I'm in a severe rut, how do I change my life?

[Darth_Kitten]

:shrug:

found a copy of a letter that I wrote a friend 4 years ago when I was going through a rough patch. (I typed out the letter on computer so had a copy)
Man, the things I described to her, my frustration with things, certain people, could have been written by me today. The same feelings, the same frustrations, yikes!! :silly: Even some of the same people. :(

Help! What should I do? :hug:

[Jack_Dawson]

1. Move to a Blue State

I'll buy you a beer!

:toast:

[flamingyouth]

2. She's already in a blue country!

:D

[Jack_Dawson]

6. She's a Canuck?

Then I've revised my diagnosis. She's suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder. Hell I'm in San Diego and I think I have it...

[Darth_Kitten]

9. it does affect me....

when it's pitch black outside at 4:30 or 5:00 pm.

I'm prone to depression. :(

[Jack_Dawson]

14. Darth do you get in some exercise during the day?

When I don't work out I get freaky and not in a good way.

[Darth_Kitten]

18. ah HA............

probably not enough, and too much caffeine and sweets now. :)

I ate 3 donuts yesterday. :)

[Jack_Dawson]

22. Yeah...that's...not so good

I believe in Depression, but only after exercise has failed. Ride the bike for 30 min. tomorrow (at the gym).

JD

[NoodleBoy]

3. go somewhere

move somewhere temporarily if you can... you know, extended visit to parent's or something.

same situation for me a couple years back, 7 weeks across the country at my mom's-- and a kick-ass temp job for 6 of those weeks-- got me better.

[Darth_Kitten]

7. I cannot move....

:)


couldn't even go to work today, just too tired and drained. :(

[NoodleBoy]

26. sorry

then go somewhere outside, if just for a couple days. I don't know. go camping, if you can.

[Wapsie B]

4. How did you deal with those

frustrations 4 years ago? Did anything help?

[Darth_Kitten]

12. Let's see.....

went on stress leave and needed sleeping pills because I couldn't eat and sleep for days. :(

I'm not in the same crisis (I was going through a bad unfair situation caused by a workplace bully) but at the same time I was feeling frustrated about a lot of other things. When I read that letter today I realized, I have the same frustrations! Err.. :(

[roguevalley]

5. decide what you want, what you don't want and go from there.

its a start, honey. oh. and move to a blue state. they have beer. :+

[flamingyouth]

8. Do you know what you want?

Sometimes that's really the hardest part, figuring that out. Then, you can make baby steps toward that goal. Like taking a night class in a subject that really interests you, or doing something completely out of the ordinary for you.

I'm going to take a Brazilian samba dance class starting in January, when I have time. I figure, between the darkness and the post-holiday blahs we all get, that might lighten things up.

I am no expert, and I don't know what I want either, but sometimes writing down your feelings can help a lot. At any rate, I can relate. :hug:

[Darth_Kitten]

13. I need to get out, that's a start....

I always feel this way this time of year, so down and drained. I don't want to feel this way anymore. :)

Thanks! :)

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

10. I would suggest a retreat

with an experienced retreat guide.

[FarLeftRage]

11. Take a trip to a place

you've always wanted to go and spend some time there freeing your body and your mind of it's rut-full stress.

I plan to do that sometime next year... :)

[NV Whino]

15. They have special lights that you can buy

I've never tried them, mind you, but it might be worth a try. Can't remember what they are called, but they have a full daylight spectrum. Cheaper than moving.

[HEyHEY]

16. Take a cooking course!

And maybe consider a move.

[Imajika]

17. Set a small goal for yourself...

..even if it is something really tiny, and accomplish it.

Repeat each day. You've got to have things to be optimistic about, something to work towards, something to keep you motivated to get up each day.

I know this isn't a heap of profound advice, but you gotta start somewhere and only you know where you want to be, what can make you happy, and what you really want to accomplish in your life.

When people are in ruts they often think they can make some big changes and things will get better, but I have found that many just become dissappointed that they failed to accomplish their new goals - which only makes matters worse.

Setting small goals and accomplishing them will give you new confidence and soon you may find that your achieving bigger and bigger things. That new confidence will also help you better deal with some people in your life that you might be having some conflict with.

Some ideas: Change in diet, go to the gym, cut back on a vice you may have, be just a little more honest with someone, read a chapter of a book, volunteer somewhere, enroll in a class, finish some chores around the house that you know you need to get done....

Don't try to do to much at once, set a small goal for each day, accomplish it, and repeat the following day. If you succeed, reward yourself after not too long a period of time with a special meal, a small purchase you've been wanting, etc, etc.

I may be way off track, but this worked for me many years ago, and it has for other people.

Good luck Darth_Kitten! I wish you the best.

Imajika

[Darth_Kitten]

19. Sounds like a plan....

taking little steps towards things.

It's weird, but I think and think about things, but never **really** put these ideas into plans. However small or insignificant other people may find them. Just get moving,get motivated, and set some goals (I've never been one for big goals before, heh heh, I'll set some small ones)

Thanks everybody for all the advice and feedback, much appreciated. :) :hi:

[Imajika]

21. Your on the right track now...

..now we need more doing, less thinking ;)

"It's weird, but I think and think about things, but never **really** put these ideas into plans."

That's not weird at all, that human. What do you think happens to all those New Years resolutions millions of people make each year? LOL.

"Just get moving,get motivated, and set some goals (I've never been one for big goals before, heh heh, I'll set some small ones)"

Good luck to ya! I'll bet you can do it. Just remember, it is never too late to make changes, and if you put your mind to it you can accomplish a lot more than you probably think.

Imajika

[sweetheart]

20. change your phone number

Green vegetables and a SAD light. Don't give out the number to
anyone on your "frustration" list.

[taught_me_patience]

23. take an honest inventory of where you are

and then take an set an honest goal of where you want to be. Then make a PLAN to carry it out. A goal without a plan is simply a dream.

taught.

[KG]

24. move to florida and hook up with a really cool dude.

:hi:

[CBHagman]

25. Only you can decide what works for you.

For example, some people brighten up by being around people, and some are drained. You might want to experiment with your own balance there.

Don't discount laughter; it really is a huge help, no matter what the nature of your stress is. Even in times of severe grief I needed to laugh.

Tonight I went to a novelty shop that sells candy, jewelry, strange knick-knacks and some of the funniest greeting cards I've ever seen (weird things like George W. Bush in Tim Curry's get-up from The Rocky Horror Picture Show, with the caption Iraqi Horror Picture Show). I checked out the Our Lady of Dysfunctional Families candles and laughed till I cried.

I also used to go find a friend and make a night of it at the movies or the theater -- a huge help, and inspirational, too.