My first years in teaching were highlighted by some interesting school administrators.
Mr. Crocus was the assistant principal at the first school I taught at. He had been a PE coach at the high school level for twenty-five years until they kicked him upstairs - he couldn't blow the whistle anymore, is the reason they gave for getting him out of PE. Mr. Crocus was a nice guy, I guess, but he smelled like kerosene and often got lost in the halls.
We knew it was his last year, because the parents kept complaining about his attire. He'd buy the suits and wear the bags. Last we heard, Mr. Crocus had a gig writing test items for the FCAT.
**************** Mr. Crocus was replaced by Jackie "Jack" Martowski. She was transferred from a nearby high school, where she was the head coach for the football team. Apparently, she went through a painful operation which left her unable to coach or to even go into the locker rooms.
Ms. Martowski was an effective disciplinarian, but eventually had to retire, because, as she told me, her operation never fully took. She works now in some club on Nebraska Avenue in Tampa. I guess we had a rough faculty back then, because we couldn't even keep an AP.
**************** After my first year teaching, I transfered to PW Herman High.
Here's the principal of Herman High, Mr. Leslie LePtomaine. He was a goof. He liked to jump in the school's frog pond and play "find the tadpole."
Although he never bothered me, he was arrested at his home for some offense or something and now has to wear a big sign on his shirt about being an "offender" whenever he goes out in public.
**************** Mrs. Crankshaft was one of the few assistant principals I've known who enjoyed hall duty - especially bathroom monitoring - but I guess some boys began complaining and she was sent to work in the administration offices as the personal assistant to the superintendent.
**************** I finally transferred to the Iggy Stooge School for Performing Arts. They had this young AP, Mr. Jack Bates. Everybody liked him, but he was pretty nerdy if you ask me.
Mr. Bates had it made at the school, helping the school to win all sorts of art contests and music competitions, probably because he was good at recruiting artsy type kids from other schools who all wanted to perform for him. He was always baking them brownies and stuff and gave them a kickback for working the coke concession at events.
It's too bad he was caught playing the slide trombone solo in the music room. At least that's what I heard, and the picture seems to confirm it.
I don't know what that stuff is on Mr. Bate's nose, but he used to call it his Peruvian marching powder, whatever that means.
**************** Like many administrators, Mr. Blanco had a stuffed animal collection in his office. But Mr. Blanco gave the term stuffed animal an entirely new meaning.
He was always asking the office staff to pet his llama. Finally the staff got tired of it and while Mr. Blanco was at a quality leadership retreat, they gave all the stuffed pets to Goodwill. Goodwill wouldn't take them until they were laundered.
Mr. Blanco got busted a few years later for some sort of harrassment and now works at the district's farm. He's reportedly real good with the farm animals.