AUURRGGGHHH!!! The ex-wife and money...

[Pale Blue Dot]

When we split we decided that I would take care of the 2 largest credit card bills, and she would take care of the rest. Like many couples, we got ourselves into a foolish amount of debt during our marriage.

I have paid off one card, and will have the other paid off by March. And then, my plan is to never have a credit card again. I hate them. They're evil things.

When I paid off the Discover card, I cut up what I thought were the only 2 cards in existance with that account. Tonight, however, I found out that the ex has already recharged 80% of the card's limit.

Please understand: she is not asking me to pay this debt. It's just that she has my son, and she's getting half my paycheck, while I'm living with my parents and struggling week to week trying to learn to manage my money. And she is getting deeper into debt.

If she asks me for help, I will always help. But it's frustrating knowing that I could spend my son's childhood financing her debt instead of, say, his college education.

Sorry to rant so close to Christmas. It's better than yelling at her, which would accomplish nothing at this point. Happy holidays!

[Left Is Write]

1. 80% of the limit? Ouch!

I'm sorry. I have no advice for you, but I hope you can work it out.

[salinen]

2. What is she buying?

[Pale Blue Dot]

4. She over-extends herself.

Feels she must keep up with all of the gift-giving and traditions of her huge Catholic family. She feels that she can't ever skimp on that, but when you have money problems....

[AlCzervik]

5. you should have the the credit limit lowered

[hickman1937]

3. Stop paying

When they start calling(which will be right after they freeze the card) tell them that this was a divorce, and you won't pay till they cancel the account. I know it seems harsh, but the only way you can take care of your child is if you have the resources.

[Rick Myers]

6. Damn, my friend...

I went thru a similar thing about 12 years ago. It took years to sort out with the various 'entities!'

Hope you have a great holiday, no matter what!!! That's MY plan!!!

All the BEST!!!

[forgethell]

7. Cancel the card.

Pay your alimony. Everything is up to you. But you need to keep yourself from being blind-sided.

Makes me glad the old ball-and-chain is still around. At least I know when it happens. 'sides, she's still got it.

Good Luck!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS

[GOPisEvil]

8. I think she needs to learn fiscal responsibility.

1/2 your paycheck? Ouch. Usually, child support is set at 25% for one child. But then, you're just a nice guy. :-)

[Immad2]

9. Call the credit card company tomorrow

and advise them of the situation.

[SarahB]

10. Not good.

I was at home (or working part-time) for many years, but I was the responsible one about money and when I was, I was some "control-freak, cheap, psycho" or something along those lines. It was draining. The thing is for his work-related stuff, he's managed to turn around his entire department he manages from 20% in the red to now over 20% in the black in six months. At home though, it was another story. Hopefully he learned the lessons the hard way though a few years back and when he resumes control of his finances, he'll do ok. Knock wood.

The only thing I'm asking for is my share of the equity of the house and thankfully there's hardly any debt now (the history of a few years back was another story). We're having a rather informal custody arrangement for the immediate future and my schedule is going to be more erratic with work and school, so actually he's going to have the kids more for awhile. I can take care of myself. In fact, I want as little financial ties as possible at this point, but with children there's going to be some for quite awhile I guess.

Sorry you have to deal with this. Money issues can often be the hardest part of both marriage and divorce it seems. :(