Why I am not a mormon thread...

[aQuArius]

This how I am getting out of the 700 club. I don't want to offened any LDS DUers, but these are MY reasons for not being a mormon. I was raised in the heart of MO-ville, so let me begin... (I have to get out of this fundie club)...

[aQuArius]

1. I drink...

not everyday, just weekends I don't have the kids. :toast:

[aQuArius]

2. 10% tithing should not be mandatory...

I like to give to charity.... I LIKE TO CHOOSE the charity I give to, however...

[AntiCoup2K4]

3. Won't you miss the multiple wives?

And the possibility of being the God of your own planet someday? That's really one Hell of a bonus program when you think of it.

Not for me though. I'm useless without caffeine in the morning.

[aQuArius]

5. I will address all of these issues, believe me

Keep reading, I'll get there....

[PinkTiger]

6. Real Mormons don't have muliple wives anymore.

If they do, they would be disfellowshiped.
But they could probably still wear their special undies.

AHA! got myelf out of the 700 club with this one!

[aQuArius]

11. CONGRATS...

and a great thread to do it with.... :toast:

[aQuArius]

4. I have (responsible) relationships....

I believe in protection to the fullest, but exclusively married?? hah! I've been married, no thank you (for a while).....

[aQuArius]

7. COFFEE!!!!

COKE! PEPSI! ESPRESSO! CAPPUCCINO!! I LOVE CAFFEINE!! I AM ADDICTED, I ADMIT IT!! I WON'T GIVE IT UP!

[knowbody0]

10. did you do that door knocking thing when you turned 18?

[aQuArius]

12. Women can't go until 21

Boys can go at 19. And, HELL NO!!! LOL

[aQuArius]

8. Garments...

yes, the "holy" underwear.. I have to wear shorts well above my knee in the summer. A nice sleeveless shirt is OK. I LIVE IN TEXAS!!!!

[aQuArius]

9. Relief Society...

A group of mostly submissive, subservient women... NOT for ME!

[MuseRider]

20. Oooh, I hated the Relief Society!

HATED it. I am sitting here drinking a nice cuppa joe because I had a bit too much wine today and I need to get up and do the dishes so the caffeine is needed AND enjoyed (so was the wine). Relief Society, that is the first thing I totally spaced out of my brain when I left and you just brought it back. Damn that was awful.

[aQuArius]

22. I am TRULY sorry...

I still get nightmares too, sistah....

[aQuArius]

23. General Confrence..

2x's/year!!! Its great if you want to :boring:

[MuseRider]

25. Those books with the lessons!

OMG, I am certain I still have them. I get letters each month from the Relief Society, I can see the yellow, blue or pink paper through the envelope so I toss them without opening. There were actually a few pretty cool ladies in there but most were so very Stepford that it always felt just totally creepy and otherworldly. Sistah....it has been a long time since I used that term. Glad to know you.

[aQuArius]

28. Good to know someone who knows what its like

:hi:

[aQuArius]

13. Anti-homosexual beliefs...

Love one another, enough said.

[AntiCoup2K4]

46. Was that always the case though?

Forgot exactly where I read this, but I seem to remember something about the early LDS church leaders allowing gay unions.

BTW, there is a website for gay Mormons, believe it or not

http://www.affirmation.org/

[aQuArius]

74. I know! My dad's a member...

He went to this year's confrence in San Francisco. He like the "gospel" but doesn't agree with the extreme's the church has gone to.

[aQuArius]

14. Baptism of the Dead....

One Phrase: :wtf:

[AntiCoup2K4]

54. I heard that they intended to baptize all 6 million Jews......

....killed in the Holocaust. Now imagine you're one of these people. You've been in Heaven for some 60 years and one day you wake up to find your yarmulke missing and some strange underwear you have never seen before in it's place.

Without debating the theological accuracy of the whole thing itself, I can see the point in retro-baptizing one's own dead relatives, if you believe in the family as an eternal institution. But the retro-baptism of strangers seems very presumptuous, and the mass baptism idea sounds like a page out of the Moonie script.

[aQuArius]

76. EXACTLY!!!

:wtf: Baptism after your death = a choice you did not make

[yardwork]

93. Funniest post I've read all day. Tears in my eyes! Thank you!

[aQuArius]

97. I wish everyone would take it as light-hearted

:hi:

[aQuArius]

15. Million$$$ spent on ONE tabernacle

again: :wtf:

[aQuArius]

16. 97% Rethuglican

That speaks volumes!

[aQuArius]

17. Women can't hold the priesthood...

WHY NOT???

[aQuArius]

18. The Book of Mormon

and just where exactly is the proof of these brass plates, anyway? At least the Bible has the Dead Sea scrolls to back it up.

[aQuArius]

19. BYU

that place just gives me the willies

[aQuArius]

21. Homemaking, er.... I mean Enrichment night...

See #9...

[aQuArius]

24. The Bishop

A male-only person who you're supposed to tell all your sins to...

[aQuArius]

26. The Stake President

If you can get past the bishop, this Male-only person will ask you even more intimate questions... Good god!

[aQuArius]

27. The Temple

Only if you can make it past the bishop and the stake president can you get to the temple, where you learn a "secret handshake", dress all in white and wear a green apron signifying the "fig leaf of Adam" :wtf:

[aQuArius]

29. Sacrament Meeting

:boring: no good music, only a heavily medicated granny playing the organ. The "talks" are a great remedy for insomniacs

[aQuArius]

30. Fast & Testimony Meeting

This is the open mic. version of Sacrament meeting. Everyone gets up and gushes their "testimony" or mostly their bragging about their son who is on a mission, pass the tissue :boring: and the pillow

[MuseRider]

39. ARGGGGGGGGGGGGG

those last forever! It was the clean and non violent version of the Jerry Springer Show. The only good part was listening to everyones stomach growl and watching them all try to ignore it. I was not a good faster and my personal testimony would not have been welcome.

[aQuArius]

44. I really like the way you think

My testimony was never welcome either. Feminists just don't get a warm welcome, LOL!

[aQuArius]

31. Fast Offering

The 1st Sunday of every month I had to go into hiding when the door bell rang. Pretending not to be home is the only way to avoid giving more money (this is on top of the mandatory 10%):eyes:

[aQuArius]

32. Ward Basketball

I am anti-violence, enough said.

[aQuArius]

33. KSL Channel 5 or KSL 1160am

Conservative, mormon-owned media.

[aQuArius]

34. The Deseret News

See previous post.

[aQuArius]

35. Zions Bank...

Conservative, mormon-owned financial in$titution.

[aQuArius]

36. Be your own GOD!

As long as you follow every rule of the church you can rule over your own planet someday... :wtf:

[aQuArius]

37. The degrees of heaven... aka: The Celestial kingdom

You can go to the Celestial kingdom even if you don't get married or procreate. But, you won't get into the highest of the celestial kingdom if you don't. Oh! That makes TONS of sense!

[MuseRider]

41. IIRC

you can't get in at all if you are female unless you are married.

[aQuArius]

38. Holier than thou....

This only applies in Utah really... I was turned down for a date in high school because the boy's mother found out I was "non-practicing".

[aQuArius]

40. Seminary... (or the early-morning version outside Utah)

You get to start intensive mormon study when you're a Freshman in High School! :eyes:

[aQuArius]

42. Guilt, shame and obedience

That's the cornerstone of the religion!

[MuseRider]

43. Healings!

When I was diagnosed with RA they did a healing on me. They told me I could not be healed and there was a bunch of other stuff they would not tell me.

[aQuArius]

45. With "sacred" oil????

Yeah, women are told NOTHING!!! Priesthood = Sexism

[MuseRider]

51. So, my new sister,

were you born into this or did you have a run of bad luck and got found by missionaries like I did? I do not mean to bash on Mormons, I really like many of them but it was a very odd experience that most do not quite understand unless they have been there or in another group like it.

[aQuArius]

55. Born-in-the-covenant

or "BIC" if you're into the lingo. My dad later revealed he is gay and proud, I love him! My mom always secretly hated the church and raised me to be a free-thinking liberal woman! I'm sorry the missionaries searched you out, but you'll be ok, you're out of the darkness now! In the light of the DU!

[MuseRider]

61. I had never heard BIC before.

I was not "in" for long. Long enough to get my temple recommend, several years. I had some very good friends who were Mormons who tried to keep me going but I had too many conflicts. The woman thing, of course was a big one. My brother was gay and I could not get past the way they felt about that, many of my friends are as well and I love them too much to belong to a group who hates them. Once I found out that I had gone through all of that and was going to be treated to more covenants that they would not tell you about until you were sitting there in front of everyone I woke up and realized the secrecy I was concerned about was something very real. Nope, I did not like that at all. Luckily I avoided ever having to explain why I was NOT going to wear sacred undergarments (special undies).

[aQuArius]

65. BIC means...

You were born to parents who were married (sealed) in the temple before you were born... I'm glad you got out, good for you!

[aQuArius]

47. Hold to the Rod, the Iron Rod....

That seems a bit sexist, yes?

[GOPisEvil]

48. Hey! You're over half-way out!

Pat Robertson is NOT pleased though. ;-)

[aQuArius]

49. Gordon B. Hinkley isn't either...

I'm going to be ex-communicated! *hoorah*

[GOPisEvil]

52. I'd wear that as a badge of honor!

:bounce:

[aQuArius]

56. I wish they would....

I've asked that my name be removed from their "list", even wrote an official letter. But they said I would have to meet with my bishop and stake president who whould determine my removal for me. Whatever, F*** that! If they want to put me on their "list", so be it, I AM NOT A MORMON! and DAMN PROUD! LOL! Merry Christmas, glad you're here now! :hi:

[GOPisEvil]

57. Merry Christmas!

I'm glad to be back home, although I liked being with my parents today.

[aQuArius]

58. I have a soft spot....

for guys who are close with their parents ;)

[GOPisEvil]

59. I have dinner with them just about every Monday evening.

They're good people. I'm lucky to have them as parents. :-)

[aQuArius]

62. awwww, now! I'm getting all mushy

I like the "good people" type of parents.

[GOPisEvil]

63. Not only good people, but good Democrats!

:thumbsup:

They were good to me at Christmas too.

[aQuArius]

67. My sweet mommy...

gave me a good liberal woman book, Entitled "She..." and there was a check embedded in it. She has been helping me all year, I didn't expect the check.

[GOPisEvil]

68. Awwww...that's sweet.

My folks bought a large suitcase for me, since my old one bit the dust. There were also a few greenbacks in a Christmas card. I love those folks, I think I'll keep 'em!

:toast: to good parental units!

[aQuArius]

70. And which airline helped it bite the dust???

Mine??? Wouldn't surpirse me...

[GOPisEvil]

75. LOL...it wasn't killed by ONE airline.

It was an OLD suitcase that was worn out when my folks gave it to me. I'd say SEVERAL airlines led to its demise.

Strange things DO happen to me when I fly your airline...but nothing major.

[aQuArius]

78. I'll keep a close eye on your flights from now on...

like I'll be able to change anything though... I just count the liquor revenue! So, drink-up while you're in coach and I will personally count your money!!!

[GOPisEvil]

79. Damn! I was hoping to drop your name for an upgrade to first class!

Too bad I'm flying internationally, or I'd spend the 500 miles on an upgrade.

[aQuArius]

83. LOL! I am a nobody..

in a sea of thousands of employees... *sigh* I'll work my way up, eventually...

[GOPisEvil]

84. Yeah, but I know who you are, so you're special to me.

:D

[aQuArius]

86. Thanks... But I think I have offended some with my post...

The next time I am in Austin, I'll have to go to a DU get-together!

[GOPisEvil]

87. Yeah, I see that.

I'm looking forward to seeing you again. I am having New Year's Eve at my place, if you can tear yourself away.

I'm definitely coming up to see you in 42nd Street!

[aQuArius]

88. I'll have the kids...

So its unlikely I'll get away for NYE, even though I would LOVE to come!!!

[GOPisEvil]

89. That's what I figured.

If you can get here by tomorrow morning, we're having brunch. Heh!

[aQuArius]

90. I saw that... A Boxing Day brunch...

My kids will be home my 2:00pm tomorrow, so I can't make it then either :(

[GOPisEvil]

91. Well, it will be good to see your kids after the break.

It's only a little more than a month until 42nd Street. And less than a month until my trip. We'll catch up soon.

[aQuArius]

92. YAY! I have missed my cute kiddos

and I am excited for the big "opening night" and to see you on the 14th!

[GOPisEvil]

94. They are cute kiddos!

I'm going to have a fun January! Yay!

[aQuArius]

95. Me too!!!

;)

[GOPisEvil]

96. I'm outta here for now!

Take care!

:toast: to fun months!

[aQuArius]

98. g'night

See ya in January... Enjoy the brunch!

[MuseRider]

64. Good luck with that.

I have not been in years, have asked that they take me off their lists and they have not done it yet.

[aQuArius]

66. they won't, lol...

They have to have a special "commitee meeting" for that. or something....

[MuseRider]

71. Just a few more to go!

Nothing is more refreshing than getting out of a cult like environment, LDS or the 700 club.

[aQuArius]

50. Food Storage

I just never got the knack of "canning"

[aQuArius]

53. Geneology

This was something I was really good at! Until my hard drive CRASHED and I lost ALL my geneology. I've gotta start all over and lack the motivation.

[aQuArius]

60. Eternal Marriage

Just think about that for a while.....

[aQuArius]

69. And it came to pass.....

Could they come up with something more original????

[Robeson]

72. Because they're weird?

[LDS Jock]

73. why is this one denomination singled out more than others

to be trashed on here? The catholics get bashed too (which I don't support) but EVERYONE seems to love to get in on the action when its a Mormon bashing thread.

[democracyindanger]

Good question.

Sadly, there's no good answer.

[aQuArius]

80. These are just my reasons, I really don't want to offend anyone.

Its just me and maybe two or three others, who don't agree. My main gripe is their anti-feminist ways.

[annabanana]

99. Everyone?...check out how many different posters Jock...

not so many..
Someone please enlighten a non mormon...

what's different about the undies?

[newsguyatl]

77. i'm not a religious person, but you

could possibly be offending folks here.

just take heed, so as not to hurt any feelings in the future.

[aQuArius]

81. These are just my feelings, probably needing to vent

Most of my extended family and LOTS of friends are mormon. They would laugh at most of my posts anyway.

[LDS Jock]

82. I'm not laughing

Do not post racist, sexist, homophobic, ethnic, anti-religious, or anti-atheist bigotry. Unambiguous expressions of bigotry will be deleted, and will often result in the immediate banning of the individual responsible.

When discussing race, gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, or religion, please exercise the appropriate level of sensitivity toward others and take extra care to clearly express your point of view. This will help avoid misunderstandings and undeserved accusations of bigotry.

[aQuArius]

85. Have you ever read Robert Kirby?

I really like you LDS Jock, I read your posts all the time and find them quite amuzing. This is just a thread about the LDS beliefs, and if I have mis-stated anything, please correct me. I was raised in the LDS fold, and just don't believe, sorry. I have a great deal of respect for the LDS and their religion. I have more respect for someone who stands their ground than someone who rides the fence. I hope you had a great Christmas, Happy Holidays :hi:

[porkrind]

100. Good call.

LDS Jock might not know what it is like to get away from the mormon church (I hope he does, someday). After you're out, it sure looks, smells, and walks like a cult. (I know firsthand) Glad you made it out, aQuArius.

Head on over to www.exmormon.org if you haven't already. Happy Holidays :)

[aQuArius]

101. God bless porkrind...

Happy Holidays :D

[Moderator]

102. locked

Please don't post anti-religious material at DU