I'm an eeeeevil woman. Talk to me and I'll prove it.

[Maddy McCall]

If you post here, don't be pissed if I smack you down. I'm an evil woman.

:evilgrin:

[nickgutierrez]

1. Prove it.

How evil are you?

[Maddy McCall]

5. Just for fun, I pluck the legs off of crickets and then feed them...

to my bearded dragon. Fun watching the little guys squirm. Muahahahahahahaha!

[nickgutierrez]

9. Pfft.

It would be more impressive if you plucked the legs off of your bearded dragons and fed them to lions. As it stands, all I can say is this:

BAH!

[Maddy McCall]

17. Why do you think I'm fattening up the dragons?

gonna put them in a live trap and let the coyotes eat them. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do!

:evilgrin: ;-)

[JohnKleeb]

2. how evil?

[Maddy McCall]

7. Sorry, you found the chink in my armor...

I could never be evil to you, JK.

Never. :-)

[JohnKleeb]

10. hah I appreciated you helping me out last week much btw

you know about Johnson.

[Maddy McCall]

23. No doubt.

YQW!

[JohnKleeb]

27. I should stay out of GD

I got attacked a few other times this weekend for shit.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

3. Ha ..you and what army?

[Maddy McCall]

11. The army of angry lesbian militants with whom I congregate.

You know, those southern lesbians, and I ain't talking about the code pinkers either.

Piss me off, and you'll have the wrath of southern lesbian gun toters come down on you. Oh, and all my guy friends are gun-toting gays, too.

:evilgrin:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

21. Ha! Lesbian militants aren' t called armies..they're called packs!

Though you had me, did ya?

[Maddy McCall]

26. Well, here they're called gaggles.

Never fuck with a gaggle of militant, gun-toting lesbians ever. And don't fuck with their favorite friend either, that being me.

:loveya:

[short bus president]

4. Do you eat babies?

And spit fire at the devil himself?

Ooh! Also... do you vote republican?

:P

[Maddy McCall]

13. I don't eat babies! I just saute them and feed them...

to my pets.

You should see them fighting over the hindquarters. It gets ugly, and leaves quite a sticky mess.

Muahahahahahahaha! :evilgrin:

[EstimatedProphet]

6. E-evil woman, e-evil woman, e-evil woman, evil woman

You made a fool of me, but them broken dreams have got to end.

Hey woman, you got the blues, cos’ you ain’t got no one else to use.
There’s an open road that leads nowhere, so just make some miles
Between here and there.
There’s a hole in my head where the rain comes in,
You took my body and played to win,
Ha ha woman it’s a crying shame,
But you ain’t got no one else to blame.

Chorus
E-evil woman, e-evil woman, e-evil woman, evil woman

Rolled in from another town,
Hit some gold too hot to settle down,
But a fool and his money soon go separate ways,
And you found a fool lyin’ in a daze,
Ha ha woman what you gonna do,
You destroyed all the virtues that the lord gave you,
It’s so good that you’re feeling pain,
But you better get yourself on board the very next train.

Chorus:repeat

Evil woman how you done me wrong,
But now you’re tryin’ to wail a different song,
Ha ha funny how you broke me up, you made the wine now you
Drink the cup,
I came runnin’ every time you cried,
Thought I saw love smilin’ in your eyes,
Ha ha very nice to know, that you ain’t got no place left to go.

Chorus:repeat

[Maddy McCall]

14. My black panties have an angel's face.

:-)

[arwalden]

8. Oh My Gay Stars!! We Knew It All Along!!

This is not news to most folks around here... but we're glad to see you FINALLY admitting the truth. This is the first step to recovery... admitting you have a problem.

We all wish you well on your road to regaining your mental health and a sense of well-being and belonging. :hi:

:loveya:

[Maddy McCall]

15. Ha! I am glad that "he whom shall not be named" left DU!

I was sick of all those cute puppy photos anyway!!! (Dook, you know I'm kidding! ) :evilgrin:

Mental health?? Mental Health??!? I don need no steenken' mental health!!

:loveya: too.

Now, be gone!! :evilgrin:

[BeHereNow]

12. Those of us who are truly EVIL

don't need to prove it.
We simple ARE...
:eyes:
BHN

[Maddy McCall]

16. I am the spawn of Cruella DeVil and Satan himself.

I think my pedigree proves that I am truly evil. I'm more evil than ANY woman on DU.

Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!

[BeHereNow]

18. And just WHO do you think were THEIR Parents?

THAT'S RIGHT!
BeHereNow!

[Maddy McCall]

20. LOL!

Grandma! I've missed you!! Send me some fucking money or I'll have you placed in an abusive nursing home! Now, gd it!!

;-)

[BeHereNow]

29. Come over and get yer damn money...

in about thirty minutes.
Hansel and Gretel are almost done,
You can get in the oven after them.
That's where I keep you inheritence check.
For safe keeping of course.
Your loving Granny,
BHN

[Maddy McCall]

35. HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Ok Granny. I could never be as evil as you.

:loveya: :-)

[BeHereNow]

36. That's RIGHT!

But I expect you to TRY girl! TRY harder!
It's a family tradition!
Just ask yer cousin George.
He's getting damn good at it!

Granny BHN

[JohnKleeb]

19. when did those two get together?

Cruella and Satan.

[Maddy McCall]

22. When I placed the yearning in their loins!

It was predestined that Cruella's X Chrom and Satan's X chrom be united...the end result was pure evil, pure hatred, pure disgusting nasty house owning ME. Bwahahahahahahha!

;-)

[JohnKleeb]

24. I swear, I thought Satan was in to guys

Like I heard he was with Saddam Hussein for a while then with some guy named Chris.

[Maddy McCall]

30. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Too funny!

:D

[JohnKleeb]

31. I didnt make that up, south park did

[Maddy McCall]

32. Well I didn't know that...

and if you ever want to be as evil as I am, you are going to have to learn to take credit for other people's work!

:loveya:

[JohnKleeb]

33. hah yeah

thats true.

[Fenris]

25. Oh please! I am evil incarnate!

Fenris (or Fenrir) is a gigantic and terrible monster in the shape of a wolf. He is the eldest child of Loki and the giantess Angrboda. The gods learned of a prophecy which stated that the wolf and his family would one day be responsible for the destruction of the world. They caught the wolf and locked him in a cage. Only the god of war, Tyr, dared to feed and take care of the wolf.

When he was still a pup they had nothing to fear, but when the gods saw one day how he had grown, they decided to render him harmless. However, none of the gods had enough courage to face the gigantic wolf. Instead, they tried to trick him. They said the wolf was weak and could never break free when he was chained. Fenris accepted the challenge and let the gods chain him. Unfortunately, he was so immensely strong that he managed to break the strongest fetters as if they were cobwebs.

After that, the gods saw only one alternative left: a magic chain. They ordered the dwarves to make something so strong that it could hold the wolf. The result was a soft, thin ribbon: Gleipnir. It was incredibly strong, despite what its size and appearance might suggest. The ribbon was fashioned of six strange elements: the footstep of a cat; the roots of a mountain; a woman's beard; the breath of fishes; the sinews of a bear; and a bird's spittle.

The gods tried to trick the wolf again, only this time Fenrir was less eager to show his strength. He saw how thin the chain was, and said that was no pride in breaking such a weak chain. Eventually, though, he agreed, thinking that otherwise his strength and courage would be doubted. Suspecting treachery however, he in turn asked the gods for a token of good will: one of them had to put a hand between his jaws. The gods were not overly eager to do this, knowing what they could expect. Finally, only Tyr agreed, and the gods chained the wolf with Gleipnir. No matter how hard Fenrir struggled, he could not break free from this thin ribbon. In revenge, he bit off Tyr's hand.

Being very pleased with themselves, the gods carried Fenrir off and chained him to a rock (called Gioll) a mile down into the earth. They put a sword between his jaws to prevent him from biting. On the day of Ragnarok, Fenrir will break his chains and join the giants in their battle against the gods. He will seek out Odin and devour him. Vidar, Odin's son, will avenge his father by killing the wolf.

Beat that!:P

[Maddy McCall]

28. Well, you'll have to get with me before I'll allow you to talk to...

Odin. I'm doing him. He likes it pretzel-style. He's chained to my bed right now, so, um, he's incapacitated. I just beat the shit out of him with my cat-o-nine-tails. He's speechless...or that could be the ball gag...don't know.

But, do let me know when you plan to drop in. I'll have the human harness ready. :evilgrin:

[Maddy McCall]

34. Goodnight DU.

Gotta go clean my lair. :-)