Corrupted wish game

[TXlib]

You make a wish, like:

"I wish I had a million dollars."

The next person grants you wish, but adds unexpected and undesirable consequences/side-effects:

"Wish granted, but it's because you ripped off the Columbian Drug Cartel, and they are pissed!"

I'll start:

I wish I had the body of a 22-year-old.

[Not_Giving_Up]

1. Wish granted, but it's in your trunk and the cops are coming!

[trotsky]

5. LMAO

Oh that's good. Heheheh

[auntAgonist]

6. great reply!

[SKKY]

24. Fuck! I wish I was that quick...Rich, very rich...

[TXlib]

28. Wish granted... you are that quick, but you can no longer

disperse the heat build-up.

I wish kinky sex were the norm.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

31. It's the norm. Watching * and Pickles enforce the norm is now mandatory nt

[SKKY]

90. Yum. Kinky sex.

[Willy Wonka]

2. Wish granted, but because you ripped off Paris Hilton, and she's calling..

her lawyers

[bobbobbins]

3. Wish Granted....

but its the body of a 22 year old bassett hound!!

[asthmaticeog]

4. deleted.

Too slow on the draw, today.

[trotsky]

7. Granted - your lungs have been removed.

I wish John Kerry was president!

[BigMcLargehuge]

8. Congratulations, John Kerry is President

however, he knows about your wishing powers and has dispatched the FBI to take you to Gitmo before you wish for something dangerous.

[Not_Giving_Up]

10. More likely, Bushco sends above said wisher to Gitmo

for ruining their evil plan

[sniffa]

9. wish granted, but he's the president of france

i wish someone wouLd respond to my LoneLy vanity post.

[BigMcLargehuge]

12. congratulations, someone responded to your vanity post

it was a mod, who locked the thread.

I wish I had my job paid better

[trotsky]

17. Wish granted, now your company goes out of business due to high salaries!

I wish I could be faster to post than BigMcLargeHuge.

[TXlib]

18. Wish granted, but it's because you were fired.

I wish I were 6" taller.

[trotsky]

25. Wish granted! You now have a tumor on top of your head.

I wish I could eat anything I wanted and yet remain my current weight.

[TXlib]

27. Wish granted, but you now have an inexplicable craving for raw sewage.

I wish all women who see me lust for me.

[trotsky]

33. Granted! Unfortunately, Ann Coulter just saw you.

I wish I could read people's minds, but only when I wanted to. ;-)

[TXlib]

34. Wish granted, but you can only hear them thinking ill of you.

I wish Ann Coulter weren't such a freak.

[Modem Butterfly]

39. Wish granted...

...but now Ann Coulter is just as evil, but more people listen to her since she presents herself better.

I wish I were on the beach with my sweetie instead of stuck here at work.

[TXlib]

59. Wish granted, but

it's the eastern shore of Sri Lanka, Sunday morning.

I wish I hadn't said that.

[Modem Butterfly]

67. Wish granted but now I'm still stuck at work

I wish TXLib would wish us on a nice, safe beach.

:)

[TXlib]

69. Wish granted... you get a nice, safe beach on Nantucket, but

you can only go in winter!

I wish Alyson Hannigan (sp?) as "evil vampire Willow" would tie me up and spank me!

[Modem Butterfly]

73. Wish granted...

...but now you're food for The Master.

I wish my headache would go away.

[TXlib]

75. Wish granted...

It is 1791... Place de la Concorde. You are next in line to visit 'Madame Guillotine'. No more headache!

I wish completely realistic VR existed, and you could immerse yourself in TV and movies as a participant, as if it were real.

[sans qualia]

81. Wish granted

but your TV's stuck on Lifetime and you can't change the channel.

I wish I had purple eyes.

[TXlib]

83. Wish granted.

Look in your pocket. No, the other one. Eeeeeew!

I wish all women were redheads!

[Modem Butterfly]

98. Wish granted

But now cancer rates have risen 100% among women due to excessive exposure to hair dye. Everyone blames you personally.

I wish my boobs were more firm.

[sans qualia]

107. Wish granted

You have been turned to stone.

I wish cows didn't have to die to make my beef jerky.

[rbnyc]

13. wish granted

but it's a freeper girl who becomes your stalker.

I wish there were an easier way to express breast milk at the office!

[BigMcLargehuge]

14. Congratulations, you wish has been granted

I've transformed you into a dairy cow at Garelic Farms!

I wish I was better at wishing!

[trotsky]

15. Wish granted - you're now a cow in Wisconsin.

I wish for world peace!

On edit: D'oh! Beaten to the punch by a mod!

[BigMcLargehuge]

16. congratulations, world peace has been achieved

the residual radiation from nuclear war should wear off in about 50 million years.

I wish I could fly, safely, without the need for a plane or helicopter around me.

[TXlib]

19. Wish granted, but now, with gravity turned off...

the Earth careens out of orbit and we all freeze to death.

I wish I could lose the beer belly.

[Occulus]

37. Wish granted

Beer will now and ever after taste like urine to you.

I wish we had something better than gas and oil to run our cars.

[Modem Butterfly]

40. Wish granted...

... but that "something better" turns out to be baby seal fur (a renewable resource!) and, well, you can imagine how it's harvested.

I wish I had secret tapes of the discussions to go to war with Iraq.

[sans qualia]

43. Wish granted

but they consist mostly of Dubya and Condi playing peek-a-boo.

I wish I had a functioning reproductive system.

[Modem Butterfly]

45. Wish granted

But now you've become the first woman in the world to give birth to Dectuplets vaginally.

I wish I could give you my functional, not-used reproductive system.

[loudestchick]

47. wish granted...but now you're both fused at the abdomen.

I wish I enjoyed excersize.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

54. Wish granted. You now look like this:

I wish I had the talent to establish a business (computer business, specifically) and get rich off it.

[TXlib]

60. Wish granted, but they're all money-laundering schemes for The Mob

and the Feds are coming to get you.

I wish I could shit gold and piss oil!

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

66. Wish granted

But the gold comes ONLY in 10"x5"x3" bricks!

[TXlib]

70. BWAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!

You owe me a new keyboard!

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

72. Oops I forgot to wish

I wish air fare was never more than US$ 100. From/to anywhere on the planet.

[Modem Butterfly]

74. Wish granted

But you have to take a tiny little Regional Jet everywhere you go. Good-bye first class, hello deep tissue thrombosis.

I wish I had a Visa card that would magically pay itself off every month.

[TXlib]

76. Wish granted...but

unbeknownst to you, the "magic" funds that pay the card off come from poor people who will starve to death without the money.

I wish I'd finished my Ph.D.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

78. Wish granted

Just in time to the Republican All-Out Persecution of Intellectuals to begin. Welcome to Gitmo.

I wish ALL of Apple's OSX and its applications were open-source.

[TXlib]

80. Wish granted, but

it's only because Apple's defunct and completely out of business.

I wish I were getting my drink on right now.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

84. Wish granted

but you're a recovering alcoholic, and this lapse earns you an alcoholic coma.

I wish I could drive. (I can't! I shit you not.)

[TXlib]

85. Wish granted. But...

Peak Oil has come and gone, and gasoline is $1000/l.

I wish I were filthy steenkin' rich!

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

91. Wish granted. You are all three things.

Rich, filthy, AND stinking.

I wish I knew German, Italian, French, Russian, Japanese, Hindu, Arabic, Dutch, Greek, Hebrew, and Chinese, in addition to the measly three languages I know.

[TXlib]

94. Wish granted, but you can only curse uncontrollably in each of them.

I wish I had the day off.

[Modem Butterfly]

99. Wish granted

Your company has closed and now you have all the days off.

I wish my office had a view.

[TXlib]

135. Wish granted.

It's a view of a giant anus.

I wish we had fusion power ready.

[MisterP]

23. you can't buy shirts with a second pair of sleeves for the wings

[name not needed]

11. Your wish has been granted, but

John Kerry is now an evil robot bent on world domination.

I wish that George Steinbrenner would get banned from baseball again.(I'm a Yankees fan, too.)

[hippiechick]

30. Wish granted, but

now Steinbrenner's named Head of Homeland Security ...


I wish HippieSlackerAuthorDude would ask me to marry him.


:hippie:

[TXlib]

35. Wish granted, but

you find out too late he is a whacko, RW morman polygamist, and a serial killer, as well.

I wish all the water on the republican side of the House became contaminated with THC right before they started legislating!

[Modem Butterfly]

42. Wish granted...

...but now Cheetohs has been declared a nutritious food and is required to be on the lunch menu of every school in America, ensuring all children get a huge helping of fried, processed food.

I wish all Republicans would simply disappear right now and take Zell Miller with them.

[sans qualia]

46. Wish granted

All the True Christians have been raptured. Prepare for the Tribulation.

I wish I had a kittie.

[Modem Butterfly]

49. Wish granted

But God kills it when a Freeper masturbates.

I wish my office could be a comfortable temperature.

[TXlib]

63. Freepers don't masturbate

They "masterbate".

[EstimatedProphet]

102. Wish granted

Your office is now 650°-a comfortable temperature for the molten lead people of Arcturus II.
I wish I weren't so groggy.

[Modem Butterfly]

104. Wish granted

But now you can't sleep. At all. Ever again.

I wish everyone in the world could live in peace and harmony.

[EstimatedProphet]

109. Wish granted

The Bush administration has required mandatory lobotomies for everyone.

I wish I could think of something to wish for.

[loudestchick]

51. wish granted...but the kittie is actually the forerunner of an alien

invasion. I wish there were more bank holidays!

[Modem Butterfly]

52. Oooh! Better than mine! Wish granted...

...but now the American banking system has gone belly-up and the country descends into a wrenching depression, allowing Cuba to finally invade and turn the nation into one big Commie beach party.

I wish I were at a big Commie beach party.

[sans qualia]

53. Wish granted

But Castro's there, and he's wearing a Speedo.

I wish I had better taste in clothes.

[hyphenate]

56. It can't be any worse than the picture of G Gordon Liddy

wearing a speedo.

I wish the truly evil people in the world were the ones who perished in the tsunami instead of all the innocents, including 7/8 of the bush regime.

[TXlib]

64. Wish granted... but you perish, too.

Since that's an evil thing to wish.

I wish all the evil people in the world would see the error of their ways, and reform.

[hyphenate]

77. Tis is a far better place I go to

in sacrificing myself for the good of the many. :)



(A little Star Trek drama there.)

[TXlib]

62. Wish granted... but I misheard you to say:

"I wish I tasted better in clothes", and the cannibals thank you.

I wish I had an 8" apochromatic refractor.

[sans qualia]

112. Wish granted

You stare into the very face of God and die of wonderment.

I wish I could shape solid stone with my hands, like clay.

[txaslftist]

120. wish granted

but you are an invisible fairy troll who can only come out between midnight and 1 a.m.

I wish my wife and my family got along better.

[Modem Butterfly]

125. Wish granted

But now they all hate you.

I wish I had more closet space.

[sans qualia]

134. Wish granted

All your skeletons are now out in the open.

I wish it was raining.

[TXlib]

20. I wish more people would play my game!

[Kenneth ken]

22. your wish has been granted

I'm a new player in your game; alas, I'm a thread-killer, so also probably the last poster to your thread. :7


I wish I could travel back and forth through time.

[TXlib]

26. Wish granted, but you can only travel back to horrible disasters

I wish I could control people's minds, and make them think it was their own idea... "Boss, give TXlib a huge raise!"

[Modem Butterfly]

38. Wish granted but now you will never get credit for your own ideas

ever again. EVER! Mwa-ha-ha-ha!

I wish I were a perfect size 6.

[loudestchick]

44. wish granted..but you also have a horrid wasting disease.

I wish I were a successful (working) actress.

[Modem Butterfly]

48. Wish granted

But now you're starring the the longest running Broadway show, "Hail to the GOP!" which features such songs as "We Don't Need No Stinking Bill of Rights" and "You Can't Trust Girls With Choice,"

I wish my car were a brand new Jaguar.

[sans qualia]

50. Wish granted, but it's hungry. Run!

I wish I could draw.

[Kenneth ken]

58. your wish is granted

however, like Vincent Van Gogh, you will only sell one drawing before you die, because no one will appreciae your immense talent until after your death. :(

I wish I had a pony.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

61. Wish granted, but

he bites and kicks.

I wish my house painted itself.

[TXlib]

65. Wish granted, but it paints itself in obnoxious colors

and the HOA sues you for it.

I wish I were immortal.

[Modem Butterfly]

68. Wish granted but...

...you didn't wish to be YOUNG and immortal so your body ages for every year you continue to live. By the time you reach 135 your not much more than a drooling bag of bones with all eternity stretching before you...

I wish I could experience life as a man for a day.

[TXlib]

71. Wish granted, but

You are a child molester in prison... in general population!

I wish I could stop/restart time and use the null-time to do things, like sleep, read, de-pants GWB mid-speech, and not age in this null-time!

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

79. Wish granted

But air molecules are as immovable as everything else. I hope you're not claustrophobic.

I wish the Star Wars prequels were as good as the originals.

[TXlib]

82. Wish granted.

The original Star Wars trilogy sucks just as bad, now. (Thanks a lot, asshole!)

I wish Buffy the Vampire Slayer were still on air, and at its peak!

[GoddessOfGuinness]

86. Wish granted

but it's broadcast the same time as your favorite show.

I wish I could take a vacation.

[TXlib]

87. Wish granted.

You're fired. Take all the vacation you want.

I wish you could try some of my homebrew! :beer:

[sans qualia]

88. Wish granted

You didn't really expect her to survive it, did you?

I wish people would be nice to each other.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

89. Wish granted

I die, and you get charged with homicide.

I wish I could try some of your homebrew! :beer:

[Modem Butterfly]

100. Wish granted

But now you're in Texas!

I wish all DU threads were as fun as this one! (Thanks TXLIB!)

[TXlib]

127. Wish granted.

But now all DU threads are the "Wish Corrupter" game.

(BTW, I got this idea from the folks at Conservative Underground, don'tchya know?)

[TXlib]

21. kick

[Not_Giving_Up]

29. I wish I wasn't allergic to everything that pollinates

I haven't been able to breathe for over a month, with holiday trees and crap...Somebody help me out here!

[Red State Rebel]

32. Your wish is granted, however, now you are allergic to

everything that has sex...hmmmmm

[Modem Butterfly]

36. Oooh! Oooh! I'm next!

I wish I could go back in time to the first Butterfly family reunion, when most of my favorite relatives were still alive and my grandparents lived in their beautiful California-mission house.

[sans qualia]

41. Wish granted, but you caused a time paradox

that resulted in most of your family never having been born.

I wish I could move things with my mind.

[Zenaholic]

55. Wish granted, but all the "things" are connected to your body

I wish I could get off this endless conference call!

[Not_Giving_Up]

57. Wish granted

You're off the call, but it's because you got fired.

[NuttyFluffers]

92. wish granted, but 'moving things' is only emotional,

you can only make inanimate objects sad... and since they can't cry, they are now slipping into depression.

i wish i was continuously in a state of candyflipping (on both LSD and MDMA (ecstacy) -- locked into hallucinating in a euphoric state).

[Phentex]

93. wish granted but now you

are locked in a glass cage being filmed on a reality tv show


I wish war was fought with a chess board...

[TXlib]

96. Wish granted...

The chess boards have razor edges, and are swung like swords.

[TXlib]

95. Wish granted... you are in a coma.

I wish I could see through sexy women's clothing.

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

97. Wish granted, but all women now look like this:

I wish I could get "Copa Cabana" outta my head!!

[Modem Butterfly]

101. Wish granted...

...but now Barry Manilow will never be born, and it turns out that he's the one who would have cured cancer. Oopsie!

I wish I could converse with my dogs.

[Politicub]

103. Wish granted...

but all your dogs ever say are quotes from bill o'lielly.

I wish I would win the lottery.

[Modem Butterfly]

105. Wish granted

You win the largest lottery in history, but now you can't tell who is your friend and who is trying to suck up to you out of self-interest. People hit you up for money all the time. You turn into a weird recluse, a la Howard Hughes, but with a manicurist on staff.

I wish I had a magical monkey's paw that would grant wishes. (Who didn't see THAT one coming?)

[EstimatedProphet]

106. Wish granted

It's still attached to the monkey, and grants his wishes. He wishes to throw sh*t a whole lot.
I wish there were better movies on the pay channels.

[txaslftist]

110. wish granted

but they all cost $100.00 a month.

I wish I could type and respond even close to as fast as you guys.

[EstimatedProphet]

114. Wish granted

You can now type and respond much faster. However you can only use the letters Q and Z.
I wish I were independently wealthy.

[txaslftist]

115. qz

Qzqqq zzq zzz zQ Qzz Qz z

[TXlib]

126. Wish granted, but

Now that you're typing with BOTH hands, Mr. Happy is feeling neglected!

I wish I never needed to sleep.

[sans qualia]

138. Wish granted

However, now your subconscious expresses itself through waking hallucinations.

I wish I had a pizza.

[TXlib]

140. Wish granted.

But it's a Soylent Green pizza.

I wish I weren't constipated.

[txaslftist]

108. Wish granted...

you are now an intelligent dog.

I wish my whacky brother would stop bringing up "Left Behind" books.

[TXlib]

129. Wish granted, but

it's because he's swept up in The Rapture, and you've been Left Behind.

I wish they'd make Kim Stanley Robinson's Red Mars, Green Mars, Blue Mars trilogy into a trilogy of movies!

[sans qualia]

143. Wish granted

But they cast William Shatner, Keanu Reaves, Shannon Doherty and Kevin Costner in the lead roles, and it's produced by Disney.

I wish I understood the fundamental principles of the universe.

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

111. Wish granted, but they are overly-critical of your appearance.

I wish my dog would clean up his own shit.

[txaslftist]

113. wish granted

but he makes you clean up your shit as well...

I wish I didn't have to log off this thread.

[TXlib]

130. Wish granted. You now obsessive-compulsively post to it.

I wish i had more good ideas like this one!

[Bertha Venation]

116. I wish Coca-Cola, the Real Thing, had zero calories. n/t

[sans qualia]

117. Wish granted

Coca-Cola now contains a calorie-free sugar substitute extracted from the blood of kittens.

I wish I could fly.

[dean_dem]

118. Wish granted

But feathered wings take the place of your arms and hands.

I wish Bush would get impeached.

[EstimatedProphet]

119. Wish granted

Bush gets replaced by Cheney, who begins implementing the REAL changes in the Consitiution. Arbeit macht frei.

I wish I had a better job.

[sans qualia]

122. Wish granted

You are now the National Intelligence Director.

I wish I had a stalker.

[EstimatedProphet]

124. Wish granted

You have a stalker. there's no way to corrupt this-it's all bad.

I wish we had never invaded Iraq.

[TXlib]

131. Wish granted, but

it turns out the NeoCons were right... Iraq gets the Bomb. And without the distraction of the invasion, Al Quaeda has been free to attack the US repeatedly.

I wish religious nuts/fanatics/fundamentalists of all persuasions would see the error of their ways!

[sans qualia]

142. Wish granted

But now the world is full of bitter, cynical, coffee-drinking, Skeptic-reading, Randroid atheists.

I wish I had a purple cashmere sweater.

[sans qualia]

132. Wish granted

We invaded North Korea instead and caused a nuclear holocaust.

I wish I could heal the sick and dying.

[TXlib]

133. Wish granted, but

every person you cure comes at the cost of two other healthy people you don't know.

[sans qualia]

121. delete

Too slow.

[Skittles]

123. I wish to kick your 22 year old ass

yes INDEED

[kmla]

128. Wish granted.

But that 22 year old ass is protected by the Department of the Interior as an endangered species.

Now you are in jail.

Sharing a cell with Courney Love.

I wish I had more hair...

[EstimatedProphet]

137. Wish granted

You've got the hairiest palms of any person on Earth!

I wish I were doing something more fun tonight...

[TXlib]

141. Wish granted.

Too bad it's also highly illegal, and the cops caught you!

[TXlib]

139. Wish granted, you hairy Sasquatch freak of nature!

[TXlib]

136. Bring it, woman!

:evilgrin:

[Political_Junkie]

144. I wish I hadn't missed this thread.

One of the best ever, TXlib, thanks for the laughs. I needed that. :yourock:

[Not_Giving_Up]

145. I wish TXLib would start a new thread for this game

It's so much fun, but has gotten really long!

[TXlib]

146. Wish granted

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x2325160

But you're required to answer everybody's wish!