How many of you were stupid enough to get married?

[Floogeldy]

Heh.

[EstimatedProphet]

1. Me

But the first time really was stupid. This time isn't.

[yardwork]

2. Happily married twenty years and counting!

:pals:

[democracyindanger]

44. Wow. Two decades of stupidity.

:evilgrin:

[CO Liberal]

3. I Was Stupid the First Two Times

I hit the jackpot with The Princess. We celebrate our 12th anniversary next month.

:loveya::loveya:

[WestHoustonDem]

4. Just once. Happily divorced now

[DELUSIONAL]

5. Me -- 31 years ago -- still married.

But the fundies don't think we should be married -- we don't have human kids -- just fur kids.

[AlCzervik]

6. 14 years for me and i'm a happy woman.

[maveric]

7. For 18 years of what I thought was heaven.

As it turned out I was only there for procreation and financial support purposes till the kids were a bit older and she found someone better.
Then just in the blink of an eye she was gone and I was a single parent of 3 with a mortgage, car payments and credit card debt.

Sanctity of marriage? Never again.

[Lone_Star_Dem]

30. Sounds like you got a raw deal.

I'm sorry for all you were put through.

I still believe that there's someone out there for me, after having went through something very similar to what you have. Who knows in a few years I may even look for them. :)

[maveric]

36. That was my chance. I've accepted my lifetime of celibacy.

I cant trust anyone anymore. Its a fucked up attitude but its the one I have.
I was truly in love with her.

[UTUSN]

8. Or, "Young & Dumb & Full of ****" n/t

[Left Is Write]

9. I'm married, but I'm most assuredly not stupid.

:)

[Digit]

10. Happily, oh so happily divorced

From my frigid Repuke husband. Shudder
He hasn't dated since I left his sorry ass...and that was 18 years ago.

[BiggJawn]

11. So damn STUPID I did it TWICE!

Fool me once, shame on you...Fool me twice, Uh...Won't get fooled again...

[Maddy McCall]

12. Married an abuser...

The stab wounds and the broken ribs were enough to tell me it was time to file for divorce, which I did, but I had to wait eight months until our son was born before the Texas judge granted the divorce.

Tis ok. I am away from him now, and I am finishing my PhD. I'm ABD now. All But Dissertation, and All But Dick...I left the bastard and his sicko family in Texas, and I have never been happier.

[Left Is Write]

13. Good for you!

I'm glad you're away from him.

[Maddy McCall]

23. Thanks, and here's the rest of the story.

After him not paying child support for almost three years nor holding up to the other specifics of our divorce decree, Texas DHS was after him and about to put him in jail.

He telephoned me and said, "Call off your dogs, and I'll do anything you want. I'll even sign away all my parental rights." That was fine with me, because he had never done anything for my son anyway--had not even ever seen him.

Two weeks later, we were in court in Texas again, and the guardian ad litem told the judge that it would be in my son's best interest to terminate the father's parental rights (yes, they took the several incidents of spousal abuse into consideration). The judge signed the paperwork, we got in the car, headed back to Mississippi, and I haven't seen said father since. Oh, he's called frequently to tell me that he has a good job and to ask me to move back, but I always said NO. Right now he's in the pen in Texas for three years for his EIGHTH DUI. (I knew he was a loser when I married him, but I did it anyway. Even his ex-wife and his best friend had called to tell me that he would abuse me, but I ignored them...I was young, stupid, and in love, I thought.)

I'm just hoping he doesn't "find Jesus" in prison and attempt to track us down to try to reconnect with my son. He really doesn't want to come near us--I might be a liberal, but I have devices in my home to protect my son and myself. He and his crazy ass family do NOT want to approach me.

[Lone_Star_Dem]

42. Depending on the circumstances

A three year sentence in Texas can be served in less time then it takes to break in a new bra.

If it were me and I found out that he were trying to locate me I would place a restraining order on him. It won't keep him away, but it does give you legal grounds to have him arrested if he shows up. Considering the history of abuse, you should have little trouble getting a judge to issue one. Then you can then let it be known to his family that he's legally not allowed near you.

Also, I would keep the protective devices handy when you hear he's out, just in case. You certainly won't get any flap from me for having to protect yourself from an abuser.

[Maddy McCall]

43. I have a protective order in hand...and I am friends with most...

of the guys in the police and sheriff's departments here. They know the situation.

He's still in prison. I email the pen at least once a month, and they always reply with the expected release date, which will be a full three-year term.

I wouldn't dare contact his family--they are as crazy as he is. I am praying that he will forget about us and stay away. As soon as he is out of prison, I will go get my protective order renewed.

Thanks for all of your advice. Believe me, I won't ever be caught unaware.

:hug:

[yardwork]

53. I remember how you took care of that Copper Head!

You're right - your violent ex and his crazy family don't want to come anywhere near you. You are good mom.

[Maddy McCall]

74. Awww...thanks!

Kisses to you! :loveya:

[auntAgonist]

16. way to go Maddy!

You have done well for yourself!

How awful to have gone through, but you are a survivor. Congratulations.

[Maddy McCall]

26. Thanks!

Please see post 23 for the rest of the story. :-)

[Lone_Star_Dem]

22. Way to move on with your life!

I'm glad you were able to get the hell out in time.

People convicted of heinous domestic violence should have to wear a tattoo on their foreheads.

[Maddy McCall]

27. I agree about the tattoo...

He had been convicted with his previous wife, too, and then in the relationships he was in after me, too. He has a long list of domestic violence charges, but the DUIs were what put him in jail. :shrug:

Please see post 23 for "the rest of the story." :)

[sundog]

33. glad you're still alive

that sucks!

:grouphug:

[Maddy McCall]

35. I almost didn't make it out alive...

The night of the final beating was the closest I have ever come to death...thank god for the angel of a landlady who had befriended me who rescued me.

BIG HUGS TO WMC! My Texas angel and hero. :-)

[NightTrain]

14. Funniest thread title of the night!

Particularly since I'm still single at 38. ;)

[goodboy]

15. ME, but I married an eastern-european hottie. goodboy, and goodgirl

are doing great.

[Floogeldy]

17. No insult meant to successful marriages

That would be great.

[rbnyc]

18. Neither one of us is stupid, so maybe that's why our marriage is so happy.

Probably if you feel that getting married is a stupid thing to do, you shouldn't do it. But for some of us, it works out great. It's one of the best things I've ever done, and I've actually done a lot of great things.
:)

[3days]

19. Second time is the charm

[RagingInMiami]

20. I'm 36 and have never been married

Maybe one day, if I meet the right person.
Just last month I went out on a date with a woman in her late 30s who was twice-divorced. It was our first date and she started talking about marriage, telling me she needs to know immediately if I'm marriage-minded because she doesn't "date anyone she can't marry."
I told her not to hold her breath because I wasn't about to start promising rose gardens, if you know what I mean. I did that once in my late 20s and found myself engaged to the wrong woman.
So anyway, this woman gets freaked out, calls me a "terminal bachelor" and storms out the sports bar, leaving me there with a full pitcher of beer and an astonished waitress. Women.

[Renew Deal]

21. Forget her

How was the beer? :beer:

[RagingInMiami]

24. The beer was good

I ended up closing out the tab at the table, taking my pitcher to the bar and watching the Dolphins beat the Patriots on Monday Night Football with a bunch of rowdy fans.

[Renew Deal]

28. So this is recent?

lol even better.

[RagingInMiami]

34. The week before I left to Colombia on Christmas vacation

[JimmyJazz]

25. Erm - will you marry ME? I just kinda need to know because

well, we've posted to each other at least ten or twelve times and, if that's not what you have in mind, I think I need to post elsewhere and all. I'm not getting any younger, you know...blah, blah, blah.


How do you like me now? :7

[RagingInMiami]

32. That is what she was telling me

Explaining to me how her "stock was falling" with each day while mine was growing with each day. Shit. I just wanted to go out for a few beers with the possibility of getting to know someone new.
She was pretty hot, looked much younger than 38. We could have had fun together and who knows what that would have lead to.
But I ain't a moran. I've had my share of psycho women to let them go when they insist on storming out the door.
It's hard to believe that there was once a day -- a long time ago -- that I would have chased after her and told her exactly what she wanted to hear.

[JimmyJazz]

39. No, seriously - will you marry me? I love you and want to have

your children. :D You are really cute and all.

actually, that pisses me off, because it's women like her that give older men an excuse to chase after younger women. I know that after I reached a certain age and was still single, every man I dated assumed all I wanted was to get married. Now, I understand why.

[Bouncy Ball]

51. Sounds like she did you a favor.

Showed her true colors right away. What is UP with that?

Desperation smells bad.

[Left Is Write]

29. Good riddance to her.

At least you found out what kind of person she is before you wasted any more time on her.

[Radical Activist]

38. When I think of places to meet a spouse

Sports Bar is the first thing that comes to mind.

[Nadienne]

63. It's not just women.

After two months of dating some guy, he was already imagining his life as a husband with me as his wifey-poo. I was much younger and didn't know what I wanted in life, but I knew I didn't want to be his wife. Shortly after I broke up with him, he got married. I don't know if they're happy together or not. I do know that before you ever even consider marriage, you should make sure it's the man/woman you're going to marry, and not the marriage itself, that you want.

[RagingInMiami]

64. Well, if he happened to get divorced and is looking to get married again

I will introduce him to a special little psycho woman I know in South Florida.

[fluffernutter]

68. what a hobag.

women like that are just obnoxious. like you want to share your yummy pitcher of beer with such a desperate person anyway! :P

[Ilsa]

31. Married for the first time at the ripe old age of 35 (almost).

Still married to the same man. Can't imagine being single again, except when the kids are driving me nuts, then it's pretty damn easy.

[babylonsister]

37. Yeah, me, too. Married 23 yrs. in Feb. And it ain't bad!

:pals:

[RetroLounge]

40. Stupid the first time, and too damn drunk

This time I've hit the jackpot.

Best woman ever!

8 years, 2 kids, and still madly in love.

RL

[Porcupine]

41. Suckered once, divorce still pending...

we had a hippie wedding and a country music divorce. I lost my kids, my house, my dog, my health and anything else I valued.

I'll consider dating again the first wednesday after never or whenever I officially qualify as "financially secure." (same day probably)

Mairrage should be a business contract with rights, responsibilities and escape clauses specified. To pretend it has anything to do with love or commitment is a cruel joke. I won't even go into the stupid "vows" we came up with.

Call me Bitter In California

[DaveinMD]

45. best thing I ever did

and in less than a month I'll have a baby girl too.

[loudestchick]

46. 14 years in February...I think he's almost grown up now.

[BuddhaGirl]

47. My husband and I met online

and last October, we happily celebrated our 6th anniversary.

We both had prior "practice" marriages. This time it's for keeps!!! :-)

[tcfrogs]

52. I love that phrase - "practice" marriages

Thanks BuddhaGirl! That line made my day! That's what I'll call my 1st marriage too!

[Ellen Forradalom]

48. Me.

This wife&mother thing (as conventionally defined) does not suit me at all.

[Solly Mack]

49. Me..and I waited until I was in my late 20's too

I really should have known better by then.

[Bouncy Ball]

50. I was smart enough to marry mine!

Damn glad I didn't let him get away. On edit, got married at the ripe old age of 21. Happy as can be!

[OrwellwasRight]

54. I was . . . but I got over it. nt.

[NNadir]

55. I have twenty years with the same woman. Nothing stupid about it.

Now the thirty one years before her, that was stupid...

[SarahB]

56. Stupid

Yet, I don't think I want to talk about it after all.

I did what I thought was right at the time. Ultimately, it wasn't. I did my best. Now, it's over.

[annabanana]

57. Not until I was 36.......now 18 years, 2 kids later....was good choice.

If I had done it earlier it wouldn't have worked.

[latebloomer]

66. same here

except I was 38-- had the good sense at least not to marry any of the charismatic bad boys I kept falling for. I too have 2 kids, and a great husband-- though long stretches of couples counseling have definitely helped to ease some of the rocky spots!

[RiffRandell]

58. Me. Best thing I ever did.

My husband is awesome---can be the normal dickhead, but a great guy and a great father. And he's a huge animal lover. And a huge liberal.

[BamaGirl]

59. Me, for 10 years n/t

[AccessGranted]

60. 3 Times and Counting - Hahaha

3 Marriages and currently engaged. Life is beautiful!

[SnowBack]

61. Had my same sex marriage at 43

After 16 years together...

Marriage may be stupid to you, but some of us are under attack just because we want the right to do it in this country...

:evilfrown:

[RadicalMom]

62. Twenty-five years ago, but not stupid, still together.

[Nadienne]

65. I've been living with my boyfriend for over four years.

Already our lives are so enmeshed with each other's that a breakup would be quite a mess. We might as well consider ourselves married. Aside from tax advantages, I don't know what we would gain by officially tying the knot.

[RagingInMiami]

67. A big old party after the wedding is nice

[Nadienne]

69. Partying with friends is fun.

Partying with family members is sometimes fun.

Family members and friends together would be a disaster.

[okieinpain]

70. actually the best decision I've ever made. I truly love my wife and

kids, even though they try and piss me off at every turn. I know it's done with the love.

[warrens]

71. Raises hand

I have a wonderful daughter out of the deal, and the ex and I get along now, but it was four years of hell.

[Radical Activist]

72. Not me

I'm happily single

[TrustingDog]

73. should be a marriage course 101 in the education system...

really.
who the fuck cares if a train from pennsylvania goes 80mph and one from the gulag is coming in at 50 and where'll they meet? what frikken life skill does that teach you other than not to be on the gulag train?

[tyedyeto]

75. Had over 25 years of stupidity.......

but I have 2 great kids (adults now) to show for it. Wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.
Have a s/o now and life is good!!!