Poetry thread

[Droopy]

Post your original poetry. Let me know if you think this is any good.

The Low Light

In that magical moment
I’ll never forget you.
Taking a trip through my mind,
head buzzing mightily.
There you are sitting
not saying anything
as if expecting something.
I couldn’t say anything
except how beautiful things were,
and how beautiful I felt.
Feeling as if I’d just seen
the world for the first time.
Time had ceased to exist,
briefly relinquishing its power
and by doing so had
unveiled the One.
I wish I could revisit
the all-encompassing moment.
But I have fallen ill,
my mental health won’t take it.
It’s a fragile thing, the mind
and I’ve pushed it to the limit
one too many times.
But I’ll always remember you
and the way your eyes sparkled
in the low light.

[RevolutionaryActs]

1. Oh I like your poem. :-)

This is the first poem I ever wrote,

Hero’s

Why do you hate
Why do we hurt
Why do you kill
Is this your will
There are no good knights
Tell me is this right
How can we keep this pace
When did this all become a race
You all want to get paid
But all that fades
Into zero
Now can you tell me where are
The hero’s?


Its really not very good, but for a first try I don't think its bad. :)

[Droopy]

2. I can see your user name reflected in your poem

Not a bad effort, especially for your first poem.

I wrote mine for a poetry class that I took earlier this year. I'd been writing poetry for a while, but never had any real instruction in it. That was the second poem I wrote for the class.

There are various forms and styles of poetry that you can write in, but my favorite is free verse because it is so versatile and it seems like you can say what you are feeling better in that form of writing.

[vixengrl]

3. Very descriptive of a state of mind.

The words have a good rhythm. I found myself trying to set it to music, which for me is a good thing.

Here's one of my *musical* poems:

Jazz Hymn: To Repeat until

We feel Blued-

Out


My dark mood casts a shadow so heavy

It leaves cracks in the sidewalk

You can fall into and die.

My dark mood is the same exact color

Of the pupil of the eye of a cyclone

Headed for a packed church

When a wedding is going on.

My dark mood is invisible by night

Ugly by day, therefore

Chiefly nocturnal.

My dark mood sounds

Like a playerless saxophone

With a cool hot wail

Only the desperate hear.

My dark mood is like

Satan's day off

When we got no one to blame

But our own damn selves.

And my dark mood

Goes on and on

Like a fire's damp remains,

When the sizzle has gone cold.

[Droopy]

4. That's wonderful, vixengrl

What do they call that when you compare things using the word like? Well whatever that is called you do it very well. Very imaginitive. It's a very good bluesy jazz song.

[Flammable Materials]

6. Simile. n/t

[Flammable Materials]

5. A Haiku.

Ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
You're Michael Jackson

[Droopy]

7. heh

Ha ha ha ha ha
I can see the zen in your
Haiku for Jackson

[Flammable Materials]

8. Some more haikutic genius.

Sumbitch kilt my dawg
Shot 'im between the eyebawls
I'll kill that sumbitch

I hate Christmas time
Freeper relatives coming
God, please kill me now

Ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
You're Bernard Kerik

[Droopy]

9. kick

C'mon. I know we've got some more DU poets in the house.

[KSAtheist]

10. Brennt Graceland?

There is death in Jerusalem
The Great King is gone
Free from his heartbreak,
and this jailhouse world
Where will the King sleep?
In a sepulchre
Beneath the soil abd
The green grass of home?
In a monument
Beneath a church in
His vegas vatican?
Perhaps in a hill,
A hollow hill built
For great dead kings
Who will rise again.
But there are rumors
Whispers from the pews
Where his acolytes
Say he lives anew
And walks this nation
Like a risen prophet.
I know different,
I know everyone dies
Even sacred Kings
Ten miles from Memphis
Walking this night, lonely
A heretic full of rage
I see a red glow,
A velvet ruffle
Over the night skyline?
Is Graceland Burning?