the gal i'm falling in love allready is in a relationship.

[Niccolo_Macchiavelli]

I don't really know what to do... i met that girl in this pen&paper roleplaygroup. Actually she's the gamemistress and even more of a freak than me. When the games are over we almost always stay and have a really good time talking.

When she laughs its like a wind brushing off the clouds on the sky.I dream of her beeing on adventures almost p&p style. chasing scoundrels and treasures. the scene of us laying on the rubble after a journey down the caverns where her cheek rests on my chest could be for an eternity. There's is nothing sexual in my quest but i feel severly attracted to her.

The crux is she has a bf allready which i so far met once and he seems like a decent guy. My personal codex prevents me from interfering in an existing relationship, so she's kinda a untouchable rose behind the glass vitrine for me - enjoy her presence but never to get to close or touch. But this doctrine of mine is under attack almost every time i meet her.

But i guess i'll just enjoy the common time and have er as a friend instead of tha gal. Allthough she is so close to a soulmate than no one before i wouldn't mind a little bit closer.

[tjdee]

1. That is going to suck for you.

I'm just coming off a year of a much uglier version of your story. They just got engaged, actually, in my absence from the picture.

I wished my guy had stayed behind the fucking vitrine. It was much nicer that way. He thought better of me, I thought better of him.

Don't interfere unless they are done. Even if she indicates that you can interfere.

[henslee]

31. Good Advice. Sometimes its the 3rd party factor often spices an

otherwise dull, on the way out relationship. Don't give them manufuactured drama to feed off of -- just my experience. Don't play that game. Stay above it all and be real -- treat her like a bro. But of course, if the moment somehow arises where you a chance to smooch, or even "hit it" by all means do... but do not, repeat, become a puppy dog -- do not --repeat do not get all ga-ga. Ga-ga is sucide.

[in_cog_ni_to]

2. Be there when they break up.

Be her friend, as you have been and just wait for the break up. Then make your move. ;)

[politicaholic]

3. I get the impression you didn't ask her out when you had the chance...

and now another gallant adventurer is thrusting his +1 sword into her.

Too bad dude. Try being more assertive next time. Love is like a goblin, if it's infront of you, lunge at it.

(wow, this "geek speak" is tougher than I thought)

[Niccolo_Macchiavelli]

7. haha

no she came with the companion with the toothp...err sword +1 allready when i got known to her. So i think i'll just have to trust my charm patience +3.

The fact i like her that much i don't mind she has a friend and enjoy what i have rather than what i not have. I love her laugher. It's condensed joy. No matter how bad i might feel she can wash it away. I'd do nothing to risk that.

[TlalocW]

4. See... this is why

You should have a chaotic evil allignment - your values system is keeping you from plundering her treasure with your +1 sword of power.

I have a +5 vorpal sword myself.

TlalocW <--- Not actually a gamer but has plenty of friends who are

[Nikia]

5. There's nothing wrong with friendship

I know that when you are single that it might be hard to see things that way. Friendship is the best gift that you can give someone. It can be much more than a short term sexual fling. Enjoy the friendship.

[politicaholic]

6. And once you established friendship let the sexual fling commence!

[bettyellen]

8. How long have they been dating? Because even if she is seeing somebody

else, can't you make your interest known to her? If you really mean the soulmate part of your post, you ought to speak up!
Thay are not married! Some people are serial daters and their relationship could be pretty shallow and or fragile. It happens all the time. My friends Mom was engaged when she met the love her life! Her ex is lucky they didn't get married.
You shouldn't do this to a friend (except in the rarest of cases when your friend is really stringing the girl along- and you know wouldn't) but how do you know she's going to stay with this guy forever? Why don't you a least flirt and give her an idea of how you feel? Tell her at least that you think he's a very lucky guy! Say something, darn it!

[Niccolo_Macchiavelli]

13. the problem is

i don't want to press the matter, if she's lucky i have (almost)no problem to wait my turn. But they are bf/gf and i feel i don't want to interfere. in some weird way i think i would think less of her if she would let me interfere with the existing relationship. Above all i don't want to mess with her happiness

[bettyellen]

19. but it's not fair to her if she doesn't have a clue that you like her.

maybe she would havechosen differently? anyway i think it's sad you amy never get the chance to tell her.
my cousin never found out his ex wanted to get back together because his mom interefered and threw out the letter. 10 years later she moved on and married somebody else and he too. but he still misses her. i wish i had known about the letter 10 years ago, no point in telling him now. he thinks she never forgave him. she thinks he stopped loving her. i think it's always sad when you leave nice things unsaid!

[HEyHEY]

9. Are you for real?

[RandomKoolzip]

33. No, but my 12-sided dice and lace-up boots are!

Huzzah! Let us lift a flagon of mead to self-enforced virginity!

[miss_kitty]

10. Don't let your admiration for her

cut you off from something that may be more wonderful than you can dream up.

Having such strong feelings will cut you off from real possibilities that are already out there, waiting for you.

[bettyellen]

22. That why he should say something and not waste years pining away or ....

waiting for them to break up! You could be mssing out on a lot, w/ her or someone else, until you get past this pining stage one way or another.

[Mistra_Know_It_All]

11. Methinks you should ascertain how she feels about you before you give in.

Roll for initiation, as it were. If the affections you are experiencing are reciprocated then this possibility should be explored for both of you. Maybe you fit the role of sojourning partner better than her current companion.

Would that she could know for certain the extent of your longing for her hand she could open her vitrine and you could venture in side to see what adventures could be in the future for you.

This is but a suggestion, mind you. She may be very much in love with her beau.

I wish you the best of luck as you seem a most delightful catch.

[Catchawave]

12. Also,

Sometimes the attraction is what you can't have?

My daughter's in a similar situation, with one young man right now, but attracted to another. Be patient :)

Oh, and rent "Roxanne" with Steve Martin, I think you'll enjoy that.

[BlueJazz]

14. Hey!..You are a DUer and with that comes a lot of ....

....Benefits.

You want us to kill her Boyfriend?? :)

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

15. Execution style - we can make sure he has a closed casket

[xchrom]

17. or in a cheese cake

oh sorry it's the holidays -- all i can think about is food.
plus this thread is depressing -- so then i eat....
oh lets face it i'm a mess.

[Niccolo_Macchiavelli]

18. nice offer ...but no thanks

it's not my way playing the game.

But i could think of some other people i wouldn't mind disappearing. ;-)

[Nevernose]

16. Fuck him -- you don't owe anything to someone she ain't married to.

I was in THE EXACT SAME CIRCUMSTANCE. Oh, she was beautiful, talented, smart, pretty, sexy, funny -- everything you could ask for in a woman, and then more.

I met them at an RPing session. I went to their house to hang out. He was my buddy, but also a total asswipe (a technical term). Before long, I was going over there to hang out just with his wife. He wasn't a bad guy, really, but he would get so stoned or dunk that he wasn't paying attention anymore. His wife and I would lock ourselves in the bathroom and talk -- literally talk -- for hours. After a few months of this, I just got to feeling too guilty, and broke off all contact with these people. I didn't see her for a year or two.

I was married, too, and though the attraction was amazing (we got married for the old-fashioned reason -- pregnancy), I would never let something like my own weakness interfere with either my marriage or someone else's.

A few days after my divorce, literally my first day in my new apartment (a studio! :) ), I bumped into this woman again. It turned out that a mutual friend of ours, a strange bisexual man named wither Victor or Victoria depending upon what day you asked him -- lived across the street and had seen me move in. He'd immediately called the woman, who immediately called me.

Do you know how stupid I felt? "Nevernose," she said, "remember that day in the car you asked me if you had crow's feet?" -- I'm neurotic about certain things -- "I thought you were going to kiss me. I wish you'd've kissed me. I used to lie awake next to that guy and think about you, and wish you weren't married. Even after we finally got divorced, I didn't look you up 'cause you were still married. We've wasted these past few years..."

My advice is, from one hopeless romantic to another, is GO FOR IT. The worst she can do is shoot you down -- repeatedly -- but you have nothing in the world to lose except true happiness (and things like true happiness, although perhaps a pipe dream for me, really do exist).

You have every thing to gain and nothing to lose. I guess what I'm trying to say is that "fear is the mind-killer."

At the very least, you can always find a new group to play with at RPG Gamer Classifieds

[Niccolo_Macchiavelli]

25. is she now Ms. Nevernose?

the place where i live is unfortunately awful small. the group she heads is the cosiest i have. I have a friendship to lose and a very cool gaming group (she being gm). it would mess things up one way or another.

i can choose to enjoy the number the dice shows me now or reroll. But once i grab the entire dice the number is lost.

Usually i'm a no risk - no fun person. friendships however i don't risk lightly

[Nevernose]

27. Er, um. No. She's not. You make a good point.

The reason she's not currently Mrs. Nevernose, however, is because we waited too damned long. Both of us were trying not to risk things.

I typically don't re-roll either. If I get a really bad one, the next one will probably be better. I've come to the conculsion, though, that I shouldn't wait for the next roll of the dice. Life is too damned short for that, my friend. When all else fails, cheat. I've fucked up enough good things in life to belive that the best policy is always "go for it." Then again, I'm just some asshole on the Internet with his own opinion -- what do I know?

BTW, what's this person's first name? I had a female DM/GM once who had that effect on me, and I suspect that if I'd pursued it, things would have gone my way...but I just seem to have this twisted effect on married women. It makes my love life hell.

And speaking of dice, on a completely unrelated note:

Once, in high school, my friend Dave scooped up all of the dice on the table and dropped them on a whim, thirty or forty of them (Dave was an enormous guy, on the football team, and had hands that could crush the life out of anyone smaller than 6'2". Everything came up highest possible numbers. Straight 4s, 6s, 8s, 10s, 12s, 20s, and even a couple of d30s. The one guy who was good at math worked out the functions and determined that the odds were something like 600 trillion to 1; math aside, I've never seen anything that weird in my life, and I've seen some really weird shit. We decided that the dice were possessed, the garage was haunted, and that we should never play again, on account of the obvious supernatural forces at work.

Of course, that was 15 years ago, and though I don't play with the old high school crowd anymore, I still squeeze in enough time to play at least once a month, Satanic dice or no. :)

[xchrom]

20. have an affair!

go after her -- look, you only live once -- don't let a good love slip away.
all is fair in love and war -- it's really true.
there are plenty of times to be a nice guy -- this isn't one of them.

[bleedingheart]

21. What would Macchiavelli Do?

He wouldn't give a flying rat's ass that she was dating someone else and he would pursue her. He would be sly about it...but he would insinuate himself into her routine and her world...and he would not stop until he won her...

I was dating someone else when Mr. B came along...but Mr. B was there...he called me and took me out to lunch.."as friends".....I was attracted to him as well...and he just wouldn't let up until the day I broke up with my old boyfriend and I ended up asking Mr. B out on the first date!

[Lydia Leftcoast]

23. Oh, Nick, I do know your pain

No further comment, but I know your pain all too well.

I think everyone is required to have at least one of these experiences per lifetime. :-(

[AuntiBush]

24. It Could Always Be Worse...

I have a crush on my lawyer! Nevertheless, I feel for ya. Just stay the norm with her and enjoy that "common time" with her. BF and GF may come and go, but friends last forever. You never know. Good luck to you, just the same.

[hickman1937]

26. Yuck. Sorry

I don't believe that true love(or the possibility of it) trumps all. If she dumps him for you, she'll dump you for someone else. And you've caused deep pain to the boyfriend.

[tjdee]

28. He hasn't acted on his feelings--how is that "deep pain"?

HE hasn't done anything.

And if he does express his feelings, he isn't the one dating anyone, she is.

True love should trump all, but you're right, it doesn't. Many people are very full of shit as far as that goes.

[soothsayer]

29. Perfect! Nothing beats unrequited love. Treasure it, but don't F it

up by trying to act on it. Enjoy the exquisite agony of your sweet, private torture. Unrequited love rocks!

[jellybelly]

30. maybe you want her because she seems impossible to get

[Wapsie B]

32. Take it from a guy

who backed away from a woman just like this. Go for it. I've regretted this for years. Don't let this one pass you by.

[Seabiscuit]

34. Fool. Move on.