"Fight the stick, not the vacuum cleaner!"

[AlienGirl]

Just now, my cockatoo was fighting various objects, and I had to redirect his aggression to his stick (an old Swiffer handle) so he wouldn't chew holes in the vacuum cleaner's hose.

I found myself uttering the sentence, "Fight the stick, not the vacuum cleaner!" and realized how surreal that sounded.

What are some things you never thought you'd have to say?

Tucker

[Bertha Venation]

1. upon hearing cats fighting in the early morning hours:

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! People are trying to dread going to work!"

Yelled at my cats several weeks ago.

[ClintonTyree]

2. I never thought I'd have to say...................

George Bush is going to be a two term pResident.

Hell, I never thought I'd have to say George Bush was going to be pResident at all.

Strange days we're living in, strange days.

[OldLeftieLawyer]

3. I'm so ashamed

"I'm from the Department of the Interior, and I'm here to investigate complaints against your coal mine."

It was my first law job. Contrary to what everyone says, I can state with great personal authority that it is, indeed, possible to be fired by the Federal government.

<curtsey>

[AlienGirl]

4. "You can't eat chili with a Lego--use a spoon!"

[kittycat1164]

5. LOL n/t