Would you consider getting back with your EX?

[Murphys_Unlawful]

Why or Why not?

[hang a left]

1. Which one?

[Murphys_Unlawful]

4. Your latest one.

[hang a left]

12. Actually.....

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[warrens]

2. Fuck no

Shudder

[Murphys_Unlawful]

6. And why is that?

[warrens]

It took me three years in court to get out

The idea of going back is...well, I would rather donate all my veins to science and let them harvest them without anaesthetic.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

29. WOW!

[Murphys_Unlawful]

3. No takers?

Was it that bad?

[StopTheMorans]

5. define "getting back with," and I'll give you an answer

:evilgrin:

[Murphys_Unlawful]

8. Rekindling old flames?

[StopTheMorans]

11. could you be a little more specific?

[Murphys_Unlawful]

14. Starting from the beginning...

trying to make it work.

[StopTheMorans]

22. then nope, don't do it

[Murphys_Unlawful]

31. And why do you say that?

[StopTheMorans]

35. you most likely broke up for a reason. unless whatever that reason

was is no longer a factor for both of you, then you're wasting your time and someone is going to get hurt. unless you're just in it for the sex, i'd say avoid it at all costs...

[Murphys_Unlawful]

37. Good point...

But everyone has a different story.

[HEAVYHEART]

7. Never

Never ever never in a million years! Why, because we are not compatible. Simple as that. We're friends though. Nothing more..
:-)

[Murphys_Unlawful]

10. Talk to that person often?

[HEAVYHEART]

20. Often

We share custody of our 2 kids. I pick up the kids from school everyday. He comes over to pick them up when they're with him for that night, week, etc.. Like I said, we're friends, no animosity at all. But trust me, it wasn't always like that! lol :)

Edit: I can't spell today! urggghh

[Murphys_Unlawful]

34. It's tough when kids are involved.

[Debbi801]

9. No way, not even if he was the last man on earth and I was being paid....

He was not a nice person--physically and verbally abusive, had/has an addiction problem, is a biggot, and a Repug.

:puke:

Debbi

[Murphys_Unlawful]

13. Abuse is never right!

Good for you!

[achtung_circus]

15. Not a chance.

After 20 years together, 17 of them married I called it quits. Her attitude changed dramatically when she graduated from vet school and it was a more or less steady decline from there. The last 3 years were hell.

Counseling wasn't taken seriously by her, the counselor told her that if she wasn't going to participate she (our counselor) no longer saw any point.

I left last September. As I left I said that we could work on things but there would need to be a commitment on her part to change her behaviour, I was willing to work on my part if she'd work on hers.

The phone calls between us over the next couple of months rapidly degenerated into her calling me a stupid fucking asshole. When I began running out of money I found a job, found a new life. I found a new woman, with whom I moved in over Christmas.

Life is better than it has been in years. My girlfriend asks whether I would consider moving back to BC, my consistent answer is of course not. I have a new life and it's progressing very nicely, thank you.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

21. That's tough... sorry.

[achtung_circus]

32. Not any more it isn't.

It (leaving) was one of the best things I could have done. Regarding my new love, we've known each other since we were born. The timing was right for both of us. Any earlier and it wouldn't have happened.

That 20 years made me who I am today. I can't discount that big a chunk of my life. And it wasn't all bad, just the last part (maybe 3-4 years).

[Murphys_Unlawful]

36. Well, I'm glad you are getting on with your life.

[redqueen]

16. If I weren't attached

yes.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

23. So you are not so attached, huh?

[redqueen]

26. Yes, I am.

But ... some things I'll always have a weakness for.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

33. And those weaknesses are?

[redqueen]

39. Numerous.

:)

[Murphys_Unlawful]

40. Come on...

Please share.

[redqueen]

42. Okay, well one weakness is...

my ex. :evilgrin:

[Murphys_Unlawful]

43. A sexy one, huh?

[redqueen]

44. Oh yeah.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

46. Do I have a chance?

Just kidding... So what are some of these other weaknesses?

[Murphys_Unlawful]

52. I guess that was a no. Shucks.

[gollygee]

17. No

At the time breaking up felt awful, but now I think about how great my life is with my husband, and how much worse my life would be if I'd ended up with him.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

24. Good for you!

[candy]

18. Never!!! I like being my own boss and being in charge of my own

life. He is a controlling bastard!!!

[Murphys_Unlawful]

25. Those kind are no good!

Too bad for him.

[Beaverhausen]

19. I am back with my ex

Because he dumped me before we worked on fixing the relationship. And I wasn't about to let what I think is a good relationship go without a fight.

I went thru a lot of learning and growing and now I'm happy to say we get along better than ever. What will happen in the long run I'm not sure. But for now it's good.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

28. A good story, glad to hear.

[Liberal Veteran]

27. Not no. Not hell no. But fuck no.

My first ex is dead and cheated on me (and in the process managed to bring HIV into our relationship).

My second ex and I were good friends, but had a poisonous relationship.

My current boyfriend and I have been together for 15 years and it's been a blast.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

30. Happy to hear that!

[flvegan]

38. Absolutely. Then, I could

play the "turnabout is fair play" and ignore then dump her as she did me. Yeah, how did THAT feel!? Huh? Awwww, crying. Crying's good for the tear ducts, I hear. Yes, get it all out. I know it hurts. You'll grow and be a better fucking person for it, eh? Remember not to be bitter. It's so easy to find another partner, you'll have no trouble, especially with the damage I just did to you. Think of me often.

Nah, just kidding. Hell no, I wouldn't.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

41. Not all relationships...

are meant to be. But some can work.

[Dzimbowicz]

45. Absolutely not !

[Murphys_Unlawful]

47. And why?

[Dzimbowicz]

62. She was,

overly possessive, controlling and downright mean! As soon as I said "I do" she did a Jeckle and Hyde on me; no longer was she the warm, kind, loving, responsible person I knew before. P-S-Y-C-H-O !

I have been divorced since 1989 and plan on staying that way.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

71. Mine went when she started to get high all of the time.

You never want to get married again?

[Dzimbowicz]

75. It depends...

I met someone about ten years ago who really caused me to fall head over heels.... But, that's a long, long story.

I am seeing someone now, but it's only been a couple of months so far, so no telling where that will go.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

76. I met someone too...

but I have not let go of my ex. It makes me sad.

[Dzimbowicz]

80. The person I met is recently separated

and I have to wait for an indeterminate amount of time.

:argh:

[Murphys_Unlawful]

82. That's tough...

Will it be worth the wait though? And are you afraid of being just a rebound maybe?

[Dzimbowicz]

99. Yes, tough indeed

I think the wait will be worth it in the long run. We have so much in common. I know that sounds like a cliche, but... The best part is that we actually enjoy just being together; that to me is the key.

I've given some thought to the rebound thing, but I do not think that is what is happening. I've never been involved in a rebound, one direction or another, so I could just be naive about it all. :shrug:

[Murphys_Unlawful]

101. I hope things go great for you two...

I do!

[Dzimbowicz]

106. Thanks

and same to you.

:toast:

[Murphys_Unlawful]

107. Thanks...

Good talking to you!

[Left Is Write]

48. You mean the guy who walked all over me? Hell, no.

Besides, it's been eight years, and I've been married to someone else for seven.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

50. How did he walk all over you?

[Butterflies]

49. No way. He made me miserable.

He was sneaky, disrespectful, and self-centered. After the split he became a stalker and I had to leave the state to get rid of him for good. No thanks.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

51. Are you involved now?

[Butterflies]

55. No. Time heals, so I'm waiting

and healing.

Being single isn't so bad though - there's a lot of freedom in getting to do your own thing. :-)

[Murphys_Unlawful]

58. Like? And do you miss...

anything about the relationship?

[WMliberal]

53. not the latest one, but the one in Scotland yes,

if she ever got a libido.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

57. Wowzer... explain please.

[WMliberal]

61. Very simple. She was as close to perfect a girl could be to me.

Except she had NO libido. However, the lack of makes for a great friend now.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

68. A good friend though?

Or just run of the mill type?

[WMliberal]

74. very good friend.

Although I'm really missing her, she's not coming back from Scotland until September. Thank goodness for AIM.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

77. Maybe then she will find what was missing.

[Bok_Tukalo]

54. Only in my weaker moments

Why? The sex was great and she is one of the most attractive women I have ever known in my life.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

59. Then why not?????

[Bok_Tukalo]

60. We have two different ideas what it means to be a couple

I think it means we are partners, mutually tied that the other can always rely on and turn to; she thinks it means I should compete with every other man for her every day.

Fun, enticing, and challenging at first but after 7 years, a physical and emotional drain.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

64. That stinks...

Sounds like she was very self-involved. I had one like that too. Everything was about her.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

56. We have to have more stories out there... anyone?

[VelmaD]

63. Not most of them...

and certainly not the most recent one. He was THE most boring man on earth. And he lied to me a lot. *sigh* I wouldn't let my cat piss on him if he was on fire. :evilgrin:

[Murphys_Unlawful]

66. What about the ones you would consider...

what kind were they?

[tsakshaug]

65. No

After supporting her through her MS and PhD, she decided she wanted out. I didn't realize how controlling she was, and how verbal and physical abuse were not normal. She refused to go to counseling, because she knew more about everything than anyone else could possibly know.
We have two kids, which makes it difficult.
I have in the divorce agreement that all communication will be through e-mail, that way I have a record of what is said. She mis-represents what ever is said and then blames the other person. Now I can piss her off when I copy her email back to her to show what she said about something.
I have been very happily married now for 4 years.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

67. Good for you...

We should warn everyone by tattooing her forehead.

[tsakshaug]

69. it would be difficult

we would have to hold her down, and she now outweighs me
(btw I am 220 lbs)

[Murphys_Unlawful]

72. Well...

that should be a warning right there then. But we can always come up behind here and bop her on the head.

[Amaya]

70. I have

then we broke it off. Then we got back together, then broke it off. It was bad. Now we're just awesome friends. I'll always love him, but we don't do marriage well.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

73. What was the problem????

[SarahB]

120. I can understand that.

Completely.

You know that. He's still my best friend on some level, but he doesn't want an equal, he wants to "take care of me" keeping me at this place of not being a fully independent person. My true nature always was an independent person and this killed me inside making me feel weaker and weaker year after year. In some ways I could conceive of being with him someday (and this is from the eve practically of a divorce filing), but not now. Being with him since I was 18 and just barely out of the nest, I've never felt like a woman. I spent the last 7 (out of 14) years being with him because I felt I HAD to be, not because I wanted to be. He tells me all the time he still loves and would dump any other woman in a heartbeat for me in the future. It's a lot to lay on a person, but I still know what I have to do and I know I don't feel the same as he does. I know I need some growth on my own and explore things I was never able to. If we are meant to be, we will be. It's just not now. Maybe not ever. Maybe I am selfish as a backlash for repressing so much of myself for so many years. Maybe it's just all been this big, unhealthy thing I need to be free from. It's been a long limbo over the last year. I'm glad it'll be ending soon. :)

[catmandu57]

78. I had the chance

I ran into her totally unexpected one day, and she let it be known that she wanted me, but, the only thing we ever had going was sex, and it was awsome wicked good sex, and I'd learned a few new tricks since her.
I was however, in a committed relationship at the time, so committed that we're married now, so I turned down the chance.
The first one now, that's a different story, for years I would have crawled on broken glass in cutoffs to get back with her. Time, though, time let me see that she really wasn't all that great, actually she sucked, but, her being the first colored all my thinking for years.
I probablly would go the other way if I saw her today, and hope she didn't see me first.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

79. How long have you been married?

[catmandu57]

83. three years 14 February

but in total 20 years.

edit: in in in not it it it

[Murphys_Unlawful]

87. Good for you...

I'm glad you're happy.

[greyfox]

81. Not no.....

but Hellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll no... never... why? Because I left her...wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too jealous a broad and made life miserable for at least 18 1/2 of 21 years!

[Murphys_Unlawful]

86. Wow..

You healed yet?

[greyfox]

124. Been 21 years....

so yeah, and my new wife is the reason.. she is an angel.

[Joe Power]

84. No

Because I hate to puke.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

88. Why was it so bad?

[Joe Power]

90. She was a cheating crackhead

Or a crackhead cheater...I can't remember which.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

92. Ooh, sorry to hear...

Glad you are out then.

[Joe Power]

117. Not as glad as I am

;)

[MissMillie]

85. NO WAY!

He had plenty of opportunities to treat me well and show me that he wanted me. He blew them all.

No point in giving him another chance. I've expended all the energy on him that I'm ever going to.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

89. What if he begged?

[MissMillie]

118. Not if he were the last breathing man on earth.

[Samurai_Writer]

91. Lord Almighty! Not in a zillion years!

Not only no, but FUCK no!

Why?

He:
cheated w/at least 5 women in our 2 1/2 years of marriage
was a pathological liar
brought home a minor (and treatable, thankfully) STD
worked less than half the time we were married
fathered a child with a 17 year old girl while we were married
was 'engaged' to said girl and to another woman -- while we were married

Should I go on???

Happily single and planning on staying that way!

[Murphys_Unlawful]

94. I hope you...

find someone that will neverr ever do that to you again. Sorry:(

[Samurai_Writer]

96. i'm perfectly happy alone...

with my dog and two cats. Nice, quiet, no drama, and lots of furry cuddling.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

102. I'm sure...

you will find love again!

[Samurai_Writer]

109. Why are you so insistent....

that everyone has to be with someone and 'find love'??? Can't you realize that some of us don't need to be in a relationship to be perfectly happy with our lives?

[Murphys_Unlawful]

111. Sorry...

I just figured when you've been crapped on, good things will happen for you. I guess I'm being optimistic. Sorry.

[Samurai_Writer]

112. Good things have happened to me...

Just doesn't involve being in a relationship. Thanks for the good thoughts anyway. :c)

[Murphys_Unlawful]

113. I meant good... really!

:)

[Mr. McD]

93. Not just no, but HELL NO.

She is a right wing fundy bitch.:puke:

[Murphys_Unlawful]

95. Was she violent too?

[Mr. McD]

98. Not then

We were apolitical when we met. Less so when we divorced 29 years ago.
She is totally off the deep end now. I haven't seen her in years but the stories our kids tell.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

103. Another story,

that involves children. That's too bad.

[Tafiti]

97. Yes, possibly.

Not right now, but perhaps in a couple years. I think we've both grown up and changed a lot (at least on my end) to where the relationship COULD be much better and work out pretty well actually.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

104. I'm in the same boat...

I would really like to. But things would have to be right.

[NewJeffCT]

100. If I was single, I would...

If I was single, I'd get back with my ex just for the sex... nothing serious.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

105. That's always fun!!!!

[NewJeffCT]

108. Well, that was the best part of our relationship

Unfortunately, due to some bad luck right after we got married, it all soured quickly.

But, that pre-marital sex was great. It probably blinded me to some of her faults, or else her oversized chest blinded me. or both.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

110. I'm sure the chest helped...

Does it to me everytime! :)

[NewJeffCT]

114. well

She did work briefly at Hooters prior to us getting married so she could get some extra cash. And, it wasn't a question of if she was qualified - it was if she wanted to work there.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

115. Just a funny...

We should spell boobs as bOObs. That's so much better!

[Murphys_Unlawful]

116. Better question, Do you think they want to get back with you?

[billfromwny]

119. You have to be kidding

if your are talking about my ex-wife, even though we now get along, sometimes I think aliens possessed her, then I was with someone who was a total control freak to the point where she was trying to alienate me from my friends and even my own son.

On the up side, I recently met someone, who is highly educated, successful, has a certain wow factor, even though things are still early in the relationship, so wish me luck. :)

[kodi]

121. Let me check the Weather Channel and get back to you

Nope. Hell has not frozen over.

She was a bitch lied to me constantly, who booted up heroin, and stole me blind.

I worship the quicksand she walks on.

[Wapsie B]

122. In a heartbeat.

If circumstances would've been just a little different we'd be together today.

[NightTrain]

123. No.

Next question!

[LWolf]

125. Painful question.

I would never, ever have considered getting back with my first ex. Happily, I was able to forgive him for 10 abusive years, when he died another 14 years after we separated. I remember him gently. But I never would have returned to him.

The most recent ex? I hope not. I have grown and moved beyond/away from him; we wouldn't have enough in common to build a life together.

I forgave him for the end of the marriage; he was my best friend. I couldn't not love him if I tried, and I still, 4 years later, miss him and think of him frequently. It's better that we have no contact; going forward is better than going back, and I'm not willing to undo personal growth. But contact without relationship would be painfully difficult.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

126. My wife may be somewhat upset by that.

Not to mention staying near the previous one was like taking a power drill to your eardrums.