Those in retail: nominate your stupid customer of the year.

[Pale Blue Dot]

It's been a tough compitition for me, but I think I've made up my mind. The stupiest customer in MY store this year was involved in an exchange that went like this:

CUSTOMER: My fax machine says it's out of toner. What does that mean?

EMPLOYEE: It means you need to get a new ink toner cartridge for your fax machine.

CUSTOMER (after a beat): Is there anyone here who knows more about fax machines than you?

[BigMcLargehuge]

1. BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!

[Kire]

2. BN.com's same day shipping to Manhattan was suspended on September 12,2001

but that didn't stop my customer from demanding we send the trucks around the Tappan Zee bridge because she had a "very important business meeting" that afternoon.

[neoteric lefty]

3. over 3 1/2 years in retail sales

and I can remember some whoppers. I love the people that take an item to the register and when it rings up, they said that they found it somewhere on the other side of the store and the price over there was a quarter of the actual price. You can't call them liars, even if you saw them pick it up in the first place. You gotta go check (or act like you are) then politely explain that price was for a totally different type of item. They give you the, "Oh I didn't know." or the "That was the price advertised. I want to see someone in charge." I would just tell them, "That's me hun, what seems to be your problem again?"

[AmandaRuth]

4. customer: Help me, my dog constantly barks

me: What type of dog?

customer: German Shepard

me: Is he bored? Do you know what he is barking at?

customer: Prolly noises. The wife doesn't want him inside at night, so we keep him in the garage

me: He may be lonely and stressed, German Shepards are herd working dogs, they need to have a job and be part of a family. What about the daytime?

customer: We work during the day, we keep him in the garage during the day as well.

me: Arrrggggg.

[American Tragedy]

10. Poor dog!

That's abusive, I feel sick hearing things like that. :cry:

[paula777]

23. I'm so depressed that I read this post. Poor doggy

[AmandaRuth]

42. i have been selling pet products for about 4 years now

and I have to say that 90% of pet owners are really aware responsible people, but the other 10% oy vey, or something like that. They really believe that pets are replaceable disposable objects just put here on earth for their total convenience. I am sure animal rights groups are a response to that attitude and I can totally understand that. The breeders can be the worst offenders and are the most afraid and adamantly against animal rights groups, which they dismiss as "loonies" with a waive of a hand. Personally, after seeing it up close and personal for the past few years, I do believe that breeders should be involved in animal rescue, but just try telling them that. Or even talking to them for that matter.

I work in a very small shop, almost all the time I am alone. I like being alone because i can say things like "no we don't sell bark shock collars, the company doesn't believe in them. Here is a card for an animal behaviorist." Actually, we carry bark shock collars and my company, like almost all others will sell anything to make a buck.

[Ms_Mary]

72. You sound like me

I won't carry crap like that in my store either. We do have rabbits in the spring and sometimes chickens but I'm known to screen my customers. If I don't like them, I discourage them from buying the animals. We have a bunny who lives in our store. Customers get a huge kick out of seeing him run around when he's out, and an even bigger kick out of seeing him try to hump the cat. It's true what they say about rabbits...

[PoiBoy]

5. Do you work here?

...in uniform, with nametag... tasking or helping other customers.... and still... the question... gets me every time..:hi:

[Richardo]

24. I get that all the time: Armload of books, nametag around my neck:

"Do you work here?"

"No, I'm just an extremely helpful customer." :eyes:

[yardwork]

29. There might be a reason for the "Do you work here" question

I do this myself, just to be absolutely sure. That's because sooner or later everybody makes a mistake assuming that a fellow customer is an employee. If the person mistaken for an employee is anything other than a white male dressed in a business suit, then the mistake offends the fellow customer and causes a lot of shame and angst for the asker.

So, just to be absolutely 100% sure that I am not offending anybody, I always ask first.

[goodboy]

52. I don't know what it is about me, but people approach me all the time

asking if I work at a store. I help them if I can:)

I've been in line at a grocery store, and the person ahead of me has 1000 little items that have to be bagged separately, and there's 10 people waiting behind me...so I'll go up and start baggin the stuff for them...makes the line move faster.

[cedahlia]

89. Me too!

And I also will help them if I can! :-)

I don't know what you do for a living, but I work in a public library, where I help people find things all the time...maybe we just give off helpful body language or something! Or maybe we just have kind faces that draw people to us? It's cool though, I enjoy doing good deeds like helping people...and hey, your username is "goodboy!" It fits! :D

[Ms_Mary]

73. It's much better than "Where's the guy that runs this place?"

You are looking at her. How can I help you?

[Left Is Write]

77. Oh! That reminds me of something.

When I was working in radio, I answered the phone one evening to a man who said, "Could I please speak to the DJ?"

Me: I am the DJ.

Him: Oh you are? You gals are doing everything these days, aren't you?

(And clearly he wasn't a regular listener, because I'd been on air there for a year or two by the time that call came in.)

[TrogL]

106. I don't dare go in the local Zeller's

They're woefully understaffed and customers will chase down and hogtie anybody wearing a suit whether they work there or not.

Maybe they just hate suits.

[Dorian Gray]

58. Hah...

I always ask people that, even if they are wearing a nametag. It's my "polite" way of interrupting them before I ask them for help. It's not meant to be stupid or annoying, though I can see why it might be!

[PittPoliSci]

6. lady comes in...

she's wearing a "Regola for State Senate" pin, he's a disgusting repuke who unseated a prominent democrat in the area, needless to say, his "fan base" is comprised of foolish suburban yuppie wannabes and rednecks.

This Suburban yuppie wanker comes in here's the conversation:

ME: 4.25
HER: (hands me 5.32)
ME: (blank stare...5.32? what is she hoping to accomplish, I hand her 1.07 back)
HER: You owe me another dollar
ME: No, you handed me 5.32, i give you a dollar-seven.
HER: (obviously confused) what?
ME: (i'm sick of her, and the add campaign this asshole ran against my boy Allen Kukovich, so I'm starting to get really rude) here, let me illustrate. *writes down simple math problem on paper* See?
HER: I'M NOT A CHILD!!! I KNOW MATH!!!
ME: if you insist, but your candidate lies about the math he performed as supervisor of hempfield township, you know, the one where he bankrupted all those senior citizens. i had just assumed you were just as bad at math.

she stormed out and left her dollar-seven. i was excited, not only did i thrash a puke, but i got a tip for doing it!

[NoodleBoy]

7. good one

[fishwax]

35. Well done

:yourock:

[skypilot]

40. "You owe me another dollar"????

I'm still trying to figure that one out. Actually, that could be the motto for the Bush administration.

[Turn CO Blue]

63. Belly laughing at that one! "You owe me another dollar!" LOL!

[Menshevik]

8. ugh, retail

I worked in the technology department at Office Depot. There were so many stupid customers...I worked in a store located in a very wealthy area, too, so that made it even worse because they treated all of us workers as if we were serfs. I hated that place so much.

I can't tell you how many times I've had a customer say "Is there anyone here who knows more about (insert product here) than you?" after I've explained to them that their dream product (CHEAP, of course, with whatever features they rattle off) does not exist (and it was probably because I'm a girl and was working tech dealing with a bunch of 80 year olds).

One day I had a guy come into the store in search of an AC adapter for his Gateway laptop. He asked if we had Gateway specific adapters and I said no, and when he asked if we could get one from Gateway I told him we couldn't (because, seriously, we can't). We hd a generic AC adapter that sold for $130, but he, of course, did not want to pay that much. His friend who came along with him told me that he lost the original adapter when he threw it out the car window during a fight with his girlfriend. Uhhhh, I'm sorry, but if you willfully throw your AC adapter out of a moving vehicle, you shouldn't be complaining about the price for a replacement!

[AmyDeLune]

9. I Get This One About Once a Week...

*answering phone*
Me: Hello! (name of bookstore), how may I help you?

Idiot: Uh, is this (name of some other store)?

Me: No, this is (name of bookstore).

Idiot: Oh. *click*

The store has caller ID, sometimes it's soooooo tempting...!

[jmowreader]

104. We used to get those kind of calls at my old job

The guy who ran the place used to hire these real brassy women--and our phone number was right between a hair salon and a grocery store.

So the receptionist answered one morning..."Good morning, this is The Press."
'Is this Shear Pleasure?' (the name of the salon)
"Not for me, it ain't."

We also used to get a lot of calls from stockbrokers after the boss's money. One calls up and gets this receptionist, who told the guy that "Mr. 'Jones' isn't interested."
'Are you Mr. 'Jones' wife?'
"No."
'Well, if you're not sleeping with him, how do you know what he wants?'
"Look, I didn't say I wasn't sleeping with him, I said I wasn't his damn wife!"

[strategery blunder]

11. Not in retail, but Mom works for airline customer circus...

Every single day:

*At O'Hare*

"I need to change my ticket to go to Boston instead of Columbus."

"OK, but you'll need to pay the fare difference, plus (insert change of destination fees on the ticket here)."

"But I have a ticket. I just need to change it."

"And you need to buy up becaue we need more fuel to fly you to Boston than we need to fly you to Columbus, and that's reflected in the higher fare."

"But I'm more important than that. I'm a frequent flyer, dammit! I fly 50,000 miles on this airline every year! I want service!"

"Being a frequent flyer doesn't mean the airline is required to give you free destination changes on demand. If it did, we'd be bankrupt."

*expletives*

Get the idea?

[strategery blunder]

12. Kick for the day crowd.

[mac56]

13. My wife worked at Barnes & Noble for many years.

Her favorite customer came in, and wanted to find a book containing a poem she could barely remember. After protracted discussion, my wife figured out what poem she was describing and found her the book containing it. Customer decided that was too expensive, though, and asked, "Do you have a Xerox machine here?"

Another favorite: "I'm looking for a book. I don't remember the title, author, or subject...but it's orange."

[Richardo]

17. I literally had that 'book color' customer my first day at B&N:

"It's for my book club, and I don't remember the author or title, but it's blue and about terrorists."

Amazingly I eventually figured out it was 'Bel Canto'.

[jmm]

28. Reminds me of working for a cab company

One of my favorites called up saying she was in Cambridge and wanted a cab.

me: Where exactly are you?
her: I already told you CAMBRIDGE.
me: Umm, in case you didn't know that's not a one street town. If you want me to send a cab out to you I need to know an address.
her: well I'm near a bank.
me: There are numerous banks in Cambridge. I still need an address.
her: Well I'm wearing a blue coat.
me: :wtf:

Almost as bad was a guy I met while shelving books when I worked at a library.

him: I'm doing a paper on music in Latin America.
me: Sounds like a fun assignment.
him: I need to find a book.
me: Well, you're in a library so this is an excellent place to find a book.
him: where can I find it?
me: find what?
him: the book?
me: I don't even know what book you're looking for. Did you go to one of the computers and do a search on the topic?
him: I thought asking you would be quicker
me: This is one of the largest libraries in the country. I can't be expected to know every single book, their topic, their location, and which ones you should read for your paper. :eyes:

[Love Bug]

61. My first job was in a Christian bookstore

I had the same kind of requests: "I'm looking for this book I saw about the Apostle Paul. I don't remember the name or author, but it's red."

My other favorite was the customer who called looking for a Jimmy Swaggart album: "I don't know the name of the song, but it goes like this ..."

[fleabert]

69. I worked there for a winter season one year, people don't believe that

happens...it so does. WTF was what I wanted to say to each and every one.

"there's this book, it's red, you know which one I mean? it's popular."

long pause.

[Left Is Write]

80. Haha! That's akin to "I want to request a song, but I don't know the name

or who sings it. It's by that one guy. Do you know which one I mean?"

[TaleWgnDg]

96. ROFL . . . (I couldn't help it)

[livinginphotographs]

103. Yes!!!!

I worked at bookstores for about three years, and they'd come in not knowing the name, title, or what it was about, but it was purple and about "this big."

I could probably think of some other stories, but I'm enjoying my no-customer-service-required 9 to 5 too much to bother.

[Feathered Fish]

14. Coffeeshop nightmares

Picture this: Morning rush, 25 people in line, most getting lattes. Jerk - halfway in the line yelling at me, who is on the bar, making 10 drinks.

Jerk: Start my drink, I'm double parked.
Me: What do you want me to start?
J: A double shot soy 1 splenda cappucino.
M: ok

after 2 mins

J: Where is my drink?
M: It's coming about 3 drinks from now.
J: Didn't you hear me I'm double parked, and I am late
M: It will be a minute
J: NO! I am late, make my drink now!!

another (nice) customer: she's going as fast as she can
Jerk: Probably an idiot.
Me: Get out, and don't come back
J: Consider yourself fired.

My manager then pulled him aside and banned him for life. HAHAHAHAHA

[Bunny]

20. "Consider yourself fired"???

What a monumentally pompous ass!! Good for you and your boss. It amazes me when people think they are more important than everyone else.

[Feathered Fish]

21. Yep

Oh, the joy. I have many more, but this guy was probably the most extreme ass.

[goodboy]

53. cool pic...I've met Dave Garibaldi...he's a real asshole. but TOP rules.

[Bunny]

68. NO!!! Is he really an asshole?

I hate to hear that! They are so cool, how can any of them be an asshole? Rats.

[goodboy]

70. yeah...I met him at a drum clinic...thinks his shit don't stink....(nt)

[Guaranteed]

32. Wow.

Some people are real fucking assholes. I swear, that sense of entitlement is really disgusting.

[Left Is Write]

79. I have heard people behaving that way in the local coffee places.

It's amazing to me!

It's not YOUR fault he's double parked. It's not YOUR fault he's late. Maybe he should've left earlier and parked legally. I can't stand people who think they are more important than anyone else. I can't stand people who won't show any amount of respect or recognize the humanity and dignity of the folks in service positions.

[NMDemDist2]

91. i own an espresso bar, and work lots of "rushes" myself

it's just day in day out silly :)

the one i get alot lately is "Can you make me a french vanilla cappucino like i get out of the machine at the Texaco station?"

16 oz FV single shot ristretto latte extra sweet is what i give em, and they love it every time ;(

[WMliberal]

93. you should've added water

i mean, they DID say "like the Texaco station" :shrug:

single shot ristretto to 16oz... haha. yeah, i think you got the amount of coffee they'd be receiving right, though!

[NMDemDist2]

94. those machines use a powdered blend ala those little cans of

General Foods "International Coffees"

sweet sweet and mostly milk

[Cuban_Liberal]

15. "I bought a book here 30 years ago, but can't remember the title..."

"Would you happen to have a copy of the sales slip? I can't remember the title, but I think it had a green cover..."

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSLAP!!!!

:evilgrin:

[skypilot]

41. 30 years ago?????

Are you exaggerating a bit or do/did you actually work in a bookstore that's been around for more than 30 years. They seem to be a dying breed.

[Cuban_Liberal]

44. The bookstore we own has been in business for 43 years.

We bought it in July.

:)

[skypilot]

45. Wow!!!

It's been my dream for some time now to own a funky little bookstore of my own but I'd probably have to move to a different city to do it. I live in Philadelphia and this city is a dumping ground for corporate chain stores.

[Cuban_Liberal]

49. Our other store is a news agency.

Newspapers, magazines, ciagrs/cigarettes, sundries, etc., and it's been around since 1936.

:)

[Skittles]

16. not retail but still a customer

Caller: What time will system maintenance be finished?

Me: 03:00 Central Time

Caller: OK, so I can start my stuff at 02:00 Central time.

Me: Oh, you're Mountain Time? Are you in Idaho?

Caller: No, I am in Virginia.

Me: Aren't you Eastern Time?

Caller: Yes.

Me: Then you're an hour ahead so you can start at 04:00 Central Time

Caller: No, no, it would be 02:00 Central Time

Me: But you're an hour ahead so it would be 04:00, not 2:00

Caller: What time is it where you are?

Me: Midnight

Caller: it is 01:00 AM here

Pause............................

Caller: OK thanks, bye.


So guess what happened at 02:00 AM Central Time? That's right, Mr. Virginia called me and demanded to know why maintenance was not yet completed. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

[Guaranteed]

33. Uhhh....Mr. Virginia was right...????

Or, rather...I think you were both wrong...kept saying "Central Time" over and over...

4:00 his time was right.

[Skittles]

39. I was the one who said 4:00

he said 2:00

correction, I had told him 4:00 Eastern time; he kept insisting he was an hour behind us, not ahead. Bottom line is he didn't seem to understand his time zone!

[obreaslan]

48. Wow, my head is spinning....

:silly:

[Skittles]

50. you don't know the half of it

my callers can be in ANY time zone - they are in ALL OF THEM, world-wide.

[skygazer]

18. The Cantaloupe Lady

We had cantaloupes on sale, 3 pounds for a dollar. There was a large display of them with four signs all around it. I was working produce when I got the call for a price check on cantaloupes. Called the checker and told her and she told the lady. Lady says, "Oh, no, they're 3 for a dollar. It said so on the sign." Checker patiently explains that it's easy to mistake the two and that it really is 3 POUNDS for a dollar. Woman insists she is right, holding up the line and abusing the checker. I tell the checker I'll be right up.

So I collected all the signs from the cantaloupes and went up, holding them so that they are stacked. The lady, all huffy, tells me, "Your sign said 3 for a dollar!" I show the first one to her - "3 pounds for a dollar", it says. "Was it this sign?" I ask. Flip to the next. "Or maybe this one?" Flip. "Or this one?" Flip. "Or maybe this one?"

Checker is trying to stifle laughter, customer is furious and beet red, I'm just enjoying myself. The bitch finally admitted that "maybe" she was wrong and sort of apoligized.

She wasn't the worst but she was the most fun.

[DelawareValleyDem]

26. I worked in produce

I once had a customer ask me why the oranges were stamped 25 cents each when the sign said they were four for a dollar.

[Lady Effingbroke]

19. great site!

http://customerssuck.com/cs

[NashVegas]

31. And Another

http://www.retail-sucks.com/

[uhhuh]

43. retail-sucks is run by Chimp loving RWers

I prefer customerssuck.com, although there are some wingers there too.

[Susang]

22. I work at a Harley Davidson dealership

My customer stupidity stories know no boundaries. ;-)

[CanuckAmok]

78. A-HA!

Didn't you take me to task last year for bashing 'Harley morans"?

We meet again, Ms. G...(CanuckAmok stokes chin menacingly...)

[CO Liberal]

25. I Used to Work the Service Desk at Kmart

And it was amazing what people would try and bring in for a refund or exchange.

I remember one elderly couple who cam in with a Sunbeam hand mixer that had stopped working - the wanted a brand new one. From the design of the body, I figured it must have been made around 1962. When I told them I couldn't give them a one-for-one exchange, they demanded to see the manager - I gladly let him deal with them.

The worst were in Henderson, Nevada, which is outside Las Vegas. People seemed to regularly go through their houses to look for things they could exchange for money to spend in the casinos. Like the guy who brought a car battery in and didn;t want to hear about "pro-rating" - he paid X dollars for it, and that's what he wanted back...

[skygazer]

27. Yes, I see that a lot too

People bring things in that we don't even sell and demand refunds for them. Now we require a receipt for an exchange or refund over ten dollars and you should hear them complain! If we just gave all this crap away, we'd be out of business.

[Ms_Mary]

74. I've got a small business I had a guy come in one day with something

he got at WALMART and wanted to know if he could exchange it for the higher quality equivalent in my store. Hell, no! Do I look like Walmart to you?

[gollygee]

30. I worked in a library in my youth

And a woman came in to photocopy a check. We had people do this every so often. For obvious reasons, I wasn't allowed to touch their checks, but I could help with buttons on the photocopier. So this woman sat her check on the machine, and I helped her run the photocopier, and then she took her copy and her check. She looked at the check and told me that I had used the photocopier to change the amount of the check. Yes, that's right. I told her that photocopiers don't work that way - they just take pictures, they can't alter anything. I don't know about technology today, but they certainly couldn't in 1980-something.

Anyway, she talked to the lead librarian, and then the whole library system administrator about it.

[Pert_UK]

100. Count yourself lucky....

I have a friend who's a librarian and she has to put up with a lot worse......

For example, the young guy who shat his pants whilst looking at porn on the library's internet computer....My friend banned him from the library, and so his mum came into the library completely outraged that her son was being discriminated against.......

:eyes:

Now the thing that gets me is that the guy (early 20s) went home and said to his mum, "Mum, I got banned from the library 'cause I shat myself while looking at porn......."

Now, my mum's a pretty understanding woman who loves me very much, but I can't imagine even her defending me in that situation!

[Courtesy Flush]

34. Customer: "What time do you close?"...

Clerk: "We're open 24 hours. We don't close."

Customer: "Well, then what time do you open?"

From my first job, 28 years ago.

[gollygee]

36. That sounds like an Abbott and Costello routine.

LOL :D

[yardwork]

37. I worked a lot as a waiter (they called it waitress if you were female)

I worked in the restaurant of a chain hotel and this man was the father of the hotel's CFO. I knew this because the customer made a big deal about it.

When I brought the man's receipt to him he said, "Let me show you something." (Men did these goofy things all the time. I guess they thought they were flirting.) He wanted me to put a "straight line, up and down" next to the amount on his receipt. So I did it - I had a lot of tables and it was busy and I wanted to pacify this idiot and get him on his way.

Then he grins broadly and says, "Now it says that I spent $123.74 for breakfast instead of $23.74 and it's in your handwriting!"

I was flabbergasted that he would attempt such a creepy stunt. I pointed out that the hashmark he had instructed me to make looked nothing like a "1" and nobody would believe his receipt was real. He just smiled in a nasty freeper-like way (this was years before we had a word for freepers but he was one).

A couple months later a lot of money went missing from the hotel's vault and there was something funny with the CFO being involved in it but the barmaid's name being forged. I wasn't surprised.

[dean_dem]

38. My stories....

Back when I worked at Target for several years (I was young, I needed the money!), I would constantly get people that would just tell me way too much about their personal lives. It wasn't offensive as much as it was just amusing. First, I had this woman come in and request to look at our jewelry counter. So I opened up, and after asking to see several sapphire rings, she says, "Sorry, I just really like Sapphire rings. My wedding ring was sapphires, before my ex-husband took it." I'm not really sure how to respond, but I offer an "I'm sorry to hear that." She replies, "Yeah, I'm sorry too." She grimaces and says "It wasn't a pretty divorce. He left me for a stripper." Great lady, I'm just selling you jewelry, I'm not your shrink.
The next guy was this really good ol' boy type. Seemed like a nice enough guy, and he asks to see our watches. He explained that he needed a new one for his wife because "I came home late other night after drinkin' with my buddies. Wife gets to swingin' at me, and clock me across the jaw, and shatters dat damn watch, I tell ya." I didn't think to ask if this happened at home or on the set of a morning talk show or something.
But a co-worker recounted this story to me the other day: her second job is as a CS rep for JC Penney. Apparently someone ordered a 150 thread count bottom sheet, and was very pissed off because when the order arrived, they wanted to know where the other 149 sheets were.

But what really chapped me working in retail was the people that just treated you like they were better than you. I won't even get into the people who did things like clapping their hands at me to get my attention, as if I were a trained puppy or something. No one should treat another person like that. Its just demeaning.

[mac56]

46. I know what you mean.

I worked in a video store for many years. We'd close each evening at 9:00, which means we'd have customers straggle in at 8:59:59 and insist on looking at every video box on every shelf. I'd politely inform them that we were about to close, and ask if there was anything I could help them "find quickly". People would respond like I had given them the biggest insult in the world. Except for one real condescending woman, not much older than me, who just smirked and patted me on the cheek.

Several complained to the owner about me. One guy admitted, though, that when it was quitting time he was "the first one out of the parking lot". Couldn't make the connection between that situation and mine, though.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRR

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

47. When I worked in a major chain bookstore........

Dumb Customer: Do you sell reflex hammers?

Me: (Stunned) Uh, no.

Dumb Customer: You know, the little things your doctor taps you on the knee with.

Me: Yes, I know........this is a bookstore. We sell books.

Dumb Customer: Well, I know you sell medical books, so I thought you sold medical supplies too. Thanks anyway.......

Me and my friend at the counter were in such shock, we stood there saying nothing for about five mintues.

[goodboy]

51. I sell pianos for a living.

I had this guy in march looking for a piano to get his kids started in piano lessons. He visited the store a couple of times but refused to give me his contact information, so there was no way I could let him know if I found something that would work for him. I gave him a kickass price on a new YAMAHA piano, and I was willing to take a short deal, just to get it done. He passed. I never called him after that because I couldn't give him a better price...months went by. A couple days ago he comes into the store. He says he bought a used YAMAHA piano second hand, and his kids aren't playing it, and now he needs help selling it. I asked him, "Why aren't the kids playing it?" He says, "they're just banging on it, and I don't think they're really into it" I asked him, "well, did you get them piano lessons to go along with the piano?"

He said "No."

If he had bought the piano from me, I would've gotten his kids 8 free weeks of lessons, and if the worst happened, and they quit, I'd have sold the piano for him on consignment in my store.
Man, he's gonna have a tough time getting rid of that piano.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[flamingyouth]

54. I totally went off on this guy on Tuesday night

He was being so abusive to one of my employees. I finally stepped in when my customer left and asked him if he had a problem. He said, "She (my employee) is being very rude to me," and then he launched into the swearing thing, which I will not stand for.

I defended her (he was completely in the wrong, incidentally, and was trying to rip us off, but that's a whole other story), then he had the audacity to ask me what my attitude problem was.

WRONG FUCKING QUESTION TO ASK ME, DUDE.

So, I told him what my problem was. I told him my husband killed himself six months ago, I'm trying to run this business, and each day I struggle to get up in the morning, but yet I still do. I also gently suggested maybe he get some perspective, stop bullying people, and stop treating people like dirt, and to focus on what's real in life, and not on some bullshit powertrip like he was trying to give us.

Finally, I added, "I sign this woman's paychecks and I can tell you in no uncertain terms that she does NOT make enough money to get treated like this. Oh, and Merry Christmas."

Then I stormed off. OK, I had a meltdown. The holidays are really getting to me.

Here's where he became the stupidest customer of the season so far... He actually just told us to keep the item he came to return and bought something else instead. :D

I have a long fuse, and I just blew up. But all three of the women who work for me were really happy that I put him in his place. He was an abusive ass.

[Pale Blue Dot]

56. Great story.

That's where it pays to be your own boss.

More and more I'm thinking that we are a society of enablers, and what we really should be doing is shaking people and telling them what total jerks they are.

I'll bet you gained new respect from your employees, too.

[flamingyouth]

57. The enabling thing...

That's exactly what we were talking about afterward. Stores like Nordstrom that just let their employees be abused - that just gives ammunition to assholes like this, so he thinks he can walk in anywhere and just abuse people.

I actually felt bad when the employee said, "No boss of mine has ever defended me before." I thought, man, that really sucks. :(

[yardwork]

82. That reminds me of the scene in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

where the uptight guy curses at the rental car lady using the f word every other word, and she listens politely for a while, and then tells him he's f'ed.

It's ok to have a well-deserved meltdown sometimes. People need to be confronted with the consequences of their actions. The bully who came in your store sounds like he makes a lot of people miserable on a regular basis. Good for him to see the results of his behavior. Maybe he'll think twice next time.

Tough love for customers!

[pattyg]

55. I know you all don't know me...

but I had to share mine.

When I was in college, I worked in a tuxedo store. We had to ask everyone their height and weight. I actually had this guy tell me that he was about 5'12". He was serious.

[Kire]

62. LOL and Welcome to DU!

:hi:

[yardwork]

83. Welcome, pattyg!

[laheina]

95. LOL!

It's funny that I've heard that too. Even worse, I had to explain to the person that I was with at the time why a person cannot be x ft. and 12 in!

Welcome to DU pattyg! :hi:

[donheld]

97. Welcome pattyg

[Downtown Hound]

59. I used to work in a movie theater

and one time late at night after all the shows had gotten out this totally stoned guy asks me if I've seen his hat. I look in the lost and found, and it's not there. He then confesses to me that he's "totally ripped off his ass man," and asks me to check in all of the theaters for him. I want to tell him to fuck off, that if he's too goddamn stoned to remember where he put his hat then that's his problem, but I check them all. It takes me over twenty minutes to do so. There is no hat in any of them.

So I go out and tell him this. "Well what happened to it man?" I'm this close to telling him to get the fuck out of here, because as I went into one of the theaters, it reeked of weed, and I know it was him. Normally I turned a blind eye to that sort of thing as long as people behaved themselves, but this guy was being a pain in the ass. I tell him I don't know, and then I tell him that we're closing in ten minutes, which was true, and I could take down his info and call him if we found his hat. "Look man, I'm so damn high right now I can't even remember my own name." That does it for me. I said, "Look I've checked all the theaters for you and the lost and found. There's nothing else I can do. If you can't remember your phone number then I can't help you. Next time keep better track of your things."

He looks hurt, and then says, "Are you kicking me out?" "No," I tell him, "but you're going to have to leave anyway because we're closing."

"Let me have some of that candy before I go."
"I can't do that."
"Yes you can man."
"Get out of here now, I'm tired of dealing with you!"

Arrrgh! Moron.

[jmowreader]

60. Six of us are working on the asshole customer of the decade

Customer and his wife come in to price a door and installation. They're price shopping, of course. Finally they decide on a solid-mahogany door with sidelites and a transom--this door costs $3400.

We ask them about installation. "We have our own installer."

The door comes in. "We've decided we want (names the installer who works for Lowe's) to put in the door." We explain that we don't hire Lowe's installers to install Home Depot's doors and they start screaming that they're going to get exactly what they want, exactly the way they want it, or they'll get all of us fired. Okay. We call Lowe's and ask if we can pay them to install this fucking door. Their store manager says sure, no problem.

Lowe's installer put a minuscule scratch in the door when he put it in. At least they said he put it in there--they also said he "scratched the hell out of the door, made it completely unserviceable, we want a completely new door." Two of us went out to the customer's house to inspect the scratch. I had a can of tung oil, a can of my varnish-oil-thinner witches' brew and some Briwax in the car. I looked at the door and couldn't see anything. My partner looked at the door and couldn't find anything either. "Where's the scratch?" They point at this quarter-inch-long curved scratch that's next to the lockset (in fact, about as far from the lock as a diamond like the two-carat one in her wedding set would be if you were opening the door without paying attention to what you were doing) and start pissing and moaning about how the entire door was demolished. It took me five minutes to fix the scratch.

So let me see...we've written off the $30 measurement fee. We paid fucking Lowe's to install one of our doors, and then we gave them that for free--an install costs $450 for a door this complex. We have done about $800 worth of custom carpentry for free--the home had no transom and no sidelites when we started. (A transom is a window over a door.) We bought $400 worth of mahogany and paid Highland Lumber $250 to mill it into the various pieces of moulding we'd need to install the door, and then we dropped another $75 buying dyes to attempt to match the moulding they had in their home already. The running joke here is that eventually we'll have paid more to install this door than they paid to buy it. And every time we do something nice for them, something that's way, way, WAY above what we should have to do, they remind us that they're compiling all the things we did wrong and they're going to send a letter of complaint to our corporate headquarters. (We are in constant contact with the vice president of millwork, the vice president of consumer affairs and our corporate counsel over this one. Their opinion is that on the day we hit $3400 we can safely cut them off. And we're getting reimbursed by consumer affairs for all of this--they said that rightfully this is their customer from hell, so they're paying us for our troubles.)

[Turn CO Blue]

64. I've been working in Customer Relations for an airline for nearly

seven years...

I've been thinking of writing a book entitled, "Stupid Passengers I Have Known".

[AlienGirl]

65. The baby-voice lady with all the rings

She always talks about how rich her husband is and all the things he buys for her. She also expects to be waited on hand and foot, and taps her fingers and her feet when I'm not steppin' and fetchin' for her.

Or else the people who come in with a list of items and expect to be walked to each one (despite the aisles having big signs hanging over them saying what's in them) and then ask, "Which of these is better?" when holding two products with the identical ingredients from different companies.

Or the ones who are upset that there isn't a sale on the thing they want to buy, and that I can't reduce the price for them.

And then there are the ones with no parenting skills. The gems of this year are the mother who let her kid empty a can of Raid on the floor and the one who stood by and *watched* while her toddler put nail polish in his eye. (Me: "You saw him do it?" Her: "Yes, he opened the cap and put it in." Me: "Why didn't you STOP HIM?!")

And of course there are the ones with attitude. The older, grey-haired fellow who said, "I could buy and sell you" when I asked him not to open a hairdryer box to look at the contents. They all seem to think they are a higher form of life than me, and I guess according to the Game Rules of this society they are. They measure their net worth in hundreds of thousands of dollars, and I am in so much debt I'll never be able to pay it off, even if I live to be a hundred.

Tucker

[flamingyouth]

101. Small world time - but she shops at my store too

We both work in Bellevue. I haven't seen her in a while, but the last time I did, I posted my "I've worked 20 years in retail and I can't take it anymore!!!" thread.

I too love being told, "I could buy and sell you," as if I were a pork belly commodity or something. People - you can't live with them and you can't physically harm them without risking jail time. :eyes:

[Missy Vixen]

66. Got a couple for you

First customer: My mother in law made an afghan 25 years ago. Do you think you could get me some of the brand name and dye lot of the yarn she used? (Of course, she had no idea of what brand of yarn the afghan was made out of.)

Second customer, a couple of weeks later: Had two under-ten children accompanying her. The younger one (probably four or five,) was alternately sucking her thumb and swinging a Barbie purse on a strap that must have been loaded with rocks. Of course, the purse was smacking into various and sundry things like, oh, displays. Her mother remained oblivious. When Miss Barbie Purse tired of using her purse like Xena's sword, she then started turning cartwheels (I wish I were kidding,) down the middle of my 300 square foot store.

I asked her to please stop. The mother finally spoke: "She's not hurting anything," in a whiny voice. My response: "I'm sorry, ma'am, but I'm not insured for gymnastics inside my store." The mother repeated, "She's not hurting anything." I then asked Manhattan's mommy (yes, I wish I were kidding,) to leave.

Julie

[Minimus]

67. Many many moons ago, I worked at a cosmetic counter in a

department store. One evening a lady came to my counter and asked where the maternity section was located. I told her we did not have one. Her response: "Not even a small one?"

I felt like saying,"Yes, okay we do have a small one that we don't tell anyone about, but since you have persisted I will let you in on it. Come behind my counter and take the private elevator to it."

"Not even a small one?" hee hee, for some reason that still cracks me up.

[Ms_Mary]

71. Oh, I have one!

We had a chicken day last year in the spring where we had baby chicks for sale (feed/sporting good store, rural area). I printed up a paper all about the care of baby chickens and how important it was to keep them warm, fed and watered.

This guy comes in and wants to buy some for his mother in law. He picks out the breed he wants and I give him the sheet about caring for them. I explained in detail how to take care of them b/c it was obvious he was none too "swooft." I tell him "This lets you know how to keep them watered and fed and you need to keep them under a warm light."

He looks at me. "I don't have to feed them or anything, do I?"

Yes, you dumbass. They are LIVING creatures and I just told you how to take care of them.

I convinced him to leave the here and pick them up in the morning so he could take them directly to his mother in law.

Stupid, stupid people.

[put out]

75. Oh, does this bring the memories!

My retail experience was in food/bar service. A restaurant in Branson. A family, dad, two young boys, and mom. All of them very big people. Insisted on a booth instead of a table. Complained about the size of the booth. The males ordered cheeseburgers, the mom had another sort of sandwich. Brought the food, checked on them a couple of times. On my third visit, the dad complained that the cheeseburgers weren't done and "I don't eat raw meat and neither do my boys" (the burgers were pink in the middle). I offered to take them back to the kitchen, explained that it wouldn't be more than a minute or two to grill them to well-done. The boys howled in protest and the dad said "We aren't done eating, but I shouldn't have to pay for this". I told him there was nothing I could do to help at that point.

They complained to my boss about my attitude, said they wouldn't be back. They cleaned their plates, and stiffed me the tip. Branson, Missouri is a little slice of hell on earth. Just my opinion.

My edit: I did not mean I would take the family back to kitchen and grill them until they were well-done. No wonder the boys were howling.

[Left Is Write]

76. Answer for that -

CUSTOMER (after a beat): Is there anyone here who knows more about fax machines than you?

EMPLOYEE: I don't know. Is there anyone here who knows less about them than you?

[baldguy]

81. I worked in a liquor store in college.

One Sunday the whole crew came in the do inventory. Now, consider at that time the laws didn't allow liquor stores to open on Sunday - AND we put a big sign with 4 in high letters on the front door saying "CLOSED FOR INVENTORY".

Every 20-30 min someone would come up and knock on the door.

[arwalden]

84. Many Years Ago When I Worked For Waldenbooks...

A customer returned a book because she said it was haunted. She said that an evil spirit had taken up residence in the book. She explained that the spirit's presence isn't observable until the reader reaches page 81. At that point, the evil spirit starts to take over the person who is reading and makes them feel dizzy.

SERIOUSLY!! When I asked her to fill in the one-line "reason-for-return" (normally, the customer would write "defective", "duplicate", "not wanted") she filled in the two lines then turned the form over and started explaining EXACTLY what she perceived.

Since the book was in good shape, we had no problem with refunding her money (she didn't want to exchange it). BUT... she wanted me to PROMISE that I would not put the book out on the shelf to resell to someone else. Otherwise, whoever bought it would also discover the ghost and possibly become possessed by it.

A genuine woo-woo fruitcake!

I told our regional manager about the incident and forwarded her a copy of the return form... which appeared (transcribed) in the following month's Waldenbooks district newsletter.

-- Allen

P.S. It was one of those self-help pop-psychology books on finding the perfect mate. I'll leave it up to you to think of your own snarky comments. :-)

[NMDemDist2]

85. i have two stories, one was a sorta customer and one was just stupid

stupid first:

While we were sitting by the beaver pond downhill from Denali Nat'l Park Hotel, enjoying the beavers and moose, a family of 4 comes by. Dad, Mom and two girls. All 4 were blond blue eyed models of waspish yuppism (up to and including having their cashmere sweaters knotted around their necks).

as you stroll down the path there are stumps of birch and aspen trees from the beavers cutting down young trees for their dam/habitat.

Mr "Nature" walks by stating in a loud voice he is going to call his Senator about the "damn Park Service cutting down trees in a park" as not 20 feet away Daddy Beaver is hauling a 8 foot sapling toward the pond!

Sorta customer

While working in a tour company for the Grand Canyon I get a call from a Travel Agent in Florida. Her clients want to fly to Phoenix for a golf/shop vacation, but while they're here want to take a day to hike to the bottom of the Grand Canyon.

I politely explained a "rim to rim" hike is not for amateur hikers and under no circumstances could it be done in a day from Phoenix. I explained that the Canyon is a 4 hour drive one way and the hike it self is an arduous undertaking.

She asks "Well how far down is it?" I reply it is 7 miles down to the river. she states in awe "That was some meteor huh?"

[Heddi]

87. Not customer related, but stupid related

When my husband and I were in Amsterdam a few years ago, we were in a fine restaurant eating some savoury pancakes, and there was the EPITOME of UGLY AMERICAN sitting at a table across from us.

First, he was pissed that he had to wait FOUR MINUTES to be seated in an empty restaurant (Oh the horror!)

Secondly, he was pissed because he asked for a glass of water, and they brought him just that. A glass of tap water, no ice, no lemon. He started screaming "What do I gotta do to get some fucking service around here? Don't you people believe in BOTTLED WATER? Don't you people believe in ICE? Don't you people believe in LEMON?" The waitress just smiled and said "Well, sir, if you had asked for bottled water with ice and lemon, I would have brought you bottled water with ice and lemon. Instead, you asked for a glass of water, which is what you got"

Thirdly, his waitress wasn't fast enough with her service of him (Gee, I can't imagine why she wouldn't want to be around his table more than necessary). He was having trouble reading the menu, which was, amazingly, printed in Dutch.

He actually said (I kid you not) "Don't you people speak ENGLISH around here"---uh, you're in HOLLAND....they speak DUTCH....asshole

[UncleSepp]

90. Match, with Belgians and Germans

I met a Belgian couple who were coming to the US for a vacation. They were going to fly to New York, but wanted to see Miami as well, since it was on the same coast. If they had time, they wanted to see Los Angeles.

They wanted to drive.

They were only going to be in the US for a week.

*groan*

Then, there was a story related to me by a German aunt (not actually a relative, but a dear sweet woman). One of her older cousins was coming to the US in the 1960s. He spoke a little standard German, some Hungarian, but mostly he spoke Schwabisch. Not a word of English. When asked how he expected to make his way from the airport in DC to where the people he was going to visit lived, he was not at all concerned. His answer: "Man spricht Schwaebisch ueberall" (People speak Swabian everywhere.)

[ronnykmarshall]

107. I have an ugly american story ...

We were in line for customs in Puerto Vallarta. On the plane before we landed, they handed us forms to fill out. Naturally this old hag in the line next to me DIDN'T fill hers out nor did she have on in her claw, uh hand.

This young woman handed her the customs forms to fill out. The crusty old bitter skank threw it back at her and hissed "IT'S IN SPANISH!". (she gave her the wrong form) I turned to her (trying not to look at her face as I feared I'd turn to stone) and being the smartass I am said, "Well duh? You are in MEXICO!". The customs lady giggled and handed her another form in english.

I told the customs lady "we're not all like that old puta". She got a kick out of that.

[Heddi]

86. I used to work at a Newspaper selling classified ads

actually, I worked at TWO newspapers selling classified ads. (hell. on. earth.)

My first funniest customer story happened on my first day at my first newspaper job. My phone number was 1 digit away from the customer service line or the subscription line (can't remember which). My first day I sit down at my desk and realize that my voicemail light is blinking. So I check voicemail and there are 4 messages.

Each message is from the same woman, and all of the calls were made between 1:30 and 4:00 am. Her messages were something like this:

"Uh yeah. I was getting a paper from the machine and my wallet got stuck in the machine and I need you to get my wallet out. Thanks"

That's it. No name, no location, no number, nothing. At first, I thought it was a joke, but every day for a week this woman would call between 1 and 4am and leave the same messages. I thought it was funny just in her stupidity.

The SECOND customer from hell was when I was working at a newspaper in SEattle. A woman had placed an ad but the phone number she put in the ad had been disconnected, so she called up to change the number.

Our paper is printed once a week (tuesdays) and distributed once a week (wednesdays). She called up on Wednesday morning:
HER: "Yeah, the phone number in my rental ad has been disconnected and I want to change it for my cellphone number"

ME: "Well I'm sorry, but our papers for this week have already been distributed. THey were printed last night. I can make the change, and it will show up online, but it won't be in the paper until next Wednesday"

HER: "What do you mean it won't show up until next Wednesday"

ME: "Well, we're the Seattle WEEKLY. Our paper is printed once a WEEK. The paper for this week has already been printed and distributed. There's absolutely no way I can change the phone number for this week. The papers are already on the street"

HER: "Well do something about it"

Me: Do what about what?

Her: Get the papers back. I want those papers reprinted

Me: Are you joking?

Her: Look here, lady. I paid $18 for that ad and I don't know who it is I have to talk to but you people WILL change the phone number in that ad

Me: Uh, you're joking, right? We print 200,000 papers a week. You seriously think that we have an obligation to reprint 200,00 papers because YOU put the wrong number in your ad?

Her: Customer serivce is DEAD! Lady, i'm gonna clean your clock if you don't give me satisfaction

Me: Thanks, ma'am, but I don't even HAVE a clock, and if I did, it would be cleaned by me. I appreciate your willingness to help out, though. If you'd like, you can come over and clean my dishes...they're in pretty bad shape...


---at that point, she started howling and cursing and talking in jibber-jabber. I put her on hold and transferred her to my manager, where I understand this woman told my manager that she (the customer) spent over FORTY FIVE DOLLARS A YEAR to advertise in our paper and she can't believe how badly such a STELLAR CUSTOMER was being treated by us.

Fucking fruitcake wench. I still laugh over that, and I love how she said she'd Clean My Clock.....

[anti_shrub]

88. "The Back"

I loved the people who seemed to really believe every retail store purposely hoards all its products in the back somewhere instead of on the shelves.

Customer: Do you have *product*?

Me: No, sorry, we're all out.

Customer: Could you check in the back for me?


What's worse is the store I worked for was being robbed blind to the point that no one but warehouse people were allowed in the back so that led to all kinds of hilarity when you had to tell people you can't visit the magic land of Backville anymore.

[Turd Ferguson]

92. My story

I worked as a bagboy this summer at a local grocery store(Bleh!). For some reason, people think that Bagboys should be an all-knowing source for information on every product, and its availability. I had so many times I had to check the prices on things I already knew the price of just for the customer, and then let him/her save face.

So many Bush/Cheney stickers on the cars in Kentucky, I was so happy when I saw a Kerry sticker.

My Greatest Story-

Some clown racks up about 280 bucks worth of groceries. He seemed like a nice enough guy at first, we talked a little about basketball. He says something about how he never shops here and hates it but the grocery store he works at went out of business. As he's talking about this he says,"Vote for Bush", which absolutely reeks of irony. I started to laugh a little bit but he didn't get mad. Then he tries to pay with his sister's check, of course it doesn't work and he starts absolutely abusing the clerk, calls her a dumb bitch and things like that. We finally get our manager and he starts yelling at the manager. Finally he storms out, leaving the groceries in the store. Screams "I'm never coming back to this fucking place, fuck all of you". I got to spend my whole day putting away his groceries. Best of all, next Saturday, he was back and paid with his own check.

[jmowreader]

105. Oh, I hear that one all the time too

The fun part about a Home Depot or Lowe's store is that neither one has a "back" per se--we keep the overstock in shelves above the sales floor.

So someone will come in looking for some damn thing that there's a worldwide shortage of. "We're out of that and we're expecting some this week."
'Could you look in the back?'
"This is the back."

[Pert_UK]

98. Two stories - one stupid, one just horrible….

I was working in Stirling in Scotland a couple of years ago and used to go to eat in a fantastic restaurant called Ophelia's whenever I got the chance (the company were paying).

One evening this American family came in - I believe it was mum and dad visiting their daughter who was studying at Stirling University. They were very nice and polite and quiet, but I can overhear them as they're ordering drinks to go with the meal.

Restaurant owner: Would you like any wine?
Dad: No thank you. My wife and daughter would just like mineral water, but I'd like to try some whisky as I'm in Scotland.
Owner: Most people don't drink malt whisky with their meal, sir, but if you want to that's absolutely fine.
Dad: Is there one that you recommend?
Owner: Well, Highland Park is an excellent whisky and a good one to start with if you haven't tried malts before. It's quite delicate and not overpowering, but has a subtle, distinctive flavour.
Dad: That's sounds great, I'll have a large Highland Park……..but could you top it up with Coke please?

The owner and I shared a look of utter astonishment as I choked on my Chablis…..

The other story I have is going back about 10 years to when I worked in a pub. There was this old guy who came in regularly with friends and they were a very respectable, well-dressed bunch of pensioners. One day, as I was serving him at the bar, the landlady came over to say hello to him. The old guy starts talking about her breasts and coming out with things like, "I'd love to give them a good sucking!"….The landlady is totally embarrassed and tries to laugh it off, while I just don't know where to look I'm so taken aback. This goes on for a couple of minutes and gets more and more unacceptable. Eventually his comments stop, and he says something to me like, "The front door's locked, I had to come in through the side door. Can you unlock the front door so I can go out?". I said something like, "OK, but you can always pick a window and I'll help you leave through that."

The guy went completely ballistic, and started accusing me of "Threatening a harmless old man" and how he'd complain to the brewery or get his young son to come in to beat me up. I've never seen anyone manage to get morally outraged so soon after sexually harassing somebody…..unbelievable.

Now I work in Event Management.....You wouldn't BELIEVE the stupid requests I get on a daily basis...

[rhino47]

99. My main retails is on ebay.

Though I do have partnership in a small shop.
Heres my stupidest customer story.
I sold on ebay a pink shawnee vase (pottery).About a week later I receieved an email from the buyer that it was chipped.I examine my pieces I offer for sale very closely.I was mortified.I mark every piece with a black light mark.(visable only under a black light)
I told her to send it back I will refund all her money and postage after I examine the piece for the mark.( I learned this early after people bought my mint condition piece and tried to pawn off their broken ones as the one I sold them)
5 days later I got a vase in the mail.It was made in china red vase with black magic marker all over it.
I just sat there and laughed.It was way too funny.
I emailed her a photo of both and thanked her for the laugh.She asked when she would get her refund.I explained after I talked to the postal inspector.Needless to say that was the last ive heard from her.

[Bertha Venation]

102. As a customer at Kinko's, on the computer. Elderly gentleman needs help...

None of the Kinko's Jerks were helping him. He'd been to the counter twice, and he'd come back to the computer he was using -- which was next to mine -- and sigh. For some reason I felt compelled to offer to help.

I hadn't been paying attention to what he was doing, but after asking if I could help I saw that he had never, ever used a computer before. He said he'd come in looking for a typewriter, and one of the Jerks told him they didn't have typewriters, but that he could use a computer and it was basically the same thing.

He needed to know what the mouse was, and what the arrow meant, and what a cursor was, etc., etc., etc. I didn't really mind, though. All the gent was asking was how to underline a sentence. I explained everything related to his request, then told him to click the "U" with the mouse, and said that then his text would be underlined as he typed.

He picked up the mouse, looked for the "U" button, and tapped the mouse on the screen.