I've asked at least three times, but no one seems to give a rat's

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

...Can we please refrain from using the word "retard" in a post? You all do not know how much it pisses me off when I am reading a thread and someone writes that someone is a "stupid little retard," a "freeptard," etc. I don't care if you're referring to Bush.

You have no idea if someone here has a mentally retarded son, daughter, grandchild, etc., nor do you know if, G-d forbid, in the future, you yourself may have a child in the future who may be mentally retarded. Put yourself in those person's shoes for a moment.

[Jon8503]

1. Thank you. Have not done that myself that I remember but thanks

for reminding us. Agree with you.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

3. My cousin is mentally retarded. He's 35 with a mental capacity

of an eight year old. He was born that way because some doctor used forceps on him during delivery. Very sad.

[slackmaster]

2. I usually use the generic 'tard

Could be freeptard, fucktard, bastard, retard, or whatever.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

4. You can use another word. Idiot would be better than any of those.

I'm not for censorship, just for sensitivity.

[slackmaster]

8. Idiot used to be a standard medical term for a degree of retardation

It's also insensitive in the context of someone who actually has a loved one with a low IQ. Right up there with moron.

id·i·ot ( P ) Pronunciation Key (d-t)
n.
1. A foolish or stupid person.
2. A person of profound mental retardation having a mental age below three years and generally being unable to learn connected speech or guard against common dangers. The term belongs to a classification system no longer in use and is now considered offensive.

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=idiot

[Guaranteed]

49. I've heard that an idiot is defined as someone with an IQ below 75. nt

[OldLeftieLawyer]

14. Strictly speaking.........

........... idiot is just as insulting as "retard," since it refers to a specific class of people with a certain (low) IQ.

Also, "moron" and "cretin" are terms used to describe low-IQ individuals.

See?

You can't swing a retardidiotmoroncretin without someone getting agitated.

They're WORDS, people. Only WORDS.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

22. Words can be hurtful, don'tchaknow?

[OldLeftieLawyer]

30. Sticks and stones, yes

They're as hurtful as we are trained to believe they can be. But, that fault lies with us - we give the words the power because we're careless about them and how they're used.

Read the remarkably insightful and well-written book, "Nigger," by Randall Kennedy. http://tinyurl.com/4o2jw

Actually, Dick Gregory's book with the same title is a classic, come to think of it. http://tinyurl.com/5ntrt

[Flaxbee]

47. Hmm. An idea for another Carlin routine...

I agree with you, OldLeftieLawyer. Words can be hurtful, but only to the extent that you let them annoy or wound. I have friends who insist on being called "Jewish" not "a Jew" but then 20 seconds later will call someone a "nigger". Carlin did his 7 dirty words routine because the power given the words by those who wanted them censored was ridiculous.

[Ron Green]

57. Actually, "idiot" means "in one's own world." Not so much an IQ issue as

an EQ one. Bush is an idiot, because he refuses to take the risk of reaching out.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

7. Read the post about my cousin. He's not a 'bastard'

or an 'idiot.' He's really sweet. It drives me batty when people equivocate stupid, bastardly or idiotic with mentally retarded since people who are mentally retarded may be born that way or are that way as a result of a terrible accident.

[slackmaster]

10. I didn't say anything about your cousin

I apologize if it seemed like I was.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

18. Oh, I know you didn't. I was trying to make the point is all.

[Wat_Tyler]

5. Actually - I think it should be the other way around.

We shouldn't refer to people who are mentally disabled as retarded. The word defined is something that is held back, that has been halted from full growth - that definition suits Bush et al.

[mzmolly]

15. I agree. It's "mentally disabled" not "retarded"

:shrug:

[Guaranteed]

52. Developmentally disabled, actually. nt

[mzmolly]

70. True.

:hi:

So much for my trying to be PC about it. I have a nephew who is "developmentally disabled" so you'd think I'd have the terminology down?

Oh well, to me he's just my nephew, and I love him dearly.

[nine23]

31. I agree. The word is NEVER used in medicine anymore...

...and you'll find almost no MODERN progressive dictionaries (Oxford, Medical, etc.) who use it to describe a handicap/disability. It's an anachronism that fell out of use decades ago. A classic case of "taking the word back" to it's original definition.

I was an RN for 14 years ('86-'00) and never ONCE did I hear it used by ANYONE to describe a person with a disability.

It's my opinion that the person who started this thread is being disingenuous by perpetuating it's use IN THAT DATED MANNER, regardless of his/her seemingly noble intentions.

[Blue Diadem]

44. It's used more than you think

at least it was in the 90's. Before my sis passed away, when we were being asked to sign a DNR, the Dr's were still using the terms retarded, level of retardation, one even used the term vegetable as an equation to her Downs Syndrome.

Late 90's I worked at a small factory that employed several mentally and physically challenged people. Let's suffice it to say my eyes were opened widely to how awfully mean people still are to people unlike themselves.

[tjdee]

61. The term "mental retardation" is still used.

Worked for a nonprof, the term is still used. I have not heard "vegetable".

[Blue Diadem]

64. The Dr.

actually said "She's a vegetable anyway being retarded, so why not sign the DNR?"

He was a young guy maybe in residency? My sis's regular Dr. made a point of telling us later that he spoke with the Dr. about using that word.

[smbolisnch]

66. I worked for a nonprofit for several years also.

It was MRDD, actually speaking the intitials.

[dmkinsey]

6. I support this motion

The term is demeaning to persons who have a handicap. It is no more justifiable than racist remarks.
The "R" word should be retired.

dmkinsey

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

How would you "define" then?

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

13. dupe; sorry. Got excited, I guess.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

9. I concur...it's completely insensitive

[Blue Diadem]

11. Thanks from those of us

who have had mentally challenged family members. My sis had Downs Syndrome and way back all were lumped together and were referred to as "retarded".

I know most people aren't intentionally being mean when they use the term but it still does cause a stab of pain when I read the word.

[livinginphotographs]

12. I agree completely.

Having used the word "Freeptard" occasionally, and in my younger years the word "retard," I would like to say that I agree with you wholeheartedly.

There's a difference between making fun of someone for being an illiterate chimpy moron (Bush) and someone born with a medical condition they had no control over.

Not sure if this has been widespread at DU, but I support you all the way.

[Inland]

16. My brother in law's an idiot, and yet, I think the term is AoK for use

I nominate "moran" and "idiot" for people who are mentally deficient from other than clinical causes.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

17. Perhaps we should do a poll. :)

[Inland]

23. No need. Everyone thinks my brother in law is an idiot.

[morningglory]

25. Hey, if we call the chimp in chief (apologies to chimpanzees)

mentally challenged, which he seems to be, mentally disabled, which seems to describe him, do we have to then apologize to low IQ folks? Do we have to apologize to chimps and shrubs and bushes and frat boys? Were there any nice emporers we may offend? Will some repugnant Liberals be offended if we use "repug's" to refer to conservatives? Just asking. :)

[proud2BlibKansan]

39. I could go along with you on that

moran and idiot are okay by me

[miss_kitty]

19. thanks

i was thinking of that word yesterday, being guilty of using it in its perjorative sense, and I was reflecting on how it's not nice. I don't think I've used it on DU (Thought it was a 'bigoted' infraction, and am surprised its not. It is an epithet.) but if I have, I am sorry.

[progressoid]

20. Can I still call bush a douche bag?

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

24. I'm all for that (and I'm female?!). LOL!

[progressoid]

28. Yea!!!

[BlueJazz]

21. I agree with you. Even the term "Moron" causes a little twitch...

...when I see it.
Of course the one true thing is, I don't believe any fine DUer would intentionally put-Down any person who was mentally retarded..

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

26. Nor do I think any fine, sensitive DU'er use the word "retard"

or any derivative thereof. We're better than that.

[SmileyBoy]

27. I get really pissed off by this PC bullshit telling me to not use "retard"

I was talking to a former teacher of mine last year, and he got really pissy towards me when I used that word. It really irks me to no extent, and I really think it's an attempt to try to quelch my freedom of speech. If I want to call someone an idiotic fucking retard, that's my damn right.

If you're offended by it, then TOUGH SHIT.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

29. Guess someone peed on your Wheaties this morning...

I'm not trying to start a flame war here. Consider yourself lucky that no one in your family or circle of friends is mentally incapacitated. Remember, however, that there are people on this board who do have such family members and friends (see some of the posts above).

[BlueJazz]

32. Well..People probably wouldn't get so pissed or be.....

...so sensitive about it all if, in the past, people were not so cruel to the mentally handicapped.
We..As a whole (humans) brought this "PC stuff" on ourselves..

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

33. You're right about people being cruel to the mentally handicapped.

I was talking to someone not too long ago about how they used to treat people who had, say, depression in the Middle Ages.

I recall, back when I was in school, kids who were in what they used to classify as "special education" (I don't know if that's what it's still called or not) used to get teased mercilessly.

[BlueJazz]

35. Scrubdashrub...I remember in college being asked to go to a...

party by a fairly popular young lady.
Trouble was, I had heard and seen her be incredibly cruel to other less pretty, less rich (poor) classmates.
I told her "I don't go out with heartless individuals"
..She didn't have much to say to me after that!.. :)

[mcscajun]

36. Wow! You're awesome.

Truly. Observant and possessing good judgment and a fine sensibility.
And I don't say that to just Anybody.

(This is the ancient way of saying: :yourock:)

[Guaranteed]

53. Well done, BlueJazz.

Big points. :)

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

43. Yes and if we want to call you on being rude that is our right

Ain't free speech grand?

[Guaranteed]

50. It really is offensive. Totally derogatory and uncalled for.

It's not PC. It's common sense.

[AngryAmish]

71. Then what is PC?

[Bunny]

72. Well, I'm sick of fools who want to refer to common decency as

"PC" and declare that they are too stubborn, stupid, or obtuse to care about how they hurt others. So go ahead and call people "idiotic fucking retards" - believe me, it reflects WAY more poorly on you than it does on them.

BTW - do you use other perjoratives too? Do you say nigger, chink, spic, etc.? Are they PC words, too? I bet you don't, if for no other reason than saying those words publicly would cause you to get your ass kicked. But it's still okay to say retard? Sure, because no "retard" is going to kick your manly ass. Wow, you un-PC daredevil, you. How impressive. :eyes:

[Skittles]

34. I agree

it's not nice and comparing Bush like that sucks too - mentally retarded people I have known don't have a mean bone in their body.

[DemBones DemBones]

37. The use of "retard" as a pejorative term is much like the use of

"nigger" as a pejorative term. Those who have Down syndrome or another form of intellectual impairment are entitled to use the term "retard" if they choose, just as black people are allowed to use the term "nigger" if they choose. Anyone who has been discriminated against has a right to take the terms used to abuse them and claim them if they wish.

For everyone else, it's best to eliminate those terms from your usual vocabulary. That doesn't mean we have to be silly enough to be offended by technical references to retardation of growth in plants or Joseph Conrad's novel "Nigger of the Narcissus" but it does mean not using those words except in very specific ways.

[proud2BlibKansan]

38. I agree

I teach special ed and can't stand this word. It's repulsive.

[Baja Margie]

40. I don't think I've used that word

ummm...is spaz okay? Like forinstance, Bush is such a spaz. Is that bad ?

[livinginphotographs]

41. Oh don't worry...

We've got a copycat thread making fun of this one already. :eyes:

[livinginphotographs]

42. Kick again.

This one's sinking fast.

[kittycat1164]

45. I was called old fashioned

when I wouldn't let my kids even use the word retarded. Say, if when they were playing and one threw out an idea, the other might say "That's retarded" I put a stop to it quick. And hopefully, they're more aware of how they speak now. I always explained why I hated that particular use of the word retarded and now that they're older, they understand why. And I wholeheartedly agree with many of the posts.... I have never met a more loving and giving group of people than those with mental handicaps. Volunteering with the Special Olympics has been a gift, truly.

[arwalden]

46. Well...

:eyes: This is the most retarded thing I've heard since we had folks trying to institute an outright total ban the word "bitch".

So, now people type b*tch. Isn't that a hoot? They leave out a letter and put in an asterisk. And the people opposed to the word "bitch" seem to be happy with it. Yet the word is still the same, and the meaning is still the same... and the context is still the same... only the letters have changed.

-- Allen

Before you get ballistic on me... you should know that I have members in my family who are mentally handicapped. One first-cousin is 21 (mentally age 3), the other second-cousin is 59 (mentally age 6). --- I love them dearly, and I have no problems with the use of "retard".

As long as someone is not ridiculing them personally or aiming their words at handicapped folks directly then I have no problem with the word. Fortunately, *I'm* smart enough (and tough enough) to figure out who the speaker/writer is actually referring to when they use that word. I can easily determine why they used that word... and so, I don't take it personally, nor am I insulted on behalf of Lonnie and Tim.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

48. I agree about the context thingy, but this person wasn't trying to ban a

word..this person made a request...one can say yes or no to a request...what is more disgusting than people not saying yes or no to the request are the people now mocking this thread...which is more cruel than saying, "I disagree and will continue to use the word where I see fit."

[arwalden]

54. Huh? "More Cruel"?

>> which is more cruel than saying, "I disagree and will continue to use the word where I see fit." <<

If mocking someone is "more cruel than saying" one disagrees... you're suggesting that both things are cruel, yet one is more cruel than the other. --- Is that correct? Does this mean that you believe someone saying that they disagree and that they will not honor the request is being cruel?

Was that an awkwardly worded statement written in haste, or do you honestly believe that disagreement is being cruel?

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

55. Yes it was written in haste..forgive me for not parsing my every word

I figured I didn't have to.... I mean what the heck...if retard, bitch and every pejorative is acceptable..why must *I* parse my every word?

MY POINT IS this person made a request. Declining her request would be perfectly acceptable. Mocking her request is rude. Did I make myself clear?

[arwalden]

62. Do I Detect Hostility In That Response? I Asked For Clarification...

... because your sentence was vague, and it could be interpreted more than one way. My request was reasonable, but the tone of your response is not, Teena. :eyes:

>> I figured I didn't have to.... I mean what the heck...if retard, bitch and every pejorative is acceptable..why must *I* parse my every word? <<

Parsing isn't necessary... but proofing sometimes helps. :shrug:

>> MY POINT IS this person made a request. Declining her request would be perfectly acceptable. Mocking her request is rude. <<

There! You see? That wasn't so difficult, was it? -- Thanks for the clarification on what you didn't mean, and for restating it in direct and straightforward language that even I could understand.

>> Did I make myself clear? <<

Yes you did, but in ways that probably weren't intended. :hi:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

63. So I was a bit bitchy..or should I say b*tchy...

:evilgrin:

we all have our days and I must admit..I have no qualms about debating word usage, context, requests or the like...but some posts on this thread and another that MOCK people for simply asking for something just help me locate my inner bitch post haste.

I'm perfectly happy to allow people their free speech right to be as offensive as they want to be just so long as they stand for my free speech right to call them on it...I just love free speech when it's part of a reciprocal dynamic. Go figure.

[livinginphotographs]

51. Yeah, Colin Powell is a stupid n****r.

Hey, I'm dating a black girl, and I have no problems with the use of the the n-word. I'm not ridiculing black people personally, etc...

[Bunny]

73. So, I can say nigger, as long as I'm not directing it to a specific black

person or group of black people? Is this what you really mean? And can I call you a fag? Or are you smart enough and tough enough to figure out what I really mean?

Sorry, Allen, but your point falls apart when looked at a little more closely.

[slutticus]

56. I do this sometimes.

I'll call someone a 'retard' or something like that.

I also (shamefully) sometimes use phrases like "that's gay". I know these things are wrong, and I catch myself doing it. Someday I will be free of this.

So does this mean I can't use the word "bastard" anymore, lest real bastards like me get offended? :)

[tuvor]

58. If I asked that of everything on DU that offends me

I'd spend a lot of time just being offended.

If it bothers you that much (and I'm not belittling your feelings) you should take it to the mods, and to Skinner since he owns the site. There are over 60,000 users, and all but a couple hundred are not going to see this thread.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

60. But that is asking admin to ban words..this poster is not asking for a

word to be banned, she is asking people to think before they speak...something Skinner can't possibly enforce.

[tuvor]

65. You're mistaken. She would prefer not to see the word at all.

She asks: Can we please refrain from using the word "retard" in a post?

I don't see any room for negotiation there.

I understand where she's coming from, but it's pretty futile except to allow her to vent. 99% of DUers will not see this thread. That's why I suggested she contact Skinner. It seems to be the only realistic alternative if she wants to actually see something potentially happen. (Who knows? Maybe DU would then see fit to add an "ignore user" feature or some "bad language" filter?)

One day, I'll probably post asking people to quit using "Jesus" so casually. Jesusland, Jesus H. Christ, etc. But I know that the most it'll really accomplish is to allow me to vent.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

67. I guess we see her request differently since I know the question

Can we please refrain from using the word "retard" in a post? can be responded to with a YES or a NO. I think many people commented on context and that does matter.

I suspect if you do make that request, a number of people will honor it...some won't and some will be outright rude to you for even asking. :shrug:

You call it venting, I call it discussing..that's all

[tuvor]

68. Thanks for agreeing to disagree.

Cheers!

[lib_1138]

59. I HATE retards -- um I mean the word "retard" nt

[SKKY]

69. I'm not much for "Political Correctness", so I usually don't take...

...requests like this seriously. And while I don't mind offending people from time to time, I certainly would not want to "hurt" someone. I don't recall using that word, but if I have, I apologize and will refrain from doing so in the future.

[madinmaryland]

74. This is the same as "Short Bus President",

which also refers to retarded. This can be quite offensive to parents with these children.

[Bunny]

75. May I say thank you to the OP for bringing this up.

And thanks to the folks who agree that it's a hateful and hurtful word, and that unrepentant users of it are intellectually lazy and morally bankrupt.

It's long been a pet peeve of mine when supposedly progressive people, many of whom belong to traditionally oppressed groups, believe that asking people to refrain from using the word "retard" is just one-PC-over-the-line for them, and that, as God is their witness, they'll say "retard" if they damn well feel like it. To you, may I extend a hearty Fuck You.

Mods, you may now delete this post.

[Misunderestimator]

76. All together now... Let's pronounce the word "RE-tard"

Does is sound like the word from which it derives, re-TARD-ed, or does it sound simply by the way it is pronounced as an insult, RE-tard? As a verb, re-TARD, it is a completely legitimate term to describe slowing something down, but I agree that the slang use of it, RE-tard, is utterly offensive.


n. Offensive Slang

1. Used as a disparaging term for a mentally retarded person.
2. A person considered to be foolish or socially inept.

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=retard

And it's disheartening to see so many people defend its use.