What's your favorite Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, etc. Quote?

[Murphys_Unlawful]

DOH!

[davidinalameda]

1. Eat my shorts!

[fluffernutter]

2. "The ironing is delicious"

[ET Awful]

3. Way too many to list :)

But Homer's comment in England when he was trying to exit the roundabout was priceless: "It's time to do what Americans do best, act unilaterally!" :)

[sui generis]

4. Homer's Dad:

"I used to get by on my looks. Now they're gone...withered away like an old piece of fruit"

[hholli1]

5. Maggie.

The episode where she talked is one of my favorites.

[ghostsofgiants]

8. You mean the one where she says "daddy"? or the one I prefer...

"This is indeed a disturbing universe"?

[Squatch]

6. There are just too many...

"No offense, Apu, but when they were handing out religions, you must have been out taking a whiz." -Homer

"Everyone is stupid except me." -Homer

"Let's see here. Caramel, waffle batter, liquid smoke." -Homer makes waffles

Homer: Why do you mock me, o Lord?
Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there. (she scrapes it down with a broom)
Homer: Oh, I know I shouldn't eat thee, but...mmm...sacrilicious.

[Squatch]

7. Rappin' Ronnie Reagan

Homer: Don't worry. I brought my Rappin' Ronnie Reagan Tape! It always makes the trip go faster.
Ronnie Reagan Tape: Well, well, well, B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-Well, well, well?
Homer: Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh. Ya know something? He did say "Well," a lot!
Ronnie Reagan Tape: Well, well, well, we-we-we-we-we, well, well, well, we-we-we-well, well, well, we-we-we-we-we-well, well, well, we-we-weh.

[EOTE]

9. Homer and Apu...

Homer: Hey Apu, do you have any of that beer with Skittles in it.... Skittlebrau?

Apu: Mr. Simpson, such a beverage does not exist.

Homer: Ok, then I'll just take a six pack and some skittles.

[DelawareValleyDem]

11. Homer and Apu part II

Apu: There isn't enough time to learn over two hundred years of United States History

Homer: Oh, it can't be that many.

[Richardo]

36. Apu: "Cotton Mather...." *falls asleep*

:D

[Az]

14. Someone went and made Skittlebrau

http://www.glossynews.com/artman/publish/skittlebrau.shtml

[Murphys_Unlawful]

10. I found this one...

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.

[pagerbear]

12. When driving and almost hitting a woodland animal

Homer: Doh!
Marge: A deer!
Lisa: A female deer!

[Az]

13. Homer

And what he greatly thought, he nobly dared. - Homer 850BC

[dean_dem]

15. "I call the big one Bitey"

"I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean- S-M-A-R-T!"

"There, there, shut up, boy."

"Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-Leader! Leader!"

"What if we picked the wrong religion? Every Sunday, we're just maing God madder and madder!"

Just got my Simpsons Season 5 DVD's last night. Life is good.

[yardwork]

16. Homer: mmmmmm. Rich, creamery butter......

[Coventina]

17. Bart: Ma'am I have been grossly misinformed about witches!

Homer: mmmm....incapacitating.....(after spraying pepper spray on his eggs)

Marge: Homer! Have you been eating that sandwich again?!

Lisa: I AM THE LIZARD QUEEN!!!!

[Murphys_Unlawful]

18. Homer: Here's to alcohol...

the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems

[Jessica]

19. Homer singing his goodbye to beer:

"When I was 17,
I drank some very good beer.
I drank some very good beer
I purchased with a fake ID
My name was Brian McGee
I stayed up listening to Queen
When I was 17."

[Murphys_Unlawful]

20. Bart: What's Santa's Little Helper doing to that dog? ....

Looks like he's trying to jump over, but he can't quite make it.

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

21. Mmmmm... Donuts.

Or anything else Homer says starting with "Mmmmm".

[fishwax]

22. Kids are great, Apu ... you can teach them to like the things

that you like, and hate the things that you hate ... and they practically raise themselves. (Homer)

We often get the "when are you going to have kids" question from family members, so I've found that an unattributed and slightly modified form of the above quote, delivered with all seriousness, helps to derail the conversation.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

23. Grandpa Simpson

"How about giving Honest Abe another turn in the Oval Office?"

[dean_dem]

24. Ned: "Well, I'd expect this kind of language at Denny's...

...but not here!"

Homer: "Going to church this morning, Ned? No need, I was up all night working on a flat-tax proposal and I accidentally proved there was no God."

Moe: "Guns are only for home defense, hunting dangerous and delicious animals, and keepin' the King of England out of your face."

[Tafiti]

25. This is easy...

...the episode where Lisa makes a robot for a science project, which will repeat what you say.

<setting: Kitchen table, Marge serves up a healthy breakfast - Homer not happy...>

LISA (whispering): Don't worry, Dad. I'll get us out of this one...
LISA: Say, Dad, would you like to come see my science project?
HOMER (loudly): No. But I sure don't wanna eat this crappy breakfast.

<look at each other, run to the living room...>

HOMER (holding robot): I like beer.
ROBOT: I like beer.
HOMER: Awww, he likes beer.
(pours beer into robots mouth, burns it up)

Instant classic!

[Az]

29. In honor of the robot

I must correct your description. Linguo the robot doesn't repeat what someone says. He corrects their gramar and says what they should have said.

Lisa: If you misuse language, he'll correct you!
Homer: Well, lets put him to the test! Me love beer!
Linguo: I love beer!
Homer: Hey! He loves beer! Here little fellah!
Linguo: ERROR!
Homer: I'm sorry, I thought he was a party robot.

ftp://ftp.smoovenet.com/pub/lardlad/sounds/season12/error4.mp3

[Tafiti]

31. Ahh, yes. Sorry.

I haven't the seen the episode in awhile - it's probably been 3 years or more. I don't know why I can't catch it on reruns, but I never see it.

Even funnier, now that it's corrected. Thanks.

[LSdemocrat]

26. I love these real lazy Saturdays,

not like that fake Saturday that almost got me fired.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

27. Bart's "Oh my God! The dead have risen and they're voting Republican!"

[Murphys_Unlawful]

28. Ahhh... good one!

[SouthoftheBorderPaul]

32. I may be paraphrasing here but....

"I'm thirsty. Ah, whaddaya gonna do." - Homer

[giant_robot]

30. All right, brain.

You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.

And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

[Murphys_Unlawful]

33. "I'll ruin you like a Japanese banquet." -George Bush

[Murphys_Unlawful]

34. Mmmmmmmmmmm...... Caramel Bologna

[Murphys_Unlawful]

35. Homer: I wish I married a businessman....

Then I'd have nice things.

[driver8]

37. Homer: "Fugu me!!!"

Did anyone see the episode where Homer decided he liked sushi and his favorite sushi was the japanese pufferfish? He thought he was poisoned...that one kills me everytime I think of it.

Also,

"Oh sandwich...how could I ever be mad at you."

[Zero Gravitas]

38. Ten thousand dollars?

Woo-hoo! I'm a millionaire!

mmmm.... 64 slices of American cheese....

[Murphys_Unlawful]

39. Homer: Lisa, if the Bible has taught us anything....

and it hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as foxy boxing, hot oil wrestling, and such and such.

[noonwitch]

40. "I've always preferred the hands on touch you only get with hired goons"

C. Montgomery Burns.
"No child has ever messed with the Republican Party and lived". I think Sideshow Bob said it.

"Gotta nuke something" Nelson Muntz. Also:

"Joy to the world, the teacher's dead
We barbequed her head.
What happened to her body,
We flushed it down the potty,
And round and round it goes....

[Murphys_Unlawful]

41. Anything that ....

Comic book guy says.

[vi5]

42. Homer: "If they bible has taught us nothing else (and it hasn't)..

..it's that women should stick to sports they're good at like hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such."

That or "Rock Stars...is there anything they don't know?"

Or when Stephen Hawking is lecturing the town intelligentsia on using their smarts for good rather than evil Homer stands up and says "Yeah, Larry Flynt is right. You guys suck!"

[DelawareValleyDem]

43. Some more Homer quotes

"Shut up brain or I'll stab you with a Q-Tip"

"Homer no function beer well without"

(describing operating a firearm) "I got this incredible feeling of power. Like God must feel when he holds a gun"

[Murphys_Unlawful]

44. Homer: "Mmmm, free goo."

[yellowcanine]

45. "Don't have a cow, man."