British Study Finds 'Brainy' Women Have 'Marriage Handicapp'

[matcom]

Note: I am just the reporter here - DON'T shoot the messenger

<snip>

A HIGH IQ is a hindrance for women wanting to get married, while it is an asset for men, according to a study by four British universities.

The study found the likelihood of marriage increased by 35 per cent for males for each 16-point increase in IQ.

But for females, there was a 40 per cent drop for each 16-point rise.

The findings, by the universities of Aberdeen, Bristol, Edinburgh and Glasgow, were published in Britain's Sunday Times newspaper.

The study was based on the IQs of 900 males and females between their 10th and 40th birthdays.

http://www.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,11839665%255E13762,00.html

[Crankie Avalon]

1. I would guess that's the case here in the states, as well...

...a lot of men don't like a woman who's smarter than they are. They want to be in charge and a woman who is more competent than they are undermines their red state values, I guess.

[supernova]

2. Sadly confirms what I've thought for a long time

men don't want a smart woman. You can have a great figure, a pretty face, but hooo-boy if you open that mouth and show you have legitimate thought processes, it's all downhill from there.

I was raised to use my mind and get the most out of it. That was a family value for us. Imagine my disappointment when I grew up and found out that wasn't true elsewhere.

I wish I could find someone to prove me wrong.

[sam sarrha]

5. you are confusing a Bad Attitude with intelligence, my wife and i have

married for 32 years and have never had an argurment or ill feelings.. but we are Buddhists, that is a big variable.

[supernova]

6. Whose Bad Attitude?

:shrug: mine or the people I come across?

[ecstatic]

12. the key is to find someone of equal or greater intelligence

Of course, that person has to be laid back otherwise there'd be a lot of silly arguments (i.e., knowledge related arguments).

[Spinzonner]

15. Not to contradict anyone's personal experience

but perhaps you're looking in the wrong places.

Plenty of men like intelligent, stimulating women.

Most men don't like pushy or dominating or nagging women. (Masochists excepted)

Maybe out of a certain amount of necessity to get noticed in male dominated arenas, some women with the former qualities find it necessity to adopt some of the latter tactics. Such assertiveness may be necessary in the workplace but may be off-putting in other environments.

Your situation may differ ...

[trotsky]

20. Unfortunately, it seems that way for a whole lot of men.

For me, it was the opposite. If a date of mine opened her mouth on that first date and it was obvious the intelligence was NOT there, well, that was the end of that.

Super glad I married me a smart woman. :loveya:

[tigereye]

30. my husband seemed to like me because of my intelligence

well, maybe other attributes as well. :) Of course, he is pretty smart too.

[warrens]

39. Smart men want smart women

But guys cannot abide a woman smarter than they are.

[Lorien]

41. I'm with you on this one, Supernova

I attended very liberal schools for the gifted growing up, but my "packaging" is bloody confusing for most men (there's a recent pic of me in the second picture thread in this forum). I'm tall, blonde, blue eyed,with an hourglass figure and obvious cleavage, I'm also slightly speech impaired (had some surgery to correct it years ago, but I still trip over and slur some words). I've tried dyeing my hair red and wearing glasses, and that helps (but then my hair starts to fall out). The type of men I attract are the polar opposite of the type of men that I'm interested in. In a way I don't blame them; what they see, and to some degree hear, fits the blonde bimbo stereotype. But once there's a continued conversation most head for the hills; and the bright ones want nothing to do with me because they can't get past exterior packaging long enough to give me a chance. It's been a recipe for failure my entire adult life.

[Skittles]

51. I'm intelliegent and I've never had a problem finding men who liked me

maybe it's not the intelligence factor

[HEyHEY]

55. why is it automatically a man's fault?

[sam sarrha]

3. maybe because they are able to come up with more reasons not to have sex

..:cry:

[supernova]

4. ?!?!

:wtf:

[Lorien]

40. I'll second that

:wtf: :wtf:

[JVS]

38. LOL

[no_hypocrisy]

7. College: marriage repellant?

Paul Brown, a psychologist and professor at Nottingham University, told the Sunday Times: "Women in their late 30s who have gone for careers after the first flush of university and who are among the brightest of their generation are finding that men are just not interesting enough."

After college, I went on to attaining five more years of graduate work with two degrees. And yes, like Eliza Doolittle, one cannot return from whence one has originated. Being a cookie-cutter Suzey Homemaker is an option, but not the only one.

And yes, marriage seemed too restrictive after four years (initially) of having my wits challenged on a daily basis and conversations outside the iveyed walls seemed insipid by comparison, thus making marriage on the bottom of things to do.

Although my father thought when he chose for me a private, all-women's college, that I would meet better choices of marriage, he did not realize that he was liberating me from a restriction of choices, marriage primarily amongst them. Je ne regrette riens.

[Crankie Avalon]

10. There might be something to this...

...I've read that here in America, female college students outnumber males about 2 to 1. It's common for well-educated people to want to stick with other well-educated people as partners rather than non-educated folk.

So, educated women end up outnumbering educated men by a substantial margin. This means the few educated men become prizes (with increased chances to marry, as the survey in the OP suggests) while the many educated women have a smaller pool of "equals" to choose from and might even not want to choose at all (again consistent with the OP survey result).

Just speculation, though. It could be flat-out wrong, and I'm sure people have anecdotes of their own that contradict this premise.

[izzie]

8. Well I was always told marry some one that is smarted

then be sure to get an education as so many women must bring up their children by them self. And be sure to keep some money in your own name. Had a very odd father I guess.

[supernova]

9. I was taught much the same thing

I guess my dad was odd too. :shrug:

[ecstatic]

11. Too smart to accept BS?

I look around at what some of my friends believe and put up with and I nod my head. However, I do want the "American Dream" of two kids, a husband, etc. so at some point I'm going to have to settle.

[blondeatlast]

21. I didn't marry until I was 36, and I had thought I'd live a happily single

life.

Smart women like us find love when we stop looking, IMHO.

That's how it happened for me.

And I didn't settle, either--my guy's a major league good one.

[Left Is Write]

27. It went similarly for me.

I married at 31. I met my husband when I stopped looking and decided to be okay with being single, and there was no "settling" for me. I found a real keeper.

[Lorien]

42. I've tried that for the past five years

now I'm nearly 40 and still single. Crap.

[Hans Delbrook]

53. They kept telling me the same thing

"You know when you'll find someone? When you stop looking!" I thought - well, then I'll NEVER find someone since I'm always looking.

And then I found my gem when I was looking and looking hard. We were both 32 at the time; he actually said to me while we were dating, "Where have you been all my life?" And I said, "LOOKING FOR YOU!"

Keep looking and don't settle. I kissed a lot of frogs to find my prince.

[Mend]

13. They're assuming smart women want to get married...

maybe, maybe not. A lot of men have figured out the double-income advantage, which is especially nice with a highly educated woman with a good job. A lot of smart woman have figured out they need men like fish need bicycles.

[WMliberal]

48. That's what I was thinking, why is no marriage seen as a bad thing?

Are they also not being pursued for long-term, meaningful relationships? Doubt it.

[ET Awful]

14. Nah, the real reason is that the smart women are too smart to

marry the dumb schmucks :)

The neanderthals they polled tried to get smart women, it's just that the smart women couldn't tolerate the mouth-breathing, dinner plate-licking ways :)

[blondeatlast]

22. I think you are on to something! nt

[ET Awful]

24. And I'm a guy, just a very perceptive one :)

:evilgrin:

[Z_I_Peevey]

16. No, stupid men have marriage handicap.

The smart women won't have them.

[NashVegas]

17. I'll Go Along With That

I'm not brilliant, mind you, just a bright-normal. By the time I was 11, I'd realized guys were for A) Sex, B) Fixing things I can't and C) Telling me what to do. I later determined a) there were alternate means for getting off, b) with the proper income, I could pay others to fix what I can't, therefor: c) why the hell should I let anyone tell me what to do?

People with higher IQs can also tend to be too smart for their own good :(

[Allenberg]

18. Intelligence is what led me to my wife

she's a college graduate, and has her own career. One of the things that attracted me to her was the intelligent conversation. Smart + Sexy = win.

[bleedingheart]

19. I can see the sexism here that affects intelligent women

.."bad attitude"...I guess that is code for "women who have an opinion that is the opposite of the man they are conversing with"

"coming up with reasons not to have sex"... oh...that's disturbing...so if a woman doesn't want to have sex each and every time her mate requests it.....well that just makes her unmarriagable...

In my opinion intelligent mature men enjoy the company of intelligent mature women.

[Mad_Dem_X]

26. I could not agree more

"intelligent mature men enjoy the company of intelligent mature women."

Mature men are not threatened by intellect in a woman. Thank goodness not all men want to be married to bimbos. :hi:

[blondeatlast]

23. Love/marriage/happiness can't be quantified.

If it were up to me, no one would receive funding for such brainless wastes of scientific intellect.

The time could have been better spent on why people beat their spouses or kids, why weddings are so idealized that the result, marriage, becomes a major letdown, etc.

This is just BS, IMHO.

[tanyev]

25. Smart women are not going to

put up with a man they can't respect as a marriage partner. They are happy enough and secure enough to live life on their own. And if they finally do find a really great guy, so much the better.

[NewJeffCT]

29. well said

I don't think my wife would have settled for somebody that wasn't educated & intelligent... however, I could see how she could intimidate some guys with her having 2 master's degrees and speaking 3 languages.

[Samurai_Writer]

28. I know this for a fact...

Been married twice. Consider myself quite intelligent, well-educated, etc. The first marriage right after high school lasted 3 years. One of the main factors in our breakup was his insecurity over my being smarter than him. The second one was intimidated by my intelligence too, and went out and had affairs with the prettiest, dumbest women he could find.

I THOUGHT I had found someone I could connect with on all levels, including intellectually, recently. Seems that he 'liked intelligent women' only if I kept my mouth shut when my opinions differed from his.

I've pretty much determined I'm going to remain single and alone.

Peace,
Bella

[Beer Snob-50]

31. i don't care if she got herself a rash

all i want is her pretty green cash
i want me a boat
i want me a car
i want me to look like a hollywood star!

[CrownPrinceBandar]

32. That's funny (not ha-ha, strange)....................

I have the hardest time finding single smart women where I'm at. It seems that most of the single women I meet are not at all interested about discussing anything other than the most superficial crap under the sun, and look askance at anyone who brings up anything other than what bar they went to this weekend or who made it all the way through "Survivor". Around here, smart folks get snapped up quick.

This study was done in Britain? Looks like its emigration time. Hang on ladies!:P :loveya:

[jpgray]

33. This could have to do with BOTH sides of our social conventions

Men are conditioned in this society to find women who they feel superior to, while the opposite is encouraged in women. So when the women are educated on an equal level to the men and possess equivalent intelligence, the men get intimidated and the women lack respect for the men?

Can I make an interpretation that doesn't belittle or blame one gender over the other for this study? :)

[bloodyjack]

34. This thread makes me uneasy

and yet I must read it

[Hillaryin08]

35. I love the idea of a companion whose witty and self reliant

I miss waking up next to a warm body. But my last husband convinced me that marriage is useless in my life. Not that I am some brainiac but I do like to have intelligent conversation with someone I take my vacations with. And my experience has been that men do not want a woman with her own power. A low intelligence in a man requires him to feel the need to provide or protect in order to feel useful. I don't want a caretaker I want a friend.

Sorry for the rant. I realize men are just as lost as women are nowadays when finding their positions or roles with each other.

[atommom]

36. Happens all the time. I always enjoyed verbally sparring

(not in a mean way) with smart men. I had many close male friends in my 20s, but not too many romances. I was told that I was "intimidating" because I was too quick-witted. :shrug: Lacking the patience to "settle," I just didn't set my sights on marriage. And eventually, I did run into a cute, intelligent male smartass that I could live with. :D

[verdalaven]

37. The Kama Sutra set the standard for

choosing a mate. :) While it made for fun reading, I still found it silly.

I agree with the poster that called this study nonsense, because intelligence isn't just about I.Q. (a questionable standard to measure true intelligence, if you ask me)or how long one spent in college. The key, I think, to finding lasting happiness with a mate is to respect all their assets rather than think more or less of them for what they don't have, i.e. a seemingly high I.Q.

I don't know about you, but I have known highly intelligent people who were real ditzes and completely socially inept. Maybe they are confusing I.Q. intelligence with social intelligence, the latter which probably has more to do with how successful a person is in finding a mate.

[kick-ass-bob]

43. what they don't say is that the higher IQ

then drops to the lower...

[flvegan]

44. So THAT explains Britney Spears multiple marriages this past year!

Thanks for clearing that up.

[SmokingJacket]

45. Obviously, traditional marriage must benefit men.

The smart ones get into one early. Now they can find someone to cook their breakfast and bear their children while they are free to pursue their degree or their promotion.

Smart women know that marriage is a hindrance to their careers. Kids will slow it down.

What's surprising about this? Everyone's assuming women sit around waiting to "get picked."

As if.

[Beware the Beast Man]

46. Gee, what a timely study.

:eyes: In this day and age of the anti-inellectual, "Traditional values" era.

[WMliberal]

47. i don't know about marriage, but smarter, better educated women

have a much higher chance of being pursued for a relationship or just getting laid by smarter, better educated men (BRING 'EM ON!!!!!!!!!!!). :silly:

[TaleWgnDg]

49. Hhmm . . . why would any man want to marry a "dumb broad?"

Hhhhmmmmmm . . . why would any man want to marry a "dumb broad?" (excuse the language, please) . . . And I am serious here.

I didn't marry somebody who was dumb. If I had, what the hell future would it reap? No thanks.

My wife is intelligent. A professional. And a great wife and mother to my kids. Our kids are bright too. Never could have happened with a "low-watt" wife. No way.

Hats off to America's bright women.

.

[NurseLefty]

50. Anecdotal, but nevertheless, I see evidence...

I am the first woman in my family who has gone to college. My family is British but some live here in the US. All the women in my family have been docile, supportive spouses and their lives seem happy enough.
I on the other hand have followed the beat of a different drum. I've always questioned the status quo, and resisted fitting the mold.
I've been in 3 long-term relationships in my adult life - 3 years, 5 years, and 8 years in duration. The first ended amid my attempt to go to college. The woman who "succeeded" me was not the sharpest knife in the drawer, so-to-speak. Nor was the woman who "succeeded" me in the second relationship.
The third relationship ended last April but began to decline when I returned to college again in 2000. He expressed that I was no longer around since I became a student, and the I'd "let myself (looks) go." Essentially, I had gone from a 9-5 job where I wore business attire, had my hair done, then I'd spend the rest of my time being a domestic goddess. Yes, that ended when I became a student again, but he could not see the long term benefit for US, that I would have a better income for us and I'd be happier with myself.
If I'd been more like the women in my family I would have put my relationship before my education. But, I would have been stifled.
If my last ex ends up with a sweet, docile, but not so bright girlfriend, I will not be surprised.

[Xipe Totec]

52. I think there's an unstated assumption here that is FALSE!

The unstated assumption is that MEN choose WOMEN.

I don't think so!

Women choose from among willing available males.

Smart women are just choosier.

To me, there's nothing sexier than brainy women. I have a lot of female friends who are smarter that me. They've just never showed a romantic interest.

That's OK by me because just being their friend is a privilege and a compliment.

[porkrind]

54. I think high IQ is one of the most attractive qualities

in a woman, that and a great sense of humor. I'm a pushover for a whipsmart woman with a properly jaded sense of humor. :) I think each individual in a couple need to be of similar intelligence to be happy. Same goes for friends.

The IQ distribution, being a scrunched bell-curve with a standard deviation of ~16 and a mean of 100, means that the higher your IQ, the more difficult it will be to find someone of equal IQ. Add on additional downselection factors of age, interest, physical attraction, etc., and it can be quite difficult.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

56. When I was in high school, I was in

a dumb-and-proud-of-it outer suburb. The parents used to complain if teachers assigned intellectually challenging readings. I had one guy friend, who was smart, but kind of a potential fascist.

As a result, I was terribly socially awkward in college, and it didn't help that I ended up with a stalker during my senior year. That made me afraid even to be friendly to anyone.

In graduate school, I found that the majority of men were as socially awkward--more so--than I had been as an undergraduate. All in all, the women were savvy about relationships and interested in getting together with the men, but the men seemed unable to take hints. In that haven of intelligent men, we complained about how many times we had almost been approached by a guy who chickened out at the last minute, even though we had been as encouraging as we could be without stripping naked. Taking the initiative didn't work, either, even when the men seemed interested. It evidently offended their sense of social norms to be pursued.

My late twenties and early thirties were a sort of golden age for my social life, beginning late in graduate school, but nothing turned into a long-term commitment.

Since then, it's been hit and miss. In my experience, it's been entirely true that when I find a man with whom I click on an intellectual and emotional level, he's invariably married (and committed to staying that way, even if the Mrs. is visibly stupid and/or the Psycho Shrew from Hell), gay, or too young.

Too many men my age are, well, not necessarily stupid, but self-limited, having totally bought into the media stereotype of the Ideal American Male, which includes confining one's interests to work and sports.

I think that the best men marry relatively young and stay that way, fidelity and commitment being one of their excellent qualities. When I meet divorced men in my age group, it often doesn't take me long to figure out why they're divorced. They're BAW-ring, and I don't mean that I like "bad boys." The other bad qualities I find are crankiness and a domineering manner. If they can't suppress those qualities in public, I wonder what they'll be like in private.

There are plenty of men more intelligent than I am, with good, solid qualities, but someone else got them first. :-(