My Crazy Drunken Night...

[Shananigans]

Poll question: My Crazy Drunken Night...

I just wanted to share with you all my crazy drunken night. I have been drinking about a third of what I used to lately (that whole growing up thing, I think) but I went out this weekend with some friends and got pretty out of it! In my state I met this nice gentleman (or so I thought) and hung out with him at my friends house for an after bar party. Sometime in the course of the night we played a little kissy face and continued for a bit. I made it clear that this was not a normal practice for me and he was totally cool about it. When he finally left I hesitated (as sometimes it's best to take a situation for what it was and move on), but asked him if it would be dumb it I got his number. He was like "oh, yeah for sure!" and put his number in my phone for me (at my request, as I couldn't remember how to add numbers). He left and I was going to go to bathroom and bed when I heard someone come into the house. As I exited the bathroom I heard the door close and saw him walking towards the car again. I figured he must have left something, but I didn't want to run out and make sure he got it, so I figured I'd call him. And I did. Guess what....

The number he gave me was WRONG! Hahaha...I was shocked and appalled, as I had given him several outs on the number thing and wouldn't have really cared if he had avoided the question, etc, but to give me a wrong number? Hmmmmm...I was puzzled, but was going to go to bed and forget all about it when.... he came back AGAIN. Apparently he had forgot his jacket and the first time he came into the house didn't realize it was in the closet. The second time he grabbed it and smiled... Now...at this point I could have left it as it was...smiled and said nothing...but I just couldn't do it.

So I said "can I ask you a question?" and he's like "yeah, what's up" and I'm like "I tried calling your number to see if you left anything, as I heard you come in when I was in the bathroom...and I see that the number you gave me is obviously wrong... Why didn't you just say you didn't want me to call you...or why didn't you just avoid giving me your number?" The look on his face was PRICELESS! Seriously, he was so shocked that I caught him in his scheme. He totally denied it and said he must have put a number in wrong. He even went so far as to look in my phone and say "see, I accidently changed the 0...it should have been a 1" I still called bullshit on him and he left rather sheepishly, but still denying it. :)

Now I have to say, normally my pride would be a little hurt...I mean I did make out with him for 3 hours and thought there was SOME connection there. But the fact that I actually caught him in the act of deception and being an ass was priceless. I'm a little at odds with it, but I think the look on his face made up for all the men who have ever done anything assholeish to me before!

I feel somewhat liberated but slightly guilty because he DID seem like a genuinely nice guy. But his actions implied otherwise at the end of the night. :) Women Power!

What would you have done in my situation?

[MissBrooks]

1. Why?

Why would you even bother?
He didn't ask YOU for your number - but you felt compelled to ask for his?

How about buying that book, "He's just not that into you!" for yourself for Xmas this year.



:party:

[Shananigans]

2. Actually, I have the book.

Although I have to say that I only agree with about 50% of it based on interviews with male friends and other sources.

As for the why bother... I'm a liberated kinda woman. I don't believe that the guy has to do all the work and I like to keep control of the situation for myself. I don't give my number out so why wait for him to ask. The number aquisition happened about 15 minutes before he left so I figured I wouldn't wait around to see if he actually WOULD ask me.

[MissBrooks]

11. But... if he doesn't ask

If he doesn't ask, he's not interested enough in you to pursue you.

I'm not talking about 1950s dating attitude - I'm talking about taking pride in yourself and not begging a guy to go out with you.

If he hasn't brought up seeing you again - he's not that into you.

[skygazer]

13. Again, why does it have to be the guy who asks?

Do you automatically assume that if a woman doesn't ask a man for his phone number, she's not interested in him? You ARE talking about a 1950's dating attitude because you're assuming that the only one who has any business asking for a number is a guy and if he doesn't, he's obviously not interested. The world doesn't necessarily work that way anymore, thank goodness!

Is it "begging" when a guy asks for a number? Is it "begging" when a guy asks for a date? Christ, I hate that attitude, that if a woman expresses any interest at all, she's somehow throwing herself at the man with no pride and dignity at all.

To the original poster -

This guy used a ploy that women have been using for as long as the phone has been in existence - that of giving a wrong number. We do it, and guys do it too, so we can get out of seeing this person again without hurting their feelings face to face or trying to come up with a viable reason not to give it to them.

Guys have been asking for numbers and getting rejected for eons - now women have an equal opportunity to get shot down. We have to do the same thing guys do - shrug it off and try again (while bitching to our friends about it). No big deal.

[crispini]

17. On the one hand,

I agree with you that the woman can and should feel free to ask a guy for his phone number if she wants to.

On the other hand, in my experience, if a guy's really into a girl, he WILL chase. And if the girl wants the guy for anything other than, well, *cough*fun ... she should give him the chance to chase. They need to work for it.

And, re: the OP -- well, he may have actually just gotten the number in wrong. Who knows? I'd give him the benefit of the doubt. :shrug:

[Shananigans]

40. Begging?

Since WHEN did the question of "do you want to hang out" become the man's question? Why should the man always have to ask?

Doesn't make sense...

[jellybelly]

12. men like doing all the work

if they don't come after you with crazy stalker eyes they are either not into you or they are gay.
And he didn't want to hurt your feelings by reufusing to give you his number. He must have thought you wouldn't call him after 2 seconds!:silly:
well you showed him:P !

[skygazer]

14. "men like doing all the work"

This is bullshit too. No, they don't, at least not most of the men I know. It's a pain in the ass always being the one who has to make those scary moves - all my male friends love it when a woman offers a phone number or asks for theirs, or asks them on a date, for that matter. Or initiates sex.

[crispini]

18. Well, but you know, there's a fine line between

occasionally asking the guy out, or sending appropriate signals to the guy that your interest would be welcomed, and, as the girl, doing too much work.

Honestly, I can't TELL you how many times I've ended up in, as, what I considered to be a liberated woman, a relationship where I was doing all the driving, all of the asking out, all of the initiating -- and -- he just wasn't that into me. Never again.

[Kipepeo]

10. What does that mean?

Only a guy can ask for a number? sheesh.

That book is total bullshit in my opinion. I can't believe Oprah lent her name to that shit. The last thing I need is more advice from another GUY on how to be a better woman and get his attention. I would like to write a book for that author: "She never asked for your opinion, douchebag."

[Shananigans]

3. oooh...also...any feedback on why men do this sort of thing...

...

[WCGreen]

8. Same reason women do it....

I got and gave false numbers when I was out and about......

[Guaranteed]

4. It sounds like this guy was REALLY drunk.

Came back to the house twice?

?????? Why?

Yeah, it doesn't surprise me at all that he had trouble getting his number into your phone.

I dunno...you been striking out a lot lately? Sounds like you might have gotten a little defensive...

[prof_science]

5. Oh, no. You didn't.

(oh yes he dih-id)

[Guaranteed]

6. Wha?

:)

Just saying it sounds like the guy was wasted.

[prof_science]

7. Sorry, being an idiot.

Just sayin'-- you came out and said that perhaps she may have been a bit defensive, rather than playing along and reinforcing the notion that the guy was the weirdo. So I was mock defending her honor, etc...

blah blah, I REALLY should get to bed :)

[Guaranteed]

9. Ahhh, I see...

Well, in that case, pistols or swords? :P

[Shananigans]

41. Nah, he wasn't that drunk. It was 7 a.m. and he had been

drinking water since I met him at seven. He came back into the house the first time to try and find his jacket. He didn't know where I went so he went to look in his car again. When he didn't find it there he came back in as he remembered it was hung up in the closet.

And no...the next day my friend tried the "other number" by changing the one and zero around like he claimed. Still didn't work. ;)

And I definately got a little defensive. But not too openly!

[Phillycat]

15. Definitely don't ask him for his number in the first place.

You were a drunk girl he met at a bar and made out with. It's not like this is the foundation for a lasting relationship (yes, I'm sure it's happened here or there, but the vast majority of drunken hookups do NOT end up in a committed relationship.) If you're going to start things like that, then take it for what it is and say goodbye at the end of the night. If you'd like to see the guy again, then refrain from getting shitfaced and sucking face with him.

Sorry if I sound harsh.

[Guaranteed]

16. GAAAACK don't say "hookups."

I can't STAND that shit.

I can just see my friend Marty saying, "So, did you guys hook-up?"

GOD DAMN it's a ridiculous term to use in that context.

LOL sorry :)

[Phillycat]

19. Whatever.

That's what it's called. :shrug:

[Guaranteed]

20. No, it's called "fornication," okay? nt

[crispini]

21. What? It's a hookup.

In the oh-so-amorphous modern usage of the word, which means about 10,000 different things, that's what it is.

[Guaranteed]

22. GAAACK PLEASE stop saying that.

It's not "a hookup."

I don't know what "cool" thirteen-year-old first started using that term, but those that followed are up there with whoever coined "bodywash." SO lame.

[skygazer]

23. Hookup, hookup, hookup

Sorry, couldn't resist.....

But really, what do you call it? "Relationship" sure doesn't work.

[Guaranteed]

25. LOL it's SO MUCH worse, too, when it's used as a noun...

"to hook-up" isn't nearly as bad as "a hookup"...still bad, though.

Personally, I prefer a "drunken romp in the sack." Or how about "sexcapade?" Or a "fuck," even?

[skygazer]

27. "Sexcapade" is not good

It's too tabloidish. And "drunken romp" makes me think tabloid too - they're always talking about "so and so's intimate romp" or whatever.

"Fuck" is good, though. ;)

[Guaranteed]

30. LOL hey, I'm comfortable with everything but that one...

Can hardly explain it.

[crispini]

28. How explicit!

"Hookup" has a nice veil of mystery. It doesn't JUST mean "romp in the sack" or "sexcapade." It could be anything from just kissing all the way up to action, or anything in between. That's why I like it. It allows me to tell people that "action occured" but not exactly HOW MUCH action.

[crispini]

24. What else are ya gonna call it?

UrbanDictionary.com:

1. hookup

a term meaning when people:1)make out or sleep together 2)come together

1)It's our third date, I think I'm going to hookup with him tonight.2)I'm going to hookup with John and Gina around 9:00 at the bar later.

Which is actually sort of supported by the official dictionary:

www.m-w.com

Main Entry: hook up
Function: intransitive verb
: to become associated especially in a working or social relationship

[Guaranteed]

26. Again, the verb isn't AS bad as the noun.

But there are all kinds of other terms for fucking, or making out.

See, these kids like that term because it's deliberately non-descript. I understand how useful that can be, but they should find another one.

[crispini]

29. Why? I like being non-descript. :D n/t

[Guaranteed]

31. No, I totally understand the usefulness of the word...

Although, it might be that part that bothers me...no, probably not. Could be, though. Just can't figure...it out. What the hell is it?

I dunno. I just think the word oughta be changed. Can't imagine 30 year olds using it LOL

"So, yeah, the kids went off to school and my wife and I had this great hookup..."

[skygazer]

32. That's why I call the guy I live with my hubby

We're not married and have no plans to be but "boyfriend" sounds pretty silly when you're 44 years old and "significant other" is too much of a mouthful as well as sounding very clinical. "My guy" sounds too possessive somehow, "my lover" too explicit. "The man I live with" too long and too generic.

So I just call him hubby. :shrug:

[CTLawGuy]

33. I think its wrong to give someone a fake phone #

because it involves dishonesty. I (at least) am offended when someone is dishonest with me when I have every reason to believe they will be honest.

i would rather hear, "Sorry, I am not interested in you," rather than a bunch of "hints".

It's analogous to pulling a bandaid off of someone slowly rather than all at once, on the grounds that it will be "less painful".

[Guaranteed]

34. Yeah, it's all part of the "hookup" generation

:eyes:

[bobbobbins]

35. as a man and a wuss...

i never ask a girl for their number, I fear rejection...so if a girl asks mine, more power to her. The big question here is, why make out with a guy whos a total ass. Us nice guys get left with no action while douche bags who leave wrong numbers get all the 3 hour make out sessions.

[crispini]

36. Re: numbers --

Ya gotta get over the fear of rejection and just ask for the digits, fella! It really doesn't hurt that much. :)

And, re: total asses-- well, ya know, the guy who doesn't ask for the candy, doesn't get the candy. The guy who asks-- might get! Speaking just for myself, I am an obnoxious pushy funny broad, and I prefer to date guys who are similarly rowdy, :evilgrin: so "nice" by itself just don't cut it. :shrug:

[Guaranteed]

37. The key is to get rejected like a hundred times.

Then, what the hell is one more? :)

[CTLawGuy]

38. fella! It really doesn't hurt that much. :)

and you know this how? How many GUYS have given YOU fake phone numbers or the constant run around?

[crispini]

39. Oooooo... you want a list?

Settle down, grab some popcorn & hot chocolate and I'll give you a numbered list and embellish it with crispini's Tales of Dating Terror! :D

No, I won't... that would be dull. And worse, it would be TELLING, and I don't kiss and tell. :evilgrin: But believe you me, I have Been Around The Block a few times. Guys don't call, guys just disappear, guys give you some big ol bullshit story.... Ya gotta learn to roll with the punches in the dating world. It's tough out there! But, if you don't buy a ticket, you're CERTAINLY not going to win the lottery. :D

[Shananigans]

42. REally though...I am usually a GREAT judge of character...

and he seemed great. We talked everything from politics to work and had a debate over who was the biggest liberal. Overall it was great conversation... hence the reason I was a bit confused with the wrong number thing...