Self-Confidence

[AlienGirl]

I seem to have misplaced my self-confidence.

Does anyone know what self-condfidence is, where it comes from, what happened to mine (if I wasn't just born without it!), and how to get it back?

Tucker

[rbnyc]

1. You're off to a good start...

...by recognizing that it's something you deserve to have.

I don't know any (or many) secrets, but my confidence comes mostly from acting confidently and then not getting my ass kicked.

;-)

[trof]

2. Self-confidence comes from guessing right

several times in a row.
That's the best I can do.
;-)

[Raenelle]

3. Screw self-confidence.

Really. The best antidote to everything is to quit worrying about yourself and try to focus on what you're supposed to do next (if you're in the minor leagues like me) or on how to help others (if you're in the major leagues).

Things are fairly easy and clear-cut for me, because I'm a recovering alcoholic, so I was REALLY very dangerously screwed up, then found a solution. For me, when I first got sober I didn't have much self-esteem or self-confidence. I thought I was pretty worthless. Looking back, that wasn't a perception problem. I really was worthless, a liar, cheat and whore, selfish to the bone. So, with me, it was fairly easy. I didn't have a perception problem--I had a living problem, or a being problem. All I had to do was change who I was, then as a side product of that my self-perception began to change, to correspond more closely to the reality.

But whether it's a living problem like I had, or a perception problem, where you really are OK but can't quite grasp that, I still think the solution is to quit caring about it and focus more on things like duty and service. Do the next right thing, as they say in AA. Or, more to the point, bring the body, and the mind will follow. Or, same thing by Woody Allen, 80% of life is showing up.

[Skittles]

4. I certainly could not tell you, Tucker

but do let me know what you find out. :)

[arcane1]

5. hmm.. will you let us know how, if you find it?

self-confidence can be a rarity indeed

but we all love ya here! :loveya:

[Cheswick2.0]

6. self confidence and self estime

they both come from accomplishment and a feeling of being responsible and capable. There is no other magic than that.
If you don't have those feelings about yourself, other people telling you that you are wonderful or capable just isn't going to cut it.

Take the steps you need to prove to yourself that you are going in that direction and you will be just fine. Then you won't care so much what other people think.

[lpbk2713]

7. It helps to have a touch of arrogance and audacity.

You may have been raised to consider these traits undesirable. It might be your own ethos that is standing in your way.

[sangh0]

8. Do something nice for someone who needs help

There's nothing like helping someone else to make one feel good about oneself