favorite homer simpson quote

[datasuspect]

"trying is the first step on the road to failure"

[Deja Q]

1. D'Oh!

Seems to be my fave... :D

Of course, when Homer tells a gaggle of attacking crows "Hey, that's not a worm!", I cracked up all the same. :D

[Katherine2]

9. Me, a missionary?

But I don't even believe in Jebus.

[furrylitldevil]

2. Just because I don't CARE

doesn't mean I don't UNDERSTAND

[datasuspect]

3. "we obey the laws of thermodynamics in this house!"

[furrylitldevil]

7. I'm the Magical Man, from Happy Land

in a Gum Drop House on Lollypop Laaaaaaane.

[datasuspect]

8. this is KFSL - K-Fossil

where we play all the classic hits from abba to zeppelin comma led

(say it in cheesy radio voice)

[furrylitldevil]

12. (To Lisa)

"So you're a vegitarian? That means you can't eat ham?"

"No."

"You can't eat bacon?"

"No."

"You can't eat porkchops?"

"Daaaad, those all come from the same animal!"

"Oh sure Lisa. Some great 'magical animal'"

[datasuspect]

16. "purple's a fruit" n/t

[furrylitldevil]

21. "Oh no! Now my pudding's trapped forever."

[datasuspect]

25. homer praying

"Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever... thy will be done."

[furrylitldevil]

26. "okay pie, I'm just going to start biting air, like this"

(chomps down on air)

"and if you get eaten, it's your own fault."

[datasuspect]

28. "okay brain i hate you and you hate me

but help with this one thing so i can go back to killing you with beer."

[furrylitldevil]

31. "So you can sit there, eating can after can of dogfood

until your tears smell enough like dogfood that your dog comes back, or you can go out there and get your dog back!"

(Bart) "You're right, thanks dad!"

"Owwww, I almost had him eatin' dogfood."

[datasuspect]

34. fatherly advice

"Lisa, if the Bible has taught us anything - and it hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as foxy boxing, hot oil wrestling, and such and such"

[furrylitldevil]

36. "Guns are tools, just like alligators and Eskimos"

[datasuspect]

37. "Hey, Apu,

got any of those Kettle chips that give you diareah? I need to do a little spring cleaning"

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

11. Oh, I'm making people happy!

[Beware the Beast Man]

4. "Weaseling out of things is important to learn.

It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel."

[Fenris]

"Women will like what I tell them to like, sweetie."

[elperromagico]

5. "To be loved, you have to be nice to others, every day;

"but to be hated, you don't have to do squat!"

[skygazer]

6. Mmmmm..... floor pie....

Said when he caught sight of a piece of pie either Bart or Lisa had left on the floor as a trap for him.

[datasuspect]

15. "mmmm . . . organized crime"

[Longgrain]

47. Mmmmm....

Anything.

[Left Is Write]

22. That's my favorite too.

[Goathead]

10. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably.

The lesson is, never try.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

13. Welcome to Dumpsville, baby! Population: You!

[Feathered Fish]

14. Is the poop deck really what I think it's for?

OR

Is poopoo one word or two?

[donheld]

17. Whoooa, that's hot.

There isn't a man alive who wouldn't get turned on by that. Well, goodbye!

[Goathead]

18. O.K. one more

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation.

[sakabatou]

19. Mine

America's health care system is second only to Japan... Canada, Sweden, Great Britain... well, all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!

Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless

Awww, 20 dollars?!? I wanted a peanut!

Dear Homer, IOU one emergency donut. Signed Homer. Bastard! He's always one step ahead!

[datasuspect]

20. "old people don't need companionship

they need to be isolated and studied to see what useful nutrients we can get from them."

[paula777]

23. Ah, alcohol … the cause and solution to lifes problems

[CornField]

24. But I'm so sweet and tasty

When his head was turned into a donut and Marge caught him picking at himself.

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

27. mmmm carmel bologna

Apu mentioned something about that Karma bologna... to which Homer responded....

[datasuspect]

29. "mmmm . . . free goo"

[ET Awful]

30. It's time to do what American's do best. . .

ACT UNILATERALLY (while stuck in a round-about in London) :).

"I think he's talking to you." (to FBI agent while being trained for witness protection program)

[ET Awful]

33. In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get

the WOMEN!

[FlyByNight]

32. "Does whiskey count as beer?"

:-)

[Hotler]

35. Where do you think you're ....

going wiener boy! and, Uummmmm beer!

[Anarcho-Socialist]

38. Homer's JFK assassination theory

"Oswald killed Kennedy so he could steal the Jack Ruby."
Marge: "Jack Ruby was a person, Homer."
"Awwwww, and I was so close."

[Anarcho-Socialist]

39. Homer trying to use reverse psychology

Homer: "Hey son, can I help you build your soap box racer"
Bart: "No that's OK Dad."
Homer's Brain: "Don't you get it? You need to use reverse psychology."
Homer: "Oh, I don't know..."
Homer's Brain: "All right! Don't use reverse psychology."
Homer: "Alright then I will!"

[RagingInMiami]

40. "Why you little ......"

(Strangling Bart)

[Adenoid_Hynkel]

41. "That's not the wallet inspector!"

and
"you're not the only one who can abuse a non-profit organization"
---after countering bart's big brother (voiced by phil hartman) by applying for and receiving a little brother named pepe

also:
Homer: "no beer and no tv make homer something something"
Marge: "go crazy?"
Homer: "Don't mind if I do!"

and
"I am evil Hom-er! I am evil Hom-er!"

[KDLarsen]

42. A classic..

"I am smart, I am smart, S-M-R-T, I mean, S-M-A-R-T".

Or, as sung to the tune of the Flintstones theme:

"Simpson, Homer Simpson, he's the greatest guy in historyyy.. From the, town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree... uaaarhh d'ooh!"

[NC_Nurse]

43. "5 days?!!?"

"But I'm mad now! (when told of the waiting period for getting a gun)."

"I love God. He's my favorite fictional character."

[ironflange]

44. Marge, it takes two people to tell a lie.

One to tell it, and one to listen.

[baba]

45. "MMMMM....Sacrilicious!"

After eating the waffle stuck to the ceiling that he originally thought was God.

[Anarcho-Socialist]

46. Homer campaigning for Sanitation Commisioner

Homer is driving in his car, accompanied by Bart. There is a megaphone hooked up in the vehicle

Bart: "Vote for my Dad, otherwise... he'll beat me."
Homer: "WHY you little..."
(Homer pauses, realizes he is heard over the speaker)
Homer: "Er... no one's going to beat you, son."
Homer (voice muffled but still audible over the speaker): "You're gonna get such a beating".

[UpsideDownFlag]

48. I'm giving up all rum based cocktails....except for Mojitos and Rum $ Coke

lol

[Jessica]

49. "Hello? Operator! Give me the number for 911!"

And ... "Ooh, I love your magazine. Especially the 'Enrich Your Wordpower' section. I think it's really...really... really...good."

There are just sooo many...