I just completely confused a fundie!

[Bat Boy]

Just a moment ago there was a knock on my door. Two young women are there from the Hammond Baptist Church and they are inordinately concerned about where I'm going to go when I die. Here's where I short circuited their mental process.

"Do you know for sure you're going to heaven when you die?"

"Yes. Without a doubt."

"How do you know?"

"I have a coupon."

I watched all thought drain out of her head and she stared at me like a confused Irish Setter.

I went back inside and shut the door.

[Lavender Brown]

1. Perfect! Lol

:thumbsup:

[RevolutionaryActs]

2. ROFL!! OH thats the best!! Can I use that sometime?

PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :D

[Bat Boy]

5. I give it to you. Royalty free.

[Zomby Woof]

3. you're a genius

No way around it. I am naming my next deposit after you.

[Bat Boy]

8. I have no response to that.

Seriously. I've been trying to come up with one. Nothing.

[Occulus]

9. I have a response :)

"Would that be from the store, or the manufacturer? Because store coupons usually expire..."

Heh.

[arwalden]

12. Your Next Deposit of WHAT?

That's the question we're all concerned about! :hi:

[DS1]

4. stolen!!!!!

:bounce:

[Bat Boy]

7. Did I steal this?

I do that sometimes, without really knowing.

If I did, let me know. I have to know.

[DS1]

10. no, I just stole it from you for future use

;-)

[Bat Boy]

11. Oh good.

My comic integrity remains intact.

I always worry about that.

[DS1]

13. my humor knows no such integrity

;-)

[amber dog democrat]

6. NICE response.

Lately I have been stating I am working on being my OWN Christ instead of following somebody elses. I am not much of a joiner anyway.

[WindRavenX]

14. FUCKING BRILLIANT!!!

Bat Boy, you are my personal god now.
:yourock:

[Bat Boy]

15. Cool!

If you want to get into my heaven I'll send you a coupon...

[GOPisEvil]

16. You should actually print one up!

Show it to them, and ask why they don't have theirs.

[Kali]

19. heh now that is a good idea too

some creative type needs to make coupons for all us DU heretics hahahaha

[Bat Boy]

22. Excellent idea!

I have to frump one up...

[Spinzonner]

17. Apparently you exceeded their programming

[blondeatlast]

18. Oh, that's a good one!

As a Christian who has serious doubts about the existence of heaven and/or hell (especially hell), I LOVE your answer!

[Susang]

20. He really did say this to the poor girls

It was sort of my fault. I was the one who told him there was somebody at the door and to go see who it was. She didn't look like a bible thumper from the upstairs window, I swear! My fundie-dar must really be on the fritz. :-(

Of course, this isn't the first time he's done this to religious canvassers. He has a long and rich history of messing with their heads when they try to convert him, the little devil. }(

[Bat Boy]

21. A mind is a terrible thing to waste...

Why not bat it around like a cat toy?

[Ms_Mary]

23. I have to hand it to you, that's funny. nt

[Taverner]

24. OMG I fell out of my chair laughing

Hilarious!

[blondeatlast]

25. Is it an A, B, C, D, or E ticket?

I won't explain, there have to be other DUers out there as old as I am!

[Bat Boy]

26. Gratuitous self kick..

I'm just too damn proud of this...

[blue neen]

27. Well, you should be proud.

That answer is priceless! :)

[Ferrets Bueller]

28. That's too good...

I've see the "irish setter" look. Theres nothing funnier.

[BattyDem]

29. ROFLMAO! That's brilliant ... absolutely brilliant!

:toast:

[Goathead]

30. Does not compute!

LMAO! Did their hair start to catch fire due to a short circuit and their heads tilt to one side?

[Bat Boy]

31. I did smell smoke.

Or was that brimstone?:evilgrin:

[Philostopher]

32. Wow, you know -- that's brilliant.

My aunt used to invite the Jehova's Witnesses into her kitchen and read the bible to them. I don't think she was particularly devout, but by golly she knew the bible well enough to baffle a JW, and she got an enormous charge out of making them all wobbly. She'd usually pour herself a cup of coffee, light up a Kent and start flipping through the bible like she was a Master of Divinity.

I like it, but there's no way I could deliver it without laughing. Congrats -- that's one of the better ones I've heard in a while.