I Am A HORRIBLE Uncle!!

[matcom]

well, actually, i'm a GREAT Uncle, just a HORRIBLE brother! :D

my fundie sister has a 3 year old. this year for xmas, little Mitch is receiving a LOUD, TOY, ELECTRIC GUITAR WITH BUILT IN DRUM SYNTHESIZER!!!

also comes with portable microphone so he can push buttons that play Heavy Metal riffs AND sing as LOUD as he WANTS!!

:bounce:

this thing is SURE to drive her crazy and make him HAPPY AS HELL at the same time! :D

Mrs Matcom thinks i'm being mean.

she is right :P

[DS1]

1. There was, at one point, a racing board game

where in order to move your pieces, you had to scream as loud as you could into a tube, I wish I'd got one, just so I could save it for the right moment x(

[redqueen]

2. No, you are my hero.

:loveya:

[Not_Giving_Up]

3. My parents bought obnoxious, noisy toys for my kids

when they were little. We'd take them home, but on the next visit to grandma's, we take those toys back...saying that they needed toys to play with there. HA!

[bleedingheart]

4. now that is funny...

and I am a mother with young kids...

the loud toys don't bother me at all... I have parental hearing...

[Cuban_Liberal]

5. You.... are..... EVIL!!!!!!

LMAO!

:P :yourock: :spank:

[underpants]

6. Well there is the "alternative" gift

[matcom]

9. some day i'll tell you the story of "Percy"

the doll my mother bought my niece.

short version is:

in the store, "Percy" had a pink diaper. Mom bought it and brought it home. decided to wash the diaper before sending it down. removed diaper. "Percy" is actually a male and 100% anatomically CORRECT!

folds, creases, proportioned, etc.... :D

what a fucking HOOT

[jonnyblitz]

11. holy crap I bought that exact thing as a key-chain in Amsterdam

at "the gay kiosk" for tourists!! if you squeeze it he will say these real cliche gay things in a lilting voice like YO HO HO HONEY! My sister thought it was a riot so I gave it to her..

[underpants]

13. Small world

huh?

[jonnyblitz]

21. yup

:thumbsup:

[democracyindanger]

7. hehe I did the same thing

for the first 5 or 6 years of my nephew's life. Every gift had to meet 1 of 2 criteria: Loud or messy. :D

[MuseRider]

8. You are a terrific Uncle!

That is a really cool toy. I gave stuff like that to my boys because they loved it, you can tune it out eventually but if it drives her crazy then that is also a plus I guess. He will love you for it.

[roguevalley]

10. beats the set of drums my sister-in-law gave my nephew. (Pun

intended) :-D

[Gelliebeans]

12. Hell no Matcom

it's just brilliant

[Maddy McCall]

14. I bought a fundie friend's son a cowboy set with a pair of handcuffs...

for his birthday a couple of years ago. All was well until he handcuffed their rottweiller to the wicker settee on the front porch, and the rottie tore through the neighborhood with said settee in tow.

And, by that time, the kid had lost the key to the handcuffs, so dad had to use a hacksaw to sever the dog from the settee. It was a funny sight. Dad, the fundie, cursed like I have never heard a Christian man curse. :evilgrin:

[crispini]

18. LOL, that's too funny.

I can just see it.

[name not needed]

15. Be sure to teach him "Number of the Beast"

I'm sure she'll enjoy that }(

[matcom]

16. right. immediately after

he masters the entire "British Steele" album. Priest comes first you know :D

[DS1]

20. I assume you've completed tailoring his studded leather chaps

[matcom]

22. fuck YEAH!

bought him a toddler-sized leather riding crop that he can hold in his teeth! :D

[Maddy McCall]

17. HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Excellent post! :thumbsup:

[matcom]

24. Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner

he is working on the solo now :D

[amandae]

19. LOL! I can't wait until my niece gets older!

Then I'll be buying her all of that stuff :evilgrin:. People (my brother included) have been buying those things for my kids for years now ... it's payback time!!

Good choice on your gift! :hi:

[mdmc]

23. a line from Diamond Joe Quimby "Now remember, if anyone asks

your my niece from out of town."

Joe's niece replies, "But I am your niece, Uncle Joe."

Quimby groans, "I'm an abomination."

[Lone_Star_Dem]

25. It's your job as an Uncle to provide such things.

Just as it's also the job of a Grandparent. I CANNOT wait to torture my daughter once she has a child. :evilgrin:

[matcom]

26. i like your thought process

:D