My response to an anti-Muslim e-mail that someone got on another thread:

[SmileyBoy]

This is from an idiotic Anti-Muslim crap-mail that someone on DU was given by a racist friend/relative, and this was my original response to the racist e-mail in that thread. But I just want to share it with all of you.

As a Muslim, I was very deeply offended and hurt by this garbage, and wanted to debunk it. So here it goes. My responses are in parentheses, the original tripe is on the top of them:

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ENLIGHTENMENT

(Oh, this should be fucking fun. I can't wait...)

Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick
to commit suicide. Let's see now.......................

(Oh, PLEASE continue, oh wise one.)

No Jesus

(Muslims believe in Jesus as a messenger of God, we don't worship him, tho. But he IS mentioned many times in the Koran, so strike one.)

No Christmas

(I celebrate Christmas as a secular holiday, strike two.)

No television

(I watch as much TV as the next guy, strike three.)

No cheerleaders

(I think most of 'em are hot - especially the Laker Girls - and would go out with one in a New York Minute if she asked me out, strike four.)

No baseball

(I don't care much for non-playoff baseball, but if I want to catch a game on the tube, There's nothing to stop me. And I played Little League for three years as a kid, strike four)

No football

(I eat, sleep and BREATHE football, JACKASS. I'm employed by a friggin' FOOTBALL TEAM. I watch games on Saturdays and Sundays RELIGIOUSLY (notice the pun) and I bleed Vikings purple and gold, with some NDSU Bison green thrown in, strike five.)

No basketball

(Die-hard Timberwolves fan and aquaintences with Kevin Garnett, here. STRIKE SIX. You're halfway to a perfect game, my friend.)

No Hockey

(I used to be a die-hard Winnipeg Jets fan, and I play it with my friends every weekend in the winter. I played hockey up until 8th grade. Remember, I also fast on Ramadan, too. Remember who you're talking to. Strike seven.)

No golf

(I think golf fucking SUCKS, so I'll give you one. You're 1-7 for the season so far.)

No tailgate parties

(I tailgate with my friends before EVERY Bison home game. Strike eight.)

No Wal-Mart

(I'm boycotting the fucking thing, so you're 2-8 so far.)

No Home Depot

(I go there every once in a while if I need something for a lock on my door, or something else, strike nine.)

No pork BBQ

(I occaisonally eat pork and pork BBQ, because the "No pork rule" is not an obligation in Islam. It's recommended, but it is said that if you pray to Allah, he'll forgive. I have no personal qualms about eating pork. It's just that I've been eating less of it. Strike ten.)

No hot dogs

(See above, strike eleven.)

No burgers

(Nothing wrong with beef in Islam, also see above. Strike twelve. CONGRADULATIONS!!!! A 300 SCORE!!!)

No chocolate chip cookies

(I don't even know what the FUCK you're trying to get at here, so I'll just chalk up another strike for you. Thirteen.)

No lobster

(It's fucking expensive, but again, nothing's stopping me from eating lobster once a year at the holidays, which is within my budget means. Strike fourteen.)

No shellfish or even frozen fish sticks

(I hate fish, just because I don't like the taste. You're 3-14 and last place in the division.)

No gumbo

(I'll eat gumbo once in a while if I'm at Popeye's fried Chicken. Strike fifteen.)

No jambalaya

(See above, re: Popeye's.)

Rags for clothes and towels for hats.

(Um, My Rage Against The Machine t-shirt and NDSU Bison football hat doesn't fit your description. Strike sixteen.)

Constant wailing from the guy next-door because he's sick and there are no doctors. Constant wailing from the guy in the tower.

(I don't live in that type of college dorm. And WHAT guy in the tower?? Strike seventeen.)

More than one wife.

(I'm single. Strike eighteen.)

You can't shave.

(I shave two or three times a week. Strike nineteen.)

Your wives can't shave.

(I'll just give you another strike here. Twenty.)

You can't shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung.

(You're pissing the fuck outa me, now. Strike twenty-one.)

The women have to wear baggy dresses and veils at all times. Your bride is picked by someone else. She smells just like your donkey. But your donkey has a better disposition.

(Say whatever the hell crazy shit you want. I don't give a damn. Your stupidity is eminating the energy of a million red giant stars. Strike twenty-two. I should give you an extra five of 'em, just because of how STUPID and IDIOTIC you sounded.)

Then they tell you that when you die it all gets better! I mean, really, is there a mystery here?

(No, I think it's a mystery that someone like you has the same genetic characteristics of a human being that I do, and that you're the same SPECIES as me. I think it's a mystery that assholes like YOU are allowed to say this kind of racist, bigoted garbage out in the open and the mainstream media. I think it's a REAL GODDAMN fucking mystery on HOW GOD GAVE PEOPLE LIKE YOU THE ABILITY TO BREED!!!! And no, you're wrong. When I die, it WILL all get better. That's because I will be living in eternal salvation in heaven, while YOU will be roasting in the eternal lake of fire for PISSING OFF GOD by spewing this nonsense.)

But on a lighter note, you finished 3-22, and DEAD LAST in the National Idiots League. You're gonna have to get a new coaching staff and front office if you even want to THINK of getting to the playoffs next year.

Fuckwad.

[SmileyBoy]

1. Pathetic kick

:kick:

[JohnKleeb]

2. Morans real sorry to see your religion trashed like this man

Ive had it done to my faith which technically is Catholicism, then again I can pass for Agnostic or Uniteran Univeralist. On your religion's view on Christ some of the Muslim kids in my philosophy class bring that up. Its a unique group in there, I love that class, we got athiests, christians who can sound agnostic(me) lol, Jewish people, Muslims, and Hindus and more. Its such a fun class. I think you just met the Detroit Tigers of religious understanding there northwest.

[Astarho]

3. kick (here's my responce)

this crap says more about Americans then it does about Muslims.

> > No television,
> > No cheerleaders,
> > No baseball,
> > No football,
> > No basketball,
> > No hockey,
> > No golf,
> > No tailgate parties,
> > No pork BBQ,
> > No hot dogs,
> > No burgers,
> > No chocolate chip cookies.
> > No lobster,
> > No shellfish, or even frozen fish sticks,
> > No gumbo,
> > No jambalaya.

TRANSLATION: Americans consider sporting events, parties, TV, and stuffing our already bloated pieholes to be more important then anything else (Yeah people are starving in Africa, but is Rachel going to pick Ross or Joey?). They also give us something other to think about than our empty meaningless lives.

> > Rags for clothes and towels for hats.
> >
> > Constant wailing from the guy next-door because he's sick and
> > there are no doctors. Constant wailing from the guy in the tower.
> >
> > More than one wife.
> > You can't shave.
> > Your wives can't shave.
> > You can't shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over
> > burning camel dung.
> >
> > The women have to wear baggy dresses and veils at all times. Your
> > bride
> > is picked by someone else. She smells just like your donkey.
> > But your donkey has a better disposition.

TRANSLATION: We don't know much about the rest of the world or even care to learn about those smelly foreigners with their funny customs.

> > No Christmas.
> > No Wal-Mart,
> > No Home Depot,

TRANSLATION: The secret of life is not friends or family, it's things. We like buying things because it makes us feel good, and keeps us from thinking about our empty meaningless lives.

> > No Jesus,

That's hilarious, didn't he say things like "love thy neighbor" and "turn the other cheek". Many people profess love of Jesus, but don't have a clue about his teachings.

> > Then they tell you that when you die it all gets better!
> > I mean, really, is there a mystery here?

Just out of curiosity, what is the suicide rate of a stable Muslim country (like Iran, Turkey, or Indonesia) compared to the US.

[SmileyBoy]

4. Well, I do know that there were NO Al-Qaida cells in Turkey pre-9/11.

Don't know about the suicide rate there, tho. I'm Turkish, so I get a lot of info from my relatives. I know that there's quite a few sullen teenagers in Turkey, but I don't think that suicide risk is intertwined with any religious fanaticism, or anything.

[JohnKleeb]

8. I didnt know you were Turkish

:hi: Your people once occupied mine, I am part from the Balkans area.

[SmileyBoy]

14. Yeah, that was the Ottomans, tho (not the Turks).

The idea of being a "Turk" in an ethno-national sense started with Kemal Ataturk after WWI.

The Ottomans conquered all those lands just to get a bunch of tax money. There was no atrocities that I know of by them, and I hope not. (The so-called "American Genocide" of the Armenians is a debateable event). Also, my great-grandfather was the chief foreign minister of the Ottoman Empire in the 1880's and 1890's.

[JohnKleeb]

17. Sorry man

Thats really cool about your great grandfather though. You know what my great grandfather was well the one whose ancestors were occupied by you all, a coal miner :). Another was one too, another a building engineer, and the other a printer. The latter two were Irish and German and had been here for like 60 years by the time their children were born their families that is. My mom's family are noobs to this country lol. Well from what I hear the Ottomans were somewhat tolerant, Stupid Austrian Hungarian bastards thank god we are free now, same goes with Ireland from the English. lol sorry for the rant. I am 75% commie lol because 3 of my ancestral lands were communist at one time. hehe :)

[SmileyBoy]

21. I think it's cool that you're all those nationalities.

I'm technically half Finnish too, but because of the atheistic communistic nature of my mother's side of my family, I chose my Turkish father's religion. He's a Turkish immigrant who's been in the US for 28 years now.

One of my great-uncles on my mother's side died fighting for the communists in the Spanish Civil War, and there's a statue of him in Hibbing, MN. Another great-uncle was the regional director for the Communist Party in NE Minnesota. But that has no bearing on my beliefs tho, cause even though my mother is pretty communist, I'm very anti-commie. Instead, I'm a Canadian-style pseudo-socialist.

Also, my father is a Cyprus War veteran. He fought against Greece in 1974. There's some interesting history, eh???

[Astarho]

22. I was curious because

The spam crap made it like Islam was so bad that everyone wanted to die and I thought that America had a higher suicide rate then most stable Muslim countries.

The idea of being a "Turk" in an ethno-national sense started with Kemal Ataturk after WWI.

This is just a personal question, but is it true that some Turks (the ones who live in the country in Anatolia) consider themselves "Anatolians"?

[SmileyBoy]

25. Anatolia is a geographical region, to my knowledge.

So I guess it would be like me saying I'm a "Midwesterner".

[Astarho]

26. I knew Anatolia

was a geographical region which is whay I was curious, so I guess and people not particularly nationalistic considered themselves Anatolian, much as people here consider themselves "New Englanders" or "Midwesterners" or "Southerners".

Thanks.

[dweller]

30. Funny, with that accent i'd have thought you

were a northwestener? :)

I am glad you had the opportunity to return the hatred you experienced in that email with a full and logical rebuttal with your friends here, which i include myself, and wish you only the strength in the future to put the waste in the refuse bin.

refuse to fall to the level of hate
stay centered in whatever you know to be peace
and continue to point those who are lost in that direction.
for in the end, it all comes down to you and what you know as god.
and the true reconciliation begins.

peace
dp

[NicoleM]

5. tailgating

"(I tailgate with my friends before EVERY Bison home game. Strike eight.)"

Dude, that's illegal now! Be careful. :)

[leftist_rebel1569]

6. Seriously, I apologise and empathize

It's so hard to believe people can be this ignorant and just plain stupid...and wtf is up with no Wal-Mart? I mean, come on! If a megaloretail store is THAT good, especially Wal-Mart, then you SERIOUSLY have problems. Sometimes it just makes me ashamed to be an american, to know that people actually write and spread this bullshit...

[JohnKleeb]

11. One of the reasons I call myself

American, Slovenian, Irish, German, and Slovak, yeah laugh at me but I still have some ties to old country. Isnt it interesting that northwest's people once occupied ours, I remember Derek you telling youre part Croat, the Ottomans occupied us. So yeah I am an ethnic person although I dont really show it outwardly like on shirts but I do express it by saying my desire to return someday and if I have to maybe to immigrate. BTW wouldnt mind it if you gave me an IM right about now.

[NicoleM]

7. on a more serious note

My family built the first mosque in North America (in Ross, ND). My family is no longer Muslim, but I started researching Islam and reading the Koran a while ago. I don't know much yet, but I like a lot of the things I know so far.

[JohnKleeb]

9. Thats real interesting Nicole

I assume they were Syrian? Lebenese? many early Middle Eastern immigrants were just that and so is Helen Thomas, who happens to be one of the bravest reporters out there.

[NicoleM]

10. Lebanese.

From just outside Beirut, I think.

I love Helen Thomas. :)

[JohnKleeb]

12. Cool

A sort of friend of mine is half. No I think Thomas is Lebanese too my mistake not Syrian. Somewhere in the middle east. In fact many of the earliest arab immigrants have been here longer than my mom's side of the family. The Eastern European side. I havent met anyone who is Arab who has been here that long but I do know they exist and are mostly in the midwest.

[SmileyBoy]

15. A good friend of mine in HS was a Lebanese Christian.

Before that, I didn't even realise that a good portion of the Lebanese population isn't Muslim. You learn new things around different folks.

[SmileyBoy]

13. The ironic thing is (regarding a local mosque)

The new mosque in South Fargo that I pray at every Friday used to be a Jewish community center. The local Muslim community didn't care about that, they just wanted a larger place to pray. Talk about tolerant.

[NicoleM]

16. Waaay up in North Fargo

just south of the airport, there's a Jewish cemetary. I went for a walk one day when I lived there and saw it. I was kind of surprised.

I read an article in the Forum a while back about how the Jewish community in Fargo was down to like single digits. Who even knew there was a Jewish community in Fargo?

[SmileyBoy]

18. Well, there's a LOT more Muslims in Fargo than Jews.

And yes, there's virtually no Jewish community here to speak of. It's Lutheran, Catholic, and to a smaller extent, Muslim here in F-M. There's been a good influx of Kurdish and Sudanese immigrants and refugees here, which is good, because as a result, I feel more comfortable with my religion here. The city is 92 percent white, also.

[JohnKleeb]

19. all I know about Fargo is thats where Roger Maris was from

and that it may or may not be the location of the movie Fargo. I was looking at something and the non angloness of some of the midwest was interesting. I am no anglo lol and proud of it lol.

[NicoleM]

20. Brainerd, MN

is where most of the movie Fargo takes place. However, in honor of the DVD release, the city of Fargo got a lovely statue of Marge today. Okay, maybe not lovely, more like creepy. You betcha! ;)

[SmileyBoy]

24. That's in front of the Fargo Theatre, I think.

I had classes today and I'm sick too, so I couldn't go to the unveiling.:-(

[SmileyBoy]

23. Only the first scene was shot there, my friend.

The place was the bar where Jerry Lundegaard met the kidnappers. I actually went to that bar before for drinks. It's just west of downtown on N. 7th Street.

Also, the Coen Brothers and AL FRANKEN graduated from the same high school as me. St. Louis Park High School.

[FloridaJudy]

27. Oh, Urk!

You cannot believe how sorry I am that you got this one...

Some so-called "Christian" ding-bats have forwarded it to me about six times (all of us non-Christians are terrorists, doncha know).

Ignore them; these people are butt-ignorant about any Religion but their own, and they haven't a clue about Christianity as well. There are lots of us (Jews, Pagans, Agnostics, Christians, Buddhists) who respect our Moslem neighbor's beliefs.

Don't judge the Christians by the idiots! Like Moslems, most of them are far nicer than their stereotypes.

[SmileyBoy]

28. I didn't recieve it, another DUer recieved it, but I just replied to it.

I HAD to say something.

[Dogmudgeon]

29. And the slashing comeback:

"Tell me, were you born ignorant, or did you have to work at it?"

--bkl