If your parents just showed up at your door wanting to take

[Not_Giving_Up]

your kids, would you let them, or would you bitch because they didn't call first?

I ask this because my parents did this yesterday, and told me this morning that they'll keep the boogers tonight. My husband is pissed because they just showed up, didn't call first, and then I let them take the kids. Well, I hardly ever get a break from them (outside of work), and any twinkle of a break that's presented to me, I'll take it! What do you think? Should they be made to call first? One of his complaints that if he had known they were going to do this, we could have made plans. We never make plans, he always wants to stay home. I told him that if he wants to go do something after he gets off at nine, we can.

[iconoclastic cat]

As long as they plan to give the kids back at some point,

have fun, kiddies!

[Not_Giving_Up]

8. Oh yes, they will give them back

No question there!

[Pepperbelly]

1. sounds pretty decent of them to me ...

If you want someone to make an appointment to do you a favor, there probably won't be many of getting done for you.

[Not_Giving_Up]

6. I agree! My parents personify chaos

They never plan anything...they were in the area, dropped in.

[Fla Dem]

50. I agree, but...what if you had made plans with the kids that day?

Would you have canceled your plans so as not to disappoint your parents? Or go ahead with your plans, feel guilty and have your parents peeved at you? What if the kids had plans for the day, a friends birthday party, or outing with friends. Would you have made your kids decide which to choose,and made them feel guilty if they didn't pick Grammy and Grampa? Or Grammy and Grampa would feel bad if the kids picked their friends over them ?

I agree, swell of your parents to give you day off, but it shouldn't be a big bother for them to to call up the night before just to make sure there weren't other plans already in the works.

[Pepperbelly]

53. i would take if anyway I could get it.

Seriously.

A break is a break and child care is OUTRAGEOUS!

[skygazer]

2. Of course I'd let them and no bitching about it!

Good heavens, take whatever you can get! It's not like it's a perfect stranger showing up and so what if you can't make plans? Do something on the fly or just take advantage of the time off to have sex in the living room or something!

[blueknight]

3. be appreciative of them,

and tell hubby to grow up

[Not_Giving_Up]

10. Do you know how many times I've said that? n/t

[Padraig18]

4. No offense, but tell your husband to pull his head out of his ass. n/t

[Not_Giving_Up]

11. Do you know how many times I've said THAT??? n/t

[Padraig18]

18. I can imagine.

:hug:

[Orsino]

19. Harshly put, but...

...I tend to agree. It all depends upon the nature of your relationship. Are you allowed to drop in on them without warning?

If hubby had specific plans that involved the kids--and which couldn't wait--perhaps he should have let you and the others in on them.

[Not_Giving_Up]

23. We are allowed, but we don't

He had no plans with the kids, he's just being an ass to put me in a bad mood...HEY! It worked!

[Art_from_Ark]

48. If Daddy had no special plans for the kids, then

what's the big deal for him??

Heck, when I was a kid, I always loved those rare occasions when my grandmother popped in unexpectedly to take me to her house, which was really a magical place place for me.

[gardenista]

5. Sorry, I've been following your threads. Your husband sounds very

controlling and unsupportive. Of couse you could encourage him to go pick them up and follow through with a better plan, taking them to the movies, or bowling, or whatever.

Why do you have to make plans? Just go for it. Dinner and a movie!

[Not_Giving_Up]

13. Yeah, he's a real winner, I know

He would not take them to do any of this, even if he wasn't working until 9, so he needs to shut up!

[sugar magnolia]

7. Well, if it were my mom I'd send them in a heartbeat.

It wouldn't bother me a whit that she hadn't called first.

But if it were my in-laws, I'd probably be pissed. We don't get along too well so pretty much everything they do pisses me off.

[Not_Giving_Up]

17. Well, he hates my parents...go figure

But I'm not real big on his mom, and I get told when they are going to her house (decided between mommy and him)!

[radwriter0555]

39. Your parents are great folks, and they will always be there for you..

and your husband won't.

In fact, you should really just plan now to leave him so he doesn't screw you over when he leaves YOU.

Your parents are awesome.

Your husband isn't.

Now, unless you LIKE all this drama and wish to continue it until he fully screws you over, you should plan now to make a life independent of his. If you truly want to stop being a victim, email me sometime. The past isn't important. The future is.

[gollygee]

9. I'd be thrilled

if my parents wanted to do that. My grandma used to and it made me feel really good that she loved us so much she would drop everything and come get us.

[ogradda]

12. well, they might have just done it on the spur of the moment

to be nice, or thought it would be a good surprise. i'm with you, if someone offers to take my darlings overnite i'm too busy shedding tears of joy to be that picky :)

[htuttle]

14. My kids are in their twenties

They can have them.

[Coyote_Bandit]

15. Send Those Kiddies Packing

Enjoy whatever time the two of you can get alone together. Your folks offer to take the kids may have been spontaneous. Be thankful that they are willing to keep the kiddos tonight and allow the two of you to ring in the new year together.

[SheilaT]

16. My parents

and my in-laws never took the kids, so I simply can't relate to this. How wonderful it would have been had they ever wanted to spend time like than with my sons.

In fairness, they were somewhat old grandparents when my kids were born -- Mom was 66, my in-laws in their mid-70s, so it's somewhat understandable.

But your husband should appreciate your folks wanting to spend the time with them, rather than complain over something that's really trivial. Yeah, it would have been nice had they called first, but somehow the not phoning first strikes me as trivial.

Enjoy your child-free New Year's Eve!

[Not_Giving_Up]

20. I'm going to try...I might have a better time if it was husband free too!

At least I have 3 more hours of that!

[wellstone dem]

21. I would fall on my knees

and grab them and hug them and thank them. My sister and I do that sometimes, just "kidnap" each other's kids. It is always such a relief. And when I take her daughter, it's always when I have the extra energy.

Your husband is wrong, your parents were trying to give you a nice surprise.

[LeftyMom]

22. It'd never happen

My Dad has no time, Mom has no energy due to health issues, and the IL's live in another state (and aren't allowed to watch Leftykid alone anyhow because they don't respect our parenting decisions or foolow instructions about what LK can eat and how he's disciplined.)

If it did happen, I'd be pissed, since geting LK packed up with diapers and training pants, food he can eat (allergies) etc is a chore.

[Not_Giving_Up]

24. Sounds like MY in-laws

Please don't give the ADHD, ODD, Aspie kid CHOCOLATE! When you do, please don't call me to come and get him off your ceiling! Yet, his mom gets them whenever she wants.

[LeftyMom]

25. With my IL's it's dairy and soda

My parents could babysit if they gave me a bit of warning, they don't agree with all of our parenting decisions but they respect our right to make them. The IL's see any deviations from thier lifestyle or parenting choices as some sort of attack. :eyes:

[Not_Giving_Up]

26. Oh, caffeine! He doesn't get any of that either...

But he came home from the in-law's once proclaiming that he'd had coffee. Her defense was it that it was all milked down and full of sugar. Oh, even better! Why not just give him cocoa??

[Democrat 4 Ever]

31. I'm the grandma and so far the parents have never said a word

when I show up and ask the kids if they are ready for an adventure. Think they are just glad to had some free time and they know I would never dare do anything I think they might find objectionable. Four of the grandkids now live closer to me but for several years it was a standing date every summer all of the grandkids (all five - all girls) would come stay with me for two full weeks - no parents allowed. They now range in age from 17 down to 8 years old and we have a ball. (Several years they have even brought along some friends to stay, too.)

They are fantastic kids and the day is quickly approaching when they will have better things to do than hang out with me. Until then we enjoy each other.

One summer we did the grand tour of Kentucky with Pinky the plastic pink flamingo yard art. We made costumes and then drove all over the state taking pictures of this bird at a lot of the local sites. We have the bird dressed up as Abe Lincoln at Lincoln's birthplace in Hodgenville, Ky (a Japanese tour group somehow got the idea it was an "American thing" to dress up birds as dead presidents - we ended up having scores of photos made of us making photos of Pinky).

He/she/it was a "southern" belle (Hoop skirt, bonnet and parasol!) at my Old Kentucky Home, the bird went spelunking (tiny little hard hat and pick ax) at Mammoth Cave National Park, cruised the Ohio River on the paddle-wheel Belle of Louisville, snuck into the backside of Churchill Downs and a very kind horse owner let the bird have its picture made atop a million dollar nag in her own special jockey silks, we swam in a couple of lakes, fished in Green River, saw the moonbow at Cumberland Falls, "made" bourbon at Marker's Mark Distillery in Loretta and even dress up as a monk and hung out during vespers at Gethsemane Monastery outside of Bardstown one quiet evening.

The bird has had the honor of hearing the Louisville Orchestra play in our local park under the stars on a warm summer night, saw a local production of "Annie Get Your Gun," and went to the movies several times. That bird did the grand tour of our state capital (very political bird - environment is THE issue), visited Daniel and Rebecca Boone's grave, and even had its picture made inside the Governor's Mansion in Frankfort. The kids took great pleasure in showing that bird many of the beauties of our fair state. Pinky has retired from touring and has moved to Florida to live out her retirement (translastion - haven't a clue where the bird is) but the girls will always have the memories and the laughs of that summer showing Kentucky to a "vistor."

Unless the grandparents, aunts, uncles, good friends, etc. are possibly harmful - let them take the kids - it could make memories they will never forget.

[yellowdogintexas]

34. I HAVE to have a picture of Pinky in the spelunker's gear!!!

I used to cave with the mapping crew at Mammoth CAve and that would just be a hugely fun thing to send around to some of my caving buds

I take it you live in KY? What part? I grew up in Todd County, south of Bowling Green.

My daughter (we live in Texas) went to Kentucky a couple of times and spend two weeks with my mom and my sister. they did all kinds of fun things. My older niece who lives in Conn. did the same thing when she was in jr high

Oh did Pinky get its photo made in the Floral Clock? I wish I had had him/her/it on choir tour when my daughter was a freshman. Our bus's mascot was a pink flamingo names Cherijello.

What an adventure. And what a wonderful grand ma you are..but then you are apparantly a Kentucky grandma and they are pretty good! I should know I had two of them.

[Democrat 4 Ever]

37. I have all the pics of that grand summer - it was 4-5 years ago

I'll have to dig them out and and email the spelunking one to you. It might take awhile to find them - I've had a significant personal change in the last few years and the jerk took half the family photos with him when he left. And he doesn't share well.

For some reason we didn't get any pictures of Pinky at the floral clock. Not sure why. The grandkids and I can get to talking about that summer odyssey and get to laughing ourselves silly over some of the fast talking we did for some of those photos. (The only time we paid to get in anywhere was the Belle of Louisville - thought getting arrested as stowaways was too advanced for my little darlings.) Our rule of thumb was we could spend no money - except for gas. We scrounged around for "costumes" and supplies, packed a lunch, grabbed a camera and off we would go. Our creed was anyone can spend money but it takes brains to be resourceful and inventive. (They much more than me!) Our motto is, "That ain't no mountain for a climber...and we are climbers."

I have always believe that grandkids are God's reward for not killing your kids when they were teenagers - and He has paid off in spades for me. Those kids are smarter, kinder, funnier, more talented, and beautiful inside and out. They are a pleasure and a privilege to me to be part of their lives. It is not always easy, especially when they live far away, but grandparents have to work at it.

I was born and lived in Taylor County until I married. I have lived in Hardin County for the last 33 years. My kids were raised here so now it is home, its a nice (well...except for the red voting, religious zealot yahoos when it comes to politics) small town with delusions of grandeur of becoming a big city. Hardin County is centrally located and an easy drive for just about anything the girls and I can come up with to do.

One of my main goals in life (besides raising truly good and kind children - check, done) is that after I am gone I want memories of me to bring a smile to my loved ones lips. Now that's a legacy!

[yellowdogintexas]

44. take your time with the photo, I just really appreciate it

I am engaged in a photo sorting project, bought some of those neat boxes at Garden Ridge and am going through envelopes of photos and sorting by categories: cats;travel;family; etc. So I understand about digging out a photo. My project started because I wanted to scan some stuff into webshots and then onto DU.....


Hardin county: Hardinsburg? Been away a long time, haven't I

I graduated from Kentucky Wesleyan, so my blood runs purple, not UK blue. Loyalty must be declared: are you a Wildcat, Cardinal or Hilltopper fan? LOL

thanks, and always nice to run into a Kentuckian ...anywhere.

Happy New Year and enjoy your Blackeyes, I got fresh ones !!!!

[Democrat 4 Ever]

54. Hardin County is the county seat for Elizabethtown

I am a graduate of the University of Louisville but I bleed blue through and through. (I just received my degree in 03 and attended U of L because the campus is closer to my home - Lexington would have been just too long of a commute. Love those Wildcats. I really like all Kentucky teams (well, if they are not playing U K) except Louisville. I'll yell for Western, Eastern, Kentucky State, Kentucky Wesleyan, heck, I'll cheer on Black Gnat Academy if they floor a basketball team. But never, ever, for any reason do I pull for U of L. Can't help it, have a long history of not pulling for that team - just don't like them cardinals - especially since Patino hit the campus. To me he is the Zell Miller of the basketball set. All mouth and constantly shooting himself in the foot. Yuck.

Hardinsburg is about 40 miles west of E'town right on the Ohio River. Lovely, sleepy little river town.

What part of Texas do you hail from and how on earth to you stand even being in the same state that BushyBot calls home? I've never been to Texas but its on my to do list of things to accomplish.

I'm in the middle of remodeling, painting and stuff - hauling out, paring down, cleaning out - have too much "stuff" and "things" that are cluttering my life - when I get an extra minute I'll look for the photos.

[Bullwinkle925]

27. I wish my Mother was still alive - I'd love for her to show up!!

[Quakerfriend]

30. Ahhhh, yes

I try to remind myself to love them every day, because they won't be here forever.....No matter how much they drive me crazy sometimes!

[Red State Rebel]

41. I know what you mean, Mom was gone before she had any GK.

She died at 46 and her first grandchild wasn't born until over a year later. My sisters and I all hate that our children missed out on knowing her.

[kitchen girl]

28. I would fall dead in a faint for two reasons.

1. My parents are dead.
2. I don't have kids.

:evilgrin:

[HEAVYHEART]

29. You're lucky

My parents are far away. I wish they could be closer so that my kids could have their grandparents drop in whenever. Seriously, I envy you..

[Pithlet]

32. I would let them!

Lucky you :)

[Left Is Write]

33. Considering they are at a motel in New Brunsfels, TX, it's unlikely

they would - but if they really wanted to spend some time with the kids, of course I would let them.

Your husband has a point about perhaps making plans, but if he wants to go out, you still can.

[yellowdogintexas]

35. My grandfather did it all the time, especially in the summer.

Late in the afternoon, he would pull up in his old WWII armysurplus jeep, grab me and my sister and take us out to "count the cows" for an hour or so. Gave my mom an hour of peace and quiet and gave him fun time with us. When we were older we would just go across the road to see our grandmother and hang out in her kitchen, always a good smelling place.

He was prone to drop over just any old time and whisk us off to somewhere or another, and we thought anything was an adventure with him.

Later, he sold his farm and moved to town and then we did not see him everyday but we saw him whenever we had a chance.

My other grandmother had an open door policy, and we walked right in it unannounced. So did my aunts and great grandmother. Small town life does have its charms.

[DaveinMD]

36. they should always call first

I don't like unannounced guests of any kind.

[Darth_Kitten]

38. Let them know that they are free to take the kids at anytime.........

but just politely remind them to please call first, you may have other plans.

A win-win situation for all. :) Cheers!

[bettyellen]

40. yeah, let them go! take a break already...

and have a little informal list ready of suggestions of things you might do! how much planning do you really need to do most thing? not much, if you ain't bringing the kids.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

42. Your husband makes a good point...

It was nice of them to give you a break; but you could have made plans to do something.

I'd suggest that you thank your parents profusely, and let them know that you'd like some notice in the future. After all, what if you'd planned something special with your kids?

[aQuArius]

43. thank god for your parents....

What's the big fuss over a phone call when they WANT to keep them overnight. Enjoy the alone time, your parents will spoil the kids and everyone's happy. Tell hubby not to sweat the small stuff. :hi:

[Midlodemocrat]

45. By the time I had children

...my dad was disabled, so they were not able to take the kids. When we visited, my mom would always keep them so we could go out to a nice restaurant. My in laws were never interested in keeping them. Once, when they visited, I had an appointment because my doctor suspected breast cancer, and they wouldn't keep my kids for two hours. Isn't that amazing?

Now, both my folks are gone, and I know they would have loved to have had the kids and I would have loved for them to do so. My in laws, still not interested...

I guess it could be worse, right?

[Danmel]

46. Gotta agree with some of the posters here

My mom died 5 years ago- my daughter was just 8 and my son was 4. I'd have loved for her to have been able to do things with them- she was sick pretty much their entire lives and they never really knew her -not the way she was when she was well.

My in laws have no interest in my kids at all- their daughter has three kids and they take them to Disney world, knit for them, have them overnight- my kids- nothing.

Appreciate that they are well and that they want to spend time with your kids.

[msgadget]

47. It's not like 'company' showed up,

they're your parents! And, they're giving you two a surprise break. Maybe the stress of the holiday season made your husband temporarily ungrateful. I'm sure he doesn't normally react so hostilely to a generous gesture.

[BetterThanJake]

49. Yeah i think i would let them but only for a night

cause then i could go out

[CO Liberal]

51. I'd Be Shocked for Two Reasons

1 - My kids are 29 and 28, and live in New Jersey.

2 - My parents are both dead.

[barb162]

52. Hon, you did the right thing, okay? Tell your husband to GROW UP