What things happen in your office that they should have

[Cadence]

put in Office Space?

[thoughtanarchist]

1. The obligatory Group Lunch..

birthdays, arrivals, departures...

Sometimes the bossman gets the tab...
Sometimes you gotta go dutch ...
You never know what's gonna happen till the check comes...

[Cadence]

2. Do you have cubes and the whole groundhog

phenomenon?

[thoughtanarchist]

5. oh Yes...

I used to be an individual though... :shrug:

I'm lucky as my boss is at least 6ft 5 so I can see him coming from a long ways off.

[Cadence]

6. LOL. What about conference room meetings

where the manager writes buzz words like "deliverables", "outsourcing", "value added", "cross functional teams".....

[thoughtanarchist]

9. and we used to play buzzword bingo!

[thoughtanarchist]

10. The only thing worse than falling asleep at a staff meeting...

is having to keep a straight face while the guy next to you snores away...

:hangover:

[paula777]

15. Don't forget "synergy"

[DS1]

20. scalable, redundant, replication, xml-enabled

;-)

[DS1]

18. I had a Periscope

I shit you not.

[gaia_gardener]

3. Oh yes,

and they always pick the $20 a plate places, like they pay us enough for us to afford $20 lunches. AND then they make sure you sit in the smoking section, ensuring you will have a headache for the rest of the day.

I tried my damndest to get out of one when I was 8 months pg with my 2nd child. But, oh no, not gonna happen. When I (IMO, reasonably) requested that we sit in the non-smoking section so as not to poison my unborn baby, well that was sacrilege (and they were repubs) and I was overreacting.

The last obligatory lunch was our "lay off lunch". Taking us out to eat right before the office closed. Did the boss pick up the tab - umm, no. Of course not, if there were money to pay for our lunch, there would have been money to keep us on, right?

[thoughtanarchist]

7. That's another thing... Holiday Parties/Events

We won't give you a holiday bonus, but we'll force you to dress up and spend saturday night with your coworkers for an expensive catered affair...

OK so I'm a grinch.

:evilgrin:

[Cadence]

8. That doesn't make you a grinch

I used to hate that! All of my co-workers were middle aged, male, right wing fundies. It was torture!!

[queenjane]

21. The Old "Let's Split the Check Evenly" Ruse

I had to organize a going away lunch for a truly well-liked co-worker. I selected a nice, but pricey, place that would accommodate all dietary preferences. Even though I don't have a Master's or PhD, unlike all my co-workers, I knew a nice restaurant wouldn't split a check 23 ways. Ergo, I brought cash. Not so the rest of them. Since I made the reservations, I was allegedly the "host", so the wait staff dealt only with me. Here comes an astronomical bill. I hammer the water glass with my fork to get attention (I've always wanted to do that), then announce that I would be passing the bill around, and everyone should figure what they owed and give me the money. Did I mention I work with statisticians, who should be able to calculate their totals down to the tax and tip?? Of course, no one else had cash.

Then, one of these very well-compensated people suggested, to avoid the "hassles" of adding up individual bills, we split the check "evenly". I had a $7 entree, and had no intention of paying for someone's $20 lunch. I said as much. Loudly. They all looked just dismayed, as if I'd announced Santa was a fraud. I then deposited what I owed on the table, and left. An HOUR later, they began to straggle into the office. After much haggling and negotiating, one of them agreed to put the entire bill on his credit card to get the airline miles. He never did collect from everyone. I overheard a couple of co-workers criticize my "poor attitude".

Did I mention I started my new job today? Working for people who primarily work from home or come in around noon. They never go to lunch together.

[Abelman]

4. I don't work in an office

but my work environment is highly reminiscient of Office Space. To many bosses, moronic reports. It's like the f-ing Twilight Zone.

[Kire]

11. they had my going away party without me

I had to go on break. I threw a small fit, and left with some hard feelings among my colleagues.

[gaia_gardener]

12. They threw you a going away party

and then didn't check to make sure you'd be there at that time? OMFG - that's the kind of thing that's hilarious when it happens to other people, but it would seriously have hurt my feelings. That's just stupid and insensitive. What were they thinking?

[obreaslan]

13. When trying to organize the staff holiday party.....

One woman was very adamant about the fact that you couldn't have it on the Tuesday before Xmas because there were too many meetings going on that day. She suggested, loud and often, that it should be on the Wednesday, because that day works best for the office schedule. No other comlaints were registered about the Tuesday date, but oh well...

The date was set for Wednesday to acommodate, and the notice went out to all employees.

She replied that she would be unable to attend because she was off that day. :wow: :mad: :nuke:

[Cadence]

14. LOL!

OMG. That is so typical. If I had a dollar for every time I saw someone do something stupid like that....well...let's just say..you know..I'd have a lot of dollars.

[UncleSepp]

16. No Meetings Day

Great idea, except for two things. One, it admits that we have too many meetings to actually get work done, without actually reducing the number of meetings. Two, that meeting free day of the week seems to have a number of "get-togethers", "business coffees", and similar non-meetings every time it rolls around...

[dean_dem]

17. My old boss talked like a cross between Bill Lumberg and Mr. Garrison...

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

19. Lectures on Rational Unified Process every Thursday morning

Death. Pure death.

Thankfully yesterday I got a doctor's appointment and managed to evade it.