OK. You are God, and you've been watching the United States.

[Arkana]

Understandably, you're a very pissed-off supreme being. What do you do?

[da_chimperor]

1. Smite the red states with fire and brimstone

aftter giving all the blue residents ample time to flee. :D

[brainshrub]

2. Grant the conservatives all their wishes.

Then sit back and watch them implode.

[Mojambo]

3. If you're God

I think you're probably watching Desperate Housewives like everyone else...

[Arkana]

8. In the words of the farting pelicans from "Finding Nemo,"

"Nice."

[Deja Q]

4. I am not God. It would be wrong for me to suggest what God would do.

[brainshrub]

5. Another idea: Make the rapture actually happen, but only rapture Gays.

[NC_Nurse]

6. Shake my head and

change the channel.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

7. I would make a statement saying :

" You are not under me . "

[Zensea]

9. take the long view

just like I always do

[alvis]

10. Tell the funidies that the atheists had it right

That should really mess with their heads.

:evilgrin:

[The Straight Story]

11. Let it roll, as usual

God is like a parent in some ways talking to kids - don't go out in the street without looking both ways, you could get hit. Now some kids do it and get away ok, but others....

There was practical advice given - and if we don't heed it we might be ok, but chances are against us. What does God do with us? Leave us to our own devices (and the rest of mankind) as we will surely kill ourselves.

Reminds me of physics a little - the further we part ourselves from god the less force he exerts in our world. The less he exerts, the more we do - and taking a look at history, mankind does not have a good record. And now we have WMD on hand the globe over. Not going to be pretty...

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

12. The Mother shall

be doing some things that will make everyone very unhappy-I see global warming triggering wild weather, the cessession of the Gulf Stream, etc. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if She didn't stamp her feet around New Madrid, triggering off a 8.5 or more earthquake in the heartland. Some shamen have said there will be drastic earth changes happening in the next few years. Hope you are living in a place that is considered relatively safe.

[LynzM]

13. Issue a memo

Reminding 'Christians' what I said about not killing, about loving thy neighbors, and helping those who are less fortunate. The Onion did a great satire piece on this a while ago... hopefully someone has the link!

[masaka___]

19. Here's a google link

http://www.google.com/search?q=god+onion+clarifies

I don't know if the original is on the Onion's main site, but a bunch of people have saved local copies of it.

[Arkana]

23. Didn't Jesus tell Dubya

"I don't mind the slayin' if you keep on prayin'?"

[u4ic]

14. Begin the rapture.

Then hang a sign outside heaven that says "Gays Only".

[Arkana]

18. I was thinking more, "You must have voted BOTH Al Gore and John Kerry

to enter."

[Ready4Change]

15. Hit 2000's screw up state with 4 hurricanes and...

Oh, wait...

[CarbonDate]

16. Tear down the veil....

...between the physical and spiritual realms, thus making witches the most powerful beings on earth.

Hey, you asked what *I* would do....

[Obviousman]

17. Well, I'm not God, but here's what I want to do

I want to get 4 horses and paint them the colors of the horses of the apocalypse. The get some people to dress up in scary clothes and run the horses through some conservative alabama or mississippi town. There's no doubt in my mind they would think the rapture is coming.

[Menshevik]

22. lol

let me know if you need any help with that project...

[Hillaryin08]

33. I would come down to the bushes

Set them ablaze and announce that Jesus is a gay man and I am a woman. And man are we pissed.

[Malocchio]

20. Hey, if I were God

I'd probably have something better to worry about, like the Platypus Mark II

[MichiganVote]

21. Uh...include an 8th day in Genesis?

[Calvinist Basset]

24. I'd give certain people/groups the compulsion to be brutally honest.

And to make them declare their best-kept secrets in international broadcasts, news interviews, etc.

George Bush
Dick Cheney
Karl Rove
Donald Rumsfeld
Condi Rice
Tom Ridge
Diebold executives/workers
ES&S executives and workers
The News Media

Then, I think I'd screw with GWB while in the middle of a TV broadcast--make him shout obscenities, fart uncontrollably, moon the cameras, confess to being a bed-wetting booger eater.

[Arkana]

26. Make him do that thing Bruce did to the news anchor in "Bruce Almighty."

You know, make him speak gibberish.

Oh, wait...that wouldn't sound much different, would it?

[Her Blondness]

25. Smite the Chimp!

Maybe a lighting bolt on the golf course to fry his arrogant ass.

[Lady Effingbroke]

29. "watch this drive!"....ZZZAP!

:evilgrin:

[Her Blondness]

34. LOL!!

:evilgrin:

[Spider Jerusalem]

27. Change the channel.

They have better programming in Europe, anyway.

[UpsideDownFlag]

28. take all the fundies home. nt

[lumberingbear]

30. I don't know about God...

but this country is racking up bad karma bigtime.

It sure scares me! :scared:

[AlFrankenFan]

31. I send a thunderbolt or something and put them out of their misery n/t

[bigmonkey]

32. Remember what Jefferson said.

"I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just; that his justice cannot sleep forever."

[StopTheMorans]

35. give myself x-ray vision, and look at all of the pretty girls who walk by

:evilgrin:

[underpants]

36. Hurricanes. Vaolcanoes. Floods.

to start

[ze_dscherman]

37. Rapture the warmongers right to Fallujah

Make repukes live in third world poverty. Make their kids liberal, open minded people - preferably gay. Change their skin color to black.

Increase their intelligence, social awareness and emotional maturity. Force all the media whores, religious leaders and politicians to only speak the truth.