...

my initial impression was that somehow an entire testicle was supposed to pass through the urethra out the penis and into a woman's body. Needless to say I was a little mystified about why anyone had babies for a while.

[Borgnine]

90. Hah, I used to think that too.

Nobody really explained the whole concept of semen to me. I wasn't aware that I would eventually produce something other than urine out of my penis, and I thought the testicle somehow came out, went for a ride into the woman, and then returned.

[hunter]

84. I am sad. I missed out on all of that.

My mom was so straightforward about sex it was embarassing. I remember walking in on my parents when I was four or five, and they were not under the covers, it was more like... well nevermind... you can find pictures on the internet if you type in the right words.

My mom said, "Oh, sorry honey, we didn't notice you. We're having sex." My dad just stayed right where he was, frozen, and looking sort of goofy. Then he explained that it is always polite to knock whenever a door is closed.

By the time I was interested in sex I pretty much knew everything. My mom even had books with pictures.

And, oh yeah, my parents always knock, and I certainly did after that.

My wife's father is a straightforward medical professional, and he is the one in her family who explained the "birds and the bees" to his kids. My wife, as a young adolescent, remembers teasing her mom by asking her what she knew about sex, because her mom never talked about sex. Her mom got all flustered and said, "Um, um, its... fun" and swiftly changed the subject to blissful marriage.

The scariest thing about my mom is that she made me and my brothers promise that if our girlfriends ever got pregnant and we couldn't take care of the babies ourselves, than we should bring them home to her, and she would raise them as her own. We all knew how that would be... she'd make us change the diapers, make us get real jobs, and then she'd be the grand martyr. "My doofus son, he knocked up his girlfriend, but honestly now, don't I have the most beautiful grandchildren????!!!"

Once you were about ten years old in our house you learned how to take care of babies, it didn't matter whose babies they were, if there happened to be babies in the house, you were expected to take care of them. There were always babies in our house.

Also my mom and some of her friends were rather militant breastfeeders. If a baby was hungry, they'd pull up their shirts. As a teenager I couldn't think about nipples without thinking about babies. Okay, there's a nipple, soon to be attached to a fussy baby or toddler.

So I was terrified of girls in high school, and whenever I happened to be making out with a young woman in college (maybe once or twice in the bushes behind the school parking lots, and yes, I'm offering this as a lame excuse to someone who might recognize me here...) I was always measuring up the risks.

[Baja Margie]

86. When I was a little girl,

I thought ALL cats were girls and ALL dogs were boys.

[fleabert]

88. That every woman had their period on the same days of the month,

until I read 'are you there god, it's me margaret' and she got laughed at for thinking it. I felt really stupid.

[Borgnine]

91. I used to think something was wrong with my penis.

When I would get an erection at three or four years of age, I was mystified. I had figured out it was the result of seeing an attractive woman, but I had no idea why. I thought I had a freak penis.

[Neoma]

93. before i even knew about sex

someone explained to me 'well if you have sex you get a disease'
half true actually. but i still had no idea what sex was or even how you do it.
i even thought that you have sex by kissing,but that was before i knew reproducing was attached to sex.

i figured everything about it on my own(never had 'the talk'),it took years so i had all sorts of weird ideas about it.

[RagingInMiami]

94. bump

[madison2000]

95. Isn't it great that we're going to be teaching abstinence in the schools?

So that kids will be totally misinformed in addition to being totally confused?!

[Courtesy Flush]

96. I thought sex was a myth

I was a kid in the sixties, so there was nothing overt about sex on TV (at least, not on the two channels we had). All I knew about sex was what the kids at school told me. I thought it was a joke, and that people couldn't really do stuff like that.

Boy, am I glad I was wrong.