MY SISTER IS DIVORCED! HALLELUJAH!

[Bertha Venation]

In a perfect world this -- any divorce -- would be a tragedy. But the marriage was flawed from the start. She never wanted kids, either; he wanted kids. Now, when at Xmas last year he was going by their house to drop off their gifts (cash), he got lost on the way to their new house and gave up, didn't call. :eyes: He's clearly the father of the year :eyes: -- and my sister is one of the best two mothers I have ever seen. My niece & nephew are two of the coolest people on the planet, and my sister is glad she had them. The kids pretty well loathe their father. I don't know if he's an irredeemable human being. But I'm not going to trash him.

Enough about that. It's over.

This is a celebratory thread! The divorce is final and the H. family rejoices! When I go home next month we are gonna party! Hallelujah!

:party: :bounce: :party: :bounce: :party: :bounce: :party: :bounce: :party: :bounce: :party: :bounce: :party: :bounce: :party: :bounce: :party:

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

1. Congratulations!

Sometimes divorce is for the best. Hope everything goes as smoothly as possible for your sister and her family from here on out.

[Bertha Venation]

3. Thank you!

Woo hoo! :bounce:

[NYC]

2. Congratulations to your sister!

:party:

[Bertha Venation]

4. Thanks, NYC!

:party: indeed!

[NewJeffCT]

5. Congratulations & good luck to her

I'm sorry she had to put up with her now ex-husband.

[Bertha Venation]

10. hi Jeff

Thanks! :hi: :bounce: :party:

[henslee]

6. My sister was in a dud marriage too. I, too was happy when she split up

with the cheap dullard but then a funny thing happened -- I could see him getting totally character assasinated and I could feel my nieces picking up on all these "grown up weirdness vibrations". They needed to feel that their dad was a good dude. I make it a point to hang out with him and my nieces and I always ask them about him. I realize that no matter how much I love my sis, it takes two to tango and she's no angel! I just don't want the girls to grow up neurotic.

[Bertha Venation]

9. "it takes two to tango" absolutely . . .

In this case, when the dad has been fired from innumerable jobs for being freakishly and constantly angry; when the dad embarrasses his son by going off at the counter at McDonald's, at the sandwich maker at Subway, at the guy in the kiosk at the gas station, and says "fuck" 47 times in a 5-minute stretch at playing a video game (yes, the boy counted); when the dad loses one of his jobs over being proved an embezzler and narrowly escapes prosecution . . .

It is clearly best that the "father" is out of the picture. The kids don't like him and don't much care if he's ever part of their life. (The kids in question, BTW, are 17 and 14 and both more mature than their father.)

I have always tried to be kind to him, to engage him in conversation, etc. It turns out to be a frustrating effort at turning the other cheek. He has never been anything but a misogynistic asshole towards me and his wife and even his daughter.

So much for "I'm not going to trash him." :shrug:

:hi:

[henslee]

11. Sounds like a prize. My sister's ex is actually polite and never vulgar

but he is super passive-agressive and sabatoges her constantly. (on edit) He is mean to her when no one else is around -- a sneak.

I think he's mama's boy and never fully adjusted to showering attention on others. He is getting better but crap, at this rate he'll be normal by the time he's 60. People can sure let themselves get screwed up. I think a lot more of its genetic than we think.

[Bertha Venation]

12. I feel for your sister.

That passive-aggressive stuff can build so much resentment within a household. It's good she's shed of him, even though he's getting better.

People can let themselves get screwed up, and genetics play a part, but so does upbringing & environment. Our childhood was horrific, yet genetics (or something -- ???) came through, because my sisters and I all broke the patterns we were doomed to repeat.

[Southpaw Bookworm]

14. Sounds like my father

In this case, when the dad has been fired from innumerable jobs for being freakishly and constantly angry; when the dad embarrasses his son by going off at the counter at McDonald's, at the sandwich maker at Subway, at the guy in the kiosk at the gas station, and says "fuck" 47 times in a 5-minute stretch at playing a video game (yes, the boy counted);

And I'll raise you a "when the dad threatens to shoot the dog for barking"

[Bertha Venation]

16. Yikes. At least my ex-bro-in-law likes animals too much to do something

like that. My stepfather was like this too. Once we went to the drive-in movie and I complained from the back seat that the rear-view mirror was in my way. He became enraged and ripped it off the glass and threw it at me and yelled "happy now?"

Amazing we can survive this crap, isn't it, Southpaw? (Dig your user name.)

[MemphisTiger]

7. Not to rain on your parade, but if they were doomed from

the start, why did they get married?

[Bertha Venation]

8. The answer to that is far too long for this forum, and not

pertinent, and no one's business. :)

In short: they were two fucked up people 25 years ago. One of them grew up.

[ronnykmarshall]

13. Good for her!

:toast: from the home of the Los Angeles Angeles of Orange County :silly:

[Bertha Venation]

15. You just HAD to bring that up, didn't you, Ronny?

:nuke:

Oh, well. They're still my team. :shrug:

:hi:

Hey, Ronny -- come to the Divorce Party! In Fountain Valley, Sat. night Feb. 19. :bounce: I'll be there!