I just went completely off on my family : I feel FREE now ...

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

Ok here is the deal . I work a 2nd shift job which involves me standing on my feet for 8 1/2 hours ... but when I get home the work does not end there . I get home at around 1:30 am but there is more work to do when I get there because no one knows what the word " clean up " means . I constantly had to come home from work to dirty dishes , actual knives used to spread mayo or butter just left on the cabinet , to all the food completely eaten : pure laziness . I sit stuff to the side for me to quickly eat when I get home but its always gone . But the real drama is the things that occur when I get back into my room . Coffee cups left on the floor , sometimes kicked over leaving stains . Plates left on my bookshelf - they won't even use the big sack of paper plates or plastic cups ! Both my mom and little brother do these things : which a shame . I understand my mom is tired from her work too but still , how would she react if someone did these things .

And then there is my computer . Nearly every night I get back home and cut on my computer and I see my 11 year old brother has used my computer ; instead of just going to Start->Shut Down , he just completely hits the switch to my power supply and pulling it out the wall - this leads to a slow death for the hard drive . This has happened ever single week ! This is not the family computer , this is a computer that I bought with my money . But I tried to share , that did not work . Sometimes I have to do computer CPR for 10 minutes for it to boot up again . It happened again last night along with everything else and I just went off , I got sick of it and all the stuff that my mom and my little brother does while I am at work . While I am yelling at him about my computer I plainly told him " If you can't follow simple shut down instructions then you are not to touch my computer . " I tried to be nice letting him use my computer but enough is enough . But of course while I am telling him this , she is always calling my name first like I am wrong . I spend at least 75% of my day before going to work in the evenings cleaning up the house , washing dishes , washing clothes - I have zero time for myself . When I was 9 years old , I had to have the dishes washed in the house or all hell breaks loose . But my little brother does absolutely nothing at 11 years old . NOTHING AT ALL ! Not a thing . I am so sick of cleaning up after everything while working hard each night , I can only take care of myself . And every cent that I earn I don't spend - it goes straight to the bank for safe keeping and for my own place , and once again everyone always comes with their hands out for money , no matter how good I make because I am 24 years old and I am trying to make it along with going to school - would'nt you want your 24 year old to do want to make it while working AND going to school at the time time ? Now was I wrong for reacting the way I did ? I am just tired ... I never get any rest because I spend more time straighting up cleaning than working on myself ... sigh ... Thanks for reading this if you did , I just had to vent ...

[Metatron]

1. Good for you for sticking up for yourself.

I hope things change for the better. :)

[SaintAnne]

2. have some hugs

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: I don't think you acted wrong, but that's little old me.

[nickgutierrez]

3. Good for you.

No, you weren't wrong at all. You had every right to say what you said, IMO. :)

[jody]

4. You should consider using a password on your computer to prevent

others from using it.

Don't get discouraged and give up on school. That's your ticket to the future and don't let others hold you back. Recommend you make study for college courses a top priority and cleaning up behind others dead last.

:hi:

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

5. It was already password protected from the start ...

But I put another one on there . Don't worry I am not going to give up on school ;)

[faithnotgreed]

8. the password isnt a bad idea

if youve communicated kindly to mother and brother about these things and your brother still is abusing the computer privilege, you have every right to have and communicate boundaries. its not always the parent that sets and enforces rules, sometimes the child ends up in a situation where the parent (and siblings) need to hear some hard truths too!

i wish you well in dealing the best you can and setting boundaries. it sounds like youve been communicating in a pretty mature way which is a lot more than some people of any age can say, so i commend you on that. communication and limits are hard for many so i hope youll continue with those. its hard i know but its important for everyone, and this is clearly a situation that you can practice those skills you seem to have

best wishes and stay kind and strong.

[Dzimbowicz]

6. Right On !

You were absolutely correct.

:hug:

[China_cat]

7. Two suggestions

One might be too expensive for now...move.

Barring that, a good stout padlock for your door. And as you get a bit of extra money, get yourself a small refrigerator (about $60) and a little microwave (can find them for about $35). Lock up what's yours.

You're working, you're paying rent (if not in cash, in housework, laundry etc), you deserve some privacy and respect for things you've worked hard for.

Your family needs a lot more than you gave them.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

9. Thanks for the suggestions ...

But I am moving in the beginning of 2005 . I just got back in the country in May 2004 so it was too soon to move into my own place . But I am moving ;)

[hiley]

10. How about

a lock for your bedroom door since you are 24 ? That is what I would do (as the Mother of 4 adult children) that would help with your computer anyhow and you need it for school so maybe your Mom will understand. Good Luck !

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

11. I am pretty iffy about a padlock ...

because what if there is a fire and etc , escape route and stuff . I must be paranoid ...

But there is a lock on the door , I lock it , it gets picked . Mind you I do try lol .

[StrongbadTehAwesome]

12. wow, I feel your pain

:hug: I lived at home in much the same situation until I moved out at 21. I'm happy you won't have to put up with that much longer! You will like your family members a lot better when you move, trust me.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

13. Thanks :)

I have actually lived away from them on another continent ( Europe ) but they still found ways to bug me .

[SharonAnn]

14. Sometimes when you set boundaries you have to YELL to be heard.

It's ok! It's not you, it's their hearing.

I have found that life is a lot smoother since my family knows that I just won't take their **** any more. It took a while to train them, once I finally realized that I was being taken serious advantage of, but I was firm about it.

And then, after I moved out, if they got out of line when I was visiting, I just got up, got my things, and left.

If they misbehavewhile they're visiting me, I just go get their things, hand them to them, and say good-bye while I walk them to the door.

Is it hard? At first, but then it gets much easier. And after a while, they learned to respect my boundaries, at least most of the time.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

16. I understand exactly what you mean ...

Its just that sometimes I think its weird because I am telling them something they ( especially my mom ) should already know .

[ronnykmarshall]

15. You. Go. GIRL!

Your little brother sounds like a little shit!

I know what it's like to work swing and have to come home to shit like this.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

18. LMAO ! Thanks lol :)

Its just that he think he is " BillyBadA-- " , thats what I told him . Its indeed true . We were raised totally differently . I can see that now . He started to piss me off when I was watching something on Bravo and he made a deragotory statement and I corrected him and told him never to say that word again . " But oh , he only a child ... " - that does not make it right you know like WTF sometimes . I am listening to some George Gershwin right now , I am fine ;)

[rock]

17. I did (read it).

That's OK. Just hang in there. Rant on!

[Champ]

19. You weren't wrong

You needed to react the way you did for your sake. If you would've held it in the frustration just would've built. You needed to do this to release the frustration and so your family knows exactly what you've been going through. Never be afraid to speak your mind openly to anyone. It appears that you're in a rough situation and hope for the best for you