Would you break off a relationship because one person didn't want kids?

[HEyHEY]

I probably would.

[Solly Mack]

1. Yes

[XanaDUer]

2. Yes. And I would break off a relationship

if someone wanted did and I did not.

[tjdee]

3. You'd probably find that out BEFORE you got married, for sure.

I have a kid already, so I'm not going to have that problem.

When I was younger, I wouldn't have broken it off because I didn't see kids in my immediate future anyway.

Today, if I had no kids, I would break it off if the guy's opinion differed from mine. That's a pretty big thing if you're serious about a person.

[flvegan]

4. I'd break off a relationship if she wanted kids.

I don't want kids. I never will. Nothing against them, really. However, were I with someone that really, really wanted kids, was sure she was going to have kids, dreamed of having kids, I'd break it off (she probably would first, though). I wouldn't want her to waste her time when she could be out there finding the perfect guy for her, and father for her kid(s).

[jellybelly]

5. no, I would start a relationship with anyone

who didn't want kids:shrug:

[JimmyJazz]

6. I've never been faced with that decision, but my brother and his

girlfriend of four years just broke up over the issue. She realized that she did want kids after all.

BTW - if someone tells you that they don't want kids - believe them - it's not something one normally changes their mind about. (same thing if someone tells you they aren't interested in marriage).

[tjdee]

8. This is extremely important--BELIEVE what people say to you.

In the case of men particuarly, if he says he doesn't want to get married, don't secretly think he's going to marry you. If he says he doesn't want kids, he doesn't want kids.

Women (at least the ones I know of) tend to be slightly more malleable on these issues. Slightly.

In general, it's good to hear what people are telling you instead of hearing what you want to hear.

[amazona]

7. just the opposite

Since I don't want kids, I never dated anyone who had kids or revealed that he wanted them. It wouldn't be fair since my decision is not going to change. Even as a teen, if I knew a man had children, I wouldn't date him. I don't even want my own, I'm sure not going to raise someone else's!

So far from breaking up with someone who didn't want kids, that is what I sought out in my partners. Men who don't want kids can be very kind and intelligent. They just don't happen to want kids. Not everyone does.

[supernova]

9. Yes, b/c these are different life expectations

It isn't fair to the one person who does want kids for them to remain in a relationship with a person who can't give them that.

[gollygee]

10. I would

My husband and I talked before we got married about wanting kids, but after we got married he said he didn't want any kids.

I don't know if I would personally be happy without ever having a child. My dh agreed to have one child. I love him and it would have been sad to leave, but I would have had to consider it if he hadn't changed his mind. Luckily, he understood how I felt.

[fluffernutter]

11. it depends on how serious the relationship was, but

i think with potential long-term ones, you should definitely agree on the important big issues like kids.

[rug]

12. depends on what her underwear looked like

[Renew Deal]

13. Possibly

Especially if it was something we agreed to beforehand.

[RetroLounge]

14. I would, and I did.

with someone I had know for a long time and was serious with.

She said no way on kids, and I said adios. She moved away, and I moved on.

Now I have 2 beautiful children and have no regrets.

RL

[bleedingheart]

15. Personal story

before we were married, Mr. B and I weren't sure if we wanted kids or not...but I had been told when I was a teenager after some thorough testing that I might have fertility problems. In fact the endocrinologist stated that he thought I might never have kids.

So...before the relationship got really serious I told Mr. B. He married me in spite of the fertility issue.

8 months after marrying me...I got pregnant..

[catzies]

16. Yes. And I have. More than once. Men have biological clocks too.

I had my one and only child when I was 17, and in my 30s and 40s all the guys I dated wanted to have kids. I was done. They didn't understand that, and all of them broke up with me and went on to breed.

I'm not sorry at all, as now I'm an empty nester and if I had kids with any of those guys, I woulnd't be an empty nester now. It's everything I hoped it would be, when I was telling those guys I didn't want any more kids. I have absolutely no regrets. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. None.

[DS1]

17. I'd mull on it for a few moments

then come to my senses and appreciate the fact that I could still make the coffee in the morning buck nekkid without having to worry about kids seeing my goodes.

That answer your question?

[readmylips]

18. Yes and it happened to a girlfriend.....

My friend Judy couldn't have children and her husband-to-be knew it and accepted it. She had early cancer of the uterus and went through a hysterectomy.

Five years after their marriage, she learned that her husband was having children, 2 kids, with another woman from his job. Now he's married to the other woman and they have 4 kids.

My girlfiend adopted two beautiful kids with her new husband.

[SarahB]

19. Kind of a too late for me.

I already have kids, but we plan on having very joint custody. Anyone I'd get serious with would have to accept my children at least some of the time (and like children enough to more than just accept it really). I'm realistic enough know there's many people who couldn't. I also wouldn't want anyone in a hurry to have children either. I could consider one more child years down the road and I've got enough time left, but I have to take care of my own stuff in the next few years before I'd be able to be in that place again.

[Left Is Write]

20. Yes.

[Dastard Stepchild]

21. Seems fair to honor both individual's desires....

I'd have to see how strongly I really felt about the kid issue. As the clock started ticking louder, this would prolly become a more pressing issue in a relationship.

[Misunderestimator]

22. I would likely break off a relationship if the other person wanted kids

[cestpaspossible]

23. Yes, but, then again, I am often described as

the sexiest man alive.

[Bouncy Ball]

24. It can definitely be a deal breaker.

After our daughter was born, I wanted another (or I thought I did) and my husband did not. He was very happy and fulfilled as the father to one, and felt we were complete as three.

The struggle went on for years, but finally I realized that HE would have to be a parent to the child he didn't want to begin with and that would be totally unfair to both him and the child.

I am very very happy with the way things turned out. One IS perfect for us. His instincts are always right on the money.

[SOteric]

25. Kind of depends I guess. I'm not really into having kids.

My biological clock isn't ticking despite the predictions that it one day will, and I very likely may not be able to have children.

My life is pretty fulfilling without children, and I have hopes and plans that could adversely affect parenting, and be adversely affected by parenting. Often, spending time with my friends children leads me to assert firmly that I'm not interested in yard-apes of my own.

Even so, I'd have to say it depends very much on the circumstance.

If it truly means that much to someone I love deeply enough to share a life with, I suspect I'd give it a serious try. I'm a fairly intense and deep person and I don't tend to love lightly. Abandoning such a relationship over any single issue wouldn't be simple matter for me.

There are many ways to have children in your life if childbirth isn't an option, including adoption, fostering, the big-brother/big sister programs and miscellaneous test tubes.

I'm not really in a hurry to try parenthood, and I've made sure the men in my life have know that before we've gotten deeply involved.

Maybe I just don't like giving a black or white answer meant to cover all potential opinions on a given matter.

[El Fuego]

26. They broke up with ME because I don't want kids.

Fortunately, I found someone now who feels the way I do.

[retread]

27. No. Who can predict the future? Love and commitment

can change a lot of things!

[DrZeeLit]

28. Someone broke up with me once because I couldn't have kids.

It was rather painful to hear I was "deficient". We were the same age; I'd had a child at 22 and had an emergency hysterectomy at 40. I have no idea why he was seriously dating me at 43. Soooo, I quickly realized what an ass the guy was in general. My friends pointed out some other issues and I got past the "romanticizing" and they were right.

The kids issue is a big one. Lots of talk needs to happen early.