To all you men who answer "Nothing" when asked of what they are thinking

[GoddessOfGuinness]

I know, women should accept the fact that you're thinking of nothing.
But it wouldn't kill you to come up with a clever response to the question, "What are you thinking about?"

Here are some ideas:

"I'm thinking about how (insert complimentary adjective here) you are."

"I'm noticing how your (face, hair, soft skin) glows in the moonlight."

"I'm not thinking about anything, I'm just enjoying the wonderful way you feel when you're in my arms like this."

"I'm thinking I'm the luckiest guy in the world."

or how about

"I'm thinking about how I want you to be as happy as I am." and massage her neck....

[AwakeAtLast]

1. Printing this post for my husband right now.....

Thanks! :)

[GoddessOfGuinness]

26. Good luck!

Don't know if it'll help; but it oughtta bring a laugh at least. :)

[Niccolo_Macchiavelli]

2. I was thinking

How wonderful that silence und the stars is

If i should finally abandon M$ and swap linux on my computer and if so use Suse, Debian or Mandrake

i was wondering when you'd notice the spider crawling up your shoulder

asked myself if i should ask you if it was ok to ask you to have some great sex in the grassplain under the crescent moon

nothing i'd want to burden your mind with (a sure follow up baiter)

[GoddessOfGuinness]

7. Ah, so you're a guy who enjoys torturing the woman he "loves"

Tsk, tsk... :spank:

[Niccolo_Macchiavelli]

24. no... i use to be nice

but there are moments i get mean
:evilgrin:

i tell it depending on what i really was thinking and if i feel like sharing it. Case by case decision.

and besides: the women close enough to me that would dare asking my such an intimate question would know me that much to know i might just say something silly and respond with an equal sharp tongue

[Spinzonner]

3. The second choice answer is

Sex

Or, do you prefer lies ?

[GoddessOfGuinness]

10. Lies, of course...

Lovingly concocted.

Not that sex is a bad answer; but you might want to modify it:

"Sex with the most incredible lover on Earth", making sure she knows you're talking about HER.

[Spinzonner]

32. What planet did you say you were from ?

[SOteric]

4. Do you want your man

to focus on honesty, or to focus on flattery? 'Cuz I promise you, they're not always going to be the same thing. :shrug:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

11. Both!

What's wrong with that?

[Mabus]

5. I wish....

I get the whole unadulterated truth when I ask that question of my husband. Although I will admit I've actually enjoyed some of the answers he's given me. For example, one of my favorties, "I was just wondering how much a fart weighed." Unfortunately that time my brother was around and answered "three ounces." Ever since then, I hear (often from another room) "there goes another three!" And yes, men do think about sex quite a bit.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

12. Oh my god

Our husband's a bigamist! ;)

[Mabus]

58. LOL

I am NOT alone in this universe. LOL.

[RagingInMiami]

6. In other words ....

You want us to respond like a woman instead of a man.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

13. See post 8

[Solly Mack]

8. When my husband says "Nothing"..I always say

"Good. Let me tell you what to think."

[GoddessOfGuinness]

15. Well done!

:yourock:

[RagingInMiami]

16. What is it about women that have to change the man they're with?

Men generally choose a woman as their mate that they do not wish to change.

[Solly Mack]

18. Oh, piffle! Glad my husband has a better sense of humor than you

[RagingInMiami]

28. How do you know I'm not joking?

I've been asking that question for years, knowing I will never get an answer.
But yet, I still find myself loving women for just being women.

[Solly Mack]

30. Well, OK.

I grew up with a brother...I entered marriage knowing there was no hope of change in men. :)...so I don't bother.

[RagingInMiami]

35. And we can't change women either

But that's the beauty of them.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

29. Then they must accept that the woman may want to

change them, right? ;)

[RagingInMiami]

36. We already do

If a woman doesn't want to make us a better man -- and I speak for myself here -- then we believe they don't really care.
But seriously, sometimes women go overboard.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

40. "sometimes women go overboard"

Men have been thinking that ever since Og.

[RagingInMiami]

45. And it still hasn't stopped women

[tigereye]

61. actually I think that you can't help but change each other

even without intending to. And I like to know what my husband is thinking.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

62. No doubt that we change...

But do we change each other, or do we change ourselves out of love and respect for each other?

I'd like to think it's the latter, but I don't know...

[Rabrrrrrr]

66. I think it's more the latter

and perhaps a bit of the former, done subtly over time.

But attempts to FORCE a change pretty much never works.

The wsomen who like to say "Once I marry him, I can fix him"

Ain't gonna happen.

Bill Hicks did a great routine on that, with Satan not even being able to stand up to a woman determined change him.

"Hey - Satan - is that you mowing the lawn?"

"Shut up!"

"You're not the Prince of Darkness, you're Pussy-whipped of Darkness!"

"Shut up!"

[dolo amber]

71. Aaaaahhhhhahahahahaha!!

God I miss Bill Hicks. :7

[tigereye]

73. me too!

hysterical, that guy.

[tigereye]

72. I think it is both!

[Rabrrrrrr]

9. Or just be honest:

"I was thinking that my penis is, like, so totally awesome, ain't it? I mean, wow, that was incredible. I amaze myself. And I was also wondering if there might be a way to attach the remote to a cord from the ceiling with a voice activated hydraulic arm that I can say 'remote' and it just comes down to me wherever it is, which makes me think, why can't we have two tvs in the tv room? I mean, sometimes there's more than one thing to watch, right? And I'm hungry - man, laying here is fine and all, but I could go for a hamburger. Which reminds me, probably time to check the oil in the car. And also, you know, if we had a fridge in the bedroom, I could have beer here without having to get out of bed much. And wouldn't a larger hard drive on the computer be awesome? I bet I could snake ethernet all through the house, bright blue cables - oh, man, that would be so bitchin'. Ooh, I think I need to hold your breast again. God, that's fun. Anyway, wooeeee was I good. I'm still hungry. I wonder if she'd mind if I asked her to get up and make some mac and cheese? I mean, she's gotta be in the mood for that, too, right? That was quite a workout. Oh - wait - I have it - imagine this: a nuclear powered water heater! Holy shit, we could have mac and cheese in like 8 seconds! God, that would rule!! Oh, man, now I'm really hungry, but I'm sure we're still in this 'let's just hold each other' phase she's always going on about...christ, doens't she get hungry after sex? 'course, she just lays there anyway, but I mean, my God, that's a workout, and what's sexier than food? Except maybe that chick who checked me out at Shopko. Holy shit was she hot!! Probably only 17, but man...the way they make teenagers nowadays. Not like when I was in high school. Oh, man, imagine a threesome with a bunch of college chicks who've never had a real man before...Oh, God! What a night that would be! And when we were done, they'd be all 'Hey - show me your bitchin' hydraulic remote and your totally geek intranet in the house' and I'd be like 'oh, yeah!' but then the wife would come home and that would be the end of that shit. Though i'd hear her car up the driveway, and I'd hear the door go up, so I guess I could get the chicks out the back door before anything happened. Ah, hell, somehow she would know anyway. Which reminds me, I haven't fixed that back step yet. God, I hope she doesn't ask me about that. Maybe I can fix it in the morning. I'll call Bob - he's got one of those BADASS air-powered nail-drivers! Holy shit BAM BAM BAM BAM! That thing's awesome. We'll get the step fixed, have a few beers, and go watch chicks or something, and have some lunch. Shit, that reminds me, I'm really, really hungry now. Jesus - is the holding part over yet?"

[RagingInMiami]

14. you would have been tuned out on your sixth word

[GoddessOfGuinness]

17. yup...

[Rabrrrrrr]

19. Maybe, but that's what the guys are thinking...

[GoddessOfGuinness]

63. I never said it wasn't

I simply stated that it wouldn't hurt to come up with a creative lie now and then...

[Rabrrrrrr]

65. "I was just thinking....

your ass seems bigger than it used to be."

:-)

Though I have to admit, I did one time actually say "Hard drives are soooo cool". BUt I was also half-asleep.

A good serious one is "Just thinking how much I love you, and how I can't imagine being with anyone else."

So there you go, guys - there's your magic response.

[babylonsister]

21. I'm ROFLMAO!

[prolesunited]

25. That made me crack up

Well done! :toast:

[RagingInMiami]

31. Dude, that was brilliant

:yourock:

[fluffernutter]

43. holy cow, that was hilarious!

nice writing :thumbsup:

[BamaGirl]

46. LMAO! Too damned funny nt

[tigereye]

59. that was great Rabrrrr

[Samurai_Writer]

69. You should warn someone...

when you're going to say something that funny! I was laughing and coughing so much I about burst a lung!

[redqueen]

75. hehehehehe - Perfect!

This is why I wonder why women even bother asking!

[JimmyJazz]

20. Oh God - I think there is something wrong with me!

I've never asked a man that question. I don't think I've ever even thought to ask a man that question. I don't think anyone's ever asked me that question either. Clearly, I am haninging out with the wrong people - or I am the wrong people. Now I'm confused.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

22. Don't fret over it...

If you never ask, you'll save yourself much misery.

[RagingInMiami]

23. You're doing just fine

you're better than the rest of us

[Rabrrrrrr]

27. No, you're very smart

It's a silly question to ask, so best left unasked.

[JimmyJazz]

42. Thank you - I just thought I was not curious enough to ask the question

:hi:

[maveric]

33. Whats wrong with good old honesty?

If he's thinking of nothing then let it be.

[shesemsmom]

34. ROTF>>>>>>>>>>LMAO>>>>>>>>>>>>>

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Oh God, this is too much. If my Hubby said something like that, right after the hert attack I would have, from the Icu bed, I'd ask him who SHE is

[GoddessOfGuinness]

37. Hey, we can dream, can't we?

;)

[shesemsmom]

39. It would be one lol

closest I come to a compliment is a slap on the ass or a hunch while I'm picking up dirty clothes. Jeesssss! After 20 years with this man, the honeymoon is well over

[short bus president]

38. the real answer is always either

embarrassing, or pornographic. Trust me, you don't wanna know. Learn to not ask.

[Nevernose]

41. In my case, it's usually both

Who's that comedian, does the routine of what men and women consider erotic? For women it's environment and romance; for men it's positions.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

64. I learned not to ask a years ago, hon...

and frankly, it just sucks being with someone who can never say something nice save for the moment you lose it, and it's too late for compliments.

Yeah, sure, we can act tough and pretend we don't give a flying fuck whether or not the guy we're with shows his affection. And when we get tired of giving and not getting, we can have a fling with the first sweet-talker who comes our way, or just stop giving so our mate does. But it seems like it'd save a lot of anguish if couples were simply affectionate with each other emotionally as well as physically...

[personman]

44. What am I thinking?

That my innermost thoughts are noone else's business and if they were I'd be saying them instead of thinking them. =)

I doubt I'm the only guy who seriously hates this question, I seem to remember some comedian on comedy central refering to how this question makes him scream mentally. Was a moment of awe when I realized I'm not the only one annoyed by it.

I really have no idea why it annoys me so much, I will aknowledge that it annoys me even more then there is any real reason for it to.

[Skittles]

47. YES IT WOULD KILL THEM GOG

LOL. Plus I doubt many of the poor thangs could say such stuff with a straight face. I'd laugh my ass off if most of my boyfriends had uttered such inanities. I know what they're thinking - how they're gonna fix the faucet or who will be in the playoffs or how hot the woman pumping gas at the gas station was. :D

[noshenanigans]

48. I just never ask

I certainly hope this does not make me some sort of female anomaly (although I also like porn and video games), but I just think the whole "what are you thinking?" is an empty fishing for complements.

It's like saying something is "so beautiful" just to hear the guy say "not as beautiful as you".

Blugh. My guy can make me a stiff drink, leave me alone when I need it, and doesn't mind my love of Eliza Dushku. I'm doing okay.

[personman]

49. Thanks

I think that's part of the reason it annoys me so much, couldn't really put a finger on it. (If you've no idea what I'm talking about see my post above)

[noshenanigans]

51. Nah, I see what you're saying

I get bugged whenever there's any sense of manipulation going on (by the man or the woman, both are equally culpable).

[personman]

53. Cool!

And here all this time I thought I was just an asshole =), but your absolutely right.

[noshenanigans]

54. That's why I'm so sought-after... j/k and n/t

[sasquatch]

50. How about?

-"If that 3 bean chilli I had for lunch is going piss you off soon."
-"If it's time for the ol'dutch oven."

[Radical Activist]

52. Asking that question is just not a good idea

especially if done often. I was talking to one woman who dated a guy that asked that question a lot. One day she got sick of it and made a truthful comment about that she was thinking about the inadequate size of his member. He should have kept his mouth shut.

[kodi]

55. "I'm thinking whether to kill someone who asks 'what are you thinking?"

.

[iconoclastic cat]

56. Because he's thinking of that cute chick on the train today!

[BiggJawn]

57. Sometimes we ARE thinking of nothing...

What was that line from the Tao Te Ching? Chapter 15?

"Do you have the patience to wait
till your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving
till the right action arises of itself?

The Master doesn't seek fulfillment.
Not seeking, not expecting,
she is present, and can welcome all things."

But since you want "clever"...

"Im thinking about how, if I had breasts, that I would be playing with them all the time."

"I'm trying to finally resolve the 'Less filling/Taste GREAT' debate in my OWN mind..."

"The dawn glints red upon the spears of the great army in the East. The mighty Daimyo is troubled."

[JVS]

60. I'm thinking about how fat you look

:-)

I'm thinking about things that you wouldn't understand, things you couldn't understand, things you SHOULDN'T understand. (borrowed from Pee-Wee's big adventure)

[Spider Jerusalem]

67. Would it kill you women to quit being so damned inquisitive?

Whenever asked that question I always have an urge to respond with something like "I was just wondering how many puppies I could fit into a blender."

[Crankie Avalon]

68. Howzabout, "I'm thinking...

...a submarine could take this place out"? :think:

[billyskank]

70. Has anyone ever been asked this

only to be horrified to find that they actually can't remember what they were thinking? Even though it was only two seconds ago? Or am I just losing my marbles?

[StopTheMorans]

74. does a yawn count as an answer?

[redqueen]

76. That seems like a dumb question to me.

I mean, unless you're in some heavy conversation and he's just gone all silent.

Otherwise I like to wait until he has something he thinks is worth telling me. If it's not worth sharing on his own, I don't wanna know!