The Chimp can say all he wants about our supposed "culture of life", but his actions prove he's just trying to cull those he* has decided are undesireable.
I'm headed toward the same boat as you are due to my own health issues. (I've a protruding disc and I do have all the symptoms (though not always at once) of Ménière's disease:
http://oto.wustl.edu/men/mn1.htm - I'm damn grateful I'm slowly regaining my balance, but I wish the convolescence could wait until AFTER the EEG gets done. If nothing shows up, the counselor and the rest of the "brain gang" will decide it's all anxiety. And it isn't. Maybe some hystrionics are exacerbating the issues, but I am not filfully creating the issues.
The problem is not with you at all. It's with a cruel society that claims to be one thing but acts the exact opposite. I feel you're worth a lot more than any given corporate CEO.
We lefties need to stick together and even form 'communes' where we all pitch in as much as we can to pay the bills and be happy as our own mini-communities. I've a coworker who is a close friend who convinced me of this, the way our "culture of
bacte life" is heading. Unless Americans wake up, we have to find new ways to work within the so-called "system". (it's really not much different than living in an apartment complex...) As had been asked already, where do you live (PM if you'd prefer).
:hug: Giving up a pet is no fun, I hope things get better for you so you won't have to do that. Especially birds, which are very loving creatures.
I wish I could offer advice that would help your immediate crisis, but I'm about as clever as the squirrel that didn't make it across the road. But don't do anything stupid like ending your life. A close friend of mine reminded me of the same thing. All of us DUers are here for you online, if not more locally for some.