Funny thing happened at the Winn Dixie tonight.

[Maddy McCall]

I was walking down the aisle, and I, a white woman, saw a friend, a black man--we both are on the Democratic Executive Committee in my county. So, we were standing there chitchatting, when the ex-slut-now-fundy woman who started the pregnancy crisis center in my hometown walked by and stopped nearby, obviously trying to listen to our conversation.

Let me tell you a little more about her before I go on. I was very good friends with her gay brother before we lost touch. She's been married three times, and she was well-known as a skanky pill popper and drunk before she "found Jesus" and impressed the fundies by donating all of her free time at the crisis center. Since she's been "saved," she won't speak to anyone who isn't in her fundy circle--NOT EVEN HER BROTHER. In her old life, I used to see her and ask how her brother was, and she would tell me. Now she avoids me whenever she sees me.

She had Bush signs and "This family votes pro life" signs all over her yard during the election, and "Abortion is Murder" and "Man+Woman=Marriage" stickers on her SUV. I won't speculate on the authenticity of her conversion, but I will say that she's only shifted addiction from pills to Jesus now. And, in my book, an addiction is an addiction.

So, she stands there, obviously listening to us and then gives me a tisk-tisk stare. I am sure that, knowing her history, she assumes that we heathens MUST be doing drugs and sleeping together, since talking to someone in the grocery store MUST equate to fucking them.

Well, anyway, my friend and I were talking about the election and how sad we were. And my friend said, "I was really pissed off about the results. I can't believe he won." And I said (partly to egg the eavesdropper on), "That's debateable. I think there was fraud." Out of the corner of my eye, I caught her turn, as if she was going to speak. And I continued, "But it's amazing to me how many poor southerners voted for Bush just because they have irrational fears of women making decisions about their own bodies."

SHE "harumphed" at me, and then said "Bush is a Christian!" :WTF: and then left her full buggy in the middle of the aisle, and stomped out of the store. She made an obvious scene--what a psycho former-pill-popping bitch! The funny thing to me is that if she wouldn't have been eavesdropping on us, she wouldn't have heard our conversation.

BITCH! :evilgrin:

[roguevalley]

1. don't you just love people like that? Where I live, in red ville

no one is talking about politics. However, our biggest employer -a urea plant- is going bye-bye next november. So much for the trickle down. Next time ask her how her first through third husband is, the bigamist bitch.

[Not Me]

2. That's hilarious!

Good on you!

[saltpoint]

3. Well, Maddy, I think you handled it just right.

She walked out of the store, leaving her cart!?

Jesus.

I like the way you asked about her brother in times past, and also that you and the co-worker could speak like that as true friends in the market.

Bravo.

[Maddy McCall]

8. Yes, and my friend and I looked at each other with silent amazement...

as she stomped out, and then we busted out laughing. I think what grates the fundies in my town is that I don't let Southern Baptist mores or their attempts to shame or ostracize me affect me. I truly don't give a fuck what they think about me.

As a side note, one of those fuckers called me at my house one time to tell me that he was proud of how well I had done in college, but that I shouldn't get cocky thinking that I had done it myself, because Jesus did it for me. Again, :wtf:!

[saltpoint]

11. My guess is your college accomplishments are --

-- yours and not Jesus'.

Shame on whoever that was who called you and tried to subtract from your achievement.

[Maddy McCall]

14. Where I live, women work but they don't have professions...

and they CERTAINLY don't become professors. I think that this Baptist deacon was attempting to put a rowdy woman in her place.

Fuck him. :D

[saltpoint]

16. Well, in the true blue America --

-- women can do whatever the damn well want to.

He's just going to have to update his file.

On these reptile-brained fundamentalist nutcases: I guess every now and then, we've got to just take these people out behind the woodshed and whup their hineys.

[Maddy McCall]

17. I'd be happy if we'd just soundly pound them in an election.

:(

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

12. WTF indeed!

:crazy:

[Maddy McCall]

15. And let me add that that is another place where I break with stupid...

southern mores. Yes--I HAVE FRIENDS WHO HAPPEN TO BE BLACK MEN! SO FUCKING WHAT???!!!

I live in an ultraconservative pocket in the South. The university town in which I work is not NEARLY so repressive.

[cry baby]

4. did you laugh out loud before she could get out of the store?

[Maddy McCall]

9. After I got over my initial shock of what had just happened, YES, my...

friend and I BOTH busted out laughing. And then we talked about crazy Republicans like her before parting ways. :7

[Frances]

5. Bush is no more a true Christian than Satan is

That's what I would have been tempted to say.

[Wickerman]

7. lol, of course the big difference is Satan actually once believed...

O8)
=
:evilgrin:

[jeff30997]

6. "shifted addiction from pills to Jesus "

Wan't some Jesus,man ? Great stuff man ! Whoah !:hippie:

[Maddy McCall]

13. It's kind of a rite of passage here in deep Dixie.

You party your ass off as a teen, then as a young adult you marry a couple of times before you transfer your addictions from pills or booze to Jesus. Happens all the time here.

Then you become hypercritical of the people with whom you used to (and probably wish you still could) associate.

I see it all the time. When I was a teen in the Southern Baptist church, me and other rebellious youth, who only went to church because our folks forced us to, always used to laugh about the girl who had danced on the bar the night before going down to the front on Sunday morning during "invitation" to confess her "sins." Those girls did it every Sunday. It got to be so much of a joke that we would look at our watches and count down "5-4-3-2-and there she goes." And sure enough, Leeann or Darlene would head to the front, in tears, to confess her whoredom from the night before. :D

I could write a frigging book on Southern hypocrisy and the conversion experience. :7

[CornField]

10. She says: "Bush is a Christian!" You say:

"That's about as likely as you getting adequate protection from small tampons."