|
People who have been single a long time have the hardest time finding someone, whereas someone who was happily married for many years and is widowed usually has a shorter wait. Those women who were independent souls during their marriages also have a harder time of it, because they aren't willing to be subjugated by a partner.
Men have similar dilemmas. I have stepson who is in his early 40s and never married. He has had a string of meaningless (according to him) relationships with women over the years and even fathered a child out of wedlock (a one-night stand, he claimed) and now he is tired of being alone. He fears growing old alone. I think the fear of being alone is not enough. You have to have something to offer another person if you seek a relationship.
Because of my life experience, which has brought me into contact with the public, I would be very hesitant to advertise in a newspaper or online for romance. There are people out there just waiting to victimize you.
If a man or woman wants to find a person for romance, here's what they should do:
Sit down and define what they want, who they are looking for, with very specific terms. Then realistically look at the pool of availables. Decide where these people are likely to be and what they are likely doing, and then seek those places out.
Usually this does not mean bars or casinos or chat rooms.
And, a person has to be truly open to others. My boss, a woman near 70, said she was devastated when her husband died of a heart attack several years ago. She thought she would never find another person she wanted to share her life with. She's a religious woman and attends church faithfully. Not my type of thing, but she is into it. Anyway, a man she had known for years, whose wife had died, started courting her at church about four years after her husband died. He would open doors for her, rushing to be there to do it, and would seek her out and speak at functions.
"He was not the type of man I would even have looked twice at," she said.
And then, one day, he opened a door for her and she looked up at him and saw his eyes.
"I looked into his eyes and I saw the person he was," she said. "And I knew that this was a very good man. A man who really loved me."
They have been married for about five years. He sends her flowers at the office, and he treats her like a queen.
She admits that had she been holding true to her choices, she would have overlooked him totally.
|
Printer-friendly format
Email this thread to a friend
Bookmark this thread
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
