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I Need Some DU Support...I Am So Sad Tonight

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AutumnMist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 04:05 AM
Original message
I Need Some DU Support...I Am So Sad Tonight
This is the first post that I have made, I hope that it's being made in the right forum/context. I just lost one of the most important and wonderful woman in my life on new years eve. I know many have terrible mother-in-law stories, but I don't have any. Diane was kind, patient and always giving to all that were in her life. I was blessed to be a part of that circle. She called me daily just to see how we were doing, and always told us that she loved us. No matter what. It wasn't forced or fake. She really loved me as a daughter, loved her son and our daughter completely. If you were cold...she would give you the coat off her back, no questions or strings attached. She died after being ill for months....It wasn't completely unexpected in terms of her being very sick. She had come home from the hospital with a clean bill of health (somewhat) and then she was admitted to the hospital (once again) on Christmas eve. Dehydration was the first diagnosis. After many tests and trials the doctors told my husband that she was indeed dying. Internally she just couldn't fight anymore. She died while I was visiting my own family for the holidays in California. I never got to say goodbye. The airlines were absolute hell trying to get home when things took a turn for the worst. I am so sad. The tears and the grief have lasted for days. My husband is really struggling with her loss. I know we have a little girl who needs us however, and our daughter is our number one priority. But our hearts are broken. I just needed some support. If you pray..please send some prayers...If you don't...please send your best thoughts. We are really hurting. Thank you for listening (reading), It just feels good to get it out.
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AutumnMist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 04:08 AM
Response to Original message
1. P.S.
I wanted to clarify, this isn't my first post. It's the first thread that I have started. Sorry about that....my brain is mush right now.
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Be Brave Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 04:09 AM
Response to Original message
2. Sorry. She sounds like a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart.
I am so sorry for your loss and that you were not able to physically say goodbye. I think she understands. The important thing is that she knew you loved her. I will say a prayer for her. It's okay to cry.
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AutumnMist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 04:15 AM
Response to Reply #2
6. Thank You (to all that have posted)
I really mean that. Words cannot express how much it means to me.
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nine23 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 04:11 AM
Response to Original message
3. Peace go with you my friend. My deepest sympathies...
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murielm99 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 04:12 AM
Response to Original message
4. You are so fortunate to have had her.
What a blessing she was in your life.

I am sending hugs, prayers, and good wishes to you and your family.

I will remember your story. When my children marry, I will strive to behave as your mother in law did.
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Lone_Star_Dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 04:12 AM
Response to Original message
5. I'm so sorry for your loss
I'm sending my best wishes for your and your family. Take care of yourself and your daughter and husband. Try and find some comfort in the fact that she's at peace now.

I'm sure she knew how you felt about her even though you were unable to say your final goodbyes.

:hug:
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AutumnMist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 04:22 AM
Response to Reply #5
11. :)
Thank You! I told her I loved her almost every time that we spoke or saw each other. It sounds cliche in some ways...but telling those around you that you love them makes a world of difference when it becomes the last words spoken to each other. Thank you for posting, I just needed to hear it this morning. Have a great day. :)
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Lone_Star_Dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 05:56 AM
Response to Reply #11
17. You're Welcome :)
I agree about telling those you care for that you love them makes a world of difference. It has a positive effect on both parties, you seem to already have a firm understanding of that fact. :)
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nytemare Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 04:16 AM
Response to Original message
7. I am sure she knew you cared
If what you typed here is a reflection of your relationship with her, she knew you loved her. It is so hard to lose someone who is important to us, and who we love. The best support you can give your child is an ear, a hug, and to know you are grieving too. She will need to feel a kindred spirit. Share stories with laughter and tears, and she and you will be able to grieve properly.

My heart goes out to you. :hug:
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ThoughtCriminal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 04:16 AM
Response to Original message
8. I wish I had the magic words
the truth is that the better the person, the harder the loss. The pain you feel is a tribute.
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KT2000 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 04:18 AM
Response to Original message
9. I am so sorry
How lucky you are to have know her - she does sound like a very special person.
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housewolf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 04:19 AM
Response to Original message
10. Oh I am so sorry...
What a sad thing to have happen over the holidays.

I am so sorry that she died and so sorry that you were unable to get back. I am certain, however, from what you said about her that she knew that you loved her with your whole heart and that you would have been there if you could have been.

How blessed you were to have joined such a loving and welcoming family. Your mother-in-laws legacy will be carried on in your daughter. You'll have wonderful stories of her grandmother to give her as she grows up, you can keep her alive in your heart so that she remains alive in your daughter's heart.

Your grief is deep and lonely. It will take it's own time to work its way through you. Be kind and gentle with yourself, and don't expect everything to be okay for a while - it won't. There will be a hole in your heart for a while. It will take it's own time to heal, and time is the only thing that can do it. Do your crying and your grieving and your talking - it's the only way to work it through your system.

God bless you and your family, dear one, you are not alone, caring hearts are with you tonight and alway.

Beth
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 04:37 AM
Response to Original message
12. aw, sweetie pie
I'm sorry, big Skittles cyber-hug for you:
(((((((((((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))))))))))
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non sociopath skin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 04:39 AM
Response to Original message
13. My condolences to you, AutumnMist...
... and thank you for letting me share Diane's goodness.

My dad is very ill right now and the passing of wise older friends is very much on my mind.

Take care.
The Skin
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saracat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 04:41 AM
Response to Original message
14.  I am so sorry. You were very lucky to have such a wonderful person in
your life. May the love and light of her goodness always surround you and your family.
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Historic NY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 04:57 AM
Response to Original message
15. Please extend my condolences to your husband and yourself....I've
been struggling myself with a family death just before Christmas...I know the hurt and sadness and even thou only a short time has passed it still is constantly on my mind. I did as a step towards healing leave a donation to the victims of the Tsumani in my uncles memory. I think he would be happy, it will help others. :hug:
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Mark H Donating Member (98 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 05:45 AM
Response to Original message
16. My condolences
Sounds like a great Lady.
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Guaranteed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 05:59 AM
Response to Original message
18. Autumn, I'm really sorry you're in pain.
She knows you love her, and that you know she loves you.

Give yourself plenty of time. There's no need to rush feelings.
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shesemsmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 06:06 AM
Response to Original message
19. I am so sorry to hear of your loss
It sounds that you were blessed. ALL of you.How wonderful that you had a Mother in law to share with. Not everyone is so lucky. I know mine is a real WITCH. If You knew what she did when my Hubby died you would never believe it. You can take confort in the memories that you all shared and the love that she had for you and you all for her. How old is you Daughter. God Bless and keep you. You are in my prayers.
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deminflorida Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 06:13 AM
Response to Original message
20. Lost my mom to cancer about nine years ago, in January right
after Christmas. The Holidays have really never been the same for me. I know what your going through and I'm truly sorry.

My family sends it's best from here in Florida.
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