how to be an indie scenester

[ButterflyBlood]

50. Make fun of the kids on makeoutclub, and then go on there a week later
49. Get a LiveJournal, and only use it to whine about how much your life sucks with one sentence entries
48. Talk about how Fugazi is one of your favorite bands of all time when you only own 13 Songs
47. Love The Cure or hate them with a passion. There is no in between.
46. Whine whenever someone refers to a show as a concert
45. When at a show, NEVER wear the shirt of one of the bands playing
44. However, you must wear a band shirt. One of an indie band so you can show how cool you are to know who they are, even though you know that everyone else there has heard of said band as well.
43. Talk about how much you hate trendy bands, but jock the White Stripes as much as possible. They are the exception.
42. No hair style is better than bed head.
41. Abhor MTV, but Undressed and Beavis and Butthead must be two of your favorite shows of all time
40. Talk about how you hate that guy on MTV wearing Converge shirts but then get excited about Brandston being on the Undressed soundtrack
39. Talk about how Pavement is one of your favorite bands of all time even though you only own Crooked Rain Crooked Rain and the only song you like is Cut Your Hair
38. While on LiveJournal and internet message boards, use as many emo cliches in your username as possible. Stars, flowers, butterflies, blood and seasons all are good.
37. Buffy and Angel are also musts.
36. Decorate your clothes and backpacks with leftist anti-capitalist slogans, and then go eat out at McDonalds
35. When Jupiter came out, you loved old Cave In and hated Jupiter. Now you love Jupiter and everything past that and hate old Cave In
34. Hide your Dashboard Confessional CDs you bought before DC was trendy under your bed and pretend they don’t exist. But when you’re alone it’s OK to listen to them. But only for nostalgic purposes.
33. Own more records than your parents, but not a single one made before the invention of CDs
32. Listen to Sum 41 but never admit it
31. Pretend you long to attend Antioch College, when in fact you’d rather gouge out your eyeballs with a rusty knife than attend a private school.
30. Go to college but don’t graduate. You can take a year or two off and claim you’ll go back and graduate eventually, but if you actually do you’re a sell out
29. Make fun of Slipknot kids’ tendency to use profanity, but use a lot yourself. You just have to make it sound artsy and not obscene
28. Don’t use capital letters when possible.
27. Even better, don’t use punctuation. Unless you use periods between words instead of spaces.
26. Talk about how Slint is one of your favorite bands of all time even though you only own Spiderland and don’t like it very much.
25. Make sure all your favorite movies are indie ones. But American Pie type flicks are OK too.
24. Whine a lot about how 120 Minutes isn’t on MTV anymore
23. Don’t be caught dead in a Sam Goody.
22. Your car must have at least 100,000 miles on it
21. If you actually DO like Pavement, you must love Crooked Rain Crooked Rain and hate Slanted and Enchanted or vice versa
20. Get nostalgic for old school Nickelodean. Pete and Pete being #1
19. If you have any Juliana Theory CDs, burn them. You can’t even sell them used to the record store for the embarassment of being seen with one.
18. No, you can’t even have burnt Juliana Theory CDs. There is no wiggle room on this one.
17. You must like Weezer but hate everything after Pinkerton
16. You must like Radiohead but only like the stuff after OK Computer if you smoke pot.
15. If you’re a guy and like Le Tigre you’re gay. Otherwise you don’t admit it.
14. Own all Sunny Day Real Estate albums and like all of them, but they AREN’T one of your favorite bands of all time. Fugazi, Pavement and Slint are so much better
13. If it’s on Victory Records and you can mosh to it you must hate it. But if it’s poppy and teenybopperish you can love it.
12. You can like the new Jimmy Eat World, but only admit it to friends who also like the new Jimmy Eat World
11. Wear Buddy Holly glasses or make fun of kids that do.
10. Refuse to ever say emo again. You can only call bands “emoish” and then only if they’re Braid rip offs.
9. Hate Saves The Day but love Taking Back Sunday
8. The only thing worse than being caught in a Sam Goody is being caught in a GAP or Abercrombie and Fitch
7. Additionally, all your clothes must come from the thrift store, record store, or hand me downs from your parents
6. But if you’re out of high school you can’t live with your parents. That’s just not cool.
5. Write poetry and never show it to anyone
4. It is OK to like Blink 182, but only if it’s ironic or you’re a VERY long time fan.
3. Be friends with lots of people evenly spread out over a 500 mile radius
2. It’s only OK to dress up for a job interview. Even weddings and funerals are out of the question.
1. No matter how happy you are, never smile

I'll also add my own personal addition: if you live in Minnesota, tell everyone you meet about how your friend knows a guy who used to live with a guy who used to play in a band one of the guys from Tora!Tora!Torrance! was in.

anyway, 49, 47, 46, 45, 44, 42, 41, 38, 37, 36, 33, 32, possibly 30, 29, 24, 23, 22, 20, 18, 16, 13, 12, 10, 8, 7, 6, 4, 3, 2 and 1 all apply to me. do i have everyone beat?

[DemBones DemBones]

1. How many points do I get for having

Amber Valentine send me a funny e-mail she originally got from Mike Watts?