DU Ladies: When a guy hits on you, what makes him successful and

[yvr girl]

what makes you shoot him down?

I'm a sucker for a guy who can make me laugh without trying too hard. Intelligence counts and if you smell good...well...I'm under your spell.

As far as turn offs go: someone who is too slick or practiced, someone who is overly familiar and someone who doesn't have good hygiene.

C'mon ladies - fess up. This is a public service to all DU men.

[flvegan]

1. Well, jeebus christus, why am I unattached?

I'm funny, smart AND have good hygiene, etc. Dammit, I suck.

[belladonna]

27. Follow through, dear

You really need to work on that :evilgrin:

[jellybelly]

2. Hygiene...

Attractive enough to make you blush when you look at him
and no man-sluts
tall, and built too. Maybe I'm too shallow...

[tridim]

11. That's funny, because I once got a date because I blushed

I was just talking to a girl and she said something nice to me and I blushed. Then she said, "Awww, you're blushing, that's so cute!".

[SarahB]

3. I like your standards.

Humor.
Warmth (but yeah, not too familiar either).
Intelligence.
Confidence without cockiness.

[WindRavenX]

4. Hmmm

First, it's holding eye contact- if you're looking at my twins and attempting to have a "conversation"- please. Just go away.
Second, it's not coming on too strong. Think I'm hot? Don't mind hearing it, but if that's the ONLY thing that's coming out of your mouth...Just go away.
If you smell like Old Spice, you get a free pass....:9
Extra points if you comment on the suckiness of *.

[sendero]

16. Question....

... did your dad wear Old Spice?

Because I work on the theory that many women look for qualities in a man that they liked in their fathers (no yucky implications implied or solicitied :))

[WindRavenX]

38. nopers

Dear ol' dad never wore Old Spice.
The guys I'm involved with are usually complete opposites of my father.

[supernova]

5. A soft touch

nothing too overly familiar, especially if I don't know you well. Be funny, kind, and respectful. Suggest coffee in a couple of days.

[sasquatch]

6. Women don't dig "the funny guy"

If they did Lewis Black's career would be in trouble!!

[JimmyJazz]

7. Someone who tries too hard is definitely going to be shot down.

Someone who is funny and warm and sweet is going to go pretty far in my book. I'm also attracted to people who are forthright..

[Arkana]

28. I'm also guessing that he can't be packing a taser

Am I right? Did I get it right? :)

[jdots]

8. its just me trying to pick up some tips

bathing ? thats asking for too much

[tjdee]

9. Not running away when he hears I have a kid is a plus!

I'm pretty cool about things except someone who is a sloppy drunk or who tries to put his hands on my ass/back/anywhere without knowing me for more than 5 minutes.

I mean, I'm not there for you to get your rocks off. Eww.

[Solly Mack]

10. Must have a well developed sense of humor

Intelligent
MUST be self-assured (no exceptions)
Hygiene's a huge plus
baggage is one thing... steamer trunks are another (if you know what I mean)
Must have gumption

[Acryliccalico]

13. Same as yvr girl plus

must be considderate, smart not phoney, and looking for something solid not just a hit and see ya.

[sushi]

12. I would talk to any guy

who is interested in talking to me if he looks clean and attractive, is well-dressed and sounds decent. A nice after shave certainly helps. Turn offs are those who are too forward and so sure of themselves.

[yvr girl]

14. I'd talk to any guy too who doesn't seem creepy

I just might not keep talking to them.

[Left Is Write]

15. Well, I married the last successful one, so it's been a while.

Still, from what I can remember, there's no one single thing that would make a guy successful. I like one who smells good also, but if that good smell was attached to a big ego or arrogance, forget it.

Humor is good, but I didn't like it if a guy used most of his humor to put himself down. A little self-deprecation is one thing, but some guys go too far.

The ones I was most drawn to seemed to balance well between the funny and the serious (but not too serious), liked to laugh, and were good listeners. An extra good smell is a bonus. :)

[Lorien]

17. Pretty much the same things you've mentioned

A great natural-and not too sarcastic or corny-sense of humor can overcome a lot (such as height, baldness, etc.)A clever opening line about a book I'm reading is a thousand times more attractive than a blatant sexual come on. Why don't more men approach women in bookstores, anyway?

Biggest turnoffs; when he talks to my cleavage or says anything about my hair as an opening line (such as lumping all blondes or redheads together; "I've always had a thing for redheads"; gee, don't I feel special). Worst of all is the man who tries too hard to impress me; I've been on endless blind dates where guys pretty much read me their resumes, and it's just painful. They spent so much time trying to be impressive themselves that they never asked me a damned thing about my life, tastes, anything! Why would I want a second date with anyone who didn't want to know anything about me? What's he thinking? "Now that she knows that I've been scuba diving in Key West, she'll sleep with me fer sher" yeah, right. I also find a guy who drives a Prius (or even a Corolla) a hell of a lot sexier than a guy who drives a BMW, and SUV drivers are right out. Not being caught up in the pursuit of status symbols is a plus.

[Dude_CalmDown]

29. How about guys who drive Honda?

Lorien: "I also find a guy who drives a Prius (or even a Corolla) a hell of a lot sexier than a guy who drives a BMW, and SUV drivers are right out."

[Lorien]

30. Yep; any environmentally conscious car

trumps Corinthian leather and Osamamobiles any day!

[Dude_CalmDown]

34. Wooohooo!!! - Liberal women are so great. n/t

:evilgrin:

[TexasLady]

18. Persistence, Compliments, and Big Hearts

Dont tell me I am SO PRETTY while checking out the next chick to walk by, Talk to me about things that interest YOU, and hopefully that is ME, and Be kind. That is why conservative men suck. Period.

That is how Texas Man landed me! And he has never said one rude thing about me or to me even once...

(and Im damned lucky to have him, and he's six years my junior!)

[SOteric]

19. Nothing makes him successful,

nothing I can describe anyway. If a person has made the effort to convey an attraction, I'd never be unkind. It's flattering regardless, but I can't describe whatever it is that makes me think one fella's got it while another doesn't.

It's kind of a total package thing, a 'vibe.'

[Left Is Write]

20. True...

A man could meet all the "criteria" I listed above and still not be successful. There's got to be that little spark of something special that can't be quantified or described. It's something that just is.

[Amaya]

21. Yep, it's all about the chemistiy

And if a guy can't look me in the eyes, forget about it. Eye contact is everything.

[incapsulated]

22. hmmmm

Well, it's been said, but what makes a guy successful often can't be defined. You click or you don't, regardless of the "conditions".

I appreciate sincerity. If you are shy, and that's who you are, that can be charming. But if you try to come off as some smooth operator, and it's an act, I would be turned off.

Another turn off is making comments on my appearance, yes I mean compliments. No, I don't care if you think I'm "beautiful", I don't fucking know you, and I don't like being verbally sized up.

Eye contact is important. Even if you are shy, work on that, and smile. :7

Humor is great, but one persons "funny" doesn't necessarily translate to another. Once again, it's personal.

It's stupid, but true: Be yourself. (and of course, take a shower.)

[samplegirl]

23. I agree a guy with a sense of humor always is great

Humor is way up on the list. A guy who is confident about himself
and knows how to converse intelligent conversation without immediately asking for your phone number right away. A guy that
smiles alot at you but dosent rush to your side. Usually you can
tell when even the barkeeper is glad to see this person.
I like a guy whos not so eager. Maybe he smiles alot at you but
dosent rush right over to meet you.
I might be wierd but i like to be the aggressor. Drunk men with pick
up lines. Or guys who beg you to dance with them.
Men who still remember to open a door for a woman or help with her
coat. Old fashioned as it is....girls notice a guy with a little
class.
Guys with a large array of interests is always good. Always something
you can try.

[BeTheChange]

24. The equivalent of online stalking.. but in a nice way..

For instance, they have to have gotten to the point that I like their posts enough to know who they are. They absolutely must be smooth and not desperate.

[Kellis]

25. I don't know really.

It all depends on the individual himself.I am attracted to confident types who act very casual and nonchalant about 'hitting' on me-like its no big deal if I like them or not.
I know they are interested if they come up to me so it is not necessary for them to try too hard....but its all got to do with 'chemistry' really.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

26. There's certainly no recipe, but I tend to think

"oh, wow" instead of "oh, no!" if I'm approached by someone who has a wide-ranging mind and a sense of verbal play without being "on" all the time, like a perpetual stand-up comedian. Quiet, dry humor is the best, especially when it refers perfectly to the occasion at hand and is accompanied by wicked glints in the eyes. Masculinity without macho is the ideal, and I don't mind a bit of shyness.

We can take it from there. :-)

Turn-offs include being unwashed and sloppy, the smell of tobacco smoke, rehearsed generic pick-up lines, getting overtly sexual right away, expressing right-wing views (or even conventional wisdom), getting drunk, visibly checking out all the other women with that old up-and-down glance when he's supposedly talking to me, telling me how wonderful or how awful his ex was, going on and on about his computer/car/collection of old radios/experiences in role-playing games/ in a monotone while he stares intently at my forehead as if trying to drill into my brain.

[HEyHEY]

31. YEah - DO tell!

[Floogeldy]

32. Question about the "smell good" thing

One person said Old Spice. Another said after shave.

Anything else? Aren't most colognes gagging?

Or do you just mean no BO?

[yvr girl]

33. Depends on the lady

BO is always a turn off. Some people like colgnes, and some don't. I personally love aftershave, not usually Old Spice. I could rattle off a few, but they need to work with your body chemistry. What smells good on one person isn't going to work for the next.

I really do have a serious weakness for it. It makes me want to snuggle up close.

[Schema Thing]

36. I'm lucky in that dept.

I never wear cologne or after shave (can NOT put it on lightly enough to not feel the need to gag the rest of the day), and yet on several occasions I've had women hug me and say "mmm, what are you wearing". Most times, this is after a day of hard work or even a workout w/no shower yet.

I probably would not get the same reaction if they hugged me after I'd just sweated getting a traffic ticket or some other high stress situation.

[Lorien]

40. Gagging only if you splash it on

a touch of Old Spice on a guy who has recently showered,and is wearing freshly laundered clothing (not dry cleaned, though; think Tide) is pretty damn sexy!

[Nikia]

35. No dumb pick up lines

Some of my husband's friends were reading pick up lines out of a men's magazine. They asked my opinion and I said that I would run away screaming if some guy said almost any of them, even when I was single.

[the Princess]

37. For me

I am a sucker for a man with a sense of humor.
A man with a full beard (I likes my men fuzzy)
And a confident man who is really a big *mush* on the inside.
And one who is capable of being a part of a couple - meaning a man who is not afraid to do the dishes - clean and do laundry.
And he MUST be a good lover :)

I got all that and more in CO Liberal. :)

[Tsiyu]

39. I want a man who can drive a tractor

Seriously, I am into non- American men (so fake an accent?) but I am finding more and more that I am really connecting with much younger American men.

Now, I have sons who are 25, so this is obscene to me - even though I have male and female friends who have been with much younger/older partners and never thought a thing about it. For ME it just seemed silly to be 45 with a 25-year-old.

It's not just the physical beauty of younger men; it's the way they treat women. The way they raise their kids. The younger men I know are much more into respecting and listening to women than men my age.

Actually, I believe all the decent men my age are taken, so that may explain it.

But I have the most enjoyable, stress-free conversations with the younger guys, with few stereotypes thrown in as I would have with 45-year-old men. And normally, if I think someone is hot I clam up- can't speak. But even the hottest of these young cuties can't phase me. Haven't ACTED on this younger man thing, but if they keep pestering me, I don't know......