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Why I am a Republican...Too funny...

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Scaramouche Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-29-03 01:50 AM
Original message
Why I am a Republican...Too funny...
Coutesy of TBOGG. Here are my favorites:

Well, after the head injury, i just don't understand them democrats...- chris

Because my illegal Mexican pool boy doesn’t pay enough taxes- Michael

I am a Republican for many reasons - I believe in self-reliance, (like our fine president who is a self-made man), I believe in the infallibility of the free market (because we can trust big companies to police themselves), and I believe that God Hisself has blessed this fine nation (through his son Jesus Christ, whom all good people love and accept as their Savior). But mostly because I hate gays and darkies. – Maureen

I'm a Republican because.... I'm sorry, do I know you? I mean, I don't recognize you, are you even in The Club? Because if you're not in The Club, you know, I'm really not even supposed to be talking to you.- paul

Because my heart is a small, dark hole from which nothing, not even light or human emotion, can escape.- gunther

Because I’m convinced I’m as well off as all those folks I see on them TV shows.- gunther

Because I think that Blacks, Indians and other minorities have been getting a free ride in this country for the last 400 years.- gunther

I'm a Republican because I believe that freedom of speech is great, but you know, only within reason- matt

Allowed to "jump the line" to get on Limbaugh radio show to tell Rush that he's absolutely right about Hillary Clinton's complicity in the Triangle Shirtwaist Fire.- rich

..government should be of, by, and for the RIGHT people- Alan

I had sex once, but it wasn't all that great--why should anybody else enjoy themselves.- chujoe

I came for the tax cuts, but stayed for the intolerance-davis

I am a Republican because Democrats are pussies who won't fight in wars for their country and Republicans are heroes who unselfishly hold themselves out of dangerous combat as young men because the country will need them later on to run those wars from cool secret bunkers which probably have trapdoors that drop "No 2" into a shark tank if he screws up.- damon

There's nothing like putting people in jail on a "law and order" platform for doing the same drugs you did. Consistency being a hobgoblin and all.-dan

I'm a Republican because smart, well educated, well spoken, thoughtful people make me feel insecure and uncomfortable when they try to force me to use my own higher brain functions to sort through the problems and challenges facing our society on a global level- sterling

because thinking causes wrinkles.-julia

Because Tom Daschle wouldn't return my phone calls.--Governor Bill Owens (R-CO)(actually john)

Becuz librul teechers are filing our childrens branes with goddless evolushun and terning them into morans- tresy

Because the Nazi Party turned me down- moulinoon

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yorgatron Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-29-03 01:56 AM
Response to Original message
1. where'd you find this?
over at freeperland? funny stuff :D
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Scaramouche Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-29-03 02:11 AM
Response to Reply #1
3. I found it at this blog...
http://www.tbogg.blogspot.com/

I just found it and boy is he funny...
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10digits Donating Member (127 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-29-03 02:00 AM
Response to Original message
2. This is satire.
Check the links. None the less it is funny.
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lcordero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-29-03 02:21 AM
Response to Original message
4. If they try to act all macho about war and stuff like that say
Edited on Mon Sep-29-03 02:21 AM by lcordero
something like "Republicans are sissies. Truman had the biggest nuts...he dropped the atomic bomb, what has your boy done lately?", try and say it with a straight face.
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MSchreader Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-29-03 02:23 AM
Response to Original message
5. "I came for the tax cuts, but stayed for the intolerance"
This is the best one of them all! LOL!

Martin
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Padraig18 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-29-03 05:34 PM
Response to Reply #5
9. Yeh!
That one cracked me up, too! :P
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Piperay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-29-03 05:10 AM
Response to Original message
6. I actually heard one repuke say over the
radio that he was repuke because he has "principles"...ROTFLMAO! :wtf:
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Scaramouche Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-29-03 10:38 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. I wonder if he meant he was a principal....
Edited on Mon Sep-29-03 10:44 AM by Scaramouche
In Jr. High we had this principal who was also a slum lord...I guess he was w/o principles, too...

Very republican.


on edit: clarity
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PittPoliSci Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-29-03 05:27 PM
Response to Original message
8. kick!
this rocks! kick!!!
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LittleApple81 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-29-03 10:46 PM
Response to Reply #8
10. kick
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proud patriot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-29-03 11:07 PM
Response to Original message
11. LOL
Becuz librul teechers are filing our childrens branes with goddless evolushun and terning them into morans- tresy

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
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Scaramouche Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-30-03 11:17 AM
Response to Reply #11
12. That one make me laugh too...
Because I can see in my minds eye an actual 'publican saying that.
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