How to take a shower - Woman vs. Man

[Poiuyt]

How To Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror, make mental note to do more sit ups/leg lifts, etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and
pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with added
botanicals.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 3 minutes until
glowy pink.

Wash entire rest of body with gingerbread scrub.

Rinse conditioner out of hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.





How To Shower Like a Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in
a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo-hoo" sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.

Get in the shower. Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose into your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the
"woo-hoo" sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

[ohioliberal]

1. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some of this is sooooooooooooo true especially about the man, my husband does exactly the same thing. I have to show him this.

[Gothic Sponge]

2. That's not 100% true

I didn't have time to admire my wiener today.

:silly:

[kedrys]

3. LOL!!!! YER KILLIN' ME!!!

Stop it, my sides are hurting. I think my eyeballs are about to fall out. :D

[yvr girl]

4. True, except that we leave the conditioner in while we

shave our legs and armpits. We rinse afterward.

[supernova]

5. LMAO!

Thanks I really needed this laugh! Heee Heeee! :D

[buddysmellgood]

6. I don't leave water on the floor.

[Deja Q]

7. ROTFLMAO!!!

Glad that covers heteros only... just imagine the gay guy shaking his wiener in front of his partner... would have to take another shower in an hour! :wow:

[skygazer]

8. Not quite

This woman will walk naked to the shower in front of about anybody. It's my damn house - I'll walk naked in it if I want to.

[WFF]

9. Anybody??

So where do you live?

[meganmonkey]

10. Hysterical - LMFAO!

Woo-hoo!

[frictionlessO]

11. the man shower is totally wrong! I do NOT pee on the shoer unless

I really really have too.

n'yah!

[mtnsnake]

12. GREAT stuff!! FOL!!!!

Toooo funny! Thanks!!