Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

[HawkerHurricane]

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side. " That's what "they" call it-the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook -- and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't think I should have to answer that question.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?

[patdem]

1. Gosh the question of the ages has been answered...

or is the question 'what came first the chicken or the egg'? I keep getting those two questions confused??? :shrug:

[Brucey]

2. Fabulous... where did it come from?

LUDWIG WITTGENSTEIN
One can't speak of chickens or roads or even crossing without defining the essential mystery of what each term means empirically or metaphysically.

FRANZ KAFKA
Because he was being watched by a giant cockroach standing by the window. His trial will be Tuesday.

B. F. SKINNER
The contingencies of reinforcement were such that a pellet of food was located on the other side of the road and his behavior was purely operant in its schedule.

MARTHA STEWART
To get into the marinade and then the pan.

GANDHI
I will eat that chicken unless all people will live in peace.

[Padraig18]

3. And...

...

DICK CHENEY

To get to the undisclosed location.

[Loyal]

4. I love the Jerry Falwell one

:P

[Lorien]

5. Lol!

Down here in Florida, that question is answered with "to show the armadillo it CAN be done!"

[JVS]

6. Why did the pervert cross the road?

Highlight text for answer (not for the prudish)

Because his dick was stuck in the chicken.

:-)

[HawkerHurricane]

7. early morning humor kick

nt

[TioDiego]

8. Why did the lady in HR cross the road?

She can't tell you. There are some underlings in HR who still don't know, but that is all right with them, because they know, that if they continue successfully with their careers, that at some point they will be allowed to know why the chicken crossed the road. Remember, Himmler started out as a chicken farmer, and that is why HR workers today, are known as chicken farmers.

[AlienGirl]

9. Riley's answer:

"Because he wanted to see the cow pee!"

Yes, he actually told the chicken joke to me with that punchline. It was funny...

Tucker

[cosmicdot]

10. To join the Republicans.

[jus_the_facts]

11. ROTFLMAO......OHHHHHMMMYYYGAWD....that's hilarious.....

.....can I copy it and make an email? :evilgrin:


.....reminds me of Gary Larson...The Far Side...Chickens In Our Midst....parody of Gorillas In The Mist....and the other one with the chicken that murdered Old McDonald sitting on his bunk in prison tellin' his *story*..."...with a chop chop here and a chop chop there!".....Bwahahahaha...PRICELESS! :D

[HawkerHurricane]

12. Email away

I got it in a email, you can send it out again.

Ever see Gary Larson's 'Boneless Chicken Ranch'?

When I go to SanFransisco in two weeks, I'm hitting the San Fransisco science museum...word is Gary Larson donated all the 'science' Far Side cartoons, and they made a exibit: The Far Side of Science. Must see!

[jus_the_facts]

13. Awww MAN.....that will be coolness indeed....I miss his toons....

....hope you enjoy it...I know I would!! *envy* :P

Yeah I did send this to my email list...too funny!! :D

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

14. To get away from a freeper.

The freeper hadn't had a piece in a while and didn't care how fowl it was.

[Elidor]

15. Hunter Thompson

HUNTER THOMPSON
Chicken? What fucking chicken? Goddamit, man, stay with me here! We haven't got time to worry about any fucking chickens! THEY know we're here! They'll be beating down the door any second! Don't you understand? They'll fry us for sure after everything we've done!

OSCAR ACOSTA
Oh, shit, man, you're right. Fucking CHICKENS, man! The bastards do it every time! AAAGH! *whips out a knife* I HATE FUCKING CHICKENS!!! AAAAAAGH! Feathered fuckers!

[proud patriot]

16. These are great HH

Thanks

[Terwilliger]

17. so they can avoid the draft?

[montana_hazeleyes]

18. Johnny Cochran

If the chick is quick you must aquit!