Happy f 'ing new year. Husband moving out tomorrow.

[Minimus]

My head is still spinning. Last week his idea was "prove we have the same goals by not buying anything deemed unnecessary for one year"

I went to see a counselor on Wed. The talking helped and gave me the power to come home and ask husband questions about where all this was heading. He said he had been talking to a guy at work who is looking for a roommate. Today he tells me he gave him a check for the rent and is moving TOMORROW! He also announced he has seen a counselor and his counselor recommended that he move out. I asked about joint counseling and he will discuss it with his counselor at their next appointment.

Okay, so one could say 2005 is not getting off to a good start in my life. But I watch the news coverage of the tsunami victims and tell myself it could be worse.

[Cuban_Liberal]

1. I'm sorry.

:hug:

[Not_Giving_Up]

2. Fresh start on a new year

I remember that thread quite well...Seems like this may be the best thing to do (even if it's only temp while you work things out).

:hug:

[tsakshaug]

3. Sorry

Hope all of this works out for the best for you and your life

[Midlodemocrat]

4. I am so sorry for you

...you are in my thoughts and prayers. Please stay well. There are people that care about you here,

[Minimus]

10. Thanks, I will probably be venting/crying on DU more and more.

[Prodemsouth]

5. Sorry to hear this and it shows how strong you are that you are putting

it into the right prespective.

[demnan]

6. Change the locks

and I hope you have some understanding friends to spend time with.

[Tweed]

42. I agree

[Droopy]

7. From reading this and your previous posts on the subject

If I were you I'd have one thing to say to your husband: "Good riddance! See you in divorce court."

[LeftCoast]

8. Read your previous thread

Sorry to hear that he's moving out of your life, but it sounds like in the long run, it may be best. Please look out for your best interests, both financial and emotional. Do check into the lawyer, if you haven't already. Sounds like your husband has all his ducks in a row for a quick divorce leaving you with a bunch of new debt...

Hang in there... :hug:

[northernsoul]

58. hate to say it, but get in touch with a lawyer

I don't know all the background here, and I'm all in favor of joint counselling and attempts at reconciliation when they are likely to be effective - but, my experience in family law is that you should at least have a game plan in place for when / if you get served with divorce papers. Hopefully it won't come to that, but it sure is good to have a skilled professional in your corner if it does. Contact your local bar association for referral to a good lawyer. If you're in the Twin Cities by any chance, I'd be happy to make a reccommendation.

Legal advice aside, you have my sincerest sympathies over your situation and I hope that this journey ultimately brings you to a better place.

[zann725]

9. I'm so sorry.

What a New Year's gift.
You DEFINITELY should see a counselor TOGETHER...to at least 'air' the TRUE reasons for the split now, and see if any compromise could be worked out? Sometimes when a 'wise' third party is in the room with BOTH parties, all is not as hopeless as it seems.

Take care. Keep busy with friends. My heart goes out to you.

[gollygee]

11. I'm sorry

I remember the thread too and it might be for the best, for a while at least.

Maybe you should see a counsellor of your own to help you through this.

:hug:

[Minimus]

16. I saw one on Wednesday, and she helped me

"take back my power" then when I came home and stood up to husband and starting asking questions, he starts talking about moving out.

I have another counseling appointment next week, so I will definitely stay with it. She made me realize he is trying to blame me for everything and not taking any responsibility.

But I was still shocked that he had already begun the preparation for moving out.

I'm numb/angry/scared and starting to get a "who gives a f**k - just leave" attitude as a defense mechanism.

[patdem]

28. Sounds like he was either 'planning' this to cause a break up or the guy

at work wants a roommate of your husband and has talked him into this situation. WOW...what a JOLT... I too read your last thread, but had nothing to offer, since I am an expert on divorce but not on marriage! Good luck to you for the future! :hug:

[cookies7]

38. That's the thing about leaving

When someone leaves, they have the benefit of planning usually. Sometimes weeks, months. The one who is left is "hit" with it all at once. They usually say they had no warning. He's had time to work it through emotionally and you are just beginning. Learn how to empower yourself and move forward. Don't look back.
Are you sure he isn't moving in with another woman and just trying to throw you off? Sorry, but the truth can be dealt with. A lie is just a lot harder. BTW. Don't let time be your enemy. While you are still reeling, he's had time to see an atty most likely. Beat him to the punch! AS hard as it is, Act like the aggressor, not the victim and seek a good attorney immediately. Make an appt for Monday.

[underseasurveyor]

12. Damn Minimus that truly sucks. I'm sorry.

Losing Sonic and now your husband is moving out and leaving :freak:
You need lots of these :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

Try not to minimize your own experiences and feelings as compared to those tsunami victims. What you are going through is just as real, just as valid and just as traumatic as any major life changing experience can be. Loss is loss and death and destruction are not necessarily the ultimate forms of loss.

Take care of your precious self :grouphug:
And, ya know where many broad shoulders and a lot ears hang out:dem:

[Maat]

15. I echo temperancedissent's sentiments.

Hugs! We are here! 2005 will be a good year for you. And this law student believes that the advice about seeking a lawyer is wise. Why? Because there are tricks to the trade - and a lawyer will be worth every penny, in my humble opinion. Go to a legal aid clinic, if you can't afford one. You find these clinics through the local bar association.

And, this retired social worker says, 'get thyself into a support group.' You can find them through the local Mental Health Department (you can find counselors there too). Or check with your private counselor.

Emotional support is here too! And your are in my prayers (affirmative thoughts)!

[Left Is Write]

13. I'm sorry.

You don't know me, so I'm not sure what to say that won't sound hollow: but I am sorry you are going through a rough time. How ever it turns out, I wish you the best.

[Divernan]

14. Definitely monitor what he takes with him from your home.

Sounds like he had this all planned out well before you even posted your first thread a few days ago. If he's moving in as a "roommate" with a guy at work, he should be more than willing to give you contact information: address, phone number and also name of guy he' s moving in with. Whether you two go to counseling or go through a divorce, you are legally married and need to be able to be in touch with each other. If he refuses to give you this information, I expect it's because he's moving in with a woman.

Don't let him walk out with major furniture, antiques, wedding gifts, all the CDs/DVDs, etc. DO make a list of whatever he does take, although he may have been moving stuff over there ahead of time.

You will have taxes to file soon. If you file separately, you both may end up paying more. Talk to an accountant about that. Your husband probably forged your signature to take your name off the checking accounts, and he may try it on the tax returns too. Also, there would not be room in the new place for much besides maybe a set of bedroom furniture.

See a divorce lawyer immediately to understand how to protect yourself. It sounds very much like your husband has already retained counsel. That's probably why he needed a private checking account - so he could pay his lawyer's retainer.

I know this is brutally hard on you - but really, this is a new beginning for you - and I think you will be surprised at how great it is to be free of the constant stress this guy has brought into your life.

[cookies7]

40. Great Advice

I agree wholeheartedly

[Forkboy]

17. I'm sorry

My wife left me last week.I know how you're feeling.

I hope things turn around for you.It sounds like there still might be some hope for the both of you to work things out.

[underseasurveyor]

46. Oh I didn't know that Forkboy, sorry to hear that.

Haven't been around much the past few weeks. Ya know how it goes, if it's not one thing, it's ten:freak:

You could use some of these yer-self :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:




(Formerly known as RFK2 ;-) )

[deminflorida]

64. Me too, sorry about that man....

n/t

[jdots]

68. oh minimus that sucks

I promiss it will get better,why and how ? it just will.
I am going thru the same thing as are alot of people.
Tonight will be sad and lonely,but people make such a big deal about new years,we should all celebrate it later.

[peacebird]

18. sigh....

i wish you all the best, Minimus. i hope i'm not out of line by repeating this : PLEASE open your own account and make sure to do it soon, taking enough out of the joint account to cover expenses in your home. HE is leaving, you are not. It is up to him to accept the added cost of a second home, not you to accept paying for your joint home alone.
oh - and DO change all locks asap. one other word of advice - close out all joint credit cards or at least block additional charges on them. my friend ended up owing thousands of dollars after her husband left, these steps could have kept her out of bankruptcy court.
:hug:

[prolesunited]

26. Also, if you can get through TODAY

make sure to get your name off or freeze all jointly held credit cards. You had way more assets coming into this and if he's trying to set up a new life for himself, don't let him do it on your credit line.

You said he didn't have good credit. Don't let him ruin yours. It's hard to be practical at such a difficult time, but you really do need to think these things through. He seems like the type who would abuse your goodwill. Don't give him the opportunity.

MEET WITH A LAWYER MONDAY!!!

We're all here for you and many have gone through the same thing and can help.

[mcscajun]

19. So very sorry...

Glad you went to the counselor though and are going to keep going. Good move! The idea of going to a counselor together is good, too, if you AND he want to save the marriage; if only one of you wants it...well... :shrug:

I read your previous thread (and made comment there) and I'll echo it again. Lawyer. Protect yourself. And as someone else said...watch what goes out of the house. If he's moving out, you have every right to change the locks and control his access to what is now Your Place.

And as to the tsunami victims, as much as you and the rest of us feel for them, you have to take care of yourself now. Don't let your energy level get sucked out by watching the news...your emotional reserves are important. There is a time to be selfish...this is your time.

I'm saying a lot to someone I hardly know...but been there...done that...buy all my own T-shirts now. :)

2005 may start off rocky for you...but you've got lots of support. :hug:

[SmokingJacket]

20. You deserve better.

He didn't treat you well at all.

Of course, there are two sides to every story, but from what you posted last week... well, good f'ing riddance.

2005 will be MUCH better without him.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[Bronco69]

21. I remember reading your post from last week.

It sounded then, and seeing as how his moving out is a surprise to you, it sounds now like he was using you. It's happened to me before and it's really hard! Since he is moving in with someone else instead of moving out on his own it just tells me that he is looking for someone who will agree with him so he doesn't have to feel guilty. You have a lot of friends here and you are going to be just fine. :grouphug:

[Blue-Jay]

22. Condolences & Congratulations.

Not an easy thing, you're experiencing, but from reading your previous posts, I'd have to say that it's probably the right thing to have happen.

Good luck, kiddo.

[Minimus]

30. Thanks - and your squirrel/bush picture made me laugh!

[LeftyMom]

23. Get a friend to stay with you while he packs up his stuff.

The bigger the friend is the better. If you think he's going to be a real ass get a camcorder (borroww or rent one if you don't have to) and videotape him going out the door with whatever he takes with him.

Close your accounts out before he does, get new ones in your name only at a different bank. Take all the money and them give him whatever his share is as a money order. Make him sign something saying you gave it to him, so he can't claim you took all the money when you go to court.

I'm sorry you're going through this. :(

[musette_sf]

24. It COULD be worse

but this is what is happening to you, right now. Don't minimize it because there will always be suffering in the world.

(Makes me wonder if you are/was raised Catholic... I was and I guilt myself the same way; "Oh, there is so much worse that is going on in the world, who am I to feel sorry for myself?")

I don't know you, but I did read and comment on your previous post. My angry opinion (formed by my poor sweet sister going through a similar situation), is that the Tsunami of Life has mercifully swept away a giant stain upon your life.

He was planning to leave all along. When you showed a backbone he showed his cards. At least he had to do it to your face, instead of leaving some cowardly note or message to do the deed.

You need legal help, and to make sure ASAP that you have a clear picture of the money and property situation.

PS, I'm willing to bet that his "counselor", if he has one, said no such thing re him moving out. Unless, of course, his "counselor" is Ms. Waiting In The Wings. (Like poor Annie in First Wives Club!!!) And what kind of weasel says to his WIFE whom he supposedly loves or loved, "Hmmm, let me find out if my counselor thinks I should go to joint counseling with you"?

It STINKS and I am on your side. I hope you find 2005 to be a Year of Living Authentically. Sarah Ban Breathnach's books have been a comfort to me at times in my life like this.... :hug: Maybe you would enjoy her too.

[Minimus]

33. Thanks for the kind words.

This week my counselor said something similar when I started talking about the tsunami. She said my husband was the tidal wave of my life and what I was going through deserved my feelings.

Husband raised Catholic. I am Quaker, but have always had a guilt complex (Low self esteem I guess).

I will check into the books, thanks for that suggestion too.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

49. Minimus, were you the one who wrote about going out to lunch?

I'm sorry; I forgot the ID of the person. The 'headline' was 'My husband's a tool." I suggested the "Venus and Mars" book.

I'm really sorry. You are a strong woman. You will be fine. Stay with the counseling whether or not it is joint/marital. Take care of you! :hug:

[gardenista]

55. Such good observations. My sister also went through this, it is eerily

similar, including the loss of a beloved pet just before her husband left. His indifference to the loss of the pet was the clincher for her, emotionally.

I am afraid that both of our experiences, watching sisters who we care about have probably made us both cynical. I must say that my own soon to be ex brother-in-law lived up to my worst expectations of him.

He lied about why he was leaving, by doing the same thing-moving in with a male "friend". Didn't mention that his girlfriend was also moving in. He tried to hide assets, and is still trying to do so. He immediately slacked off on the small business that my sister financed, and which had just started to turn a profit. I could go on...

Anyway, don't be surprised if there are some twists and turns. Especially don't be surprised if he somehow doesn't get around to getting all of his stuff out tomorrow. Try and get him to agree that he has taken all he needs so that you can change the locks.

Finally, how attached are you to the home that you live in? I can only say that in my sister's experience, the cloud was lifted after she realized she didn't have to stay there, either. She moved across the country, to the state where we grew up, and the change in her in the last six months is no less than remarkable.

She is happy, having fun, has lost about 35 pounds, is taking care of herself for the first time in years (after having her self-esteem whitled away for years), and starting a new life. She even picked up where she left off with a relationship she had before she met her ex.

This is long-winded, but just an attempt to let you know that it can get worse, but after it gets worse, it's going to get much, much better.

I wish you all the best!

[Pepperbelly]

25. how long have you been married?

None of my business but since you brought it up ...

[Minimus]

34. a little over 4 1/2 years.

[Pepperbelly]

47. I was married for 13 years.

When we decided to put asunder the bonds of matrimony, it sucked even though we were arguing constantly and life was totally miserable. It sucked good for a year or two.

Then things planed out.

Of course, I do not know your wishes in the matter, that is if you want to reconcile or disolve the relationship or just wait and see, but believe me on this --it gets better if the split is permanent. I mean ... it is always hard but it is certainly not insurmountable.

I was very quick to want to re-marry within a year or so of my divorce but did not. And now, truthfully, I am very content, satisfied, and pleased with my lot. Two of my grown kiddos still live with me and overall, we are mainly friends and room-mates.

Be brave. Keep your chin up. And remember, even if things seem pretty bad, it WILL get better. Peace, happiness, and prosperity to you in the new year.

[skygazer]

27. I'm so sorry, Minimus

Divernan's post has a lot of excellent advice as do most of the others. I know how hard it is to focus on all those details but you really need to in order to protect your interests. Sometimes it seems easier to tell them, 'just take it all and go' but that's not fair nor is it right.

I remember your previous posts in regard to this and they really rang some alarm bells for me as they did for you. I'm so sorry you are going through this but you know we are all here for you. :hug: :hug: :hug:

[sandnsea]

29. Aw sweetie, I'm so sorry

I hate when life sucks. And suffering is suffering, you can't really put it on a scale. Nobody seems to get out of this life without their share of suffering though. Big hug. :hug:

[flvegan]

31. Yeah, Happy New Year

Sorry to hear that. Though, would you rather he told you he was leaving in a month, then have to spend the time cohabitating with him? I don't know, just trying to guess at how I'd feel in the same position.

Talk it over with your counselor, clap your hands and say "good riddance" and move forward. So easy for me to say.

[Fleshdancer]

32. You deserve better.

May you experience the best years of your life without him in them and may his bad karma kick him in the ass threefold.

[Minimus]

35. One big Thank You to all of you supportive DUers!

You guys are great!

[nightwish_chick]

37. I'm terribly sorry to hear this. I wish you the best.

After he leaves immediately have the locks changed so if he believes he can come and go as he pleases, he'll have a surprise. Please forgive me but I must say what a f**king selfish pos jerk he is! You don't think he was cheating do you? Did you know cheaters will use every mistake you've ever made against you to somehow compensate for their infidelity and wrong-doing? They'll turn small,trivial things into huge things just to justify their guilt and pushing them toward their little bed-buddy. I'm sorry but I can not stand cheaters. I dunno if he had done this to you but it sounds like he has a guilty conscience he is trying to shift away from by blaming you for everything. What an fn jerk! I truly hope you find someone better and you do deserve someone much better. Think of him as the trash in your life that is being taken out even if it was his decision to leave, think of it as nature's way of saying he is not good enough for you.

I hope you have a happy new year even though I know it will be difficult to but just think of 2005 as a brand new start for you, a clean slate, becoming a new person. I'm sure you'll find a new man this year who will treat you with respect and love you soooo much more than this jerk has and he'll be jealous of your happiness because he'll realize what he lost. Keep your head up, 2005 is less than a day a way, time for new beginnings my friend :) Big hugs and best of wishes*~ April

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

52. I might think about going in for a pelvic exam after reading nightwish's

post and getting tested for STDs or worse (not to scare you, Minimus). You must take care of yourself, BODY, mind and soul. I hope he didn't cheat on you, but again, I wouldn't take the chance. I'd get that physical.

[wolfgirl]

36. My sympathies go out to you....

Now...change the locks, move your $$ to a separate account, continue with the counseling and hopefully all will be well before this time next year!

[goddess40]

39. Dear Minimus,

Goddess40' mom here. You have received some excellent advice on this board. I went thru a divorse many years ago and it was the start of a better life for me. It was very hard at first financially and if it weren't for my mother it would have been worse. My mother and my good friends saw me through the bad times. My life became so much happier without my husband. My bit of advice: get a good, tough lawyer. My lawyer was very easy going and I just wanted every thing to be over so I gave a lot away. Fight for what you want and need. Good luck and let us all know how you are getting along.

[Pithlet]

59. I second Goddess40

My divorce was the start of a better life for me, too. It's still a very painful process to go through, but it can also be a change that leads to happier times. I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. :hug:

[barb162]

41. sounds like he's had this planned for a while and is one step ahead

of you right now. Like the other poster mentioned here, get a tough lawyer. I am so sorry. There is no good time for this to happen

[HuskiesHowls]

43. Try not to be alone

after he leaves. Just having a friend over to talk to, someone to be there with/for you will help a lot.

Your counselor is correct about this being the biggest thing in your life right now. You don't need to be worrying about other people in the world, and what they are going through; you need to be taking care of yourself first.

If you've been going to church, and have a good relationship with the minister, talking to him/her can also help you out right now.

Take care, know that this isn't going to be an easy time, but that it will get better.

[48pan]

44. I'm very sorry butt...

After reading last week's post, I was worried that he might turn violent. This may be the best thing that could happen in this case.

Get a good lawyer.

[Blue Gardener]

45. I'm sorry Minimus

I remember your post from the other day. You sound like a strong person who will come through all of this with head held high. I hope you have a really good support system near you. If not, you always have DU.
Take care.

[auntAgonist]

48. Hang in there Minimus

[crispini]

50. Wow, I remember your previous thread.

You've gotten lots of good advice so I'll just second it and add a :hug: for you.

[radwriter0555]

51. this is great news! Please get to a lawyer NOW and get the child

support worked out while he still feels VERY guilty.

BTW, chances, sadly, are VERY good that he's seeing someone else... so use his natural guilt to get the very best settlement you can right NOW, before he gets all angry and bitter.

[Padraig18]

53. He tried to sucker-punch you, financially.

The rat has been planning to split for some time, I'd wager; THAT'S why he didn't want you to spend money--- so he could finance his little surprise attack. I'd immediately drain every dime out of every bank account and joint asset you have, or could get your hands on, although I suspect HE has aleady done that. I'd also hire the meanest, nastiest divorce lawyer within 100 miles as soon as possible.

:hug:

[gardenista]

56. I'll second that! nt

[GOPisEvil]

54. I wish you the best. I have a feeling this is all for the best.

Remember, living well is the best revenge.

[Schema Thing]

57. Sorry for your pain

It will end though. To the extent you can, take charge. This guy does not play fair, so feel no compulsion to go easy on him. View this as better than the alternative (being married to a person like this).

I know it hurts.

[AccessGranted]

60. Be Strong, Focus and You'll Be Just Fine

I've been there and done that. I know it's hard, but try to think positive. Think about yourself and where you want your life to go. Sometimes love and relationships blind us to who we really are or who we can be. Maybe you two will work things out and reconcile. I hope so, if that is what you truly want. I had my husband walk out on me when my son was a little over a year old. I never saw him again and neither did my son. My son is now twelve and his father has never tried to get in touch with him or me. I know he's still alive because I get an occasional child support check when he's working. It was really hard. I felt like a loser and a failure and I couldn't shake that feeling, so I thought about what I really wanted and I went for it. I pursued a dream of completing college and I did it! Keeping busy doing something positive helped to lift my spirits, re-think my path in life and realize that being alone is not the worst thing in the world if you've got something positive going on. My son got to see me graduate from college and I've shown him and myself that you can find hope when there seems to be none, that you overcome any obstacle, that dreams can become reality, that another person cannot define you unless you let them, that life is what you make it and it can be positive and beautiful if you want it to be. So, no matter what happens, believe that you will be fine and you will be. Happy new year and I wish you all the best.

[stevedeshazer]

61. Kids?

No mention of kids.

If so, it is infinitely more difficult.

Peace.

[Sanity Claws]

62. Maybe it's better that it ends now

instead of dragging out longer.
I wish you the best in this sad time.

[deminflorida]

63. Sorry, I hope things get better for you in 2005....

n/t

[miss_kitty]

65. I am so sorry.

I'm glad you saw a counselor. I hope this puts your life on a track that is fulfilling and joyful for you.

And don't go too far in minimising your pain over this. Suffering is relative. And loss of spouse is THE major stressor in life. I hope you keep up with your counseling.

Go buy some bulbs and some birdseed too, Minimus. :)

[Ilsa]

66. I have nothing to add except

I'm really sorry, and "Peace and Blessing to you" as you start a new year trying to figure out this relationship.

[short bus president]

67. I'm sorry to hear it.

I can tell you from bitter experience that it sucks beyond the telling of it when people you love go plotting things with others and never spare a thought for you 'til the day they say "this is what I've decided, goodbye."

2005 does feel like it's gonna be a lot like 2004, shitty-wise, dunnit? Stupid arbitrary years.

[disillusioned1]

69. My husband left me last week

It sucks, even when you want it and expect it. PM me if you need to talk, rant, cry, etc. It helped me tremendously.

[supernova]

70. Well, sorry to hear this, Minimus.

:hug: But everybody's right. It's probably for the best.

What a jerk to think he could stick you with all the financial stuff while he moves merrily on down the line. :grr:

I'm glad you're parting company and not getting into anything abusive. That would defintely be worse.

Still. :hugs: for you because it is the end of a dream. :hug:

And get a good lawyer. You'll need it.

[TrustingDog]

71. oiy. no warnings? he sounds likes an assholio.

and don't get into this crap of 'there are so many other sufferings besides my tiny ones.'
You are important to you, that is all we have in the end. If we are healthy and well we are able to do so much more for others.

you PM me girl, and we can talk if you like.

[shesemsmom]

72. I am sorry

but this could be the best thing that ever happened to you. Get a Lawyer first thing Monday. Don't let him ruin you!!
I read your post the other night and I was afraid this would happen. Prepare for the worst and know we are here for you. God bless and take care.

[Kenneth ken]

73. I am very sorry for you

you've already got lots of good advice here, so I'll just add take care of yourself, in every aspect of your life. :hug:

[Lostnote03]

74. LMAO....Whew!!!

....If that caught your attention. I'm set to release my first CD shortly and my gal is chasing an Elvis impersonator all over town.....LMAO......I'm NOT jealous!!!!....I'm Embarrased!!!.....LMAO while I'm getting drunk...LOL

[WarNoMore]

75. I'm so awfully sorry.

My son's wife left him the day before Christmas and I've been crying at the drop of hat all week.
I hope you can worki things out. A marriage is such a sad thing to waste.




On edit. I just responded without knowing all the background. I hope it works out for *you*

[TrustingDog]

76. I've been thru a couple of those things thru the decades...

what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.
I know at this point in time it is No Comfort to you, but it is real.

[Politicub]

77. I'm so sorry

I would be devastated if I were in your position.

But, who knows. It could be a blessing in disguise. I don't know if this helps, but I like to read Cary Tennis' http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2004/12/31/year_end/index.html">Since you Asked advice column in Salon when my partner and i are on the brink. It helps with bringing some perspective.

:hug:

[Tweed]

78. Happy Fu*king New Year to you too

[bigwillq]

79. So sorry to hear of this but

Maybe it is for the best. You may not realize it now but I believe that things happen for a reason and that things are meant to be (good and bad).

This man (although I do not know him) doesn't seem like he's willing to make the same committments as maybe you are. I mean, trying to make the marriage work.


I don't think it's healthy to force someone into staying when they don't want to. Let it take it's course. Maybe you two will be back together but if that doesn't happen, I'm sure you will be o.k.


It may be difficult for the time being but have strength throught this process. Do what you can to make the right choices for yourself.

And of course, we are all here at DU to listen to you cry/vent/yell/scream/....

:hug:

[Lydia Leftcoast]

80. Even if the relationship was on the skids, it's still hard to be dumped

But I have seen enough relationships and marriages break up to know that all the people above are absolutely right when they tell you to take care of your money and get a lawyer.

Can you transfer funds online tonight? That wouldn't be too soon.

[tyedyeto]

81. That happened to one of my best friends 15 or so years ago....

Her hubby walked out on New Year's Day.

Wasn't more than a few months later, she said it was the best thing that had happened to her. Now she's stronger and more independent than she was when she was married. Her b/f (says she will NEVER get married again) of 10 years is a sweetheart even tho he's a repug, but not a fanatic.
BTW, her ex is a nice guy and also a good friend, just had his head up his ass for a while.

Keep your chin up and you may find it's for the best.