I'm 39, single, not lonely, and wouldn't have it any other way.

[Maddy McCall]

Any other singles out there NOT looking to marry? Companionship is great WHEN I WANT IT. I'm too selfish for marriage, though.

[NightTrain]

1. I'm not sure I'd make a good spouse.

I need a lot of breathing room, and I have my fair share of idiosyncrasies.

[edzontar__]

2. Are you sure you're not lonely?

Just kidding... I'm 54 myself and have only been intimate with a few other men. And yes, I like it that way...

[Maddy McCall]

3. Intimacy isn't the problem for me...

It would be putting another person ahead of my career or my kid, and I could never do that. Like I said, too selfish.

[RevolutionaryActs]

4. Hmmm

Well I'm 18, never been in a relationship, and I don't really care if I am in one. I'm not saying that I never want to be in one, but I have very high standards (which I will not lower because I deserve someone who fits those standards, damn it) and I don't know one male in my town that is anywhere near those standards. LOL I'll just have to wait, or whatever. :)

[devilgrrl]

5. I'm 41, single, a loner in general and wouldn't have it any other way

:-)

To be perfectly honest, I think I most likely have a personality disorder as I've never been able to "fit in" with my peers or people. So, if anything, it's for the better.

[Wcross]

10. Hey devilgrrl, you and I are much the same.

I don't look at my solitude as a "personality disorder", it is more a choice. I am not a pack animal and can not function as a member of the "team". I prefer to live or die on my own decisions rather than what the "group" thinks.

[FDRrocks]

24. Are you socially ackward at all?

I relate to alot of what you said. In addition to that, many social situations where you're expected to do something make me extremely uncomfortable to me. It usually results in my making an ackward fool of myself. :)

[devilgrrl]

29. TOTALLY socially awkward!

And I make the mistakes time and time again.

[tavalon]

36. Asperger's more likely

A higher functioning variant of autism. Personality disorders are icky (ask the shrub) whereas Aspies are just very socially awkward and quirky and don't care much about fitting in. Which is good, because they can't usually figure out how to.

[devilgrrl]

40. Well, I did score high on a Asperger's test.

hmmm...

Psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen and his colleagues at Cambridge's Autism Research Centre have created the Autism-Spectrum Quotient, or AQ, as a measure of the extent of autistic traits in adults. In the first major trial using the test, the average score in the control group was 16.4. Eighty percent of those diagnosed with autism or a related disorder scored 32 or higher. The test is not a means for making a diagnosis, however, and many who score above 32 and even meet the diagnostic criteria for mild autism or Asperger's report no difficulty functioning in their everyday lives.

http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html

[tavalon]

41. You've learned to play the piano (metaphor)

That's what my friend c. says. She is full blown autistic and she is a master at the piano, given her degree of autism. She is nonetheless, a royal pain in the ass who has luckily found a family who stands by her and tolerates her crap knowing that she is doing her best. She really is a virtuoso given her autism - she's much like the woman who wrote those books, Temple Grandin.

I feel lucky to know c. since my stepson has autism and she is able to tell me what it's like for him inside the autistic "prison". It' is so rare for someone as compromised as she is to be able to articulate as well. But Asperger folk can often function quite well despite their disability.

BTW, I took that test a while ago. I scored 17. I have ADD, which is on the spectrum but blessedly on the least compromised end. My ADD, as well, is very mild. I've seen the rest of the spectrum up close and personal and I am grateful to be where I am on it.

[Phillycat]

43. I got a 6 on that test.

I suppose that means I'm the opposite of an Asperger's person?

[BiggJawn]

6. I'm coming to the conclussion that marriage is Bunk.

Except for that 12-month experiment living with somebody, I've been on my own for the last 9 years.

Some people just got no business getting into relationships.

[StClone]

7. I was a loner too

But finding kindred has been one of the great joys of my life.

[Maddy McCall]

8. I'm not a loner.

I enjoy being around people. I just don't want anyone permanently residing in my home. :shrug:

[AZCat]

20. That's the kicker

The whole "personal space" thing is a real relationship killer.

GF: Why don't we go over to your place?
Me: Uhh... {insert lame excuse here}
GF: We never go there! It's always my place, my bed!
Me: Uhh... {insert lame excuse here}
GF: Do you not want me in your life? Is this about commitment? Will you ever be able to give up your sick grip on bachelorhood?
Me: Uhh... {insert lame excuse here}
Ex-GF: Well maybe you should think about that for a while. Alone!
<door slamming>


I guess that's the price you pay.... :shrug:

[Floogeldy]

9. I'm 50, happily divorced, and quite certain that the only sex . . .

. . . I will ever have will be with a prostitute, or my right hand!

[Kenneth ken]

11. me me

that sounds a lot like me, except I'm a few years older than you. If I was married, we'd have to have separate houses. ( I think there's a line like that in a film, but I can't recall it right now. )

[Placebo]

12. You heartless whore.

:P

[Maddy McCall]

15. LOL!

Yep, that's me. :-)

[readmylips]

13. I'm married, we work at happily married...

The best time of my day is at night when my hub and I snuggle up tight, say I love you and good night.

We don't have the perfect marriage, whatever that is, but we enjoy each other's respect, love and company. I was a single Mom long time before I met my husband. I was my own woman and I'm still my own woman. That is one quality my hub enjoys about me. I used to say that I was too selfish for marriage but I was really too scared to reach out. When I met my hub, it was the right time.

[beam me up scottie]

14. I am alone now because I choose to be alone.

When I was married, my husband would leave me alone night after night and it really sucked because it was his hometown and I didn't know anyone. I was not alone by choice. Big difference.
Also wouldn't mind a soulmate if I trip over one, but I'm happy and not really looking.

[Maddy McCall]

16. I'm not scared to "reach out."

I just don't need another person to make me whole. I like my life as it is.

[Placebo]

17. Selfish sodomite.

:dunce:

[Maddy McCall]

18. Free love, baby. Free love.

:P

[Skittles]

22. I have that

just don't need to be married

[Left Is Write]

44. I was a single mother for years also.

10 years, to be exact. Before I met my husband, I was too busy to be lonely, but I don't think I would have been anyway. I like my own company. I did, however, meet and marry a great guy and we had two more children together. I love our family time very much, but I still value my "alone" time, and my husband understands and respects that.

[lpbk2713]

19. I've always preferred my own company over anyone else.

Tried the married life. Didn't work out. Not jumping back into that fire again.

[Skittles]

21. 47, never wanted to be married

never saw the point

[FDRrocks]

23. You;d just beat your husbands ass around anyways...

You should marry a punching bag. *tongue in cheek* :)

[Skittles]

26. ya

probably just saving them some torment

[traco]

25. 37 years old and happily single!

Told that to an old boyfriend, and he started trying to kiss on me. I pushed him away and said

"What part of happily single did you miss"

[SKKY]

27. 34 Married for 5 years, and still not convinced...

...marriage is for me. Don't get me wrong, I dearly love the person I'm married to, but I'm just not convinced. I need my space.

[Bouncy Ball]

38. Maybe you didn't marry someone as independent as you are

I got lucky and married someone with a mile-wide independent streak like I have. So we know when to let each other have some space and we don't act all needy and clingy on each other. It works out well. And honestly neither one of us could handle it any other way.

[Truman01]

28. Damn Maddy, I didn't know you were 39, I'm 38 nt

[Maddy McCall]

31. Ooops. I responded to you in post 30.

Looks like I was responding to myself. :-) :hi:

[Maddy McCall]

30. Yep. 39 years young.

Immature, light-hearted, fun-loving me. I don't feel 39 except for when I first wake up in the morning, and the knee I broke in the go-cart accident two years ago aches. :-)

[Placebo]

35. I don't know if that's something to be proud of...

or brag about. ;)

[Truman01]

42. You have to love a woman that breaks her kneed in a

go cart accident. And don't listen to what'shis name, be immature sometimes!!

TC

[REP]

32. Just Turned 40, Never Married, No Children

I am in a long-term relationship (12+ years) though.

[Rowdyboy]

33. I was "single, not lonely" at 34

but, when I moved to a place where I could actually meet a real male partner in life, I took the chance and was VERY LUCKY, very quickly. I met my partner 7 months from the time I started looking seriously!

BTW, my partner was 39 at the time, coming off an 18 year marriage. I was his "rebound" so it couldn't possibly work.....Right?

16 years later, I never expect to be single again (knock wood)

I feel like I know you too well to reject simplistic blanket statements like "I'm too selfish for marriage". Maybe you are, but in our many, many, MANY conversations over the last few years, I've never seen that attitude in you.

Trust me, babe, if I were straight, I would have been very likely to chase you all over south Mississippi. You're a class act and I hope you find what ever you want to find out of life.

Not everyone is suited for a relationship, but, IF YOU ARE, you'd be a fool to let the chance pass you by. My life would be infinitely less a pleasure had I never taken a chance and met my other half.

Don't be afraid to take a chance.

[tavalon]

34. Hmmm

Sort of. I believe in the separation of church and state so I decline to allow the state to sanction whatever unions I choose to make. I'm currently single but have made a strong commitment to two guys who are also in complicated relationships and eventually we may all (or some) decide to live together or we may not. My happiness is very much not dependent on that possibility.

I was married most of my adult life. I like being single.

[bettyellen]

37. somebody sent me over here and i have to say i agree with you! LOL!

i'm too selfish to have a dog. let alone a husband!

[Bouncy Ball]

39. I'm 34, married

not lonely, happy, not needy or clingy, very independent. YAY for people living the way they want to!

:toast:

[Dzimbowicz]

45. No more marriage for me and no regrets about it

I'm in my mid-40s, divorced after two years of marriage in the 1980s (no children) and have NO intentions of remarrying. I think I'm too crazy to be able to live in the same house with anyone else. Although I do enjoy the company and companionship of a certain someone.

[pdx_prog]

46. I'm 46 and single...

not looking to get married, but I am in a long term relationship with my #10. We lived together for almost two years, but now have separate places.

Looking for someone to make you whole is the wrong reason for a LTR or marraige. It is great to have someone to work with to better your lives and to tackle problems. Strength in numbers and all that...:)

I consider my situation to be perfect for my lifestyle also....I have two kids that live with me, and I get to even my time out between myself, them, and my GF...:)